help me regain my thirst for knowledge

jd12345

Okay guys - I hope you all can help me ... maybe someone out there has gone through similar experiences.
There are some smart guys out there in my college and I feel very jealous when they score and I do not. Earlier I didn't care about how others performed, I was only focused on my knowledge.
I love studying and learning new things but this feeling of jealousy is killing me. I don't want to have it but still can't help it.

zoobyshoe

Just to clarify your problem: you're saying you used to be satisfied just learning but now you have become envious of people who get better grades?

SHISHKABOB

I use that feeling of competition to help me focus on working hard. There are kids in my class who generally do better than I do, but lately I have improved and I'm pretty sure that I'm ahead of them. This makes me feel a lot better about myself, but I couldn't have gotten here if I hadn't been jealous of them in the first place, since that was sort of what helped fuel my desire to improve.

jd12345

That's correct.

Maybe that would help me get better but I don't like the competitive feeling. I don't like comparing myself with others. I just want to enjoy learning.

Although I am not sure why am I saying all this on this forum, but still it makes me feel better to share this with some unknown people