Almighty Cleanse ™

[Ivan Seeking]

Almighty Cleanse™ is an all-natural herbal formula and is one of the most effective cleansing products on the market. Helping thousands of people rediscover good health through whole body internal cleansing. Almighty Cleanse™ is a two part detoxifying system and is formulated to maximize one's elimination without causing loose stools or uncomfortable cramping via frequent healthy bowel movements.

Almighty Cleanse for maximum colon cleanse control [continued]
http://www.almighty-cleanse.net

[Ivan Seeking]

Has anyone seen the informercial for this stuff? It is a bit funny in that I have never heard such a frank discussion on TV about bowel movements. But this guy is claiming that he produced a 6 foot long stool, with worms, after Almighty Cleansing!!!

Allegedly some women claim to only have one movement a month. :rolleyes: I don't think that is even possible without the need for emergency medical attention.

[Moonbear]

Yeah, I've had the misfortune of seeing that infomercial. It's the most ridiculous stuff I've ever heard. He's got some *problems* to say the least. And, yeah, you're not going to have one bowel movement a month unless you're starving yourself. I'm surprised it's even legal for him to make such outrageous claims. I don't even think someone on muscle relaxants can keep their sphincter open long enough for a 6 foot stool to exit. And, considering the entire colon isn't even usually that long (about 5 ft in most people), and water absorption is occurring through the length of it, it's rather incredulous that anyone would have that large of a stool that was fully formed. Much of that would still be quite watery if expelled all at once.

[Greg Bernhardt]

I've seen the informercial too and I think there are two reasons it is only on late ;)
Really phoney too. It's setup like a talk show. Just the name is silly too " Almighty Cleanse!!!".

Here are the ingredients

Proprietary Blend 500mg*
Cape Aloe (leaf), Senna (Leaf), Barberry (root), Cascara Sagrada (bark), Rhubarb (root), garlic (bulb), Black Walnut (hulls), wormwood (whole herb), Cloves (bud), fennel (seed), Ginger (root), cayenne (fruit)

[Moonbear]

Well, at least it looks nutritious! :rofl: The name makes it sound like something to clean your bathroom, not to help you use the bathroom.

[DaveC426913]

..it's rather incredulous that anyone would have that large of a stool that was fully formed...Did you not have any men in your house growing up?

[Moonbear]

Did you not have any men in your house growing up?

I think the record was my younger cousin who could manage about a foot long poop at a time (pretty much the length of one's rectum in one shot). We considered this to be quite ABnormal, especially my poor aunt who would have to go into the bathroom after him and break it up with a clothes hanger before flushing so it wouldn't clog the toilet. I wonder if he knows we used to talk about his poop when he was a kid. :uhh: Now that he has kids of his own, maybe I should ask. :biggrin: :devil:

[Math Is Hard]

Well, at least it looks nutritious! :rofl: The name makes it sound like something to clean your bathroom, not to help you use the bathroom.

It sounds like it would clean the bathroom, clean your colon, and provide eternal salvation - all for one low price!

[Moonbear]

It sounds like it would clean the bathroom, clean your colon, and provide eternal salvation - all for one low price!

:rofl: Maybe you should go into advertising. :rofl:

[Ivan Seeking]

Cape Aloe (leaf), Senna (Leaf), Barberry (root), Cascara Sagrada (bark), Rhubarb (root), garlic (bulb), Black Walnut (hulls), wormwood (whole herb), Cloves (bud), fennel (seed), Ginger (root), cayenne (fruit)

Add some diced tomatoes and I think you have one of Turbo's salsa's!

[turbo-1]

Add some diced tomatoes and I think you have one of Turbo's salsa's!
Errr.....there's no habanero chilies in there.

[Math Is Hard]

Add some diced tomatoes and I think you have one of Turbo's salsa's!

:smile:

Turbo Cleanse™

[_Mayday_]

Well, at least it looks nutritious! :rofl: The name makes it sound like something to clean your bathroom, not to help you use the bathroom.

I don't think they want you to understand the name so you think its some fancy medicine. In all those "anti-age" advert nobody knows what they are on about, or atleast most of their customers don't. :confused:

I know we are talking about the actual product here, but I am not really sure how much you need that. A healthy well balanced diet will avoid six foot monster.

[Kurdt]

What a disturbing product. Its apparent from the ingredients list that the guy who "invented" the product has just taken anything that is said to either be naturally good for the digestive system or a natural laxative and put them all together.

[Poop-Loops]

Yeah, I've had the misfortune of seeing that infomercial. It's the most ridiculous stuff I've ever heard. He's got some *problems* to say the least. And, yeah, you're not going to have one bowel movement a month unless you're starving yourself. I'm surprised it's even legal for him to make such outrageous claims. I don't even think someone on muscle relaxants can keep their sphincter open long enough for a 6 foot stool to exit. And, considering the entire colon isn't even usually that long (about 5 ft in most people), and water absorption is occurring through the length of it, it's rather incredulous that anyone would have that large of a stool that was fully formed. Much of that would still be quite watery if expelled all at once.

Not to mention his toilet would NOT flush that at all.

[Moonbear]

A healthy well balanced diet will avoid six foot monster.

