Europeans and Small Talk or Lack Thereof

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around cultural differences in small talk between Europeans and Americans, exploring perceptions of communication styles, social norms, and personal experiences. Participants share anecdotes and opinions on the nature of conversations during social gatherings, particularly in dining settings.

Discussion Character

  • Debate/contested
  • Exploratory
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants express frustration with the perceived lack of small talk among Europeans, describing it as "creepy" and uncomfortable.
  • Others suggest that cultural differences may influence communication styles, with some Europeans preferring silence over small talk.
  • A few participants argue that the English may not fit the stereotype of being quiet, noting that small talk is more common among them compared to Germans or Scandinavians.
  • Some contributions highlight that silence can indicate comfort in a relationship, referencing a scene from "Pulp Fiction" to illustrate this point.
  • There are mentions of personal experiences with Finnish individuals, with some participants humorously acknowledging stereotypes about Finns being quiet or boring.
  • Participants also discuss the idea that Americans may engage in more small talk due to cultural norms, while Europeans might prioritize different conversational topics or enjoy silence.
  • One participant expresses a preference for meaningful conversations over what they perceive as "spam" in online discussions, contrasting this with their experiences of silence in social settings.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants do not reach a consensus on the nature of small talk across cultures. While some agree that cultural differences exist, others challenge the notion that Europeans lack conversational skills, leading to a variety of perspectives on the topic.

Contextual Notes

Limitations include varying definitions of small talk and cultural norms, as well as personal biases influencing perceptions of communication styles. The discussion reflects a mix of humor and serious commentary, with no clear resolution on the topic.

Who May Find This Useful

Individuals interested in cultural studies, communication styles, or social interactions across different societies may find this discussion relevant.

eNtRopY
I always thought I hated small-talk until I went to Europe. I hate the way you can go to lunch or have drinks with a European, and he/she will sit there with nothing to say. It's fvckin' creepy! It makes good ol' red-blooded Americans like myself feel fvckin' nervous!

It's funny because Europeans often criticize Americans for starting conversations about nothing in particular. You know what though? That's a hell of a lot better than sitting there staring at someone who's impersonating a deaf-mute. How can an entire continent of people have absolutely nothing to say? I mean, I know life in Europe moves far slower than in the fast-paced, cut-throat capitalistic, American society... but seriously.

eNtRopY
 
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Maybe our food's so much better that we decide to eat instead of talking when eating out :wink:
 
Maybe the Europeans just don't like you.
 
If you think that's bad, you should hear European talk radio...dead silence!

The old timers in Oregon are like this also. I was once in a busy restaraunt - full of mostly retired folks - that was virtually silent. It was creepy!
 
oh no culture shock...
 
oh no culture shock...

You best not be talking about europeans having no culture.
 
i think pulp fiction says it all, the scene with travolta and thurman in the diner. 'u know when ure really comfortable with someone when u don't feel u have to fill the silence' (or summink like that). or is it that we have nothing in common. or is it even that if we talked to you u'd have to talk back in that damn annoying accent (that goes for Canadians too).
 
Originally posted by Andy
You best not be talking about europeans having no culture.

Don't worry, everybody knows us yankees (that means the colonies) ain't got no culture. We just make fun of everyone elses.
 
Well to be fair, I would say that the English are least likely to follow this stereotype. From my experiences it is most prevalent in people from the Germanic and Scandinavian countries. Besides, from what I've heard and seen, the English consider themselves to be just English... not really European.

eNtRopY
 
  • #10
damn straight.
 
  • #11
too damn right we aint european, and we are great at small talk, but generally only with people we know quite well. and we refuse to eat with our mouths full which is why dinner coversations are a bit sparse
 
  • #12
Thats more like it, we are too civilised to talk whilst eating, i mean that's disgusting isn't it, spitting food everywhere whilst talking.
 
  • #13
Originally posted by eNtRopY
Well to be fair, I would say that the English are least likely to follow this stereotype. From my experiences it is most prevalent in people from the Germanic and Scandinavian countries.

eNtRopY

And of those, the Finn's take the prize.
 
  • #14
Originally posted by Janus
And of those, the Finn's take the prize.

You can say that again. Everytime I socialize with a certain Finnish girl, it's like I have to pull the words out of her... but she's so pretty, it's worth it.

eNtRopY
 
  • #15
isnt the weather nice today?
 
  • #16
It just looks nice I bet its going to rain.
 
  • #17
I think europe is awesome, you just got to learn to blend in. remember your in their country is all, they open up with you if you make it happen.
dx :wink:
 
  • #18
Originally posted by Janus
And of those, the Finn's take the prize.

I'm part Finnish. We are known as the most boring people on earth. Too much snow, vodka, and checkers.
 
  • #19
Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
I'm part Finnish. We are known as the most boring people on earth. Too much snow, vodka, and checkers.

Sh:t... have seen how beautiful Finnish girls are? They're like Swedish girls with Russian features.

