how do you deal with low self-esteem/body image/adequacy issues?

theJorge551

Just a few concise questions...I'd really appreciate anyone's input here..

How often is it regular (to you, personally) to feel inadequate or have low self-esteem?

Regardless of how often...how do you deal with low self-esteem/body image/adequacy issues?

Does the magnitude of the situation determine what measures you take to help yourself feel better?

Any responses are welcome, thanks.

lisab

Now that I'm in my 40s I don't have body images issues very much. I just stay fit, that's the important thing. I think of myself as a car that may not be the shiniest on the road, but the engine runs great .

Self-esteem...well, I try to challenge myself on a regular basis. When I'm struggling with something new I often feel stupid. I recognize it as a normal part of learning, that phase where you feel dumb and overwhelmed and confused. It's temporary, though.

I'm not sure what you mean by "the magnitude of the situation." Can you clarify?

theJorge551

I suppose when I say the "magnitude", I really mean to refer to how powerful an effect it has on your temporary emotional state. I hope that clears up the question. Thanks for the reply!

lisab

Ah thanks, I understand.

Well if I'm trying to figure something out and I get that "I'm dumb" feeling, usually it doesn't affect me. Like I said, I've come to recognize it as part of the learning process.

But if I'm tired or stressed, it can be pretty strong, enough to stifle learning. Then I have to take a break, wait for a better time to tackle the problem.

chaoseverlasting

After breakups. Real let down. Feel semi depressed through out.

DanP

Much of this is probably genetic, some persons will simply be less depressive than others through the life. You have a genetic threshold, and you will oscillate around that threshold in response to various events. The other part of it is social in nature. Self-discrepancies , such as difference between what you are and what you think you should be, and what you are and what your perception of what the society thinks you should be will generate powerful emotions, sadness in the first case and anxiety in the second. Especially the second is a powerful signal to tell you to stop maladaptive behaviors.

Act to change whatever causes you anxiety ? A small dose of anxiety is probably adaptive in many contexts. It's basically signaling you not to persist in non-adaptive behaviors.

You dont like your body ? Do something to change that :P There is a gym just about every corner. Dealing with such an issue starts with doing something, no matter how small to change what is bothering you.

There is really a single correct answer here. Change the attitude and **do** something to resolve the discrepancy you feel.

I think you should take action every time you feel there is something you want to do with yourself.

ThomasT

What others said, especially DanP. From my own experience I've found that setting a goal, making a plan, and sticking to it will more or less preclude 'feelings' of inadequacy or low self-esteem or whatever you want to call it.

What is it that you most want to learn or accomplish? A certain skill? A certain level of knowledge wrt some subject? A certain physical form or feeling? Give it some thought. You can't do everything at once, but physical training/exercise enhances almost everything, I would suppose. When you decide to do it, then commit to it, with passion (This entails a certain amount of sacrifice, work, discomfort, etc. You've got to do the work, even when you don't want to.) . Knowing that you've done your best, or at least approximated that wrt something, is much more important than the actual results. But, here's the thing. If you really do give it your best, then there will be results that you will be happy about.

So, what do you want to do, to learn, that you haven't already?

Chronos

The older I get, the more inadequate I feel - but, I know I am loved because I get more junk mail and telemarketing calls each year. We tend to judge ourselves by how we perceive others view us. As you age, you tend to accumulate useless debris that some people view as an opportunity to judge you. I find that laughably pathetic. My life goes on, they eventual die - and so do I. So what is the point of worrying about it? I could care less what people I hardly even know think about me.

DanP

It's not the only criteria, but it is a very important one. Humans are highly social animals, and how you relate to others and your position in certain social hierarchies (human social world is very complex, there are more than one hierarchy we relate to) will generate powerful emotions.

Basically you care mostly of the opinion of your in-group, the group on which your social identity is closely linked to. Those are ppl who you directly socially interact with, which you work with , you live with and so on.

Asking whats the point, it's like asking what is the point to train to run faster. The whole point is to negotiate the social world easier, to minimize the stress you receive. Those feelings you feel (if not in pathological amounts) are signals to help you find adaptive behaviors.

If you don't have any kind of signals, that's super cool and you can smile and say "What do I care what other ppl think". You are probably well adjusted to your "ecological" niche.

But if you feel such discrepancies and not worry about them to change the impact, it's equally laughably pathetic.