See, that's the hilarious thing about the product. Most of us would consider such a thing a horrendous sign of a diet gone very awry, yet in the infomercial for this product, that's lauded as a positive outcome of the product. He's trying to tell you there's something wrong with having anything less than a 6 foot stool!

[mgb_phys]

I was worried that mine was less than 6ft - but fortunately the next ad was for a big pickup being swung around on a centrifuge so I compensated by buing that instead!

[turbo-1]

:smile:

Turbo Cleanse™I'll have you know that my hot chili relishes and salsas are wonderful promoters of a healthy digestive system. They won't clean you out, though you may be able to time the progress of particularly spicy meals through your system with a little practice.:rofl:

[_Mayday_]

I was worried that mine was less than 6ft - but fortunately the next ad was for a big pickup being swung around on a centrifuge so I compensated by buing that instead!

:rofl: Oh my that was good!

[larkspur]

:smile:

Turbo Cleanse™
:rofl::rofl::rofl: Good one MIH!

[GeorginaS]

It sounds like it would clean the bathroom, clean your colon, and provide eternal salvation - all for one low price!

:rofl:

Okay, I hurt myself laughing at this.

[chroot]

Maybe uncontrollable belly laughter promotes frequent bowel movements, and thus the infomercial itself can help those suffering from stools under six feet in length.

And really, if man were meant to deliver six-foot porcelain monsters, one would think that the common toilet would have been made larger than 18 inches in diameter. If this man's product really worked, you'd have to re-fit your house with toilets the size of bathtubs. Just try to avoid falling in one of those, ladies, when your damned lazy husband leaves the seat up again.

- Warren

[turbo-1]

Just try to avoid falling in one of those, ladies, when your damned lazy husband leaves the seat up again.

- WarrenWe have a lady friend with a husband and a pack of little sons, and she made a point of asking everybody to leave the seat up! She said she'd rather put it down to use it than clean spatters off the seat.

[_Mayday_]

Hold on a second...I've just realized how absurd this is. I am not even 6 foot, so it would be like giving birth to something longer than me, and the length of your colon, which it is apparently "cleansing" is nothing like that. Do we really need to debunk this one?

[Poop-Loops]

Maybe uncontrollable belly laughter promotes frequent bowel movements, and thus the infomercial itself can help those suffering from stools under six feet in length.

And really, if man were meant to deliver six-foot porcelain monsters, one would think that the common toilet would have been made larger than 18 inches in diameter. If this man's product really worked, you'd have to re-fit your house with toilets the size of bathtubs. Just try to avoid falling in one of those, ladies, when your damned lazy husband leaves the seat up again.

- Warren

I can see this as an Olympic event.

Not just for length and girth, total mass, or whatever, but actual honest-to-God races, as to who can leave a trail of stool behind him. The 6-meter Stool Dash! Performance enhancement drugs, such as laxatives and muscle relaxants, are strictly prohibited.

[mgb_phys]

Performance enhancement drugs, such as laxatives and muscle relaxants, are strictly prohibited.
what about turbo's chile?

[Math Is Hard]

what about turbo's chile?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[turbo-1]

what about turbo's chile?I could use extra beans and really clean up in the competition. :rofl:

Well, someone would have to actually clean up, and I don't want to volunteer for that position. :yuck:

[DaveC426913]

Hold on a second...I've just realized how absurd this is. I am not even 6 foot, so it would be like giving birth to something longer than me, and the length of your colon...

Are all of you forgeting the principle of extrusion? It's just a matter of good muscle control - and a really robust O-ring...

[turbo-1]

Are all of you forgeting the principle of extrusion? It's just a matter of good muscle control - and a really robust O-ring...Yes! Extrusion would win out. Low density materials, high pressure, small orifice..... Dave are you planning to win this thing?

[Moonbear]

Maybe uncontrollable belly laughter promotes frequent bowel movements, and thus the infomercial itself can help those suffering from stools under six feet in length.

And really, if man were meant to deliver six-foot porcelain monsters, one would think that the common toilet would have been made larger than 18 inches in diameter. If this man's product really worked, you'd have to re-fit your house with toilets the size of bathtubs. Just try to avoid falling in one of those, ladies, when your damned lazy husband leaves the seat up again.

- Warren

:rofl: The guy in that infomercial just looks creepy too.

[Kurdt]

Would you be banned from competing if you had IBS?

[Greg Bernhardt]

Here is part of the informercial, enjoy!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fVD2feFaQ-Q

[Poop-Loops]

And when you win, people would throw Tums at you from the stands.

[Greg Bernhardt]

Another product similiar, looks just as scammy
http://www.greenteaoffer.com/default.aspx?adid=gtv1001

[Tsu]

Almight Cleanse - It's a bowel evacuant, a floor wax, AND a dessert topping!!!!!111

[turbo-1]

Almight Cleanse - It's a bowel evacuant, a floor wax, AND a dessert topping!!!!!111Ooh, it's the new and improved Shimmer-lax!

[hypatia]

Artemisia - Wormwood is very dangerious, even small quantities have been known to cause nervous disorders and convulsions.

[Tsu]

Ooh, it's the new and improved Shimmer-lax!

ExACTly!!! :biggrin: