Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer [Archive]

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr6-03, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted/asked by Manuel_Silvio

How could you ever think about it?

Cheeeese, My first interview, well, you see the idea first came to me one long and lonely night whilst I was sitting at my typewriter. The Coffee had been brewing for some time and the wind was most assuredly NOT howling at my door (it was summer after all) so it was the most experiantial thing that could have arisen, given the timing and the place, and the other variables that are, well, just too long to go in to tedious detail about, so if brief, the socks I was wearing, oooops, I wasn't wearing socks, thats right, the shoes were sandals and the pants joggers. In a T shirt was I dressed, and the long and the short of it is, well, to long to go into here, so I'll just give you the skinny, (the 'short of it' for all of you not involved in the 'skinny of things') (actually I was a little overweight at the time but...) it was likened unto something that I had not experianced before, so I decided to write it down, but that backfired when I, six months later, decided to re-read what I had written, and realized that it was un-intelligable to anyone other then myself, so I continued, until this very day, when I now tell you all this little story, (clearly well truncated, but just as clearly, easily, readable, and so direct, and to the point that it behooves you to respond to it) that was what happened when I had decided to tell you all about how I thought of it!

Clear enough?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr6-03, 03:38 PM

Well, the matter seems clear now. You've the right excuse for thinking so but then something is wrong here, let me see ...

If the wind was NOT howling at your door, where could it be howling then?

mouseman

Apr6-03, 08:43 PM

At your door.

If you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, how come you can't pick your friend's nose?

climbhi

Apr6-03, 09:49 PM

Who says you can't?

If you're friend had a cast on both his hands and couldn't pick his nose and asked you to do it for him, would you?

mouseman

Apr7-03, 01:48 AM

Only if he doesn't have cooties.

Asphinctersezwhat?

22-16

Apr7-03, 05:57 AM

snfansaofnqaqa.

Why do we use the internet when we can just use homing pigeons?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr7-03, 10:11 AM

For we hate AOL Times Warner monopoly on Multimedia MIME-enabled homing pigeons who've registered HPCP port 666 for their so-called well-known service breaking the rules stated in all hacker legends that date back to the time when no rules where set yet.

* HPCP -> Homing Pigeon Control Protocol, their so-called competitor to TCP which in fact runs on IP, lame!

Which came first, pigeon or pigeon egg?

J-Man

Apr7-03, 01:43 PM

Manuel_Silvio asked:
Which came first, pigeon or pigeon egg?
To get to the other side.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a chicken?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr7-03, 02:17 PM

As for light tulip bulbs the answer is 42. Assuming medium tulip bulbs will result in total confusion while heavy tulip bulbs have better prospect in changing a chicken if they're used in accordance to the accompanying manual. For optimal performance please use factory defaults, alternative/jazz/rock/pop/reggae settings are not guaranteed not to blow it all up.

What is the alternative?

Andy

Apr7-03, 03:09 PM

when considering chickens, you must remember to what extent do the tulip bulbs effect the average human being, and when thinking about this issue, do you a. get confused, b. get pissed off as you know how much more sense this makes than the last message, or c. need to reply in order to make you feel like u have accomplished something in your pittiful little unfortantly exsisting lifes! [8)]

Mentat

Apr7-03, 05:22 PM

Originally posted by Manuel_Silvio
As for light tulip bulbs the answer is 42. Assuming medium tulip bulbs will result in total confusion while heavy tulip bulbs have better prospect in changing a chicken if they're used in accordance to the accompanying manual. For optimal performance please use factory defaults, alternative/jazz/rock/pop/reggae settings are not guaranteed not to blow it all up.

What is the alternative?

There is no alternative, the answer to everything is 42.

Does this mean that 42-year-old should have all of the answers?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr7-03, 06:27 PM

Originally asked, appropriatley, by Mentat

Does this mean that 42-year-old should have all of the answers?

No, first you must reach 42, then you must surpass it, then, and only then, when regressing back to the age of your original enlightenment, about 5, will you even begin to realize that, NO!, you do not now, nor will you ever, have all of the answers, because, and only because, you will be missing one singular piece of information, and I will never-tell you that one,Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

What is the missing piece of information?

(A classically stupid question, cause only I can answer it!! {Re-insert string of Ha Ha's Here!} and as I said, I'll never tell, well maybe tomorrow, but....................)

J-Man

Apr8-03, 09:06 PM

Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
What is the missing piece of information?
That if the answer to everything, and what the actual question is (to everything) are both known at the same time, obviously, we will all be sucked into a great big ball of silly-string.

What do you get if you multiply six by nine?

Another God

Apr9-03, 04:20 AM

Originally posted by J-Man

What do you get if you multiply six by nine?
42.

How many paths must a man walk down?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr9-03, 05:31 AM

The answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind. In other words, this is a very good example of how pigs and politicians have the same beginning but end differently.

Everywhere there's lots of piggies living piggy lives, why should we live in these dummy boring piggy hives?

Another God

Apr9-03, 07:57 AM

because its a maze in here! Have you ever actually tried to get out???

How exactly does one 'excite' an electron?

BoulderHead

Apr9-03, 10:06 AM

How exactly does one 'excite' an electron?By telling it nasty stories about the nucleus. They get a real charge out of that…

Should a woman always be given what she wants?

Chemicalsuperfreak

Apr9-03, 11:44 AM

What is the plural of mongoose?

What does rhetorical mean?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr9-03, 12:04 PM

Originally asked by Chemicalsuperfreak

What does rhetorical mean?

Why didn't you bother asking, then I could have answered!

What was/is it that I would have answered?

J-Man

Apr9-03, 03:57 PM

Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
What was/is it that I would have answered?
Probably something to do with 42 sheep jumping in and out of a puddle of muddy slush.

Why did everyone ignore BoulderHead's question?

FZ+

Apr9-03, 05:00 PM

Because they are cowards! Cowards!

When is someone actually going to answer Boulderhead's question?

BoulderHead

Apr9-03, 05:16 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
Because they are cowards! Cowards!

When is someone actually going to answer Boulderhead's question? haha, I thought I had become invisible for a while.

Someone take a chance and answer please. [:D]

...and watch the women descend upon us.

Mentat

Apr9-03, 05:22 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
Because they are cowards! Cowards!

When is someone actually going to answer Boulderhead's question?

Answer to Boulderhead's question:

Within reason (believe me, that is a very stupid answer (*hopes there are no women reading this*)).

Why were women every considered the "weaker vessel"?

BoulderHead

Apr9-03, 05:28 PM

Originally posted by Mentat
Answer to Boulderhead's question:

Within reason (believe me, that is a very stupid answer (*hopes there are no women reading this*)).

Why were women every considered the "weaker vessel"? Because we men were and are completely mistaken about nearly everything.
*ducks head down into shoulders and cuts eyes left and right.*

I think women are fantastical. Could they be the center of the Universe and what life is all about?

Mentat

Apr9-03, 05:33 PM

Originally posted by BoulderHead
Because we men were and are completely mistaken about nearly everything.
*ducks head down into shoulders and cuts eyes left and right.*

I think women are fantastical. Could they be the center of the Universe and what life is all about?

One "stupid quetion" at a time, boulderhead.

The stupid answer to your quetions are (in the order of there having been asked):

1) Yes.
2) Women.

FZ+

Apr9-03, 05:36 PM

Well, depends on how massive they are. If they are indeed of sufficient girth to act as a center for the universe, (as some studies suggest <insert disreputable science website here> ) then we would have no alternative but to accept that conclusion.

As this would logically cause a variety of relativistic effects, how does these connations manifest themselves?

BoulderHead

Apr9-03, 06:19 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
As this would logically cause a variety of relativistic effects, how does these connations manifest themselves? I'd be afraid to express it in polite society but surely the angle of the dangle would be equal to something...

Are perturbations from large asteroids a part of these computations?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr10-03, 03:44 AM

The largest known asteroid (ca. 932 km diameter) is Ceres, the goddess of agriculture, grain and the maternal love. Since it is maternal love it can't be focused on the audience who've long since left their motherly concerns. Viewed computationally, the effects are large enough to outweigh Europa's burning love and you know

"Hush now baby, baby don't you cry
Mama's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you
Mama won't let anyone dirty get through
Mama's gonna wait until you get in
Mama will always find out where you've been
Mama's gonna keep baby healthy and clean
Oh baby! Oh baby! Oh baby!
You'll always be baby to me"

Has anyone on PF seen Aphrodite's golden apples?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr10-03, 01:28 PM

Originally Asked by Manuel_Silvio

Has anyone on PF seen Aphrodite's golden apples?

No haven't seen them, but I suspect that that is what we were all fed at the soup kitchen, sometime last week.

If Xazen (Zah-zen) means 'beyond zen', and my e-mail address is Xazen13, does your fear of e-mailing me make you Xazen13aphobic?

Mentat

Apr10-03, 01:35 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
No haven't seen them, but I suspect that that is what we were all fed at the soup kitchen, sometime last week.

If Xazen (Zah-zen) means 'beyond zen', and my e-mail address is Xazen13, does your fear of e-mailing me make you Xazen13aphobic?

Of course it does, what kind of a stuid quetion was that?
(In point of fact, a phobia is an unbased fear, but that would be the smart answer...)

How many different kinds of stupid quetion are there?

Ben-CS

Apr10-03, 01:50 PM

Negative three.

Where do cowboys in Texas buy the cell-phones that they all seem to be carrying?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr10-03, 01:55 PM

At their local Texas-Cowboy-suitable-cell-phone-seller-o-matic.

How could Zeus love both Europa and Ganymede?

BoulderHead

Apr10-03, 02:11 PM

Originally posted by Manuel_Silvio
At their local Texas-Cowboy-suitable-cell-phone-seller-o-matic.

How could Zeus love both Europa and Ganymede? One at a time.

Which size floppy do you prefer to have; the 3.5 or the 5.25?

Ben-CS

Apr10-03, 02:19 PM

The 3.5 will fit into either slot...

Will the next-smaller floppy be a 1.75 or a 2+1/3?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr10-03, 02:40 PM

Neither. First we had 5 + 1/4 and then 3 + 1/2 so the next must be either 1 + 1/1 which makes 2 that will surely fit in all slots.

Are we going wild rude?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr10-03, 04:45 PM

Originally Asked by Manuel_Silvio

Are we going wild rude?

Tarnation, By Golly, heck, and wildfire, jumping Ge-hos-efats, gosh, darn, jeeeeepers, YES!!

When you curse, do you become cursed?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr11-03, 09:49 AM

Depends on whom you curse, usually curses find their way along with philosophical statements. If that isn't the case, you'll go curved instead of cursed.

Why did the thread lose its audience for the past 48 hours?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr11-03, 12:26 PM

Originally asked by Manuel_Silvio

Why did the thread lose its audience for the past 48 hours?

Becasue the stupid quentions were soooooo stupid, that no one, and I mean NO ONE, could come up with anything, even seemingly close, to a stuuuuupid responce, or the answer is 42! (I not all that certain, heh heh heh hee!)

If you fear fear, are you not a Phobiaphobic?

Ben-CS

Apr11-03, 02:39 PM

No, you would be a phobophobic.

What do alligator tears taste like?

vacuum

Apr11-03, 05:20 PM

Let me try, ... Aaarghhh!!!

Why does the wolf slaughter all the sheep in the barn, when he could be satiated with only one?

BoulderHead

Apr11-03, 06:02 PM

Originally posted by vacuum
Let me try, ... Aaarghhh!!!

Why does the wolf slaughter all the sheep in the barn, when he could be satiated with only one? He may be driven by instinct to never pass up an opportunity.

Why is there a ‘re’ in refrigerator, does it get things cold more than once or something?

FZ+

Apr11-03, 06:34 PM

It's a philosophical comment on the cyclic nature of spacetime, duh.

What is the point of the saying "wolf in sheep's clothing", considering that neither wolves nor sheep wear any clothing?

Mentat

Apr11-03, 09:25 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
It's a philosophical comment on the cyclic nature of spacetime, duh.

What is the point of the saying "wolf in sheep's clothing", considering that neither wolves nor sheep wear any clothing?

I know it has something to do with mama wolves' making sweaters for their pups...

What does it really mean to "cry wolf"?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr12-03, 05:40 AM

According to the latest version conspiracy theory, that's a way a to get hold of somewhere you don't belong.

Why do wolves come in herds?

FZ+

Apr12-03, 07:13 AM

Become they most certainly do not come in peace.

Why do sci-fi aliens never say hello, only "we come in peace" or "DIE DIE DIE"?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr12-03, 08:16 AM

For the one decipherable SETI@home message for them was some politician (don't know who) shouting "we come in peace, otherwise, DIE DIE DIE" at some poor microphone.

Why do Sci-Fi aliens use glittering means of transport instead of a decent Mercedes Benz A-Class?

vacuum

Apr12-03, 09:44 AM

Originally posted by Manuel_Silvio
For the one decipherable SETI@home message for them was some politician (don't know who) shouting "we come in peace, otherwise, DIE DIE DIE" at some poor microphone.

Why do Sci-Fi aliens use glittering means of transport instead of a decent Mercedes Benz A-Class?

What a stoopid question; On their planet(s) there where no living things willing to sediment in order achieve higher purpouse - to fuel the good ol' Merz.

Why can't I think of any stupid question?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr12-03, 10:35 AM

Originally asked by vacuum

Why can't I think of any stupid question?

Because that is not what we are looking for, we want stuuuuuuupid Quetions, from intelligent people, because this is the most intelligent form of stupidity that we can all possibly EI vent in.

Or, you forgot that the answer would be 42, cause it is!

Is this really the most intelligent form of stupidity that we can all indulge in?

Mentat

Apr12-03, 12:45 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Because that is not what we are looking for, we want stuuuuuuupid Quetions, from intelligent people, because this is the most intelligent form of stupidity that we can all possibly EI vent in.

Or, you forgot that the answer would be 42, cause it is!

Is this really the most intelligent form of stupidity that we can all indulge in?

halabulasoobidowa?

How do you rate the stupidity of any given comment?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr12-03, 01:06 PM

Origianlly asked by Mentat

How do you rate the stupidity of any given comment?

We use the scalar version of the stupidity ratings scale that is an indicator of the reversed & inverted function of the intellectual duality that monitors the irrelevance of the manner of postulation the is encompassed in the prepetrators pre-pondered pre-ponderance for the imperically derived limitations upon the subsequential quotiant that is a gradient of the factors at play in the determining to the scales limited ends point that are only, most certainly only found by this method, as all other methods have clearly been proven conclusively to have failed at measureing anything other then obfuscated irrational fears that have been photographically feared from the presentation of the immediate responce.

Get it?

Mentat

Apr12-03, 01:19 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
We use the scalar version of the stupidity ratings scale that is an indicator of the reversed & inverted function of the intellectual duality that monitors the irrelevance of the manner of postulation the is encompassed in the prepetrators pre-pondered pre-ponderance for the imperically derived limitations upon the subsequential quotiant that is a gradient of the factors at play in the determining to the scales limited ends point that are only, most certainly only found by this method, as all other methods have clearly been proven conclusively to have failed at measureing anything other then obfuscated irrational fears that have been photographically feared from the presentation of the immediate responce.

Get it?

By jove, I think he's got it!

Why does Porky Pig stutter?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr12-03, 03:10 PM

Origianlly asked by Mentat

Why does Porky Pig stutter?

K'K'K'K'K'K'K'K'K'K'K'K'Uz, he l'l'earned it f'f'f'from his mud'd'd'd'd'd'der!'!'!'!'!'''''''

If x plus Y are = to Z, then why isn't the answer 42?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr13-03, 12:00 PM

x plus y equals z, /ix ples why eekwalz zee/
that makes a nice 43. /thaat maiksss a naice forti three/

If 43 succeeds 42, shouldn't it be considered closer to an answer to the life, universe and everything?

FZ+

Apr13-03, 03:45 PM

Nope, since the centre of the number sequence is 42. Hence it is scientifically shown that since 43 is further from 42 than 42, it is in fact less of the truth.

Why must we not mention the war to the Germans?

Mentat

Apr13-03, 05:19 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
Nope, since the centre of the number sequence is 42. Hence it is scientifically shown that since 43 is further from 42 than 42, it is in fact less of the truth.

Why must we not mention the war to the Germans?

42 (please don't let this become the answer to all of the quetions, just because it's supposed to be the answer to everything).

How many of me are there in the universe?

Another God

Apr13-03, 05:57 PM

Originally posted by Mentat
How many of me are there in the universe?
6. There were 42, but 9 of you were killed in the great elephant collapse of 67.

What is the meaning of purple?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr13-03, 06:34 PM

Originally asked by (insert booming and thunderous voice *HERE*) Another God

What is the meaning of purple?

It means a grape many things, unlike orange which has no meaning at all, so in knowing what purple means, we look at the royalty of the nature of the purple.

Ooooooops, my mom just called, back later to finish the explanation....but, naturally, we leave you with a quention....

How many Times does it take??

C Y'a

Ben-CS

Apr14-03, 09:22 AM

At least one: it = i * t

Et tu?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr14-03, 09:33 AM

Etiam, Caesar!

Why was the sayer such a brute?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr14-03, 11:43 AM

Originally asked by Manuel Silvio

Why was the sayer such a brute?

Because he represented the 'Brut(in)us' factor, "Long live the King" (So long as his actions remain Sane!)

Tomorrow is the "Ides of April, does that mean a-n-y-thing?

climbhi

Apr14-03, 05:10 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Because he represented the 'Brut(in)us' factor, "Long live the King" (So long as his actions remain Sane!)

Tomorrow is the "Ides of April, does that mean a-n-y-thing?

Means you better watch you're back when you come around these forums.

Where exactly does the word Ides come from?

FZ+

Apr14-03, 08:01 PM

Stupid misspelling of Ideas, obviously.

Is there a moore's law for pornography?

BoulderHead

Apr14-03, 08:07 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
Stupid misspelling of Ideas, obviously.

Is there a moore's law for pornography? I'm thinking Moore's Law can't keep up with all that. [:D]

Does porn cause men to view women as objects or does it only help cement pre-existing beliefs?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr15-03, 11:41 AM

Originally Asked by BoulderHead

Does porn cause men to view women as objects or does it only help cement pre-existing beliefs?

It helps them cement the object they truly view (the page) to-get-her.

Is there such a thing as a Bolder Boulder??

J-Man

Apr15-03, 03:02 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is there such a thing as a Bolder Boulder??
Boulder.
I think not, but then again I think oranges look green.

What is the probability that I will post after Mr. Robin Parsons for like the 20th time in a row in this thread?

Ben-CS

Apr15-03, 03:11 PM

{ψ: ψ ∈ [0, 1]}

Shouldn't that have been obvious?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr15-03, 03:40 PM

No, not as obvious as {r/r | r a non-zero real number}.

If we show arbitrary natural numbers with n, arbitrary real numbers with r, then why don't we show arbitrary whole numbers with z?

Another God

Apr16-03, 10:54 AM

Fascist!

But seriously, what does that have to do with the cost of pilchards in phuket?

