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Abstract in my bachelor's thesis

by Lovendick
Tags: abstract, bachelor, thesis
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Lovendick
#1
May6-13, 09:10 AM
P: 4
well,I'm not quite sure is it appropiate to post this here. I'm just here for some help......
I‘m a Chinese senior student in college. When I'm writing the abstract in my bachelor's thesis,I've got some trouble—— terminology and grammar.
As you know,my English is not that good to write an english abstract easily.And many terminology cannot be googled in google translate. So I’m here to ask for some help——help me to find out the mistake in my abstract:
abstract:
   Copper is widely used in many fields because of it’s outstanding electric conductivity. Especially in the electrical and electric domain, copper is unreplaceable. But due to it’s lower intensive and the difficult of keeping a high intensive while enhancing it’s conductivity, how to intensify the copper without reducing it’s conductivity is one of researching hot spots currently.
   The materials of the experiment is electrical copper that used in the enamel-insulated wire. We used the Φ8mm electrical pure copper wire that produced by SCR method as a raw materials, then processed it into Φ0.3mm wire with two processes. We discussed each stretching and annealing process’s influence on the properties of the copper, analyzed the micro organization of each procedure. And compared and contrasted two processes.
   The research discovered that stretching process is a work hardening process to the copper. It makes grains fibrous, intensifies the copper and reduces it’s elongation and conductivity. On the contrary, annealing process makes grains smaller. Improve the elongation and conductivity, reduce the intensity.(compared with the sample that didn’t annealed, it’s intensity still improved) It is worth to be mentioned that after a high working rate stretching process, intensity reduced unnaturally. And in the following annealing profess, grains grow up unusually. This is going to have a negative influence on the sample.
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mfb
#2
May6-13, 10:54 AM
Mentor
P: 11,889
I had a look at the first two paragraphs, but I am not a native speaker, so I am sure others can do it better.

it’s -> its everywhere. "it's" would be "it is".
Especially in the electrical and electric domain
Do you mean "electric and electronic"?
But due to it’s lower intensive
I would remove "but". What is a "lower/higher intensive"? If you mean intensity: intensity of what? Do you mean mechanical stability in some way?
how to intensify the copper without reducing it’s conductivity is one of researching hot spots currently.
I would begin this part with the "researching hot spots" ("hot topics in research"?) and come to "how to..." afterwards.
The materials of the experiment is electrical copper
"materials ... are" (several materials) or "material... is" (one material). Where is the difference between "electrical copper" and other copper?
that used in the enamel-insulated wire
"that is used [...]?
We used the Φ8mm electrical pure copper wire that produced by SCR method as a raw materials
See the previous 2 quotes, and I think I would explain "SCR method" in an abstract.
Does "raw material" refer to the Φ8mm copper wire? Do you make a Φ0.3mm wire based on that? I think I would split that sentence.
We discussed
Did you do that in the past, or do you discuss it in your thesis?
, analyzed the micro organization of each procedure
"and analyze the ..."
And compared and contrasted two processes.
"The two processes are compared"? This should be clear from the explanation given before, I think I would drop that.
Lovendick
#3
May6-13, 10:42 PM
P: 4
I'm so greatful for you response,thank you for your time. and I still have some question about your answer

about"I would begin this part with the "researching hot spots" ("hot topics in research"?) and come to "how to..." afterwards."
——Do you mean that I should say it in this way:One of researching hot spots currently is how to intensify the copper without reducing it’s conductivity.


about""materials ... are" (several materials) or "material... is" (one material). Where is the difference between "electrical copper" and other copper?"
——I used to think that "electrical copper" is the copper that be used as a conductor or something else in the electrical industry. If not, how should I describe it?

about "Did you do that in the past, or do you discuss it in your thesis?"
——I just discuss it in my thesis. You mean I shouldn't the past tense?

mfb
#4
May7-13, 08:50 AM
Mentor
P: 11,889
Abstract in my bachelor's thesis

——Do you mean that I should say it in this way:One of researching hot spots currently is how to intensify the copper without reducing it’s conductivity.
Something like that, yes. "researching hot spots" is... hmm, I don't know.
It is "its", not "it’s".
I used to think that "electrical copper" is the copper that be used as a conductor or something else in the electrical industry.
As long as this material is not something special, I think I would just call it "copper".
You mean I shouldn't the past tense?
Past tense would indicate that it has been done in the past.
Lovendick
#5
May8-13, 03:30 AM
P: 4
well, I see,thanks for your help again.I'll spend a lot of time to find out those mistakes without your help.


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