Married couples

wolram

Do they live longer? well my folks have been together for one heck of a time but if you knew about the arguments you would wonder why, how can constant nagging make one live longer?

Moonbear

Because they nag each other to see a doctor when something is wrong? That's supposedly the reason married men live longer than unmarried men, because their wives make them see a doctor every so often. I don't think that married women have any better longevity than unmarried women though, IIRC. I think women do better having a pet than a husband.

Schrodinger's Dog

Well it's like owning a dog, if you have someone that loves you then you tend to live longer.

Nah only joking it's the fact that your wife will make you eat right, not get drunk every night and so on. It's like religion: makes you live longer, well that's only because you can't do all the things you want to do, but life isn't about quality it's about quantity.

Of course I'm being flippant and generalising. There's only one way of life and that's your own. And to be frank, there are more ways to swing a cat.

lisab

Maybe it just seems longer...

But seriously, I can completely understand why having a companion makes one happier, and therefore healthier. Even if a couple always squable at each other, at least there's someone there.

wolram

Well is it your self that will live a thousand years?
Lol

Astronuc

Married men do live longer than single men, but single women live longer than married women - statistically that is.

It really depends on the quality of the marriage which depends on the quality of BOTH partners in a marriage.

The best example of a marital relationship that I've seen is that of my parents. They are still in love and inseparable after 51+ years. My parents have mutual interests, as well as their own individual interests, and they support each other.

wolram

Okay, i will love you and leave you, but that is not fair as i will go first, sod it women allways have first dibs.

Poop-Loops

Dammit, looks like I need to buy me a wife now.

wolram

Sorry PL but no woman would want you now, you are doomed to die young.

Poop-Loops

Oh well. At least I know what to play at my funeral.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vhY-9HfN4ZM

Moonbear

That's a great argument for gay marriage! Let all the men get married (to each other) so they can live longer, and leave us women out of it....we'll get cats...they're easier to train.

Jimmy Snyder

Last week, my wife and I were discussing the fact that when she made dinner that evening, she burnt the water. As so often happens during our pleasant little tete-a-tetes, I received a mild concussion. This would not have occurred if I had averted her love pat earlier, but my back was in a brace as a result of an earlier conversation involving my opinion of her driving. I should point out that ours is a mixed marriage. I devoutly drive on the right hand side of the road, but she wavers in her devotion to my faith. When I said 'I told you so' after a fender-bender, she put a dent in my itinerary. Last night when she came to visit me in the hospital, I cornered her with this question. Cornering my wife is not always the wisest course of action. Now I've got a contusion on my big toe that reaches up to my cranium. She said the reason married people live longer is one of the great mysteries of life.

Poop-Loops

Hit her for a change, see how she likes it.

Oh no, wait, that's illegal.

Jimmy Snyder

I tried that. It turns out that she doesn't like it in the least. But I've learned my lesson. The next time I decide to strike her, I'll mail it in.

Poop-Loops

You might have to hire a bodyguard.

Cyrus

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.


Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.


If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a response."


That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."


Then in! A normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.


So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.


Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response;


So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.


So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?”


"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"