BoulderHead

Apr16-03, 11:20 AM

Originally posted by Another God
Fascist!

But seriously, what does that have to do with the cost of pilchards in phuket? Both can be hard to swallow whole.

Is 'a near miss' the same thing as 'a near hit'?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr16-03, 12:37 PM

Originally asked by Boulderhead

Is 'a near miss' the same thing as 'a near hit'?

Nearly!

If time passes, then where does it go?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr16-03, 12:42 PM

Time usually vapors at 25' C but the surface evaporation is always present except at 0' K. Evaporated time will in time turn into clouds and then a time shower somewhere.

Do you think you have a chance to get by on this?

BoulderHead

Apr16-03, 01:13 PM

Originally posted by Manuel_Silvio
Do you think you have a chance to get by on this? Given enough time, yes.

What is the difference between saying 'please' and saying 'pretty please'?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr16-03, 01:52 PM

Both are used at restaurants. You say "please" when you're hungering for a meal. You say "pretty please" when you're hungering for a pretty face around you. Despite this difference, "please" and "pretty please" both can be categorized as hungering for what it pleases.

Pleasure, does it really please you?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr16-03, 02:18 PM

Originally asked by Manuel Silvio

Pleasure, does it really please you?

Pleasingly Pleasure Presently Pleasures, Partially Paid Per Post/Per-diem, (pleasingly passed) Part Pertaining Pleasures Per Persons Per Passing Par, (Partially) Plus, Pleasantly Pointed Postures Praise Pleasure Pleasantly/Presently, Pushing Pleasure Personally, Presently, Past Prime!

Pleased?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr16-03, 02:51 PM

Oooooooooooh, deep down to the viscera!

How does pleasure find its way into our bodies?

Mentat

Apr16-03, 02:54 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Pleasingly Pleasure Presently Pleasures, Partially Paid Per Post/Per-diem, (pleasingly passed) Part Pertaining Pleasures Per Persons Per Passing Par, (Partially) Plus, Pleasantly Pointed Postures Praise Pleasure Pleasantly/Presently, Pushing Pleasure Personally, Presently, Past Prime!

Pleased?

Presently.

Do I exist?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr16-03, 04:42 PM

Originally asked by Mentat

Do I exist?

Depends upon what your definition of exISt "is"!!

If you spend your time, "Running around" what have you circled?

FZ+

Apr16-03, 08:22 PM

The word "insane" in your next national consensus survey form.

Now where did THAT come from?

zk4586

Apr16-03, 08:24 PM

Let's say a priest, a rabbi, and Richard Nixon walk into a bar....wait, I forgot where I was going with this. Anyway, if you carpet the entire state of Florida, how long would it take the Harlem Globetrotters to vacuum it?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr16-03, 08:31 PM

Originally posted by FZ+

Now where did THAT come from?

Uhmm, the dictionary, an english one, I think!

Why didn't zk4586 answer the quention before asking his quention??

(Eh, eh, lets see ya answer that one, eh!!?? a reeeeeal toughee!!)

zk4586

Apr16-03, 09:20 PM

Why didn't zk4586 answer the quention before asking his quention??

we posted that at about the same time, so I didn't see it until I already posted. I think that counts as a stupid question for you [:))]. Does this mean I have to ask another stupid question? How about this: How many stupid questions would a stupid question guy ask if a stupid question guy could ask questions?

Manuel_Silvio

Apr17-03, 04:35 AM

Not as many stupid questions as a non-stupid (that's sorta beast) one could ask.

What will happen when you run out of stupid questions?

Ben-CS

Apr17-03, 01:43 PM

When you run out of stupid quetions and stupid ansers, you will be thoroughly stuped.

What kind of bread does traffic jam go good with?

climbhi

Apr17-03, 04:53 PM

Originally posted by Ben-CS
When you run out of stupid quetions and stupid ansers, you will be thoroughly stuped.

What kind of bread does traffic jam go good with?

Probably stale bread.

Do you think that if when cars were first starting to come out the public officials of the time had chosen not to make nice smooth roads for them to drive on but rather chose to invest in research to make very rugged all terain vehicles so that the could go anywhere they wanted and not have to worry about roads, would we still have traffic jams.

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr17-03, 05:05 PM

Originally posted by Climbhi

Do you think that if when cars were first starting to come out the public officials of the time had chosen not to make nice smooth roads for them to drive on but rather chose to invest in research to make very rugged all terain vehicles so that the could go anywhere they wanted and not have to worry about roads, would we still have traffic jams.

YES!

(Invest in 'suspension'{SHOCK!) shops)

Is'nt it the manner of knowing that it is a quention, by the indication of a quention mark.

Somewhere.

climbhi

Apr17-03, 05:09 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
YES!

(Invest in 'suspension'{SHOCK!) shops)

Is'nt it the manner of knowing that it is a quention, by the indication of a quention mark.

Somewhere.

Well yes.

Does Parson's look like an idiot criticizing my bad grammer for not using a question mark when he in fact blatantly misused his apostrophe when he spelled "is'nt?" (note the question mark properly placed inside the quotation marks. suck on that for good grammer!)

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr17-03, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by Climbhi
Does Parson's look like an idiot criticizing my bad grammer for not using a question mark when he in fact blatantly misused his apostrophe when he spelled "is'nt?" (note the question mark properly placed inside the quotation marks. suck on that for good grammer!)

YES!

I had a dream?

climbhi

Apr17-03, 05:15 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
YES!

I had a dream?

Really?!

What was it about?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr17-03, 05:19 PM

Originally poste by climbhi

What was it about?

Dreaming!

Is this an interview?

climbhi

Apr17-03, 05:31 PM

No your just dreaming that it is.

Who conducted the first interview ever?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr18-03, 11:25 AM

Originally asked by climbhi

Who conducted the first interview ever?

The first "interviewer", who else!

Was that my first interview?

(I've used that line before, more then once, I might add, and add, and add..........)

Mentat

Apr18-03, 01:21 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
The first "interviewer", who else!

Was that my first interview?

(I've used that line before, more then once, I might add, and add, and add..........)

No, 'cause climbhi aint the first interviewer. He can't give no "first interviews".

What's the point of using double negatives, like "aint no"?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr18-03, 02:23 PM

Originally asked by Mentat

What's the point of using double negatives, like "aint no"?

It allows a negative, to be negated, which entails the permitting of the cancelation of the redundancy that is the manner of attempting to negatively state a postitive, in a negative manner, that is negated, as to be postive in it's result!

Does a "double postive" (Is is) result in a negation?

EDIT'TING; Schpeeeelint washct ewreong, sore ta, oooooops, AKA TY'PO

Mentat

Apr18-03, 02:33 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
[B]It allows a negative, to be negated, which entails the permitting of the cancelation of the redundancy that is the manner of attempting to negatively state a postitive, in a negative manner, that is negated, as to be postive in it's result!

Does a "double postive" (Is is) result in a negation?

No, it results in a stutter.

Why didn't Wile E. Coyote just give up on the Road Runner, after facing death so many times?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr18-03, 03:10 PM

Originally asked by Mentat

Why didn't Wile E. Coyote just give up on the Road Runner, after facing death so many times?

Because he hasn't died yet!
Because road runners are the tastiest of all coyote meals!
Because He is a genius, and geniuses never quit!
Because he he destined to do it!
Because he is Staaaaaaaarrrrrrr'ving for roadrunner MEAT!
Because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because!

That's why!

Why, when the "Earth moves", doesn't it?

Mentat

Apr19-03, 10:07 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Because he hasn't died yet!
Because road runners are the tastiest of all coyote meals!
Because He is a genius, and geniuses never quit!
Because he he destined to do it!
Because he is Staaaaaaaarrrrrrr'ving for roadrunner MEAT!
Because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because!

That's why!

Why, when the "Earth moves", doesn't it?

That there feller, Einsteen, with his Relertivity theory, is sayin' that nothin' moves anyway, ain't he?

Why hasn't science explained everything yet?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr20-03, 12:04 PM

Originally posted by Mentat

Why hasn't science explained everything yet?

But they have, they just don't know that yet!, cause no ones explained/told them that! (yet)

When DNA splits, does it become D'n A? (or AND?)

Mentat

Apr21-03, 02:12 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
But they have, they just don't know that yet!, cause no ones explained/told them that! (yet)

When DNA splits, does it become D'n A? (or AND?)

Yep, it definitely becomes two strands of AND.

Why aren't people posting many stupid quetions anymore?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr21-03, 06:37 PM

Originally asked by Mentat

Why aren't people posting many stupid quetions anymore?

Oh! That's because this is the NON humor time of year, season of seriousness for everyone, (Except Extreme Intellectuals of course!) having to do with the Sun having crossed the equator, and the rising tides, on the week during easter, have this peculiar quantum affectation upon the Lobulus Humorosia in the cranial anatomy with the resultant depletion in Humorosiac nerotransmitters to the point that all 'regular' intellect people (Sorry bout that, you know who you are!) suffering something, akin to a 'spring fever', that precludes the emission of anything even remotely funny, for about a couple of days, or until the moons rotates one third of it's monthly circle while the dust is settling.

Is it because 7-8-9, that 6 was actually afraid of 7?
(a septophobic?, no, numerophobic?, no, a triskadecaphobic minus a sextaphobic, no, wait, I didn't go yet, I have to ask a quention? what quention? where is that quention? here?, no there?, no wait? I'll get it?, ugh!?)

Ben-CS

Apr22-03, 11:21 AM

Basically, Yes.

Squid pro quon?

Mentat

Apr22-03, 02:14 PM

Originally posted by Ben-CS
Basically, Yes.

Squid pro quon?

Saywho de wuttin?

Why do mathematicians use greek letters?

Ben-CS

Apr22-03, 02:47 PM

They ran out of Roman letters. They ran out of Greek letters, too. They have incorporated Old English/Germanic, Russian, and Middle Eastern letters. They just made up a lot of their symbols.

How long before scientists will start using Oriental symbols?

Mentat

Apr22-03, 03:03 PM

Originally posted by Ben-CS
They ran out of Roman letters. They ran out of Greek letters, too. They have incorporated Old English/Germanic, Russian, and Middle Eastern letters. They just made up a lot of their symbols.

How long before scientists will start using Oriental symbols?

42 years, 42 weeks, 42 minutes, and 42 seconds from now.

Why can't one change the past? (Stupid quetion taken from Alexander Hartegen, of Time Machine - good movie, btw).

FZ+

Apr22-03, 04:18 PM

Because history + science = unstable explosive mixture.

What is the chemical reason for that?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr22-03, 04:23 PM

Originally asked by Mentat

Why can't one change the past?

Because it is 42 years, 42 weeks, 42 minutes, and 42 seconds to late!

If when you were about to flatulate, you change course, direction, and speed, and eruct, (No-sp?) does that mean that what you have now done is to flatu-early?? HUH??

Mentat

Apr22-03, 04:25 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
Because history + science = unstable explosive mixture.

What is the chemical reason for that?

Flatu-earliness. (See Mr. Robin Parson's [stupid] answer).

If flatulate can be taken apart thus, then what does it mean to "flatu"?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr22-03, 04:48 PM

Originally posted by Mentat

If flatulate can be taken apart thus, then what does it mean to "flatu"?

GAS!

(I'm amazed, someone got there answer in while I was typing mine, YOWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)

If you could catch "Time in a bottle", what time would it be??

climbhi

Apr22-03, 05:09 PM

It would be a really good time to get drunk.

If you were drunk from drinking time and driving at the same time and were pulled over would you still get a ticket?

Mentat

Apr22-03, 08:12 PM

Originally posted by climbhi
It would be a really good time to get drunk.

If you were drunk from drinking time and driving at the same time and were pulled over would you still get a ticket?

Depends on what time you were drinking.

Why is alcohol so commonly related to bad driving?

climbhi

Apr22-03, 08:23 PM

Originally posted by Mentat
Depends on what time you were drinking.

Why is alcohol so commonly related to bad driving?

For the same reason bad driving is so commonly related to alcohol.

Why is alcohol so commonly related to beer?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr22-03, 08:30 PM

Originally asked by climbhi

Why is alcohol so commonly related to beer?

Because beer is commonly related to belching!

Why is belching so commonly related to drinking?

climbhi

Apr22-03, 08:46 PM

most people don't just swallow air on their own they need carbonated drink to help them get air down the wrong pipe.

what exactly makes for a good golf waggle?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr23-03, 07:13 AM

Originally asked by Climbhi

what exactly makes for a good golf waggle?

A really good crosswind, blowing up the dress!

If you really have an "Axe to Grind", must you first "Un-bury the hatchet"?

Mentat

Apr23-03, 04:09 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
A really good crosswind, blowing up the dress!

If you really have an "Axe to Grind", must you first "Un-bury the hatchet"?

If you don't like the hatchet where it is, I guess so.

I know about blueberries, and strawberries, but what is an "un-bury"?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr23-03, 05:24 PM

Originally asked by Mentat

I know about blueberries, and strawberries, but what is an "un-bury"?

the reversed opposite of the inversion of the overturned transpositon of the opposed imposition of flipping over the other side of the relationship of side's opposite to each else.......or it means "to dig it up". (one or the other)

I too, know about blueberries, and strawberries, but since neither is made with either 'blue', or 'straw', why in the world are the called that??

Mentat

Apr24-03, 02:40 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
the reversed opposite of the inversion of the overturned transpositon of the opposed imposition of flipping over the other side of the relationship of side's opposite to each else.......or it means "to dig it up". (one or the other)

I too, know about blueberries, and strawberries, but since neither is made with either 'blue', or 'straw', why in the world are the called that??

'Cause it sounds cooler than "tinyberry" and "berry of exposed seeds".

Why do we still call the Native Americans "Indians"?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr24-03, 02:53 PM

Originally asked by mentat

Why do we still call the Native Americans "Indians"?

Cause they all come from "Indiana"!

If the expression "All Hail the King" is used, while you are there, would you really begin to throw hail at him?

Ben-CS

Apr28-03, 09:13 AM

No, but I would sell it to those willing parties.

Is there any limit to venture capitalism?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr28-03, 07:28 PM

Originally asked by Ben-CS

Is there any limit to venture capitalism?

SON, Here at the BLUE Sky mine, we think that "The SKie's the Limit"
we know that there are "no end to markets", "no vison of destitution on any horizon", "all opportunites to fulfill our destinies, as the masters of the never/ending cyclic nature of finance, will be sought after by "The Achiever's" son, are you an Achiever Sun?

Cristi

Apr29-03, 11:22 AM

How come I'm your father, but you're not my son?

Mentat

Apr29-03, 01:52 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
SON, Here at the BLUE Sky mine, we think that "The SKie's the Limit"
we know that there are "no end to markets", "no vison of destitution on any horizon", "all opportunites to fulfill our destinies, as the masters of the never/ending cyclic nature of finance, will be sought after by "The Achiever's" son, are you an Achiever Sun?

Were you gonna post a quetion?

climbhi

Apr29-03, 09:02 PM

Originally posted by Mentat
Were you gonna post a quetion?

He did, I believe it was "are you an achiever sun?"

Well, so are you?

Moetasim

Apr30-03, 06:29 AM

Whats your name?

Another God

Apr30-03, 07:24 AM

Well, I think that question wins. All this time we have been waiting for the Jehova question, the stupid question to answer all stupid questions... and there it is. Wow huh?

Do you think he missed a page or 2 or 60 from the rest of this thread???

Mr. Robin Parsons

Apr30-03, 08:28 AM

Originally posted by Another God

Do you think he missed a page or 2 or 60 from the rest of this thread???

Nope, it's because he's not a lawyer, cause we all know it's only the lawyers who read all of the rules!

How long will it take for this thread to reach a Gigglebyte?

Ben-CS

Apr30-03, 09:04 AM

A jeer and a laugh.

If a bear falls on a ranger in the middle of an urban jungle, will they make a scene?

Mentat

Apr30-03, 01:07 PM

Originally posted by Ben-CS
A jeer and a laugh.

If a bear falls on a ranger in the middle of an urban jungle, will they make a scene?

Nah. Other people might make a scene, but the bear would have to be dead, and so would the ranger.

If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, and no one is there to hear it...what's the speed of light?

J-Man

Apr30-03, 01:43 PM

Mentat asked:
If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, and no one is there to hear it...what's the speed of light?

About half the speed of heavy.

How can I get free beer?

Mentat

Apr30-03, 01:54 PM

Originally posted by J-Man
About half the speed of heavy.

How can I get free beer?

How should I know? I can't even get it if I pay!

Why is there a law about how old you have to be to drink alcohol?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May1-03, 08:56 AM

Originally asked by Mentat

Why is there a law about how old you have to be to drink alcohol?

Because you need be old enough to know how to write/type, when you can't see straight.

Has anyone seen my Flashlight?

bogdan

May1-03, 09:04 AM

I'm a girl...
(the answer to "How come I'm your father, but your not my son ?", posted by Cristi)

Mr. Robin Parsons

May1-03, 09:24 AM

Originally posted by bogdan
I'm a girl...
(the answer to "How come I'm your father, but your not my son ?", posted by Cristi)

COOL, but I suspect you have the wrong thread /perhaps/ you should read some of the first 'several' postings. in this thread, to know what is going on, so you too can participate, and have fun. (Looking for the Gigglebyte Beast)

How is it that I have two Dad's?

bogdan

May1-03, 10:52 AM

Your mom is a hippo...stupid enough ?[6)]

Another God

May1-03, 11:05 AM

Stupid enough. Not question enough. The second bit was though.

Got it?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May1-03, 12:15 PM

Originally asked by A-No-There God

Got it?

Yes, 42 of them actually!

How big is 42 "Its"?

Mentat

May1-03, 12:29 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Yes, 42 of them actually!

How big is 42 "Its"?

Infinite, duh.

What is the driving force behind laziness?

bogdan

May1-03, 01:26 PM

A drunken one...or 42...
Why insert an ordered list into your message ?

This is cool...heaheahea...
Yeah...cool...huhuhu...(slap)
Ough...where did my neuron go ?...hehehehe...
Am I stupid or not ? This is the question...or not ?[?]

Ben-CS

May1-03, 05:52 PM

Alignment. There. Yes. No.

What makes the ski blur?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May1-03, 06:50 PM

Originally Asked by Ben-CS

What makes the 'ski' blur?

BEER!

What makes the Sky blurry?

Ben-CS

May1-03, 06:56 PM

MORE beer...and a couple of antacids.

Qui a coupé le fromage?

climbhi

May1-03, 07:00 PM

probably not

did I make myself sound stupid by answering a question which was posed in a language I can't read?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May1-03, 07:05 PM

Originally asked by climbhi

did I make myself sound stupid by answering a question which was posed in a language I can't read?

Probably not, because cest moi....coupé le fromage!

Tell me, do I smell now? (or later?)

EDIT é hee hee

Mentat

May2-03, 01:51 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Probably not, because cest moi....coupé le fromage!

Tell me, do I smell now? (or later?)

EDIT é hee hee

Probably all your life.