Sometimes, I comtemplate dropping everything and applying for a job at Nokia. I here they pay sh:t... but imagine the view.

Screw conversation! Can a life consisting of taking saunas, drinking vodka, rolling in the snow, and snuggling under warm covers with pretty girls really be that boring? Besides, my sources tell me that Finland has the most national holidays (no work days) of any country in the world... thirty-seven and a half. Don't ask me where the half comes from.

eNtRopY
 
  • #20
I'm kinda abivalent about it. On one side I'd love my brother to talk more. He just gets home from work, and think everything is perfectly ok and only talk about these small things I know 2 secs what he's about to say. So that's very frustrating.
On the other hand my family in dinners always talk about stuff, usually on building of houses or politics. But still that's pretty smallish, because it's lots of girls but we still talk little about basic things as 'how was your day' or 'how're you feeling'.

Secondly though, and I've not been in usa, when I search through forums it's the americans who I really hate the most for doing the most filling up thread after thread with plain and simple: spam. I'd rather have a forum posted 2 messages by people each day of seriousness, than 50 a day with 90% spam. I really hate when that happens.

I love silence, and often it's because I can't hear myself think when something gotto be 'on' all the time, whether TV or someone talking. But here and there I'd love to just talk about everything also.
 
  • #21
Originally posted by Andy
You best not be talking about europeans having no culture.
culture shock...meaning you are surpised by another culture...
 
  • #22
Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
I'm part Finnish. We are known as the most boring people on earth. Too much snow, vodka, and checkers.

I'm full Finnish, and born in the town of the conception of our beloved St. Urho.
 
  • #23
Originally posted by Janus
I'm full Finnish, and born in the town of the conception of our beloved St. Urho.

Excellent. Hello there fellow Finn!

We are from the Palo-Mackey clan. I am just a little less than half by blood...with a touch of the Swede. Note that I'm not sure about the correct spelling of Mackey. The name was changed when my great grandfather came to the US due to some kind of political turmoil or war. My cousin has been to the original homestead in Finland. He traced the family back to the 1400's, but he has not passed along the details yet. I don't yet know the exact location of the farm, but I do hope to go there myself someday.
 
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  • #24
Talking and eating at the same time..

Can you say "MULTITASK?

If there is no small talk, what do you say when you meet at girl? "Hi there, you're pretty, will you marry me?"
 
  • #25
Originally posted by eNtRopY
I hate the way you can go to lunch or have drinks with a European, and he/she will sit there with nothing to say. It's fvckin' creepy! It makes good ol' red-blooded Americans like myself feel fvckin' nervous!
[/B]

maybe you just met someone shy :wink:
 
  • #26
Origionally posted by grimmy
oh no culture shock...

This is what you said in your first post your full on ****ing **** wit! judging by that i would assume that youa re trying to say that europeans have no culture when in fact it is us europeans that created culture. So why don't you learn to type you ****er and then people might understand what you are trying to say.
 
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  • #27
Originally posted by Andy
judging by that i would assume that youa re trying to say that europeans have no culture when in fact it is us europeans that created culture.

Yeah, you also invented homos! -- Doug, Ghost World (2001)

eNtRopY
 
  • #28
With the understanding that this is just for fun...

With the understanding that this is just for fun...you know us Yanks love our friends across the seas; our brothers in arms...our cohorts in crime... ...we even love the French but I'll never say it again... . Have you ever heard about the study which asked the question: What is the average number of tactile contacts between a husband and wife, while in public, and as a function of culture? I don't know the actual numbers by memory but the results went something like this:

Couples from India touched an average of 25 times per hour.
The Chinese came in second I think with 15 -18 contacts per hour.
The French averaged about 10 per hour; and Americans about 4 per hour. As for the British, we are still waiting.

This comes from Deepak Chopra if you care to find it.
 
  • #29
Originally posted by Andy
This is what you said in your first post your full on ****ing **** wit! judging by that i would assume that youa re trying to say that europeans have no culture when in fact it is us europeans that created culture. So why don't you learn to type you ****er and then people might understand what you are trying to say.

I don't know, it seemed pretty clear to me that he was making a sarcastic joke. I think you're reading way too much into it.
 
  • #30
Funny comment for a person that doesn't believe in stereotypes hmm, Entropy?

I guess that the person was just intimidated by having an american sitting across.. maybe he/she doesn't speak english?? People can be shy in speaking a foreign language you know. So now that problem is solved..

I have the following situation for you which irritates me to no end: the american (or maybe just michigan) custom of greeting a person by:

hi, how are you doing?
good, how are you?
good.
good!
.. and life goes on as if nothing ever happened ..

Without taking the time of actually slowing down the walk, actually being interested in the answer, actually starting a conversation. Disclaimer: this is not something that just happens to me, rather it is something that happens everywhere, anytime, anyone.


and btw, I really would think that the Indian population tops the charts when it comes to holidays!
 

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