Foxworthy on Oregon


by Ivan Seeking
Tags: foxworthy, oregon
Ivan Seeking
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Jan26-05, 12:28 AM
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Okay, really The Pacific Northwest According To Jeff Foxworthy, but we all know that Oregon is special.

1. You know the state flower (Mildew)

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

5 You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal.

8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.

10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.

11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima and Willamette.

12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark -while only working eight-hour days.

15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."

17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation

18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and ou can
actually see it.

21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.

23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.

26. You measure distance in hours.

27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.

28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still
Raining (! Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer &Elk season (Fall).

30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them!
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Moonbear
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Jan26-05, 01:17 AM
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20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and ou can
actually see it.
I think that's my favorite!

I think I might make a good Oregonian. I already could get all those coffee questions right, same with the food questions. Though, 50 degrees is not warm enough for shorts yet. No way!
Tsu
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Jan26-05, 01:42 AM
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I'm with you, Moonbear. 75 and above is shorts weather.

Ivan Seeking
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Jan26-05, 02:43 AM
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Foxworthy on Oregon


Quote Quote by Moonbear
Though, 50 degrees is not warm enough for shorts yet. No way!
Don't worry, after you live here long enough you grow a lot of body hair.
Integral
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Jan26-05, 03:08 AM
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Not sure about Ivan and Tsu, but I was thinking shorts last week. Saturday freezing rain, Tuesday sunny and nearly 70! Don't 'ya just love Oregon.
Janus
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Jan26-05, 07:39 AM
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31: After rain all day, the Sun peaks out just before it sets and you remark, "Hey, it turned out to be a nice day after all!"
fourier jr
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Jan26-05, 09:06 AM
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sounds like he's describing someone from BC, except for the volcano stuff. the only BC volcano i know of is mt edziza which is about 2/3 of the way to the northern border (~450 miles away)
BobG
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Jan26-05, 10:24 AM
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Quote Quote by Moonbear
I think that's my favorite!

I think I might make a good Oregonian. I already could get all those coffee questions right, same with the food questions. Though, 50 degrees is not warm enough for shorts yet. No way!
Shorts, sandals, and a parka sounds like Colorado.

The shorts and sandals when it's 50 and sunny.

The parka for when it's 50 and cloudy.

We don't have much atmosphere in Colorado, so the temperature isn't all that important. But at least we know what a sunny day is.
Moonbear
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Jan26-05, 10:56 AM
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Quote Quote by Integral
Not sure about Ivan and Tsu, but I was thinking shorts last week. Saturday freezing rain, Tuesday sunny and nearly 70! Don't 'ya just love Oregon.
Oh, you think your special, do you? We've been getting the same bizarre weather shifts here in Cincinnati too. Are you guys sending all that here? Monday in the teens, Tuesday in the 50s or 60s (I didn't check the temp yesterday, just know it felt a bit too warm to have my winter coat on), today 30s. Someone let me know when spring is here, I think it's easier to just hibernate through this.
Ivan Seeking
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Jan26-05, 03:01 PM
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18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

We lived in Boring. The place is a state of mind - BORING! Really though, we had a dramatically beautiful view of Mt. Hood. We also saw the most incredible moonrise [over the mountain] that I have ever seen.

32. When you see the road sign:
Speed Limit
Trucks 55
Cars 65
PFers 75
tribdog
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Jan26-05, 04:43 PM
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33. Naked you resemble a light spectrum with hair because the rain makes your tie dye's bleed.
Kerrie
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Jan26-05, 08:41 PM
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9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
*raises hand ever so slightly*...yes, i know the differences...starbucks is so awful....COFFEE PEOPLE ROCKS!!(mostly because they are all drive thru).

11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima and Willamette.
Here's the proper way to say each: "Squim", "Pu-all-up", "Iss-a-qwa", "Or-e-gun", "Yak-im-a", and "Will-am-ett" (not willa-mett)...been to all these places except Sequim, the northwest is truly a culture all on it's own.
Moonbear
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Jan26-05, 08:48 PM
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Quote Quote by Kerrie
*raises hand ever so slightly*...yes, i know the differences...starbucks is so awful....COFFEE PEOPLE ROCKS!!(mostly because they are all drive thru).
LOL! I had never heard of the third one, but figured I could handle the challenge. If it doesn't taste burnt (Starbucks) or like cleaning fluid (Seattle's Best), then it must be the other one. Though, Starbucks isn't bad if you brew it yourself from their beans or drink only lattes. It's just when they brew the regular coffee at triple strength that makes it completely undrinkable. Unfortunately, I have two choices on campus, a Starbucks or a cafe that sells Seattle's Best. Of the two, I opt for Starbucks lattes.
Smurf
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Jan26-05, 10:59 PM
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4 out of 30... does this mean I don't qualify?
Moonbear
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Jan26-05, 11:07 PM
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Quote Quote by Smurf
4 out of 30... does this mean I don't qualify?
Nope. After that dress episode, you now are limited to only 2 cities in the US, San Francisco or New York (esp. Greenwich Village). Don't worry, the PF Turbo Party Bus makes stops in both cities, so you won't miss anything by not going to Oregon.
franznietzsche
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Jan26-05, 11:32 PM
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Quote Quote by Moonbear
Nope. After that dress episode, you now are limited to only 2 cities in the US, San Francisco or New York (esp. Greenwich Village). Don't worry, the PF Turbo Party Bus makes stops in both cities, so you won't miss anything by not going to Oregon.

Speaking of which, i'll be bringing vodka and rum, i just have to share the grey goose joy.
Kerrie
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Jan27-05, 08:31 AM
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Quote Quote by franznietzsche
Speaking of which, i'll be bringing vodka and rum, i just have to share the grey goose joy.

mmm grey goose....too bad I can't drink for the next 8 months
Moonbear
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Jan27-05, 08:47 AM
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Quote Quote by Kerrie
mmm grey goose....too bad I can't drink for the next 8 months
Does that mean what I think it means? If so, congrats!!!!


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