Where is God?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May2-03, 05:30 PM

Originally posted by Mentat
Probably all your life.

Where is God?

Hiding (?) 'in-side' of you, too!!

Is Bill Gates really the guy who hands you the 'Bill' while working your 'Gates'? (Switch) is Bill Gates the one who passed the 'Bill' that costs you, at the 'Gate'? (Switch) is Bill Gates really the one who 'gated' the passage of the 'Bill'? (Switch) ....Off!?

Zargawee

May3-03, 06:49 AM

What would you do if what has to be done is something nobody did ever done becuase it's hard to be done but possible to be done but never been done ? do you do it or do you try not to do it , or you just don't do it ?
so , what to do ?

bogdan

May3-03, 12:32 PM

just do it...and shut up...[s(]
[8)] [:D]

Mr. Robin Parsons

May4-03, 03:24 PM

Originally posted by bogdan
just do it...and shut up...[s(]
[8)] [:D]

Well, I think that the answer is "Yes", but I had been leaning towards "No actually, but, maybe, if I think about it, longer, I can come up with something else, ya know, like a 'third alternative', or something like that, so hang on to it, (real tight!) and I'll get back to you, on that, "quetion", real soon, ok?

If you tell someone that you are going to "Fix there clock", do you?

Mentat

May5-03, 12:37 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Well, I think that the answer is "Yes", but I had been leaning towards "No actually, but, maybe, if I think about it, longer, I can come up with something else, ya know, like a 'third alternative', or something like that, so hang on to it, (real tight!) and I'll get back to you, on that, "quetion", real soon, ok?

If you tell someone that you are going to "Fix there clock", do you?

Depends on what time it is. [;)]

But how can you know that, if there clock's not fixed yet?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May5-03, 04:50 PM

Originally asked by mentat

But how can you know that, if there clock's not fixed yet?

Dial up the Sun, cause he/she/it always knows what time it really is!
(Especially those Achiever Sun's!)

What time is it then?

EDIT a / in the [b] switch

Mentat

May8-03, 02:02 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
[B]Dial up the Sun, cause he/she/it always knows what time it really is!
(Especially those Achiever Sun's!)

What time is it then?

42:00

Why are guys so often stereotyped as the "butt-pickers", when as many females as males do this?

J-Man

May8-03, 02:41 PM

Mentat asked
Why are guys so often stereotyped as the "butt-pickers", when as many females as males do this?
In the great orchards of cigarette trees, the males have traditionally been the "butt-pickers", often picking 20 bushels or more of "butts" a day. But since the 1960's, the women's libers have demanded to pick butts for equal pay. The women now can pick up to 30 bushels of "butts" a day, and they get the same pay as the guys who pick 20 bushels.

Did I spell "bushels" correctly?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May8-03, 03:15 PM

Originally asked by J-Man

Did I spell "bushels" correctly?

Not really, I had heard it was "El Bush"!

Is Mr. Robin Parsons........

A) A retired Janitor?

B) A retarded Janitor?

C) Both of the above?

J-Man

May8-03, 05:25 PM

Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
Is Mr. Robin Parsons........

A) A retired Janitor?

B) A retarded Janitor?

C) Both of the above?
Hmmm, well, it can't be (A) because he has feet, not tires. It can't be (B) because he was never tarded the first time. So, by the process of elimination, the answer must be (C).

If you read a "self-help" book written by somebody else, isn't it "help" instead of "self-help"?

FZ+

May8-03, 05:55 PM

No, because all the help, in the form of your money, goes to the author.

Is education a zero-sum game?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May9-03, 09:34 AM

Originally asked by FZ+

Is education a zero-sum game?

Well yes, for 'sum', like myself, it amounts to nothing more then an "education", which you cannot use, as per the (insert politico's name...No, NOT george!) others, like that, who have a 'sum of zero' in their educations, as to ensure that in the totality of the additions of the Merits of Education, all of the exceedingly high scores, that a site like this one would generate, would be completley offset to 'sum to zero' as per the above persons name, and their contribution to the total. Thankfully, that person does NOT post here!

(HI Jean!)

If the ('Ohmbre) "Man from Nantuckett", went for "Fish in D'is Bucket", how many could/did he catch?

J-Man

May9-03, 05:25 PM

Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
If the ('Ohmbre) "Man from Nantuckett", went for "Fish in D'is Bucket", how many could/did he catch?
None, there's a hole in the Bucket dear Liza, dear Liza.

With what shall we fix it dear Henry, dear Henry?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May9-03, 06:21 PM

Originally asked by J-Man

With what shall we fix it dear Henry, dear Henry?

Henrys not here, so stepping up to the plate to replace dear Henry, the l'Ohmbre from Nantuckett

"We'll fix it with glue, that's what we'll do, and when it is fixed with glue, well, then we'll fix YOU too!"

If the "Skies the limit", haven't you missed the rest of the entire Universe?

Zargawee

May17-03, 01:24 PM

Stupid But Important Question : Why this topic died ?

MSI

May17-03, 04:25 PM

because....
to be alive again

why why?

LogicalAtheist

May17-03, 05:00 PM

why why?

Just because..

Question: Dude, what the hell is that????

J-Man

May18-03, 02:18 PM

LogicalAtheist asked:
Dude, what the hell is that????
I know what the hell that is. It's a... hmmm...
What the hell is that?

MSI

May18-03, 03:29 PM

well it is .... ohh i forgot

what was billgate thinking of when they finished win 95?

LogicalAtheist

May18-03, 04:24 PM

"I'm in the money! I'm in the money"

What is Bill Gates thinking this VERY second? List the time you're responding!

J-Man

May18-03, 04:35 PM

LogicalAtheist asked:
What is Bill Gates thinking this VERY second? List the time you're responding!
Do I want fries with that?
(current time is about 15:35:38 EST)

How could I possibly forget to ask a quetion?

MSI

May19-03, 11:20 AM

well ... you do ... but in that position you ..... so you .......and then you forget to put the question

what am i writing ?!!

Mr. Robin Parsons

May19-03, 01:11 PM

Originally posted by MSI

what am i writing ?!!

Nothing, your typing!

If you drink alcohol that is only 7%, does that mean you only get 7% drunk?

Mentat

May19-03, 01:40 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Nothing, your typing!

If you drink alcohol that is only 7%, does that mean you only get 7% drunk?

No, if you drink enough of any kind of beer, you'll get 42% drunk and collapse.

Why do people behave differently when they are drunk?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May19-03, 04:40 PM

Originally posted by Mentat

Why do people behave differently when they are drunk?

Because they experiance the anti-gravitational effects of Beer, hence wandering about as if it used no energy, running off at the mouth because of the reduction in friction, falling down because of the extra strength of there beer enhanced muscles, and floating because of all of the Beer gas inside of them.

When we "Extrapolate", does that really mean we are taking an
"Extra-po(ll)-later"??

J-Man

May20-03, 12:56 PM

Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
When we "Extrapolate", does that really mean we are taking an
"Extra-po(ll)-later"??
No, it means that the guy who used-to-be the Trapo ("Trapo" is slang for "Trapeze Artist") has not yet arrived. It always pisses off the circus manager.

Can I buy a vowel?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May20-03, 02:42 PM

Origianlly asked by J-Man

Can I buy a vowel?

Well, the price of a vowel, as I am sure you well know, has recently been subjected to fluctuations in the International global monetary marketplaces, hence it's value has become an exceedingly difficult assesment due to the logistics of the finacial arrangements required for such a vast transfer of funds as to ensure that it would be much simpler if you could replace the need of the said Vowel, with a constanant, elseif Yes, $0.42 (cents) please!

When Tom (not the one in these forums) Belched, did he mean to indicate "Yes!", or "No!"??

(A clue, it was a loud and sustained Belllllllllch)

Nicool003

May20-03, 05:58 PM

he meant snow

does the phrase "i thought i could almost think of thinking about almost thinking about having a thought"

make sense?

MSI

May20-03, 08:07 PM

i have a garden then i see birds

what is this "[g)]" doing?

J-Man

May21-03, 01:12 PM

MSI asked:
what is this "[g)]" doing?

That's the normal reaction when one realizes that, instead of the fresh cup of coffee, he just drank his denture cleaner. Nothing to worry about.
P.S. It's usually preceded by: [8)] and soon followed by: [*(]

Is it better to have a stereo with a volume control that goes to 10, a volume control that goes to 20, or should it just have as many lights as possible?

BoulderHead

May21-03, 01:20 PM

Originally posted by J-Man
Is it better to have a stereo with a volume control that goes to 10, a volume control that goes to 20, or should it just have as many lights as possible? My vote goes for having as many lights as possible, especially a really annoying great big bright one meant to remind the owner to TURN THAT CRAP DOWN ! [:D]

Should we pity those who turn their car stereos up so loud, without wearing hearing protection, and freely pitch in to buy them hearing aids at some point down the road?

J-Man

May21-03, 03:01 PM

BoulderHead asked:
Should we pity those who turn their car stereos up so loud, without wearing hearing protection, and freely pitch in to buy them hearing aids at some point down the road?

No, we should get them missles. The kind of missles that have flames coming out of the back end with a high velocity in the direction of the loud "music", (unless it's Zeppelin of course.) Either that or we should find a way of using all that audio energy to propel our vehicles... hey, if it can make my car bounce up and down 100 feet away, it should be able to make it bounce up and down and move forward.

How many feet per beat could your vehicle go if the propelling stereo has a really good sub-woofer?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May22-03, 12:09 PM

Originally asked by J-Man
How many feet per beat could your vehicle go if the propelling stereo has a really good sub-woofer?

Well seeing as the sonic volume per unit squared is in-equvalent to the tweeter subsets accoustic velocity, the number of feet per beat is co-relationally independant of the sub-woofer, as per the tweeter harmonic that fundamentally begats the requsite propulsive drive spacing as per the interactivety of the volume per unit of ear squared, hence we would find that the most basic calculation of Ft/beat needs to be functioned proportianately to the realtivity of the persons listening to the sound as that is inversely squared to the woofers tweetability.

So it probably works out to, about, 42 ! (unless it is Zeppelin, then is the exponent of that)

Is the true translation of the greek word anatomy, as an english word, An-Atom-in-me??

Mentat

May23-03, 04:28 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons

Is the true translation of the greek word anatomy, as an english word, An-Atom-in-me?? [/B]

Actually, it's not a Greek term at all, it was coined by some Italian kid. You see, his mother asked who broke the vase, and he said "a-not-a-me". [:D]

Why do clocks run clock-wise?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May24-03, 10:41 AM

Originally asked by Mentat

Why do clocks run clock-wise?

Because, the other way, is "clock-stupid"!

Is a Volcanic eruption the Earths way of signing it's "Nom du Plume"?

J-Man

May25-03, 01:03 PM

Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
Is a Volcanic eruption the Earths way of signing it's "Nom du Plume"?

No, it just has gas. Dropping a few Tums into the volcano should make it feel better.

If the Earth had no moon how would you tell if you were a werewolf?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May25-03, 01:28 PM

Originally asked by J-Man

If the Earth had no moon how would you tell if you were a werewolf?

Your canines would hurt everytme the sun set.

The hair on your body would grow constantly, at night.

Your fingernails would be claw like in the evenings.

Your urge to ululate would drive you batty.

And the need to lift a leg at trees would indicate your true canine (K-9) nature!

If a unicorn rides into your life, what do you do with it?

J-Man

May25-03, 02:20 PM

Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
If a unicorn rides into your life, what do you do with it?
Chop 'im up into unicorn burgers and have a cook-out.
mmmmmmm uniburgers....

If The Simpsons ever ends, (heaven forbid,) should FOX bother broadcasting anything?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May25-03, 03:00 PM

Origianlly asked by J-Man

If The Simpsons ever ends, (heaven forbid,) should FOX bother broadcasting anything?

You mean to tell me that they broadcast other shows now??, Huh?? you mean that there are other things on that network besides the Simpsons, Nah your not telling the truth, are ya, your making that up aren't ya!!!!

Will J-Man ever admit that he just made up the Idea that Fox network airs something, other then The Simpsons!!

J-Man

May25-03, 03:28 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Will J-Man ever admit that he just made up the Idea that Fox network airs something, other then The Simpsons!!
I don't think that I won't not never admit nothing.

Why does the double-negative in the phrase, "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch", not switch to a positive (i.e. "There is such a thing as a free lunch")?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May26-03, 12:24 PM

Origianlly asked by J-Man

Why does the double-negative in the phrase, "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch", not switch to a positive (i.e. "There is such a thing as a free lunch")?

Actually it does, all you need do is double negate your income, and you too can be a homeless person who enjoys(?) a free lunch(s).
(Signed; one who knows, nudge, nudge, wink, wink!!)

Since there is actually such a thing as a free lunch, why don't more people take avail/inhale of it??

EDIT for space(ing)

Mentat

May26-03, 05:02 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Since there is actually such a thing as a free lunch, why don't more people take avail/inhale of it??

While I see nothing wrong with taking inhale of it (whatever that means), I don't think you could fit a full lunch into "a vail".

Why do so many people think that Science is a religion?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May26-03, 06:42 PM

Originally asked by mentat

Why do so many people think that Science is a religion?

Because both of them act like they are God!

Why do both of them act like they are God(s)??

Mentat

May28-03, 06:11 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Because both of them act like they are God!

Why do both of them act like they are God(s)??

Forgive my digression from the question-answer chain but, what are you refering to, when you say "both of them"?

Mr. Robin Parsons

May30-03, 08:53 AM

Originally posted by Mentat
Forgive my digression from the question-answer chain but, what are you refering to, when you say "both of them"?

A commonality of humor, inasmuch as there is, in humanity, a 'common thread of thought' that goes both ways, (friendly and malicious) in seeing either of those entities, as acting, as if they were "Gods".

But I ascribe to the attempt at humor only, forgive the digression, (no harm done) and apologize for any misgivings/perceptions of malice.

But, (to contiue.....) am I truly sorry? (Sincere?)

EDIT SP?

J-Man

May30-03, 03:07 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
But, (to contiue.....) am I truly sorry? (Sincere?)
Of course not, don't be silly.
Well, okay, be silly, but be silly in a proactive, pragmatic, and 7 other big words, way.

Or should you be silly in a proactive, pragmatic, and 8 other big words way?

Mentat

May30-03, 03:22 PM

Originally posted by J-Man
Of course not, don't be silly.
Well, okay, be silly, but be silly in a proactive, pragmatic, and 7 other big words, way.

Or should you be silly in a proactive, pragmatic, and 8 other big words way?

Duh, is that a trick question?

Why doesn't the "Evil" Smilie work?

FZ+

May30-03, 04:46 PM

Because we don't want PF to be a member of the axis of evil...

Why are the good guys always "allied" or "coalition" and the bad guys always "axis"?

J-Man

May30-03, 06:02 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
Why are the good guys always "allied" or "coalition" and the bad guys always "axis"?
Because I said so; now finish your vegetables. Your Mother and I work our fingers to the bone so you can eat and grow up healthy, but do you appreciate it? No! You just sit there and ask stupid quetions.

Am I in the right thread?

MSI

May30-03, 06:41 PM

well thats depend on your definition of "right thread" ...
maybe you are in the left thread [:)]

was that phylosophy [?]

Mr. Robin Parsons

May30-03, 07:21 PM

Originally posted by MSI

was that phylosophy [?]

No. it's sly'o'sophistry!

If the "fabric" of space/time is a vacuum, how do you curve a vacuum??

Mentat

Jun1-03, 02:54 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
No. it's sly'o'sophistry!

If the "fabric" of space/time is a vacuum, how do you curve a vacuum??

I guess the dumbest thing one could do is scream the truth at you: SPACE IS NOT A VACUUM!

Do you know the origin of a rainbow? [;)]

cmdr_sponge

Jun1-03, 05:39 PM

thats easy it comes from a rainbow flower

can plants tell the time?

Hurkyl

Jun1-03, 05:45 PM

Depends, is it wearing a watch?

What time is it anyways?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun1-03, 06:45 PM

Originally asked by Hurkyl

What time is it?

Time to buy a watch! (Or, wear the one you have at home in your drawer, or, time to annoy another person with that question, or, time to mind your own business, or, time to get a life, or, time to stop asking what time is it, or, time for me to leave, or,.................)

Why do some people scream answers at you, when it never changes the accuracy/inaccuracy of the responce??

cmdr_sponge

Jun3-03, 03:28 PM

maybe you look deaf

why do stupid questions deserve stupid answers?

FZ+

Jun3-03, 04:19 PM

They don't. But life isn't fair.

What is fair?

Mentat

Jun3-03, 04:31 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
They don't. But life isn't fair.

What is fair?

Stop yelling at me!

If people speak of the "big inning" of time, do they mean to imply that there will be a "big outing" of time?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun3-03, 06:27 PM

Originally asked by Mentat

If people speak of the "big inning" of time, do they mean to imply that there will be a "big outing" of time?

No, just a Big Time!!

What is a Big Time?

Mentat

Jun4-03, 01:40 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
No, just a Big Time!!

What is a Big Time?

The opposite of a small time, duh!

Why is there a "b" at the end of "dumb"?

cmdr_sponge

Jun4-03, 04:37 PM

to confuse the ppl it applies to

why isnt phonetically spelt phonetically?

Mentat

Jun4-03, 05:07 PM

Originally posted by cmdr_sponge
to confuse the ppl it applies to

why isnt phonetically spelt phonetically?

It's demostrably paradoxical (a Wuliheron-ish answer). Or, because math says so (and Alexander-ish answer).

Why do people consider the heart to be the "seat of motivation"?

maximus

Jun4-03, 09:22 PM

Originally posted by Mentat
It's demostrably paradoxical (a Wuliheron-ish answer). Or, because math says so (and Alexander-ish answer).

Why do people consider the heart to be the "seat of motivation"?

well, what would you like to call it? the 'chair of motivation'?

where do babies come from?

Tom Mattson

Jun4-03, 10:45 PM

Originally posted by maximus
where do babies come from?

Just add water to baby powder.

Why can't you hear colors?

maximus

Jun4-03, 10:56 PM

Originally posted by Tom
Just add water to baby powder.

Why can't you hear colors?

for the exact same reason that you can't see sound!

why is hot water hot instead of cold?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun5-03, 10:17 AM

Originally askes by Maximus

why is hot water hot instead of cold?

Well, in the case Hot V Cold (#456 C SCUSA) the jury was apprised of the accusation of prejudice that arose from the hot water accusing the cold water of actually not being cold enough, the rebuttal from the hot water was to deride the reputation of the cold water is such a manner as to impose upon the 17th amendement rights, of said cold water, as to ensure that the allegation of the inferance of the "non temperate" nature of the water was to be examined by a physicist, an expert in the field of water temperature, so pending the outcome of the final assessment of the assay of the true state of the waters nature, this question cannot be stupidly responded to, aside from the legal implications, to this author, for the possibilities of breech of temporal trust in his blatant, and oh so public, display of disrespect towards such a thermal fluid issue.

