Math jokes

by arcnets
Tags: jokes, math
 P: 513 A party of people travel in a hot-air balloon. The balloon is blown out to sea, and after many days, land comes into sight again. When floating over the coastline, they see a man walking along a path. One of them shouts: 'Hello! Where exactly are we?' The wanderer looks up, scratches his head, and thinks for some time. Then he shouts: 'You're in the gondola of a hot-air balloon!' That must have been a mathematician. Because: 1) He thought a long time before giving an answer. 2) The answer is absolutely correct. 3) The answer is absolutely useless.
 Admin P: 8,317 A mathematician organized a raffle in which the prize was advertised as an infinite amount of money. He sold all the tickets quickly. When the winning ticket was drawn, and the happy winner came to claim his prize, the mathematician explained the mode of payment: 1 dollar now, 1/2 a dollar next week, 1/3 a dollar the week after that...
 P: 513 Problem 1: You have a pot full of water. It's on the right-hand side of the oven. Make it boil. Engineer: Put it on the oven. Physicist: Put it on the oven. Mathematician: Put it on the oven. Problem 2: You have a pot full of water. It's on the left-hand side of the oven. Make it boil. Engineer: Put it on the oven. Physicist: Put it on the oven. Mathematician: We move the pot to the right-hand side and, in doing so, reduce the problem to one we have already solved...
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Math jokes

A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician were given the following simple task:

Given a length L of fence, build a pen that encloses the maximum area.

The physicist knew the well-known result of calculus of variations that a circle maximizes the area, so he set up a circular pen.

The engineer was conscious of all the production costs, including R&D time, so he didn't bother with the math and simply set up a square pen.

The mathematician wrapped the fence tightly around himself, and said "I define myself to be on the outside".
 PF Patron Sci Advisor Emeritus P: 5,539 Engineers think that equations approximate reality. Physicists think that reality approximates equations. Mathematicians have yet to make any connection between the two.
 Mentor P: 7,205 A Topologist is a mathmatician who cannot tell the difference between his morning cup of coffee and his donut.
 P: 383 An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician applied for a job requiring computational skill. The test question was "What is 2 times 2?" The engineer pulled out a slide rule {this is an old joke!} and replied "3.998". The physicist used a scientific handheld calculator and came up with "3.99999998 x 100". The mathematician answered "I don't know the value, but I can prove it exists and that it is unique."
P: 254
 Originally posted by quartodeciman An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician applied for a job requiring computational skill. The test question was "What is 2 times 2?" The engineer pulled out a slide rule {this is an old joke!} and replied "3.998". The physicist used a scientific handheld calculator and came up with "3.99999998 x 100". The mathematician answered "I don't know the value, but I can prove it exists and that it is unique."
Then the accountant walked over to the door closed it and sat back down. Quietly he asked "What do you want it to be?".
 P: 434 There are only 10 types of people in the world: programmers, and those who don't get it.
P: 383
 Originally posted by plus Then the accountant walked over to the door closed it and sat back down. Quietly he asked "What do you want it to be?".
Ha! Ha! Right! He got the job, because it was an auditing position.
Thanks,
 P: 1,560 Three (3) statisticians were out duck hunting, and a duck took off, right it front of them. The first Statistician fired at a duck and was ahead of it by 15%, the second Statistician fired off a quick follow up, and was behind the duck by 15%, the third Statistician dropped his calculator and screamed "WE GOT IT!"
 P: 228 Let |[ee]| < 0
P: 383
 Originally posted by Sting Let |[ee]| < 0
That is really very funny! [a)]
I would like to see some fabulous conclusion made from an antecedent like this-- like those sneaky, covert divide-by-zero conclusions,
e.g.1=2.
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