Writing: Input Wanted Eden Cronicles, Time to wake up

Thetom

Yes. I didn't make that clear, sorry.

P.S note the OP is now on the third draft of his excerpt. Where else can you find like-minded people who are dedicated enough to hack away at multiple drafts of the same piece, always seeking improvement in a friendly and encouraging environment.

http://www.sffchronicles.co.uk/forum/

Advice on science in fiction = Physics Forums
Advice on science fiction writing = Chronicles (and PF :)

I have also pointed out PF to aspiring writers as a place to seek advice, fwiw.

r4z0r84

Nimbian, i have met a new friend that is also dyslexic she uses "dragon naturally speaking" (voice to text software) to write everything on the computer, i must also say it is of a great feat to write a novel as a dyslexic i have seen my friend write without using a voice to text type program and it is close to impossible to read and it frustrates her constantly.

Dont give up, also i do have to agree with the others in terms of current and past events in the same sentence but i only see that if i analise and dont just read your work, I am no english teacher or anything of the sort (i usually dont read books at all) but i find this story quite interesting!

keep up the good work!

Nimbian

Thanks Every one. I haven't given up. I just have no time at the moment, due to a new Job.

Hopefully I can get Chapter 1 up before December.
I'll look into Dragon Naturally speaking and into the other forum that was suggested when I have more time.

and again Thanks for the support

Nimbian

Hello Everyone.

While I'd love to post the next chapter I can not as I have not had the time to actually write it. so instead to keep both this thread alive and active, and to keep my story in mind so I can actually write it. I've decided to get your options of several plot (for lack of a better word) devices and Background to see if there is any obvious questions about the Technologies, Civilizations, or peoples that I should answer.

Feel free not to read this post if you don't want to know the background of my "universe"

1st.
Nexagona (a world/ star Empire) has gone thru many changes since its founding (before Earths destruction) The one constant has been its monarchy, Its been a Elective monarchy to a Cult of personality (similar to emperor worship in Rome, except more.... rock star-ish.) and into it current form of Technocratic Meritocracy Utopia. (utopia being the Ideal they are attempting to achieve). Currently the Royal family is extremely active in the maintenance and governance of their growing empire (from a single world to over 30 in the last thousand years.) The governance of the empire is entrusted to the "Nobility", who's parents can be of any station. Position in the government (Civil service) is determined, for the most part, by ability intellectual and physical. Ruler-ship is traditionally limited to specific family lines and then the most capable member is chosen when ever there is an opening.

However any Title can be handed out by the Royal Family to any deserving or worthy individual, and any title can also be revoked by the current reigning King or Queen, provided certain conditions have been met (Such as evidence of corruption, treason, or unlawful usurpation of another title.)

Drakkith

If you are really interested in writing, I'd highly recommend getting a few books on the subject. I personally like "Make a Scene" by Jordan E. Rosenfeld, and "How NOT to Write a Novel" by Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman. Both are very educational and fun reads.

For one thing, I really hope that isn't a whole chapter you have posted here, as it's FAR too short. You just started your first scene and it really hasn't even gotten going yet.

As for your background, well it seems fine to me, but perhaps a little too "perfect". Unless of course that's how it's really supposed to be and the plot elaborates on perhaps the struggles of maintaining the quality of the leadership, or something of that nature. Or you could just ignore explaining it out right and focus on telling the story. That can work too. It really depends on what you are writing.

Also, do you have an idea of what the overall plot is for your story yet? It may help if you know the direction you will head in before writing.

Nimbian

No it isn't a whole chapter its just a prelude. and thanks for the suggested reading, I'll look into getting a copy of both books

As for my background piece its just one of many societies that exists in the universe. and while it seems a little Idealistic its because it is. Nexagona is striving for perfection, and knowingly falling short of it. The costs both materially and of people are not mentioned, and the above only covers over the ruling class, not the rest of the population, on the 30 odd worlds they control. The main connection with the story is the little girl in the above prelude is a member of the Royal family.

The Main plot of the story resolves around a group of cultures (alien) that are manipulating Galactic Law (of which humanity, save the Edenites, are unaware of) in a bid for domination of Human space. (there is a lot of history of why humanity is impotent enough to be protected by Galactic law.)

The Main purpose of the Laws are to prevent an all out conflict between cultures who have enough Technology/power/means to decimate entire star-systems or even cause damage to the stability/livability of the Galaxy. Cultures that violate these laws a swiftly dealt with by the entire community. Humanity was considered a Galactic Level civilization under the Edenites, and Humanity is still protected by systems left by them, and Eden's One ally on the Galactic council. But should Eden prove unable to "protect" Humanity another group can step in.

To this end they are un-terraforming (Reversing the process to how the world was before Eden Terraformed it) human worlds to create a crisis that Humanity will be unable to solve, thus necessitating aid by the Galactic Council, which in turn opens Humanity to becoming a protectorate of one of these unnamed alien races.

Nimbus Who has no knowledge of this (being from a time just before the Edenites became a member of the Galactic council). Starts putting it all together, and has to (by virtue of being the last Edenite) put a stop to it, unite Humanity, and basically save the day.

Drakkith

Sounds like a plot to me!

brenan

A word of caution - I wrote my first SF short in 1978.
Then I started reading books about writing and found I enjoyed reading about
writing more than actually putting pencil to paper. Maybe because they were
such good books full of truth and real help - I kept thinking I needed more help than I did. (maybe - some might say I still need a lot more ... )
Anyway - I didn't finish anything again for 20 years. Too busy reading to write.

The best book I ever read was a very old one By L. Sprague DeCamp - If you can track that down it may be worth a read although the practical stuff in it is seriously out of date now.

Nimbian

Thanks for stopping by Brenan

if your talking about this Book then I'll keep an eye out for it.

I just really wish I had more time in which to actually sit down and write with. just too many projects on the go, and unfortunately most of them are not "optional" :(

so far I have written and rewritten the first chapter at least three times.... :( one of these attempts I'll feel comfortable enough to let you guys tear it apart. :) I just want enough left when your done so it still has one leg to stand on... :)

Anyway thanks to every one that is following this thread.

Drakkith

Nimbian, if you've re-written the first chapter 3 times then it's time to put it away and move on to the next. You need to get the story down first before you go back and re-write. At least more than 1 chapter.

brenan

Yes thats the one. The version I have is the revised edition. I wish it was in better
condition - I've just found half the front dust cover on my shelf but no book.
I'll have to hunt it out.

Nimbian

Don't I know it Drakkith.

Its more a long the lines of being unhappy with the perspective, and balancing the attention I'm giving the characters and the environment. I also find my self writing from different characters perspectives.

The first chapter is hard for me because every thing is new for the reader, and trying to balance what is necessary for the audience to know and what is, for lack of a better way of saying it, "cool" (at least to me)

Drakkith

Cut it all out except for one, MAYBE two characters at most.

I can only recommend a few books I've read myself.

Make a Scene
The Idiots Guide to Writing a Novel
How NOT to Write a Novel