Oooooops, this just in, it seems that a restraining order has been placed upon any further explaination of the jurisprudence that is being set, in this particularily contentious issue between hot water and cold water, hence, futher discourse upon siad matter will be met with the force of law as to ensure that all legalities are maintained to the fullest extent of the laws legal ability to extend the long arm of the law pertaining to said allegation of frigidity with respect to the heated matter, order # 398275647384595066003038075497-j-485756393 part; 'c' section, 42

Is that about the longest 'non responce' I could think of?

J-Man

Jun5-03, 02:43 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is that about the longest 'non responce' I could think of?
No, you just don't like typing too much.

How many nits could a nit-picker pick if a nit-picker could pick nits?

Mentat

Jun5-03, 03:41 PM

Originally posted by J-Man
No, you just don't like typing too much.

How many nits could a nit-picker pick if a nit-picker could pick nits?

As many nits as the nit-picker could pick, you nit-wit!

There are people who are "witty". And there are people who are "half-wits". But what about other fractions? What's a "quarter-wit", or a "third-wit".

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun5-03, 04:36 PM

Origianlly asked by Mentat

There are people who are "witty". And there are people who are "half-wits". But what about other fractions? What's a "quarter-wit", or a "third-wit".

Nope there are only 1/2 wits, the rest are witless!

If you are tuly "witless", does that preclude you from being a wit-ness?

Mentat

Jun5-03, 04:40 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Nope there are only 1/2 wits, the rest are witless!

If you are tuly "witless", does that preclude you from being a wit-ness?

Let me think about that for a while...
...
hmm...
uh...42!

How old is God?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun5-03, 04:49 PM

Originally asked by Mentat

How old is God?

About as old as a creator of a universe can be, thought of as, "to the Nth degree, and BeYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOND" !!

How far past the Nth degree can you go?

Mentat

Jun5-03, 04:52 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
About as old as a creator of a universe can be, thought of as, "to the Nth degree, and BeYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOND" !!

How far past the Nth degree can you go?

About NN.

Am I conscious?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun5-03, 04:56 PM

Originally posted by Mentat

Am I conscious?

Only if you are not consciously asking the question, cause a conscious person doesn't ask if they are conscious, only unconscious people ask if they are conscious.

Get it?

J-Man

Jun6-03, 01:03 PM

Originally asked by Mr. Robin Parsons
Get it?
No, Segways are overrated. And probably misspelled.

What would happen if we really gave peace a chance?

Mentat

Jun6-03, 03:35 PM

Originally posted by J-Man
No, Segways are overrated. And probably misspelled.

What would happen if we really gave peace a chance?

The very fabric of spacetime itself would destroy itself. Sudden, and utter, chaos would errupt. Nothing could ever exist again. All because humans defied their nature [;)].

What would happen if I traveled to the past and killed my grandfather, before he gave birth to my father?

FZ+

Jun6-03, 06:26 PM

A giant golden and divinely floating 42 would appear and smite thee most dreadfully.

What would happen if Alexander became a christian one day?

MSI

Jun7-03, 08:41 AM

that will be the end of the world

what is the most stuped question in this topic?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun7-03, 09:50 AM

Originally asked by MSI

what is the most stuped question in this topic?

The one that didn't ask a question, but rather, responded to the answer, that the question, didn't ask!

Is the reason that there is no word, in the English language, that rhymes with Orange, because none of the other words can reach a note in the O'range??

maximus

Jun8-03, 02:12 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons

Is the reason that there is no word, in the English language, that rhymes with Orange, because none of the other words can reach a note in the O'range??

maybe.

if beauty is in the eye of the beholder than why hasn't anyone thought of finding this "Beholder", scooping out his eyes, eating them, and thus become beautyful (or full-of-beauty)?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun8-03, 01:39 PM

Originallyposted by Maximus

if beauty is in the eye of the beholder than why hasn't anyone thought of finding this "Beholder", scooping out his eyes, eating them, and thus become beautyful (or full-of-beauty)?

Well since it is you who are/is the beholder, well, I wouldn't recommend that you try it, cause you won't be able to see outer beauty anymore, and I doubt that it will increase you ability to see inner beauty any better then with your eyes functioning properly.

Stay Beautiful, inside, and out!

The is a new theory out, "Massless Dark Matter" Do you think it will matter?

maximus

Jun8-03, 01:56 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons

The is a new theory out, "Massless Dark Matter" Do you think it will matter?

not massivly...

if someone touched your godhead, how would it feel?

Mentat

Jun8-03, 10:24 PM

Originally posted by maximus
not massivly...

if someone touched your godhead, how would it feel?

Uh, ain't that a little private to be talking about on the PFs? (Pun intended.)[6)]

Does anything rhyme with purple?

maximus

Jun8-03, 10:30 PM

Originally posted by Mentat

Does anything rhyme with purple?

Murple!

if you were a nun, could you ever make a pun?

Mentat

Jun8-03, 10:34 PM

Originally posted by maximus
Murple!

if you were a nun, could you ever make a pun?

Son, it should be pretty fun to see a nun make a pun, but there are none, who'd make a pun, under the sun.

Is this statment false?

maximus

Jun8-03, 10:45 PM

Originally posted by Mentat
Son, it should be pretty fun to see a nun make a pun, but there are none, who'd make a pun, under the sun.

Is this statment false?

well, first off, i am not your son. secondly, it would not be fun. also, there are many nuns who i'm sure would love to make a pun, but for the love of god, not under the sun! they'de melt!

have you ever noticed that the first letter of every second letter in the third letter of everyones first name is actually the ninth letter of the the second alphabet, and is always divisable by three?

Cummings

Jun9-03, 06:45 AM

Originally posted by maximus
well, first off, i am not your son. secondly, it would not be fun. also, there are many nuns who i'm sure would love to make a pun, but for the love of god, not under the sun! they'de melt!

have you ever noticed that the first letter of every second letter in the third letter of everyones first name is actually the ninth letter of the the second alphabet, and is always divisable by three?

umm, no, its 3.14159

What is the fifth number of our alphabet?

Mentat

Jun9-03, 09:31 AM

Originally posted by Cummings
umm, no, its 3.14159

What is the fifth number of our alphabet?

um...B. No, 6. No...ummm...42!

How come a tree's rings tell you how old the tree is, don't they have any shame?

maximus

Jun9-03, 11:16 AM

Originally posted by Mentat

How come a tree's rings tell you how old the tree is, don't they have any shame?

becuase trees, like lettuce and mustard, grow only more respectable with age.

why doesn't the devil face work? [<:)]

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun9-03, 11:56 AM

Originally asked by Maximus

why doesn't the devil face work? [<:)]

Ah, but you are fooled, as it is the devils greatest trick, making you think he doesn't exist, when all the time you are being seduced by his D'evil!

And now, the "Homer(s)ized" version.........

Is the reason that there is no word, in the English language, that rhymes with Orange, because none of the other words can reach a note in the d'Oh-range??

(As suggested by; "A friend"..Tee heee heee heheheheheheheheR?)

J-Man

Jun11-03, 02:28 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is the reason that there is no word, in the English language, that rhymes with Orange, because none of the other words can reach a note in the d'Oh-range??
No, gorange rhymes with orange and is clearly in the d'oh! range.

<------d'oh!------->
     gorange

see?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun12-03, 11:43 AM

Originally asked by J-Man

see?

WHat? where? D'Oh, Ya!!, that!! there!! yup!!!

Have you ever used, ooooor, been a Victim of …….
"Reverse Bumpkin Tecka-Gnawl-(d')O(h)-GEE!"??

J-Man

Jun13-03, 12:46 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Have you ever used, ooooor, been a Victim of …….
"Reverse Bumpkin Tecka-Gnawl-(d')O(h)-GEE!"??
I never even knew there was such a thing.

If the airspeed velocity of an unladen, (European,) swallow is 42 knots North, but it's airspeed velocity when laden, (with say a 2 lb. coconut,) is only 17 knots (whatever direction,) what time does the train arrive at the station?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun13-03, 02:35 PM

Originally asked by J-Man

If the airspeed velocity of an unladen, (European,) swallow is 42 knots North, but it's airspeed velocity when laden, (with say a 2 lb. coconut,) is only 17 knots (whatever direction,) what time does the train arrive at the station?

Well, if the bird (That's me???) uses "Reverse Bumpkin Technology" (patents pending, BTW) then the right hand rules tells us that the summation fo the vectors cancels out to twelve gad-zillion meters per half year, (squared......naturally) in hyperspacatial reality, but in this dimensionality, the train got derailed, so at 42 O'clock!

When Mr, Robin Parsons, representing the (Wild ) bear, called himself the (i)D(i)ot typissst, was it apparent to you that his use of the two ( ) around his iconographic i was actually to indicate the reflective qualities of mirrors, to the effect that the D could be seen as 'duplicable', ERGO creating the actual title of (i)D (i)Dot, which is a representation of the actuality of a human, with respect to creation, (My ID is simply I'DOT), and that the furthering of this analogy is found in the generation of this iconographic illustration of humanity to include the "Corporeally Ensconced Mind" (that is a Human being) represented by the i, (which is the mind, above the body that it is ensconced within) which is a product of a mirroring effect itself, (hence the two mirrors ( )) ensconcing/generating the i) is further "Universally Humanized in Commonality" by the (i)D (i)Dot's Title in it's signification of the very self reflective quality of being human, such that if you couldn't distinguish between the self generation of i's, then you probably really are (the one and only, as the people in this forum do NOT qualify for such a title, BUT, there is that Universal LAW that states; “There is an exception to EVERY RULE!) a true, and actual, the one and only, in the entire Universe, idiot???

Mentat

Jun13-03, 03:24 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Well, if the bird (That's me???) uses "Reverse Bumpkin Technology" (patents pending, BTW) then the right hand rules tells us that the summation fo the vectors cancels out to twelve gad-zillion meters per half year, (squared......naturally) in hyperspacatial reality, but in this dimensionality, the train got derailed, so at 42 O'clock!

When Mr, Robin Parsons, representing the (Wild ) bear, called himself the (i)D(i)ot typissst, was it apparent to you that his use of the two ( ) around his iconographic i was actually to indicate the reflective qualities of mirrors, to the effect that the D could be seen as 'duplicable', ERGO creating the actual title of (i)D (i)Dot, which is a representation of the actuality of a human, with respect to creation, (My ID is simply I'DOT), and that the furthering of this analogy is found in the generation of this iconographic illustration of humanity to include the "Corporeally Ensconced Mind" (that is a Human being) represented by the i, (which is the mind, above the body that it is ensconced within) which is a product of a mirroring effect itself, (hence the two mirrors ( )) ensconcing/generating the i) is further "Universally Humanized in Commonality" by the (i)D (i)Dot's Title in it's signification of the very self reflective quality of being human, such that if you couldn't distinguish between the self generation of i's, then you probably really are (the one and only, as the people in this forum do NOT qualify for such a title, BUT, there is that Universal LAW that states; “There is an exception to EVERY RULE!) a true, and actual, the one and only, in the entire Universe, idiot???

Is that even a quetion?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun13-03, 05:28 PM

Originally asked by mentat

Is that even a quetion?

D'Oh look, "Reverse Bumpkin Technology" (patents pending) at work!

What does "Patents Pending" really mean??

J-Man

Jun14-03, 01:55 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What does "Patents Pending" really mean??
It comes from the Greek words "paten" (pants) and "tspen" (to sue) and "ding" (dang). Literally, "to sue your dang pants off."

Why do they want your pants?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun14-03, 03:53 PM

Origially asked by J-Man

Why do they want your pants?

So they can "pend" them what else would/could it have been!

Is the word "Karaoke" translated into English, "Karry-Off-Key"??

J-Man

Jun23-03, 11:57 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is the word "Karaoke" translated into English, "Karry-Off-Key"??
Yes, but most people screw it up and translate it as "Barry's Monkey", and their voice cracks when they say it.

Is the world safe from joggers?

Mentat

Jun23-03, 12:04 PM

Originally posted by J-Man
Yes, but most people screw it up and translate it as "Barry's Monkey", and their voice cracks when they say it.

Is the world safe from joggers?

You mean, is the safe jog from worlders? Or, is the jog world from safers?

If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it kill a squirrel?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jun23-03, 01:43 PM

Originally asked by Mentat
If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it kill a squirrel?

Well now, the tree falling at angle Θ with the cooresponding angle of interferential differentiation being α twix the variable of the known α/Ω range, the squirrel, {if present} must execute a double back-flipping summersault, at an inverted angle of
ζ * ≈ thus arranging for the momentum to be &equiv; to ± the √ π thus obtaining the maximum velocity achievable as to ensure that, (if the squirrel is present) the last longest branch may, or may not, strike the squirrel firmly and soundly, hence making it much simpler for all of us to enjoy squirrel "frikase'e" this evening.

If Ms. Spelt, miss spelt, misspelled, would she need a legal name change?

J-Man

Jul5-03, 12:26 PM

Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
If Ms. Spelt, miss spelt, misspelled, would she need a legal name change?
Only if she married Mr. Spelling, cause she'd then be 'Misses Spelling'.

Why do people tell me I'm out of shape? After all, 'round' is a shape.

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul6-03, 01:27 PM

Originally asked by J-Man

Why do people tell me I'm out of shape? After all, 'round' is a shape.

Because it doesn't fit into there 'square thinking' minds!

Why does a "Square Thinking Mind" not fit into a round hole??

Mentat

Jul7-03, 12:17 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Because it doesn't fit into there 'square thinking' minds!

Why does a "Square Thinking Mind" not fit into a round hole??

Why, do you really need a phenomenological anal probe?

Why do people believe that aliens use anal probes?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul7-03, 05:14 PM

Originally asked by Mentat

Why do people believe that aliens use anal probes?

Because, 'rumor has it' they keep using the "Back Door", of the planet, for entry.

How does one employ a "phenomenological anal probe" for testing flatulate spectroscopy?

dextercioby

Jul8-03, 04:01 AM

i surely don't know.
Now there's a stupid question from me:how much can one earn by webmastering a hardcore site??

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul8-03, 10:26 AM

Originally asked by dextercioby
Now there's a stupid question from me:how much can one earn by webmastering a hardcore site??

Rumor has it that nothing ever is gained from it.

Why would anyone, work at a job, that rewards them, with nothing?

EDIT SP!

Mentat

Jul8-03, 12:47 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Rumor has it that nothing ever comes from it.

Why would anyone, work at a job, that rewards them, with nothing?

And now, for the dumbest answer of all time: Sometimes the work is a reward in itself. [:D]

What exactly would a phenomenological anal probe look like?

Mattius_

Jul8-03, 01:59 PM

coke or pepsi?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul8-03, 02:57 PM

Originally answered, and asked, by Mattius_
coke or pepsi?

Why yes! please! cold preferably!

What is the opposite of Orange?

Mentat

Jul9-03, 05:17 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why yes! please! cold preferably!

What is the opposite of Orange?

Egnaro (pronounced: egg-nah-row) noun. Etymology: From the Old English "Egnaro", which meant nothing whatsoever to them, and hasn't changed much since.

Definition:
1) The opposite of Orange, for whatever reason one may wish to conjur up in their twisted, useless, minds.

2) The noun form of the verb, to "egn", which cannot be pronounced, so don't even try.

3) In some cultures, the name of the Almighty God, who egned this Earth from nothing.*

*these cultures are only hypothetical, and no such religion is known to exist, but the definition just didn't look long (or stupid) enough without this third point.

What is the purpose of definitions?

selfAdjoint

Jul9-03, 05:40 PM

Originally posted by Mentat
Egnaro (pronounced: egg-nah-row) noun. Etymology: From the Old English "Egnaro", which meant nothing whatsoever to them, and hasn't changed much since.

Definition:
1) The opposite of Orange, for whatever reason one may wish to conjur up in their twisted, useless, minds.

2) The noun form of the verb, to "egn", which cannot be pronounced, so don't even try.

3) In some cultures, the name of the Almighty God, who egned this Earth from nothing.*

*these cultures are only hypothetical, and no such religion is known to exist, but the definition just didn't look long (or stupid) enough without this third point.

What is the purpose of definitions?

To put de fine point on things.

What is the opposite of grok? (and don't say korg!)

Ivan Seeking

Jul10-03, 04:16 AM

Originally posted by selfAdjoint
To put de fine point on things.

What is the opposite of grok? (and don't say korg!)

Ignorance.
The meaning of grok (http://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/0%2C%2Csid9_gci212216%2C00.html)

What is the meaning of "is"?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul10-03, 10:55 AM

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
What is the meaning of "is"?

ARE!

How do you start a bicycle?

DR OF DEATH

Jul10-03, 11:09 AM

by getting a bi'person to cycle it.

when will hell freeze over i wanna go there for christmas

Mentat

Jul10-03, 12:39 PM

Originally posted by drdeath
by getting a bi'person to cycle it.

when will hell freeze over i wanna go there for christmas

Right after it freezes over "I wanna go there for Easter" (just a joke on the lack of punctuation... [;)]).

Why do people make fun of lawyers?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul10-03, 02:15 PM

Originally posed by mentat
Why do people make fun of lawyers?

BECAUSE IT IS THE LAW!!!

Why is it "The Law" to make fun of lawyers

The Grimmus

Jul10-03, 03:10 PM

becuase you siad it was

If i cant read how am i answering this

The Grimmus

Jul10-03, 03:10 PM

becuase you siad it was

If i cant read how am i answering this

maximus

Jul10-03, 05:09 PM

Originally posted by The Grimmus
If i cant read how am i answering this

it's in brail.

if you can't think of a question that sounds stupid, does it make you smart or stupid?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul10-03, 06:21 PM

Originally asked by maximus

if you can't think of a question that sounds stupid, does it make you smart or stupid?

Neither, just NOT a 'thinker' (Only a joke, Not for real, OK?)

Does the word "Genius" really stand for The Geni-(in)-us? (or was that gem-in-I?)

The Grimmus

Jul10-03, 06:54 PM

yes yes it dose

or dose it?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul10-03, 07:03 PM

Originally posted by The Grimmus

or dose it?

Most assuredly is was.

If you scream "Eureka", but have gotten nothing, why have you done that?

selfAdjoint

Jul10-03, 08:52 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Most assuredly is was.

If you scream "Eureka", but have gotten nothing, why have you done that?

Because you friend-a smells-a bad-a.

Did Jack and Jill get Workman's Comp?

The Grimmus

Jul10-03, 10:30 PM

No but jill is still awaiting her sexual harrasment suit, aginst Jack for "tubling" after her so aggresively, to procces

Whats this rash on my thigh from

quantumcarl

Jul11-03, 05:01 AM

Originally posted by The Grimmus
No but jill is still awaiting her sexual harrasment suit, aginst Jack for "tubling" after her so aggresively, to procces

Whats this rash on my thigh from

Rash behavior.

Are we naked under out clothes?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul11-03, 11:03 AM

Originally asked by quantumcarl

Are we naked under out clothes?

Only if she says "Yes"!

What do you do if she says "Yes!"?

