I apologize in advance for not having the energy for a full response.
You mention "formalism" as a negative, and "manipulation rules" as a positive -- but this is somewhat contradictory. By its very definition, formalism considers "manipulation rules" to be of primary importance.
And 'formalism' and 'intuition' are not exclusive. Knowing the rules is not the same as being able to apply the rules effectively; even a formalist considers intuition to be important. (I am a staunch formalist) But intuition doesn't override the rules of the game -- if there is a conflict, then either you must change your intuition or play a different game.
One of the major driving forces behind abstraction is that a fledgling theory will often have some central
important ideas and concepts, and a lot of generally irrelevant scaffolding that was used to construct the theory. One goal of abstraction is to revise the theory so that the important ideas are brought to the foreground, and the irrelevant details are pushed to the background, or even eliminated.
Abstract finite-dimensional vectors spaces are a
wonderful elementary example of this process. (And the very closely related notions of abstract tensor fields and abstract Hilbert spaces) Coordinates are a very convenient way to represent spatial vectors and to do rote calculation, but they carry a lot of mental baggage: before you can use them, you have to specify coordinate axes, and all of your manipulations are done through coordinates, rather than working directly with the underlying concepts. But if you appeal to the vector space formalism, you now get to work directly with the objects of interest, without the added baggage of bases and coordinates.
Unfortunately, and ironically, vector spaces are one of the examples of staunch resistance to 'abstraction'; some people will swear up and down that studying anything but vector spaces of n-tuples is pointless abstraction and obscures the real meaning of vectors.
As for definitions versus conceptual picture, you have to realize that people understand things differently. For example, for me,
this Wikipedia page paints a very vivid picture. But, alas, I find a "physics"-style introduction to QFT to be entirely impenetrable. The end result is that I can't compute a darned thing, but I can easily understand some of the high level concepts, such as how locality fits into the picture. On a more elementary note, I once took a short course in quantum computing, which explicitly avoided doing any real 'physics', instead using purely 'abstract' linear algebra. (We didn't even talk about the Bloch sphere!) But I learned far more about quantum entanglement than I did in all of my many hours of self-study of more traditional sources.
This is another example of what I was saying about abstraction. These 'abstract' presentations were much closer to the concepts in which I was interested, and thus I was much better able to understand them. Whereas I gather little to no understanding from more 'concrete' presentations that have a lot of obscuring details.