The great fortune-cookie fraud

Ivan Seeking

The time has come when I can no longer tolerate one of the great deceptions of modern life - fortune cookie fraud. Earlier I opened three prepackaged cookies provided by a credible and reliable Chinese restaurant, that were each clearly labeled as a "Fortune Cookie". But when I anxiously read my fortunes, so that I would know what to expect tomorrow, instead I got:

1). You have the ability to be persuasive
2). Talent does what it can. Genius does what it must.
3). You are contemplative and analytical by nature.

Clearly 1 and 3 were statement of fact cookies masquerading as fortune cookies. Yes, I am contemplative, analytical, and persuasive; all true, but that is not a fortune. If I want a statement of fact cookie, I will go to a restaurant owned by Obama supporters. In case 2, we clearly have a wisdom of the ages cookie. Yes, I am a genius, which is why I must write this post, but if I had wanted the wisdom of the ages, I would have gone out for Greek.

Pengwuino

Obviously this thread is bordering on fringe conspiracy theories. Fortune cookies are proven science and to demean the Chinese culture is a hate crime.

Locked pending moderation.

Phyisab****

I agree. At first I thought to myself, a real fortune would be too risky. But then I thought, a real fortune wouldn't have to be any more risky even. For example, "you will be contemplative and analytical tomorrow," that's a bit more of a fortune.

Evo

My older daughter solved the fortune cookie odds, when she turned it over and saw the string of numbers across the bottom. She read the fortune then turned it over and said "and the odds of this happening are 5 23 678 92 537", she was 5 years old.

DaveC426913

There is no question that fortune quality has declined over the years.

I must say though, I got the funniest fortune ever once:

The first love, the last love: self love.

Good thing I wasn't on a date...

Evo

I opened a fortune cookie once...and it was blank. It was at The Happy Buddha in Houston, I was with 2 of my girlfriends. Sums my life up perfectly.

Phyisab****

hahahaha oh man barely appropriate for physics forums

Tsu

Yeah, but what irks me the most is those dang 'bad advice' cookies. They're just the pits.

Jimmy Snyder

"You will cross the Yellow River many times", received by a little girl who was still wetting her bed. True story.

Newai

Ivan, you're supposed to eat the entire cookie before reading the fortunes. Otherwise they turn into faux wisdom. You're also supposed to eat them with eyes closed, and more importantly, choose only the cookies on the highest quality china that happen to be pointing at you.

Then you have to eat the fortune to make it come true.

Ivan Seeking

Check. Did that. If I don't eat them quickly, my wife will get them.

Wow, "wisdom" is more complicated than I thought.

With my coordination skills, that gets tricky.

I did choose only the ones wrapped in the finest plastic.

Ivan Seeking

Query: Does the expiration date apply to the fortune or the cookie?

erok81

I've got you all beat.

My wife got one that said "An alien will be appearing to you shortly."

That was the weirdest and best I've seen.

DaveC426913

And...?

GeorginaS

Well, obviously an alien appeared to her shortly. Duh.

MotoH

I have one that says:

"Come back later, I am sleeping (fortune cookies need their rest too!)"

I can scan it if you want!

Ivan Seeking

This one is interesting: Help! I'm being held hostage in a Fortune Cookie factory.