J-Man

Jul11-03, 01:47 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if she says "Yes!"?
Step 1) Apply chocolate.
Step 2) Lick chocolate.
Step 3) Repeat as desired.
Step 4) Start over, except with whipped cream.

Or should the whipped cream come first?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul11-03, 04:34 PM

Originally asked by J-Man

Or should the whipped cream come first?

Hopefully, and 'hopefully' you will finish last!

Is whipped cream without a "cherry on top" anywheres nears as good as with one?

The Grimmus

Jul12-03, 01:00 AM

only if the cherry is substuted with chocalte sauce (or another sauce like subsatnce) with sprinkles (be them rainbow or choclate)

how much cholcalte would it take to bring down a rhino

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul12-03, 02:15 PM

Originally asked by The Grimmus
how much cholcalte would it take to bring down a rhino

Given the chocolate to weight formula, C^W/A18 werein A= Anger quotient, the need of chocolate poundage is a mulituple of the rhino's mass\weight divided by his anger'Q', (to the eighteenth power) hence you must assess the A before proceeding to calculate the formulation of needed chocolate.

How angry will the rhino be?

The Grimmus

Jul12-03, 11:12 PM

well you will need an equation for that as well...
A=w*(T^pi)+ sqr(n-8)

A = anger
w=weight
T= % above or below normal testosteron level of that type of orangism
N= randome varriable that makes me look smarte

so you satrt with:
182(.9^pi)+sqr( [oo] -8)
182 (roughly 2.827433388) + the letter v...yea v (this is starting to look like a math final of mine)
roughly 514.5928767+v
coverting V using only imaginaryly relastic # you come out with

A= very

how can sqr( [oo] -8) be anything but the symbol ~?

Mattius_

Jul13-03, 12:39 AM

but what if your not throwing the chocalate? maybe your feeding it the chocalate, in which case the poundage would be much smaller... id say mmm, 10-20 lbs of milk chocalate before you make it get sick and lay down.. but this estimate is totally dependent upon the kind of chocalate...

what kind of chocalate? does nugget count?

The Grimmus

Jul13-03, 01:37 AM

ofocurse your feeding it the choclate in a nugget form and you have thigns revered if u throw it at the rhino it is far less

rhinos insticvley stomp on procced choclate realsing small amount of coco dust which knock the creature unconsious

What the hell am i talking about?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul13-03, 11:46 AM

Originally posted by The Grimmus
What the hell am i talking about?

Something about the menu plan for cooking a Rhino in chocolate, I think.

What are you going to do when your spine wears out?

The Grimmus

Jul13-03, 06:35 PM

get one off ebay

Defintie means infite if you look at it as De finite...right?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul14-03, 10:04 AM

Originally posted by The Grimmus
Defintie means infite if you look at it as De finite...right?

Only 42 times, after that it becomes In De-Finite.

When you look on ebay, for a new spine, are you willing/wanting to save some ca$h on slightly used ones?

Mentat

Jul14-03, 04:12 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Only 42 times, after that it becomes In De-Finite.

When you look on ebay, for a new spine, are you willing/wanting to save some ca$h on slightly used ones?

If you're looking on eBay for a new spine, you are completely insane, and need to seek professional help as soon as possible.

How old is God?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul14-03, 04:19 PM

Originally posted by Mentat

How old is God?

Same age as the last time you asked that question!

How many times are we allowed to repeat ourselves before we volontarily make the effort to come up with some new material?

(and 42 times is a disqualified/dis-ingenious/un-quantfiable responce)

Andy

Jul14-03, 05:23 PM

Liz Hurley is HOT!

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul16-03, 01:12 PM

Ahhhh!!! EVIDENCE!!!!!!! (thats the answer!)

Now the question.......

What is evidence?

J-Man

Jul18-03, 11:48 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What is evidence?
Something with the same dencity of an electron, but whose energy is equal to it's power.
Why do they make fireworks illegal and then sell them?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul18-03, 01:13 PM

Originally posted by J-Man
Why do they make fireworks illegal and then sell them?

Cause if they were legal, no one would want them, NO FUN that way. way MORE FUN if they are illegal to use. (nudge'nudge-wink'wink)

Why do people find breaking the law, FUN?

mouseman

Jul18-03, 11:53 PM

cuz its fun to break stuff.

If you're riding your bike along the road and your pedal falls off,
how many monkeys does it take to make an omelet?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul19-03, 09:09 AM

Well it depends on the bicycle, (pedal differentiation) 'Mountain bike' style or 'Road bike' style, and you clearly forgot to tell us where the monkey/simian was astride the Artificial Horse that it was riding, cause the velocity factors V thermal transfer (to the protein pile) have successive Differential accumulations of agglomerational characteristic pluming episodes that would deffinitively have quantifiable effectations upon the qualitative output of the simians respective erognomic abilities, re the pedals qualities have quantifiable proportions such that the outcomes of events histologies would pathologically diverge in there acuteness, or, in simple words, Go ask someone who is a MONKEY (or there Avatar)

Is it really the "Monkey that Roared", and NOT the Mouse that roared??

Mentat

Jul19-03, 04:39 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Well it depends on the bicycle, (pedal differentiation) 'Mountain bike' style or 'Road bike' style, and you clearly forgot to tell us where the monkey/simian was astride the Artificial Horse that it was riding, cause the velocity factors V thermal transfer (to the protein pile) have successive Differential accumulations of agglomerational characteristic pluming episodes that would deffinitively have quantifiable effectations upon the qualitative output of the simians respective erognomic abilities, re the pedals qualities have quantifiable proportions such that the outcomes of events histologies would pathologically diverge in there acuteness, or, in simple words, Go ask someone who is a MONKEY (or there Avatar)

Is it really the "Monkey that Roared", and NOT the Mouse that roared??

Uuuh, I'm thinkin' kinda...huh?

What would we do if the back-scratcher hadn't been invented?

Ivan Seeking

Jul19-03, 08:41 PM

Originally posted by Mentat
Uuuh, I'm thinkin' kinda...huh?

What would we do if the back-scratcher hadn't been invented?

Itch.

what would be the record for the longest field goal if our knees bent the other direction? Why?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jul20-03, 08:58 AM

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
what would be the record for the longest field goal if our knees bent the other direction? Why?

About the same, as you would just do things/count Bass Ackwards!

In what number system do you count Bass Ackwards?

J-Man

Aug5-03, 08:14 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
In what number system do you count Bass Ackwards?
It is ackwards to count bass in any number system! But if I had to guess, I'd probably say the Trout System of Numerology and Flatulence.

What's funnier, "Numerology" or "Flatulence"?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug6-03, 05:31 PM

Originally posted by j-man
What's funnier, "Numerology" or "Flatulence"?

"Numerological Flatulence"!!

How many flatulates can you count when the flatulator is flatulating at supersonic speeds?

J-Man

Aug8-03, 12:47 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How many flatulates can you count when the flatulator is flatulating at supersonic speeds?
All of them, unless the batteries are dead.

What did the bartender say to the Neutron when giving it the drink it ordered?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug9-03, 06:42 PM

"This 'oughta Linearly polarize Ya!"

What do you do if, while the polarized Neutron went out for a stroll along the beltway, and the Martian askes you for your seeds?

Andy

Aug10-03, 06:43 PM

paint his yohoo gold

how do you post without knowing that u've posted

J-Man

Aug11-03, 12:39 AM

Originally posted by Andy
how do you post without knowing that u've posted
Hypnotize yourself.

Will there ever be peace on Mars?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug11-03, 04:44 PM

Originally posted by J-Man
Will there ever be peace on Mars?

YES! (see below for explaination)

Why? has there never been, a War, on Mars?

vacuum

Aug21-03, 02:03 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
YES! (see below for explaination)

Why? has there never been, a War, on Mars?
Yes, actually there was, yellow ants ate my bannana.

Why did I say bANANNA? aND wHO sTOLE mY cAPS lOCK kEY??

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug21-03, 03:09 PM

Originally posted by vacuum
Why did I say bANANNA? aND wHO sTOLE mY cAPS lOCK kEY??
Because I briefly took over your mind, and made you say that, so while you were distracted that way, I could steal your "caps lock key" to open up the door locks, on my tent! (nyah!! nyah!!)

If the Earth had been a cube, (rather then a sphere) would you still have been willing to seek out the four corners of it??
(eight actually, but it's an expression so run with it, will Ya?)

FZ+

Aug21-03, 05:56 PM

Only so I can prove that it is in fact, triangular.

As per QM, would car drivers get lost less if their speedometers were less accurate?

Sonty

Aug22-03, 02:10 PM

Yes, they will also be unsure about their weight.

Do I still have a sun tan at night?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug22-03, 02:53 PM

Originally asked by Sonty
Do I still have a sun tan at night?
No! it turns into a Burn.

Is it possible to get a Sun tan, under the Stars??

zoobyshoe

Aug22-03, 05:40 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is it possible to get a Sun tan, under the Stars??

Billions and billions of them.Just
none of them very dark.

How dark is a dark star?

BiologyForums

Aug22-03, 05:44 PM

You are getting a suntime under the stars.

No one ever got a suntan under anything other than stars.....

Sonty

Aug22-03, 06:23 PM

Darker than the white Death Star.

How deadly is a Death Star?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug22-03, 06:29 PM

Originally posted by Sonty
How deadly is a Death Star?
We don't really know, no one has ever survived one yet!

If I was to try to walk up a hillside of bentanite, in a rainstorm, how far down the hill would I go?

(Chuckle* chuckle)

zoobyshoe

Aug22-03, 06:34 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If I was to try to walk up a hillside of bentanite, in a rainstorm, how far down the hill would I go?

(Chuckle* chuckle)

As far as the nearest spell-check
I hope.(Chuckle' chuckle)

How many physicists does it take
to screw in a lightbulb?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug22-03, 06:39 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
How many physicists does it take
to screw in a lightbulb?
No one knows! the last anyone heard, they were out inventing a new source of light!!

How many sources of light does it take to illuminate you?

zoobyshoe

Aug22-03, 06:42 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How many sources of light does it take to illuminate you?

I don't keep count. All I know is
that I'm ready for my closup, Mr.
DeMille.

Is it live, or is it memorex?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug22-03, 06:49 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Is it live, or is it memorex?
Uhmmm, oh! sorry! I forgot! what was the question again?

zoobyshoe

Aug22-03, 06:53 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Uhmmm, oh! sorry! I forgot! what was the question again?

ABSOLUTLY CORRECT!

Where have all the flowers gone?

Zantra

Aug23-03, 01:00 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
ABSOLUTLY CORRECT!
Where have all the flowers gone?

The guy at the funeral home needed them

Where have all the cowboys gone?

Gale

Aug23-03, 01:05 AM

Where have all the cowboys gone?

to space, the final frontier!

how many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

Sonty

Aug23-03, 02:40 AM

Originally asked by Gale17
how many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

That's obvious! 42.

How many times do you have to moon the president to earn 42 cups of sugar?

zoobyshoe

Aug23-03, 08:14 AM

Originally posted by Sonty
How many times do you have to moon the president to earn 42 cups of sugar?

Only Monica Lewinski knows for
sure.

If I say the word "Lewinski" 42
times, and you say it 21 times,
and a third party says it 10.5
times, and a fourth party says it
5.25 times will anyone ever end up
saying it 0 times?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug23-03, 09:33 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If I say the word "Lewinski" 42
times, and you say it 21 times,
and a third party says it 10.5
times, and a fourth party says it
5.25 times will anyone ever end up
saying it 0 times?

Lord Knows! We can only HOPE!!

When you are turning around, how far must you go to accomplish being backwards, to the opposite of what had been forwards??

zoobyshoe

Aug23-03, 09:51 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When you are turning around, how far must you go to accomplish being backwards, to the opposite of what had been forwards??

The answer is: Don't move at all.
Instead, dangle yourself from a
swinging rope and wait for the
earth to turn beneath you.

A plane leaves the ground in the
southern hemishphere headed for
a destination in the northern
hemisphere. The duration of the
flight is calculated to be five
hours based on initial distance.
Figuring in the coriolis effect,
how many small, cellophane bags
of peanuts could you stuff into
your cheeks during the flight?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug23-03, 04:09 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
A plane leaves the ground in the southern hemishphere headed for a destination in the northern hemisphere. The duration of the flight is calculated to be five hours based on initial distance.
Figuring in the coriolis effect, how many small, cellophane bags of peanuts could you stuff into your cheeks during the flight?
Specifically, seventeen in the oral cheeks, (I know, I tried, just got back!) Zero in the other set.

How far must you travel to get "All the way there, and back"?

Zantra

Aug23-03, 04:37 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Specifically, seventeen in the oral cheeks, (I know, I tried, just got back!) Zero in the other set.

How far must you travel to get "All the way there, and back"?

To infinity! And BEYOND!

Mr Owl, how many licks DOES it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

Ivan Seeking

Aug24-03, 04:49 AM

Originally posted by Zantra
To infinity! And BEYOND!

Mr Owl, how many licks DOES it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

ONE!

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

zoobyshoe

Aug24-03, 04:54 AM

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

It drives the flying saucer pilots
nuts and forces them to park in
corn fields.

Do grays lets grays pilot flying
saucers drunk?

Ivan Seeking

Aug24-03, 05:05 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
It drives the flying saucer pilots
nuts and forces them to park in
corn fields.

Do grays lets grays pilot flying
saucers drunk?

They don't get drunk. They just lean to the right and then drive in circles. This is why we often observe the erratic flight patterns.

Where are their lips?

zoobyshoe

Aug24-03, 05:32 AM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Where are their lips

Angelina Jolie seems to have acquired all extra lips on earth
so she is the prime suspect.

Do grays ever suffer from B.O.?

Ivan Seeking

Aug24-03, 06:28 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Where are their lips

Angelina Jolie seems to have acquired all extra lips on earth
so she is the prime suspect.

Do grays ever suffer from B.O.?

Have you seen the size of those ships? Do you know how far it is to Alpha Centauri? DUH!

The question is, how do they go number three while in flight?

zoobyshoe

Aug24-03, 06:43 AM

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
The question is, how do they go number three while in flight?

One of the advantages of being from a super evolved race is that they can hold #3 indefinitly.

When skittles are in short supply
what is a grays favorite snack food?

Sonty

Aug24-03, 10:16 AM

Cornflakes of course.

Do their women have PMS?

zoobyshoe

Aug24-03, 10:23 AM

Originally posted by Sonty
Do their women have PMS?

Yes. It's why their men are all
looking for a new planet to set-
tle on?

Aside from human beings, what other pets do the grays enjoy
having?

Sonty

Aug24-03, 10:37 AM

Scarecrows?

Or are the scarecrows just spies?

zoobyshoe

Aug24-03, 10:49 AM

Originally posted by Sonty
Or are the scarecrows just spies?

The scarecrows are just straight
forward scarecrows. They scare the
crows away so they don't get suck-
ed into the zeropoint energy hyper
spacewarp drives of the crop
circle craft and jam the positron
turbines.

If you were a gray and your posit-
tron turbine got jammed would you
take it to a quantuum mechanic?

FZ+

Aug24-03, 12:07 PM

No. They just bodge it together with Superstring and Supertape
.
How many Grays does it take to tranfigurate an electromagnetic boson emissive silicate capsule?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug24-03, 01:32 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
How many Grays does it take to tranfigurate an electromagnetic boson emissive silicate capsule?
Telepathetically, seventeen, in person about forty eight.
(thats what they told me)

How do you communicate with greys, when they are scared white?

zoobyshoe

Aug24-03, 03:01 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
How many Grays does it take to tranfigurate an electromagnetic boson emissive silicate capsule?

Four:

One to whip up a batch of Ununquadium catalyst.
One to open the capsule.
One to pour the catalyst in.
And one to "burp" the lid.

If you were a gray and wondered
where your navel was, would you
look in a copy of Gray's Anato-
my?

zoobyshoe

Aug24-03, 04:13 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How do you communicate with greys, when they are scared white?

Invite them into your home for
some popcorn and an entertaining
video, say...Independence Day.

If you were a gray and wondered where your navel was would you
consult "Gray's Anatomy?"

carla

Aug25-03, 07:52 AM

Originally posted by Another God
Anything you want Buddy...

How can everyone else think of such good questions still?
(by good I mean stupid)

It's still going!!! Amazing!

Because everyone else can and I can't!

Could this thread be the great infinite nothing?[6)]

Sonty

Aug25-03, 08:57 AM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
If you were a gray and wondered where your navel was would you
consult "Gray's Anatomy?"

No. I would lay on my back, spit upwards and eventually the spit will end up in my navel.

At what angle should I spit?

zoobyshoe

Aug25-03, 09:27 AM

Originally posted by Sonty
At what angle should I spit?

Hmmmm...Let's see.

Oh, I get it! You're trying to
sucker me into the old "At what
angle should I spit?" paradox.
Well, I'm not biting.

If a dozen Grays knocked on your
door and said "Trick or Treat!"
but a quick glance at the calendar
informed you it was April Fools
Day, would you think it was an
April Fools joke, or would you
think that Grays don't know how
to read Earth calendars?

Another God

Aug25-03, 09:31 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If a dozen Grays knocked on your
door and said "Trick or Treat!"
but a quick glance at the calendar
informed you it was April Fools
Day, would you think it was an
April Fools joke, or would you
think that Grays don't know how
to read Earth calendars? I'd actually be wondering what the greys were doing out of water...You know they drown if they stop swimming.

Why do i spend so long trying to think of an interesting question, when in reality, I don't even care?

zoobyshoe

Aug25-03, 09:36 AM

Originally posted by Another God
Why do i spend so long trying to think of an interesting question, when in reality, I don't even care?

Oh you wish you didn't care!

If four and twenty grays were baked in a pie what would they
do when the pie was opened? (Grays
don't sing.)

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug25-03, 10:17 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If four and twenty grays were baked in a pie what would they
do when the pie was opened? (Grays
don't sing.)

Jump up and exclaim "LOOK AT MY TAN MA!, WE'R BROWNS NOW!!!"

How many greys, turned brown, will fit into the Mother ship, when it is turtle egg laying season?

zoobyshoe

Aug25-03, 10:36 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How many greys, turned brown, will fit into the Mother ship, when it is turtle egg laying season?

Since, as is well known, the body
mass of grays increases by pre-
isely .0020098654 % during turtle
egg laying season the answer ought
to be: "Fewer than usual." However
since no one has measured the body
mass of grays-turned-brown during
turtle egg laying season, the
answer must remain a matter of
debate.

A highly polished metal ball has a
radius of 15cm. Where will it image the nose holes of a gray
positioned 23m from its surface?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug25-03, 10:40 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
A highly polished metal ball has a
radius of 15cm. Where will it image the nose holes of a gray
positioned 23m from its surface?
What a 'silly question' EVERYONE KNOWS it would be side opposite, OYE!

In all of your years of experiance with the greys, have you ever known them to demonstrate stupidity? (like me!)

zoobyshoe

Aug25-03, 10:53 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
In all of your years of experiance with the greys, have you ever known them to demonstrate stupidity? (like me!)

Yes, consistantly. But in their
practice of consistant stupidity
they achieve an inverted form of
intelligence. This can be manipulated algebraically to make
them look as smart as Ivan Seeking
thinks they are.

When grays are not abducting
humans for laughs, what is there
preferred entertainment?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug25-03, 11:25 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
When grays are not abducting
humans for laughs, what is there
preferred entertainment?
Watching (stupid) Humans on television, what else!

When the beam of light comes down from the grey's ship, to pick you up, (for a laugh) to prevent its operational function, what do you use??

zoobyshoe

Aug25-03, 11:35 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When the beam of light comes down from the grey's ship, to pick you up, (for a laugh) to prevent its operational function, what do you use??

My own preferred method is the
emission of hydrogen sulphide
and methane gasses. This does not
actually interfere with the beam,
but it does obviate one's desir-
ability as an object of amusement.

Given the tremendous speeds of
their craft how much does a speeding ticket set them back
when they're pulled over back on
the homeworld?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug25-03, 11:51 AM

Originally asked by Zoobyshoe
Given the tremendous speeds of
their craft how much does a speeding ticket set them back
when they're pulled over back on
the homeworld?
Well, it is a sliding scale, in their monetary funding, (of course) you pay 1/2 of the speed times the nearness of the home planet, for all tickets below C, and @ speeds in excess of C, you pay exponetial rates based upon a formula that integrates the number of times that you have been caught, the number of "Browns" on your ship, how many stupid humans you have brought along, subtended by the square root bulk modus of the gravitational force that you exerted upon the officers craft, to deccelrate, summed into the log of the quantity of fuel (In Newtons per meter Sq'd) you have left.

(About twenty bucks Canadian, thats about five bucks US?)

How much should you be charging greys, to refuel their craft?

zoobyshoe

Aug25-03, 12:09 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How much should you be charging greys, to refuel their craft?

It's interesting you should ask because not two weeks ago several
Grays knocked on my door asking
for some Space Fuel. I said "Come
in and we'll discuss the price."
Well, one thing lead to another
and pretty soon we were eating
microwave popcorn and watching
"Independence Day" on the VCR, and
one of them broke out some Space
Vodka, and another had some Space
Weed and pretty soon they were all
wobbly and kind of vibrated when
you looked at them, and then I
went to make some more popcorn but
when I got back they had all kind
of shriveled into these things
that looked something like deflated, gray garbage bags, so
I picked one up, stuffed all the
others into him, and carried the
whole mess out into the dumpster
and I never found out how much to
charge them for Space fuel.

Do Grays "get" the Blues?

Tsu

Aug25-03, 12:52 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
It's interesting you should ask because not two weeks ago several
Grays knocked on my door asking
for some Space Fuel. I said "Come
in and we'll discuss the price."
Well, one thing lead to another
and pretty soon we were eating
microwave popcorn and watching
"Independence Day" on the VCR, and
one of them broke out some Space
Vodka, and another had some Space
Weed and pretty soon they were all
wobbly and kind of vibrated when
you looked at them, and then I
went to make some more popcorn but
when I got back they had all kind
of shriveled into these things
that looked something like deflated, gray garbage bags, so
I picked one up, stuffed all the
others into him, and carried the
whole mess out into the dumpster
and I never found out how much to
charge them for Space fuel.

Do Grays "get" the Blues?

Only when they hang out with BB (Big Bang) King. Otherwise, they're just confused by the blues.

How do you grow Space Weed?! (Zooby! I'm assuming that, since you didn't get around to pricing Space Fuel, that you also don't have a clue about the going rate for Space Weed. Did you inhale? [:D])

zoobyshoe

Aug25-03, 01:23 PM

Originally posted by Tsunami How do you grow Space Weed?! (Zooby! I'm assuming that, since you didn't get around to pricing Space Fuel, that you also don't have a clue about the going rate for Space Weed. Did you inhale? [:D])

Space weed grows by itself. The
hard part is convincing your
flying saucer commander to pull
over onto an asteroid so you can pick some.
I don't know the going rate but
when I inhaled the first puff I felt a sensation in my head like a thousand miniature versions of
Niels Bohr were singing: "De leg
bone connected to de Thigh bone...

How many miniature gray aliens
would a woodchuck upchuck if a
woodchuck chugged a bottle of
Space VodKa?[g)]

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug26-03, 10:16 AM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
How many miniature gray aliens would a woodchuck upchuck if a woodchuck chugged a bottle of Space VodKa?
Well the computational formula for such a consideration roughs out at, UGA = (mGaS^Svc)4/mGaEX^t1 - t2 to the log of l(a)unchtime.
Wherein,
UGA = Upchucked Grey Aliens
mGas = miniature Grey aliens Swallowed
Svc = Space Vodka consumed
mGaEX = miniature Grey aliens Excreted
and t1/t2 = time differential of dinners V excretions.

(probably about 42, but we'll wait till Mentat gets back for confirmation on that one!)

While replacing his "grav drive" (at my place) one night, a grey dropped his vaporisor gun, (so I now have that technology too) how much should the minimium bid be, on e-bay?

zoobyshoe

Aug26-03, 10:36 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin
Parsons

While replacing his "grav drive" (at my place) one night, a grey dropped his vaporisor gun, (so I now have that technology too) how much should the minimium bid be, on e-bay?

At first I thought "My God! He's
rich!" but then I went to E-bay to
check the going rate for vaporizer
guns of grey origin only to find
they are not that rare. Depending
on condition people are setting
their minimum bids in the $3000.00
to $5000.00 range. So, it's nought
to sneer at but not what I would
have anticipated. (Greys, apparen-
tly are "butter-fingered".

If you were a grey and dropped your vaporizer somewhere what
excuse would you make up to
appease the commander of your
flying disc?

Sonty

Aug26-03, 10:47 AM

It wasn't me!

Should Mr. Parsons be afraid of the little grey's revenge?

zoobyshoe

Aug26-03, 10:51 AM

What are you talking about? They
worship him as a god!

If you were the grey commander of
a flying disc and one of your
crew lost his vaporizor, would
you vaporize him, or make him
clean the space toilets?

Sonty

Aug26-03, 10:57 AM

I would make him close the lids on all the toilets in the universe as my God says.

If you would be a grey, you lost your vaporizor and your commander made you close the lids on every space toilet there is would you consider laser spears on your next journey?

zoobyshoe

Aug26-03, 11:16 AM

Originally posted by Sonty
If you would be a grey, you lost your vaporizor and your commander made you close the lids on every space toilet there is would you consider laser spears on your next journey?

No, they are awkward to carry and
you just end up whacking your
crewmates in the head every time
you turn around.

The earth toilet was brought to
its form as we know it today
by Thomas Crapper. What is the
history of the Space Toilet?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug26-03, 07:24 PM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
The earth toilet was brought to its form as we know it today by Thomas Crapper. What is the history of the Space Toilet?
Apparently there is history here, as the name of the space toilet inventor is "Crapper 'Grey' Thomas", (CGT to his friends) so perhaps he, the human one, was a direct decendant of the greys, from long ago, and it simply took that long for the DNA informetery to kick into place, as to have his historical place, in history, fixed in all places, and un-flushably so!

While using a space toilet, I noticed that there was no toilet paper, what was it that the greys told me to use to wipe my (deleted!)?

zoobyshoe

Aug26-03, 07:46 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
While using a space toilet, I noticed that there was no toilet paper, what was it that the greys told me to use to wipe my (deleted!)?

You would be refering to the dw^"
=*""l*5^6 as they call it in
their evocative and amusing vern-
acular expression (pronounce it
with a slight betelgeusian twang
and you'll get the full pun).

In their culinary tradition how
many teaspoons of ground ;-0)08^|'
should be added to season a batch
of @@@^{=~<?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug26-03, 08:06 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
In their culinary tradition how many teaspoons of ground ;-0)08^|' should be added to season a batch of @@@^{=~<?
They served me that @@@^{=~<?, but they never told me it had ;-0)08^|' in it, they did tell me it was made from leftovers though, so maybe the ;-0)08^|' was added only as seasoning.

How many greys did it take to serve the meal?

zoobyshoe

Aug26-03, 08:20 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How many greys did it take to serve the meal?

I think you should be more concerned with how many greys
the meal was comprised of!
Haven't you heard the expression:
"Old Greys never die, they just taste that way."?

If you were an old Grey, and it
was getting toward...mealtime,
would you put your house in order
or "Rage, Rage against the dying
of the light..."?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug26-03, 08:29 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If you were an old Grey, and it was getting toward...mealtime, would you put your house in order or "Rage, Rage against the dying of the light..."?
That's funny they told me an "old grey" was an oxymoron. (that must be why it tasted like that, Hummmmm, yummy!!!, ooops!!! did I say that out loud??)

At what age are grey babies conceived?

zoobyshoe

Aug26-03, 08:41 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
At what age are grey babies conceived?

Grey babies are concieved at about
the age of thirty-eight. Birth
happens soon after at age fourteen
and puberty, which starts at three
months, is ongoing throughout
their lifetimes. At age twenty-
four they are able to babble a
phoneme or two but don't become
loquacious till sometime in the
second post mortem year when it's
all a mother can do to shut them
up.

Since greys have no teeth, just a
bridge of undifferentiated cart-
iledge, how do they chew their
fingernails so skillfully?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug27-03, 08:57 AM

Originally asked by The Honorary Grey, zoobyshoe
Since greys have no teeth, just a bridge of undifferentiated cart-iledge, how do they chew their fingernails so skillfully?
I called one of them, and asked, he(?) told me that they use their rectal set of dentures for fingernails trimmings.

When cleaning their dentures, the rectal set, what is employed?

zoobyshoe

Aug27-03, 09:25 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When cleaning their dentures, the rectal set, what is employed?

Only their gastro-enteroloist
knows for sure.

No one else wants to know.

A grey space alien Rabbi and a grey space alien Priest go into a
grey space alien bar. The grey
space alien bartender says "How
many fingers?", and demonstrates
two of the four on his right hand.

The grey space alien Rabbi says
"Why the long face?" and the grey
space alien Priest says "Anywhere
he wants to sit!"

Just then, a grey space alien
Minister rushes in, out of breath
and shouts "It's a cookbook!"

The grey space alien Rabbi turns
to confront the grey space alien
Minister, and, his voice dripping
with sarcasm, says...?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug27-03, 12:42 PM

Originally communicated from outer spaaaaaaaaaace
A grey space alien Rabbi and a grey space alien Priest go into a grey space alien bar. The grey space alien bartender says "How many fingers?", and demonstrates two of the four on his right hand.
The grey space alien Rabbi says "Why the long face?" and the grey space alien Priest says "Anywhere he wants to sit!"
Just then, a grey space alien Minister rushes in, out of breath and shouts "It's a cookbook!"
The grey space alien Rabbi turns to confront the grey space alien Minister, and, his voice dripping with sarcasm, says...?
Oye Vey, you look the color of a Human's "smoked meat", now sit on the fingers, eat the book, and shut up with that long face already!

How can there be grey space alien ministers, priests, and rabbi's, when the greys profess a theism that worships only one creator's word!

zoobyshoe

Aug27-03, 01:05 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How can there be grey space alien ministers, priests, and rabbi's, when the greys profess a theism that worships only one creator's word!

The solution to this apparent
contradiction lies in a glance
at the calendar that is hanging
on the wall behind the grey space
alien bar where stardate coordin-
ates clearly show it is "Imitate
an Earth Religious Authority
Figure Day."

Grey space aliens are possed of
blood pressure that measures a
monotonous systolic .077699 over
diastolic .0072311 as measured
by any observer in any coordinate
system rigid body frame of refer-
ence no matter how high the obser-
vers own blood pressure seems to
be. This being the case (BP=C)
how do greys know when they're
exited? (Incidently, their rods
aren't as short as they look. It's
the result of Lorentz shrinkage.)

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug27-03, 01:19 PM

Originally communicated from an inner space, zoobyshoe's
Grey space aliens are possed of blood pressure that measures a monotonous systolic .077699 over diastolic .0072311 as measured by any observer in any coordinate system rigid body frame of reference no matter how high the observers own blood pressure seems to be. This being the case (BP=C) how do greys know when they're exited?
(Incidently, their rods aren't as short as they look. It's the result of Lorentz shrinkage.)
Well they know that they are exited because the fornix of the cranium does a message replay to the amygdala, therein starting a function of neurotransmission that arouses the rod into a distended position that precludes any changes in BP, other then to have accelerated their hearts to a point where, had it not been for that fixed Bp, they would have imploded, by explosion, of rigid members.

Since we know that greys have very large brains, why is it that they haven't the cardiac capacity to match that?

zoobyshoe

Aug27-03, 01:42 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Since we know that greys have very large brains, why is it that they haven't the cardiac capacity to match that?

This is due to the fact that they
sustain their brains, not from
oxygen rich blood, but from Nitrous Oxide which is generated
in a bladder located north of
the uncinate gyrus and southeast
of the Hippo Campus (Hippo Univer-
sity, S.C.) all of which is inclu-
ded under the categorization The
Limbo System.

Last week some grey space aliens
knocked on my door and asked to
borrow a cup of %%k:""<`}+{oQ
I said "Hell, No!, you're all
clearly underaged! Do you think
I did the right thing?

Sonty

Aug28-03, 03:54 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Last week some grey space aliens
knocked on my door and asked to
borrow a cup of %%k:""<`}+{oQ
I said "Hell, No!, you're all
clearly underaged! Do you think
I did the right thing?

Probably not especially if they had their vaporizers on them. If they didn't break your molecular structure you may call yourself lucky. The grey kiddies are nowadays very vindicative. You should have taken a cup of (*&&&^%~``| and mix it with a t-spoon of *7^QVB#&@@! and give it to them. They wouldn't feel the difference because of their lack of sensory glands on the bottom of their tongue. After a few hours they all will have to go to the newly cleaned and closed space toilet and the commander and their parents would have understood they tried to drink some of that %%k:""<`}+{oQ, but a smart earthling has given them (*&&&^%~``| with *7^QVB#&@@! instead.

At what age do greys become over-aged for %%k:""<`}+{oQ?

zoobyshoe

Aug28-03, 08:29 AM

Originally posted by Sonty
At what age do greys become over-aged for %%k:""<`}+{oQ?

This is hotly debated. Some greys
spend their spare time accerler-
ating their flying discs to near
light speed, turning around and
accelerating back in order to
look younger than they actually
are simply to extent their %%k:""}
+{oQ priviledges past the legal
age.
Some grey space attourneys argue
that if they look younger they
areyouger.Others argue that
their priviledges should be revok-
ed simply because they tried to
cheat.
In the end, no one wishes for a
acceleration to near C velocity
more than Cher.

If I am a grey space alien parent
what signs should I look for that
my teenaged grey space alien child
has been drinking %%k:""}={oQ ?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug28-03, 09:08 AM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
If I am a grey space alien parent what signs should I look for that
my teenaged grey space alien child has been drinking %%k:""}={oQ ?
Change of hue, usually, a 'subtler' shade of grey.

Is it an irony, a coincidence, or a subtle hint, that the book on human anatomy, is called "Grey's anatomy"?

zoobyshoe

Aug28-03, 09:28 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is it an irony, a coincidence, or a subtle hint, that the book on human anatomy, is called "Grey's anatomy"?

There is a small army of ironologists, coincientalists, and
hintalogians devoting every waking moment to this very question
behind closed doors and under hea-
vy guard at area 51. The President
himself, calls impatiently, on a
regular basis to ask "Well? Is it
a cookbook?"

A few months ago a gaggle of grey
space aliens knocked on my door
and asked if I'd heard the Word of
Parson's. I said, "Don't you mean
`Parsons"? Why the possessive and
incorrect possessive at that?"
They were astonished that I could
hear the difference and withdrew
quickly in fear.
Should I report them to Religious
Authorities or to the Grammar
division of the Men In Black?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug28-03, 12:24 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
A few months ago a gaggle of grey space aliens knocked on my door and asked if I'd heard the Word ofParson's. I said, "Don't you mean `Parsons"? Why the possessive and incorrect possessive at that?" They were astonished that I could hear the difference and withdrew quickly in fear.
Should I report them to Religious Authorities or to the Grammar division of the Men In Black?
None of the above, as my first name is Robin (the Hood) Parsons, and my band of 'merry' men, will be around, shortly, to rectify this problem.

How come evey time zoobyshoe, and myself, meet with greys, neither of us collects any proof of their existance as to be able demonstrate it to all of the rest of you?
(conspiracy thoeries abound, we want the truth!)

zoobyshoe

Aug28-03, 02:25 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How come evey time zoobyshoe, and myself, meet with greys, neither of us collects any proof of their existance as to be able demonstrate it to all of the rest of you?
(conspiracy thoeries abound, we want the truth!)

Who are you talkin' to?

Are you talking to me?

Well, there's nobody else in this
thread so you must be talkin' to me!

Speaking of Robert DeNiro: Is it
true that Ivan Seeking once posted
a thread in M & P S containg a
link to a newsstory in which a
grey space alien single mother
claimed Mr. DeNiro was the God-
father of her baby and was suing
him for failure to protect the
child from the talking Mr.Ed head
wrapped in newspaper that they had
recieved as change when driving
through a tollbooth?

Tsu

Aug28-03, 02:44 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Who are you talkin' to?

Are you talking to me?

Well, there's nobody else in this
thread so you mustbe talkin' to me!

Speaking of Robert DeNiro: Is it
true that Ivan Seeking once posted
a thread in M & P S containg a
link to a newsstory in which a
grey space alien single mother
claimed Mr. DeNiro was the God-
father of her baby and was suing
him for failure to protect the
child from the talking Mr.Ed head
wrapped in newspaper that they had
recieved as change when driving
through a tollbooth?

Yes and no.

Why DON'T Zooby and RP collect evidence of the greys? Are they PART of the conspiracy theory??? Especially Zooby!! Being an Honorary Grey Space Alien and all... How'd you GET that title, Zoob? Did you bribe them with marshmallows or maybe a cup of %%k:""<`}+{oQ?

Ivan Seeking

Aug28-03, 02:46 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Who are you talkin' to?

Are you talking to me?

Well, there's nobody else in this
thread so you must be talkin' to me!

Speaking of Robert DeNiro: Is it
true that Ivan Seeking once posted
a thread in M & P S containg a
link to a newsstory in which a
grey space alien single mother
claimed Mr. DeNiro was the God-
father of her baby and was suing
him for failure to protect the
child from the talking Mr.Ed head
wrapped in newspaper that they had
recieved as change when driving
through a tollbooth?

No. It was Nero, not DeNiro.

Do we now know the true lineage of the Honorary Grey Space Alien???

zoobyshoe

Aug28-03, 03:27 PM

Originally posted by Tsunami
Why DON'T Zooby and RP collect evidence of the greys? Are they PART of the conspiracy theory??? Especially Zooby!! Being an Honorary Grey Space Alien and all... How'd you GET that title, Zoob? Did you bribe them with marshmallows or maybe a cup of %%k:""<`}+{oQ?

Me stoop to bribery? It
was gross flattery.

Nero, that's right! I had them
confused because they're both
well known War Of 1812 buffs.

In a link to a news article posted
in M & PS by Ivan Seeking a woman
in Taterberg, Idaho reported that
her lawn was routinly cut by grey
space aliens without her permis
sion, and that they were gathering
the clippings and stuffing them
into her septic tank. She hoped
that by talking to the press she
could encourage any others with
the same problem to come forward.
However, no one has. What steps
should she take now, to handle
this problem?

Tsu

Aug28-03, 03:42 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Me stoop to bribery? It
was gross flattery.

How gross was it?

Nero, that's right! I had them
confused because they're both
well known War Of 1812 buffs.

You are SO amazing! How many people KNOW this kind of stuff?

In a link to a news article posted
in M & PS by Ivan Seeking a woman
in Taterberg, Idaho reported that
her lawn was routinly cut by grey
space aliens without her permis
sion, and that they were gathering
the clippings and stuffing them
into her septic tank. She hoped
that by talking to the press she
could encourage any others with
the same problem to come forward.
However, no one has. What steps
should she take now, to handle
this problem?

Um... Grey Space Alien Roto Rooter? Hey! How'd they stuff those grass clippings in the septic tank, anyway? Wouldn't that be kinda hard to do -- unless maybe they're Changlings? Hey! Zooby! Are you a Changling (too?)?

Tsu

Aug28-03, 03:44 PM

Sorry I ask so many stupid quetions. I'm just very inquisitive.

zoobyshoe

Aug28-03, 04:02 PM

Originally posted by Tsunami

You are SO amazing! How many people KNOW this kind of stuff?

I pick this info up from Herman J.
Swivlschuck's well researched masterpiece: Nero and DeNiro:The Similarities

Um... Grey Space Alien Roto Rooter? Hey! How'd they stuff those grass clippings in the septic tank, anyway? Wouldn't that be kinda hard to do -- unless maybe they're Changlings? Hey! Zooby! Are you a Changling (too?)?

I am a mere Zooby.

In a link to an article posted by
Ivan Seeking in M & PS local auth-
orities in Cornhile, Nebraska are
puzzled by reports of silo-tipping
being carried out at night by what
appear to be flying discs. A later
story, however, reported the arrest of local teenager Bubba-Bob
Jackson, who was apprehended in
the act of perpetrating a silo-
tipping by means of a length of
rope, a board, and a Frisbee. Why
wasn't this follow up story ever
posted in M & PS?

Ivan Seeking

Aug28-03, 09:03 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I am a mere Zooby.

Not just mere Zooby; the shoe of the Zooby. The reeeeally big Shooo.

In a link to an article posted by
Ivan Seeking in M & PS local auth-
orities in Cornhile, Nebraska are
puzzled by reports of silo-tipping
being carried out at night by what
appear to be flying discs. A later
story, however, reported the arrest of local teenager Bubba-Bob
Jackson, who was apprehended in
the act of perpetrating a silo-
tipping by means of a length of
rope, a board, and a Frisbee. Why
wasn't this follow up story ever
posted in M & PS?

See attachment for your answer. [It may take some time to appear]
Is Zooby being mind controlled by blue aliens who only make him think he is a gray?

zoobyshoe

Aug28-03, 09:37 PM

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Is Zooby being mind controlled by blue aliens who only make him think he is a gray?

{See attachment for answer.}
{It may take a while to show up}
{So don't hold your breath}

In M & PS Ivan Seeking posted a
link to a news story concerning
a man who claimed to have woken
up one morning to find a crop
circle had formed during the
night in his pubic hair. Photos
of the phenomenon show the hairs
laid down in a neat circular pattern about 7/8 of an inch in
diameter. Arguments against it
being a hoax won many points when
several high ranking physics
students using the traditional
hoaxer's tools of a board and a
rope were unable to reproduce the
phenomenon.

Although undoubedly of extra-terr-
estrial origin, is the term "crop
circle" really accurate in this
situation?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug29-03, 08:32 AM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
Although undoubedly of extra-terrestrial origin, is the term "crop circle" really accurate in this situation?
Sorta, I told them that the right way to do it was "cutting" it, that way it's a "cropped circle"!

What do "greys" do, when the meet "blues"?

zoobyshoe

Aug29-03, 11:30 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do "greys" do, when the meet "blues"?

As stated earlier "greys" don't
"get" the "blues" unless BB (Big
Bang) king is there to translate.
Otherwise the "blues" just confuse
them.

The film Close Encounters Of
The Third Kind disseminated
the information that mashed pot-
tato sculpture was an excellent
mnemonic device for recalling
deeply imbedded grey space alien
information. I'm curious if anyone
knows what effect, if any, this
had on potato sales in the years
since the film was released?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Aug29-03, 12:13 PM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
The film Close Encounters Of The Third Kind disseminated the information that mashed potato sculpture was an excellent mnemonic device for recalling deeply imbedded grey space alien information. I'm curious if anyone knows what effect, if any, this had on potato sales in the years since the film was released?
Well if it did, it is a misnomer, as it is really "Carolina Spring Beauties" (the 'Ground nut' from those) that is actually the mnemonic device that works, and those kind of 'spuds' simply are not sold anywhere. You would need to go out into the forest and collect them for yourselves. (yes! they are yummy!)

Does the grey's spacecraft, the one parked out in area 51, have it's parking brake set??

P.S. zoobyshoe, do you have any more of that %%k:""<`}, could you fax me some of it (or e-mail it, I don't care how I get my hands on it) cause last time I imbibed in some I had such wild dreams I actually thought that the marshmellow worms, on the marshmellow farms, were really just bales of hay wrapped in a plastic membrane that allowed them to dry, and the the giant marshmellows themselves were simply single bales wrapped similarily. WOW!! what a "ride" that was, so if you still have some LEMME KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....Thanks

zoobyshoe

Aug29-03, 12:48 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Does the grey's spacecraft, the one parked out in area 51, have it's parking brake set??

An extensively trained team of the
most skilled decelerationists, re-
tardologists, and dawdlers is at
work at this moment teasing the
answer to your question out of the
phenomenally intricate mechanisms,
a quest that has been complicated further by the inadvertant spil-
lage of a soft drink.

P.S. zoobyshoe, do you have any more of that %%k:""<`}, could you fax me some of it (or e-mail it, I don't care how I get my hands on it) cause last time I imbibed in some I had such wild dreams I actually thought that the marshmellow worms, on the marshmellow farms, were really just bales of hay wrapped in a plastic membrane that allowed them to dry, and the the giant marshmellows themselves were simply single bales wrapped similarily. WOW!! what a "ride" that was, so if you still have some LEMME KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....Thanks

Go into any grey space alien bar,
ask to see "Mr. Plismo". They'll
know what you mean.

zoobyshoe

Aug29-03, 05:17 PM

Next Question:

In 1905 an unknown German/Swiss
patent examiner published a
a physics theory based, in part,
on the absurd stipulation of two
bolts of lightning simultaneously
striking a railroad track at
regular, predictable intervals,
and whose simultaneity could be
proven given the possession of two identical clocks keeping precisely
the same time.

What quantity of %%k;""]+[oQ would
the average earthling need to
drink before all individual light-
nig bolts appeared to be two
simultaneous events and all clocks
appeared to be two perfectly
synchronized clocks?

Tsu

Aug29-03, 10:20 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
P.S. zoobyshoe, do you have any more of that %%k:""<`}, could you fax me some of it (or e-mail it, I don't care how I get my hands on it) cause last time I imbibed in some I had such wild dreams I actually thought that the marshmellow worms, on the marshmellow farms, were really just bales of hay wrapped in a plastic membrane that allowed them to dry, and the the giant marshmellows themselves were simply single bales wrapped similarily. WOW!! what a "ride" that was, so if you still have some LEMME KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....Thanks

Um, Mr. Robin Parsons, I don't think that was a dream. I've seen such marshmallow farms somewhere outside Texarkana (sometimes called Arken-***). And I think there's a Great Flags somewhere close by. I've heard that they sell %%k:""<`} there (at Great Flags) but you'll have to check it out yourself, cuz I'm not touching that stuff! Haven't you seen that commercial where they scramble an egg saying 'this is your brain on drugs'? Don't go there, RP. It's a damn ugly picture!!
REMEMBER!! JUST SAY NO!!!

Tsu

Aug29-03, 10:22 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Next Question:

What quantity of %%k;""]+[oQ would
the average earthling need to
drink before all individual light-
nig bolts appeared to be two
simultaneous events and all clocks
appeared to be two perfectly
synchronized clocks?

Don't know, Zoob, but I think YOU'VE had quite enough!!

Sonty

Aug31-03, 10:57 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What quantity of %%k;""]+[oQ would
the average earthling need to
drink before all individual light-
nig bolts appeared to be two
simultaneous events and all clocks
appeared to be two perfectly
synchronized clocks?

The important thing here is that "all" lightnings and "all" clocks must appear as "two". First of all an average earthling can never do this. It must be a man who repairs clocks for a living and those clocks will be symbols for the eternal fight between good and evil in his mind. Now, after about 20 years of work in this field it wouldn't take very much %%k;""]+[oQ to achieve this sensation. The part with the lightinings on the other hand is a hole different fish soup. He'd have to walk along a railroad, at midnight, with a dead cat in the right hand and a live rooster in his left, to swing the cat over his head and throw the rooster over the fence of a graveyard. In the effort he would have to slip and hit his head against a rock. Now a train would have to pass and blind him with its lights. he will now see the dead cat rise up and run for exactly 66.6 meters where it would be hit by two simultaneous lightnings.
At least this is what my Future Analyzer says. Unfortuantely it has a problem. When I came back from the door where the commander of the GSS Borky27 handed it to me as a thank you for letting them use my private distillery to prepare some 100 liters of %%k;""]+[oQ (deh! it was the birthday of the commander's son), I got distracted by the sudden noise of the ship flying by, I tripped and I droped the Future Analyzer. Since then it doesn't show the numbers clearly. i guess a few cristals are broken. I think it says something like 420, 428, 42.0 or 42.8. And there's another problem: the units are all screwed up. I think it shows the result in "fr."

How much is 1fr. in earth units and what's the name of this fr. unit?

zoobyshoe

Aug31-03, 11:26 AM

Originally posted by Sonty
How much is 1fr. in earth units and what's the name of this fr. unit?

1fr.in earth units is equal to 17
metric seconds. This fr. unit (the
one you were specifically refer-
ing to) is named "Bob".

In M & PS Ivan Seeking posted a
link to a news story about a man
in Mareston, Wyoming who, upon
investigating a strange noise one
night found a group of Grey space
aliens out on his patio eating his
cat's food. Reporters quoted the
man as having said, "At least they
weren't eating the cat."

Do grey space aliens ever actually
eat cats?

Sonty

Aug31-03, 12:05 PM

Why do you think they blast them with two simultaneous lightnings? Roast - good. Bloody - not so good, but it quiets down the hunger.

How many Honorary Grey Space Aliens does it take to take down a cat by striking it with 2 simultaneous lightnings? Is it really worth it?

zoobyshoe

Aug31-03, 12:23 PM

Originally posted by Sonty
How many Honorary Grey Space Aliens does it take to take down a cat by striking it with 2 simultaneous lightnings? Is it really worth it?

Honorary grey space aliens only
hurl simultaneous lightning bolts
at Erwin Schrodinger. We like to
make him dance.

In M & PS Ivan Seeking posted a
link to a newsstory about a boy
in Lotsahoochi, Florida who wit-
nessed a flying disc abduct a
gator that was sunning itself on
a sand bar in a river. As if in
exchange, the disc deposited three
disoriented nuns in the gators
place.

Why would the grey space aliens
rather have a gator than a nun?

Ivan Seeking

Aug31-03, 03:33 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Why would the grey space aliens
rather have a gator than a nun?

Abducted nuns often come with dirty habbits.

What are the qualities of the new alien-gator hybrids?

zoobyshoe

Aug31-03, 04:43 PM

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
What are the qualities of the new alien-gator hybrids?

They look just like aliens, but
they know how to make mud nests.

In M & PS Ivan Seeking posted a
link to a article in which a
Utah man complained of nightly
visits from grey space aliens who
were interfering with his live-
stock by teaching them table man-
ners. He said he was no longer
able to get them to eat out of
a trough.
What other advanced knowledge is
being disseminated in secret by
this superior race?

Tsu

Aug31-03, 05:14 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
They look just like aliens, but
they know how to make mud nests.

In M & PS Ivan Seeking posted a
link to a article in which a
Utah man complained of nightly
visits from grey space aliens who
were interfering with his live-
stock by teaching them table man-
ners. He said he was no longer
able to get them to eat out of
a trough.
What other advanced knowledge is
being disseminated in secret by
this superior race?

Probably how to party with Boozy Hoes!

What is the true meaning of Boozy Hoes?

zoobyshoe

Aug31-03, 10:15 PM

Originally posted by Tsunami
What is the true meaning of Boozy Hoes?

That kind of insight can only be
acquired after you go hype a gnu.
Which isn't as easy as it sounds.

Is it true that in M & PS Ivan
Seeking posted a link to an
article in which an early morning
surfer in Venice, Ca. was reported
to have been arrested for disord-
erly behaviour and foul language
which he attributed to having had
his wave stolen by a grey space
alien on a longboard?

Ivan Seeking

Sep1-03, 01:13 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
That kind of insight can only be
acquired after you go hype a gnu.
Which isn't as easy as it sounds.

Is it true that in M & PS Ivan
Seeking posted a link to an
article in which an early morning
surfer in Venice, Ca. was reported
to have been arrested for disord-
erly behaviour and foul language
which he attributed to having had
his wave stolen by a grey space
alien on a longboard?

Ya right Boozy Hoes. Like a 4ft, 50LB grey would use a longboard.

What is the exact difference between a Boozy Hoe and a grey?
[gnu hyping does not count!]

zoobyshoe

Sep1-03, 01:47 AM

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
What is the exact difference between a Boozy Hoe and a grey?
[gnu hyping does not count!]
Boozy Hoes don't surf.

In the skys over the English Chan-
nel in 1944, B-17 pilot Chuck
Brunell 25, of Winterburn Minne-
sota witnessed a spectacular dis-
play of the legendary "Foo Fight-
er" lights when they whooshed in
front of his crippled and burning
plane and spelled out the words:
"Your turn signal is on!"

What are the signifigant
differences between a "Foo-
Fighter" and a "Flying Disc"?

Tsu

Sep1-03, 02:14 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Boozy Hoes don't surf.

In the skys over the English Chan-
nel in 1944, B-17 pilot Chuck
Brunell 25, of Winterburn Minne-
sota witnessed a spectacular dis-
play of the legendary "Foo Fight-
er" lights when they whooshed in
front of his crippled and burning
plane and spelled out the words:
"Your turn signal is on!"

What are the signifigant
differences between a "Foo-
Fighter" and a "Flying Disc"?

Flying discs don't have turn signals (or horns for that matter - can't hear 'em in space).

If Boozy Hoes don't surf, how the heck can they have any fun? Do they at least water ski?

zoobyshoe

Sep1-03, 03:05 AM

Originally posted by Tsunami
If Boozy Hoes don't surf, how the heck can they have any fun? Do they at least water ski?
They enjoy listening to Lieder,
especially Schubert, while they
groom each other and eat the lice.

Several months ago my doorbell
rang while I was in the shower.
Figuring it was probably the usu-
al grey space alien %%k;""}+{oQ
pedlers I ignored it. Later I
found a note attached to the door
that said "I know what you did
last summer."

What had I done and how did they
know?

Tsu

Sep1-03, 11:48 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
They enjoy listening to Lieder,
especially Schubert, while they
groom each other and eat the lice.

Several months ago my doorbell
rang while I was in the shower.
Figuring it was probably the usu-
al grey space alien %%k;""}+{oQ
pedlers I ignored it. Later I
found a note attached to the door
that said "I know what you did
last summer."

What had I done and how did they
know?

You donned your Honorary Grey Space Alien suit and went surfing on a longboard - which is how this grey/longboard confusion got started in the first place. Now, it appears, mass hysteria is setting in and there are increased 'sightings' - unless you had just a little too much %%k;""}+{oQ to drink and did it again THIS summer - leading to this latest sighting. They know this because THEY KNOW EVERYTHING!!

HOW do they know everything?

selfAdjoint

Sep1-03, 12:43 PM

Because the complement of everything is nothing, and they don't know nothing, so by contrapositive...

Could this thread be called the result of little grey matter?

zoobyshoe

Sep2-03, 12:20 AM

Originally posted by selfAdjoint
Because the complement of everything is nothing, and they don't know nothing, so by contrapositive...
This answer demonstrates an above
average insight into the grey
space alien mentality

Could this thread be called the result of little grey matter?
It's funny you should ask because
if you translate the phrase "lit-
tle grey matter" into the grey
space alien language you get:"=**
$@6^^^}^^#oL***@)>", which, you
will immediately recognize, is a
triple pun if you emphasize the
seventh, instead of the fifth,
syllable. So the answer is yes.

In the most recent issue of
True UFO magazine a letter
from Doris and Sidney Munsen, of
Gobehinder, Arkansas laments the
dissapearance of their pet swine,
Horace and Sandra, who disappeared
one night, after the Munsen's had
observed strange lights in the
evening sky. The Munsens were
writing to appeal to all regular
abductees to be on the lookout
for the pigs during their next
abduction experiences and to ap-
peal to them to come home.

Why is it the Munsens were so sure
the Horace and Sandra had left
voluntarily?

FZ+

Sep2-03, 07:31 AM

Because Horace and Sandra were no normal pigs, but the product of years of secret government research to create what we may term "the Super Soldier". As a result of gene manipulation and bionic enhancements, these have gained the ability to hack into computer networks, dodge bullets, fly, hold high offices in the US government as well to leave nicely handwritten notes to their owners on departure.

What sort of mad fiend would create such foul abominations?

zoobyshoe

Sep2-03, 10:41 AM

Originally posted by FZ+
What sort of mad fiend would create such foul abominations?
Clearly, the mad fiend behind this
kind of enterprise would require
and underground lair of immense
capacity well stocked with all the
latest mad fiend technology. He
would be the kind of mad fiend
who surrounds himself with "hench-
men". He probably can't get enough
of "henchmen". Preferably ones of
decidedly inferior intellect,
whenever possible. He would be the
kind of mad fiend who, born with-
out any particular vocal tics or
strange "signature" habits of his
own would adopt some. He would,
worst of all, not be above mental
cruelty to animals: witness the
names he inflicted on the poor
porcine duo.

In the Christmas issue of True
UFO magazine Christmas Eve
abuctee Christopher Swezey, 37, of
Sheepshear, New Zealand, relates
to readers how every Christmas
Eve he and his sister Charlotte
used to be abducted from their
rural home by unseen beings and
taken to a large departement store
in London where they were permit-
ted by these beings to play with
wonderful toys of every kind unill
sunup when they were whisked back
to their beds.

Is their anything grey space
aliens won't sink to for a little
positive P.R.?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep2-03, 04:46 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Clearly, the mad fiend behind this kind of enterprise would require and underground lair of immense capacity well stocked with all the latest mad fiend technology. He would be the kind of mad fiend who surrounds himself with "henchmen". He probably can't get enough of "henchmen". Preferably ones of decidedly inferior intellect, whenever possible. He would be the kind of mad fiend who, born without any particular vocal tics or strange "signature" habits of his
own would adopt some. He would, worst of all, not be above mental cruelty to animals: witness the names he inflicted on the poor porcine duo. Dang! think Ya found me out have ya?, Heh heh heh!!!!

In the Christmas issue of True UFO magazine Christmas Eve abuctee Christopher Swezey, 37, of Sheepshear, New Zealand, relates to readers how every Christmas Eve he and his sister Charlotte used to be abducted from their rural home by unseen beings and taken to a large departement store in London where they were permitted by these beings to play with wonderful toys of every kind unill sunup when they were whisked backto their beds.

Is their anything grey space aliens won't sink to for a little positive P.R.?
Yes, actual/substantive proof of them having been here, actual sex, (if you only knew, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!) rather then just that probative stuff, and telling me the damn keycode for the spacecraft!

When flying an grey alien spacecraft, is it bad manners to ask you host to pay for the fuel?

zoobyshoe

Sep2-03, 05:34 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Yes, actual/substantive proof of them having been here, actual sex, (if you only knew, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!) rather then just that probative stuff, and telling me the damn keycode for the spacecraft!
You're still quite high, aren't
you!

When flying an grey alien spacecraft, is it bad manners to ask you host to pay for the fuel?
Although it certainly reflects
well on you that you ask, the av-
erage grey space alien has no con-
cept of manners that could be as-
saulted by any word or action on
your part. Likewise, they have no
monetary system, and no conception
that anything must be paid for
beyond what we tell them. To the
extent they tend to expropriate
fuel by whatever means is at hand
it is better not to complicate
things by suggesting there is any
protocol they should be observing.

In the March 1999 issue of True
UFO magazine an interview with
an anonymous informant who called
the magazine from behind closed
doors at the Pentagon revealed
among other astonishing facts,
that, in the year 2000 the reins
of the government were to be hand-
ed over to grey space alien high
command as the result of an unfor-
tunate hand in a pokergame. What
remarkable turn of events prevent-
ed this transfer from ever occur-
ing?

FZ+

Sep2-03, 06:34 PM

They realised we were offering the governance of Earth, not Irtx as they had previously assumed.

Why do all aliens speak english?

zoobyshoe

Sep2-03, 07:48 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
Why do all aliens speak english?
Que? Que dices? Lo siento, no
comprendo.

When going bowling with grey space
alien companions do yours prefer
to be the pins or the balls?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep3-03, 12:20 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
When going bowling with grey space alien companions do yours prefer to be the pins or the balls?
Ha Ha funny guy, EVERYONE KNOWS grey aliens don't bowl!

Last time I was out bowling, with the grey aliens, one of them asked me if it was possible for a human to replicate with a grey, so, is it possible?

J-Man

Sep3-03, 10:54 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Last time I was out bowling, with the grey aliens, one of them asked me if it was possible for a human to replicate with a grey, so, is it possible?
No, their DNA is made of M&Ms. (The alien's DNA that is, we all know human DNA is made from cardboard.)

What would happen if I didn't ask a quetion involving aliens?

zoobyshoe

Sep3-03, 11:21 PM

Originally posted by J-Man
What would happen if I didn't ask a quetion involving aliens?
My guess is that interest in the
thread might pick up considerably,
it might return to being an ent-
tertaining game, and humanity in
general might evolve to the next
level. So everyone, please, do
your best to make sure none of
that happens.

In the Jan. 2001 issue of Com-
pletely Unbiased and Documented
Ghost Stories Magazine Herb
Stillweather of Shingleshack, Iowa
reported having been visited by
the apparition of his dead ancest-
or Caleb "Injun Joe" Stillweather
who taught Herb how to tell where
to dig for underground springs
using two bent pieces of coat-
hanger and a quartz crystal sus-
pended from a silver chain. Using
these devices Herb was able to
calculate the exact number of grey
space aliens that can fit into a
phone booth after having
swallowed their capacity of gold
fish. Given these documented facts
what is the exact species of tree
found in the wood pulp that makes
up the cardboard of which Human
DNA is comprised?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep4-03, 12:28 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
In the Jan. 2001 issue of Completely Unbiased and Documented Ghost Stories Magazine Herb Stillweather of Shingleshack, Iowa reported having been visited by the apparition of his dead ancestor Caleb "Injun Joe" Stillweather who taught Herb how to tell where to dig for underground springs using two bent pieces of coathanger and a quartz crystal suspended from a silver chain. Using these devices Herb was able to calculate the exact number of grey space aliens that can fit into a phone booth after having swallowed their capacity of goldfish. Given these documented facts what is the exact species of tree found in the wood pulp that makes up the cardboard of which Human DNA is comprised?
A composite of Larch, Pine, and Stripped Maple, for the stiffness, the suppleness, and the taste! (respectively)
(Zoobyshoe, where do you get your sources? WOW what quetions!)

So how many grey aliens can fit into a phone booth, after having swallowed their capacity of goldfish, and how many pre-fish?

zoobyshoe

Sep4-03, 01:59 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So how many grey aliens can fit into a phone booth, after having swallowed their capacity of goldfish, and how many pre-fish?
I have checked, double checked,and
triple checked the article and no-
where does it actually give the
numbers Herb Stillweather came up
with. This is a disapointment
given the extrordinary usefullness
that information could have to
anyone contemplating the use of a
phone booth as a dual purpose
storage unit for grey space aliens
and goldfish.

In the July 2002 issue of Com-
pletely Unbiased and Documented
Ghost Stories Magazine, Mr.
Bauder B. Bauder, 39, of Sinkwaste
New Jersy reported that his house
seemed to have become the gather-
ing place of several pernicious
poltergeists who were manifesting
themselves by dressing him in wom-
an's clothing while he slept. He
further reported that on one oc-
casion they drove him to a motel
and handcuffed him to a toilet.
Using these troubling personal
experiences as a premise Bauder
penned his first novel The
Sinkwaste Incident soon to be
published by Completely Un-
biased And Documented Ghost Stor-
ies Press. With these facts in
hand how many grey space aliens
can a goldfish swallow after hav-
ing stared at them long enough to
collapse their wave function?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep4-03, 02:50 PM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
In the July 2002 issue of Completely Unbiased and Documented Ghost Stories Magazine, Mr. Bauder B. Bauder, 39, of Sinkwaste New Jersy reported that his house seemed to have become the gathering place of several pernicious poltergeists who were manifesting themselves by dressing him in woman's clothing while he slept. He further reported that on one occasion they drove him to a motel and handcuffed him to a toilet.
Using these troubling personal experiences as a premise Bauder penned his first novel The Sinkwaste Incident soon to be published by Completely Unbiased And Documented Ghost Stories Press. With these facts in hand how many grey space aliens can a goldfish swallow after having stared at them long enough to collapse their wave function?
Completely irrelevant, I talked to Mr. Bauder, just the other day, and he told me that he had made up the entire event history, and was doing all of it simply to counteract the good PR that the greys have been achieving from this sites running humor sphere. That said, the goldfish told me that the staring required to collapse the greys wavefunction was an indirect property of the disproportinate ability of said fishes to breath nitrogen out of water, hence the number of greys swallowed by any given goldfish in any given amount of time is still indeterminant as the gold fish have adamantly refused to suffuse themselve with nitrogen, (causes them to laugh to hard and they then swallow water)

How much "nitrogen" (NO2) does it take to make a grey laugh?

zoobyshoe

Sep4-03, 03:19 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How much"nitrogen"(NO2) does it take to make a grey laugh?
Not much at all. As soon as one
inhales some and it begins to
react with the moisture in his
body to become nitric acid his
companions begin to laugh uproar-
iously and the prank they've play-
ed on him. It is their cruel way
of saying he should have known the
difference between NO2
and N2O.

Last night the doorbell rang and
it was yet another grey space
alien asking me if I'd heard the
"Word of Parsons". I told him that
there were times I was in direct
communication with "Parsons" and
did not need his grey space alien
interpretation of information that
was available to me on a first
hand basis. He called me a "blas-
phemer" and stormed back to his
bicycle. I noticed he was riding
an excellent brand new Pugeot. It
reminded me that every time I've
seen a grey on a bike it was a
Peugeot.

What is it about French technology
that so attracts their interest?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep4-03, 05:29 PM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
Last night the doorbell rang and it was yet another grey space alien asking me if I'd heard the "Word of Parsons". I told him that there were times I was in direct communication with "Parsons" and did not need his grey space alien interpretation of information that was available to me on a firsthand basis. He called me a "blasphemer" and stormed back to his bicycle. I noticed he was riding an excellent brand new Pugeot. It reminded me that every time I've seen a grey on a bike it was a Peugeot.
What is it about French technology that so attracts their interest?
There ancient historical ties to the region, as evidenced by many a feature of French living, the eating of snails, the drinking of red wine, (without whining, the grey's have a hard time with that one) that Eiffel Tower thing blew them away for technological advancement, (in it's time) the eating of cheeses and pate foie gras, and most importantly French women! (they love ea...Oooops, wrong age limit)

Just got in a note from the greys, (talk about your mail at the "speed of thought!!") about you zoobyshoe, they want to know why, when quoted them about the "Word of Parsons", you dropped the "the", they told me they said; "The Word of The Parsons" and insisted that this is an extremely important ommision on your part, so can anyone tell me why zoobyshoe dropped the 'the'??

zoobyshoe

Sep6-03, 04:39 AM

Your scurrilous informants are
grossly distorting the facts and
are clearly on a mission of unmit-
igated obfuscation. Reviewing the
surveillance tapes I routinely
make when answering the door I
find that the exact words used by
this knave were:"The a have the
you the heard the word a of the an Parsons?" This is the sort of
thing that typically results when
they try to verbally reproduce the
English language instead of beam-
ing it telepathically into one's
mind.
The problem arises from the fact
that no articles, definite or in-
definite, exist in their native
tongue and they remain completely
confused as to their proper usage.
The result is this "shotgun" style
of article usage whereby they
throw articles into a sentence
with abandon in the vain hope at
least one or two will accidently
be correct.
Insofar as I politely ignored this gramatical error on his part and
reported only what I knew him to
be meaning to say, instead of
taking the opportunity to mock his
lack of expertise, I find it unac-
ceptable of him and the others to
be E-mailing you with reports of
omissions on my part.
If you actually exert any influ-
ence on these demented evangelists
you will warn them of my stock of
putrid, fermenting tomatos.

Quetion: In the June '92 issue of
Completely Unbiased And Docu-
mented Ghost Stories Mr. J.
Kemp, 45, of Slopshire on Turditch
England, reported having been vis-
ited by the spritual remnants of
King Richard III, whom he recog-
nised by his "bunchback" and limp.

In the next months issue a reader
asked why he was so sure it was
the actual King rather than the
statistically more probable ghost
of one of the hundreds of actors
who had portrayed him in the cent-
uries since the Bard of Avon first
staged the tyrants history. Kemp's
response, given in a telephone
interview was documented to be:
"Well, I could tell, is all."

Given these unbiased facts, trans-
late the following 1940's hard-
boiled slang into the language of
your choice: "Squeeze the smudge
plug, salt knuckles, or I'll ply
my father's trade on the mooney
may-bob, here!"

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep7-03, 02:30 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Your scurrilous informants are grossly distorting the facts and are clearly on a mission of unmitigated obfuscation. Reviewing the surveillance tapes I routinely make when answering the door I find that the exact words used by this knave were:"The a have the you the heard the word a of the an Parsons?" This is the sort of thing that typically results when they try to verbally reproduce the English language instead of beaming it telepathically into one's mind.
The problem arises from the fact that no articles, definite or indefinite, exist in their native tongue and they remain completely confused as to their proper usage. The result is this "shotgun" style
of article usage whereby they throw articles into a sentence with abandon in the vain hope at least one or two will accidently be correct. Insofar as I politely ignored this gramatical error on his part and reported only what I knew him to be meaning to say, instead of taking the opportunity to mock his lack of expertise, I find it unacceptable of him and the others to be E-mailing you with reports of
omissions on my part. If you actually exert any influence on these demented evangelists you will warn them of my stock of putrid, fermenting tomatos.

Quetion: In the June '92 issue of Completely Unbiased And Docu-
mented Ghost Stories Mr. J. Kemp, 45, of Slopshire on Turditch
England, reported having been visited by the spritual remnants of
King Richard III, whom he recognised by his "bunchback" and limp.
In the next months issue a reader asked why he was so sure it was the actual King rather than the statistically more probable ghost of one of the hundreds of actors who had portrayed him in the centuries since the Bard of Avon first staged the tyrants history. Kemp's
response, given in a telephone interview was documented to be: "Well, I could tell, is all."
Given these unbiased facts, translate the following 1940's hardboiled slang into the language of your choice: "Squeeze the smudge plug, salt knuckles, or I'll ply my father's trade on the mooney may-bob, here!"
Zoobyshoe, you deserve a medal, as in we need to "Squeeze the smudge plug" (Pull the stopper out of the Piggy bank) for your adroit, and adept, ability to see through the writtings on these pages!
You were right on target, with them, for that "The Parsons" thingimeebopper as it refers to "The Priests" (the persons who are known to be so honest as to be seen as 'truthfull') as that is actually the meaning of the word 'Parson', (with "Parsons" simply as the plural) and clearly, zoobyshoe, you figured out that it had A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y nothing to do with me, and the fact that, my last name, is "Parsons", too. TANKS
So with that, here's a plate of "salt knuckles" (pigs feet) raised to you and we will see that you 'Ply your daddies trade on the mooney maybob" (follow in your dad's footsteps in the moonlight of the fall apple festivals), no doubt interviewing another one of you highly imaginative subjects, telling of their Grey encounters.

So the quetion remains, how many greys does it take, to award zoobyshoe his medal for proving that "Freedom of Speech" is alive, and well, (and living within him) in a glorious, and upriorious manner!!??

P.S. as for their telepathic messages to me, they apparently are going to stop that as they have agreed that such rumors should not be circulated about me, given peoples inventive, and willing, nature, with respect to lieing, and gossip, and the reputational damage such things can incur......they told me they might try resumeing it with zoobyshoe, (heck, zoob's the Honorary member, so look there next........ C:\Ya!)

zoobyshoe

Sep8-03, 03:49 AM

Originally babbled by Mr. Robin Parsons:So the quetion remains, how many greys does it take, to award zoobyshoe his medal...

This involves tedious logorhythms,
Napier's Constant type jitterbug-
ging, with alot of cubed roots
and other migrainogenic calculus.
Just remember: putrid and
fermenting tomatos.

In the 1947 Film Gris clas-
sic, The Thin Gray Disc ac-
tor Humphrey Bogart portrayed the
war scarred gray space alien, Eggy
who was strugling to readjust to
normal life with the help of his
well meaning, but naive, childhood
friend, Big Eyes, as played by
Peter Lorre.

In the 1987 remake, The Grey
Thin Disk (which flopped at
the box office), Eggy, played by
Robert DeNiro, finds redemption at
the end when he talks the discour-
aged Big Eyes (Joe Pesci in this
version) out of suicide by flying
disc crash at greater than light
speeds.

Why did the producers of the re-
make decide to change the original
ending, and, in the original, what
were Big Eyes' (Peter Lorre's)
famous hardboiled 1940s slang last
words before hitting the acceler-
ator pedal of his flying disc?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep10-03, 12:07 PM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
Why did the producers of the remake decide to change the original
ending, and, in the original, what were Big Eyes' (Peter Lorre's)famous hardboiled 1940s slang last words before hitting the accelerator pedal of his flying disc?
The change in the ending was arrived at through a complex set of algorythmic logarithms that extrapolated the resultant waveforms to the very expressive end line of "Big Eye's" (Peter Lorre), "To the Finite, and Beyyyooooooond!"

Once past the finite, where does one arrive?

FZ+

Sep10-03, 08:42 PM

A small mcdonalds hamburger store. (They are everywhere nowadays...)

Why is it implausible for the world to be supported by turtles all the way down?

prizm

Sep11-03, 01:21 AM

Implausible? I thought turtles did!

Does a chicken have lips?

zoobyshoe

Sep11-03, 01:51 AM

Originally posted by prizm
Does a chicken have lips?
Good quetion. I always wonder the
same thing whenever I notice a
chicken wearing lip gloss.

If a rooster can crow, can a crow
rooster?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep11-03, 10:04 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If a rooster can crow, can a crow rooster?
Absolutely!!, saw one out on the lake roostering on his Jet ski, just the other day.

How do you find the sum of the square roots of the multiples of the logarithms of numbers that are imagined, as imaginary, without Dreaming?

hypnagogue

Sep11-03, 01:44 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How do you find the sum of the square roots of the multiples of the logarithms of numbers that are imagined, as imaginary, without Dreaming?

Ask your insomniac math friend to calculate it for you, of course.

If a brown cow makes chocolate milk, then what kind of drink does a zebra make?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep11-03, 03:47 PM

Originally posted by hypnagogue
If a brown cow makes chocolate milk, then what kind of drink does a zebra make?
Uhmmmm?? Oh Ya Martini's!!!

Why was the "Martini" named after "Martin"?

zoobyshoe

Sep13-03, 09:01 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why was the "Martini" named after "Martin"?
It's funny you should ask, because
just the other day a Polish person
of my aquaintaince stumbled upon
me lying in one or another of the
gutters I am wont to nap in, and,
having himself just downed an
excessive number of martinis while
he was piloting a commercial jet
here from Phoenix, Az, asked me,
"Whhyy wasn thhhheeee M..MM..MMMMM
Aaaatini nambed afffter Jeeeerry
Loooisss?" At a complete loss for
words, I stared at him in horror.
Then, suddenly, the Polish lobe of
my brain kicked in and I said:"Do-
wiadywalem sie o te ksiazke dla
pana, nie mozna jej dostac," which
confused him long enough for me to
get away.

What do you do if you're at the
flea market looking at some used
electronic devices and a strangely
intense man starts lecturing you
about the ethics of electrons?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep13-03, 09:13 AM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're at the flea market looking at some used electronic devices and a strangely intense man starts lecturing you
about the ethics of electrons?
You tell him that the momentum of his electrifieing Ethics is shocking in relation to the simplicity that he has no clue where he actually is!

What do you do if someone asks a "What would you do if" question on the "Ask a stupid quention" page?

zoobyshoe

Sep13-03, 09:51 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if someone asks a "What would you do if" question on the "Ask a stupid quention" page?
It's funny you should ask because
just the other day someone asked
me the same thing and my advise
was "make sure you spell it
`quetion' not `quention'.

What do you do if...Er, I mean,
The average adult chimpanzee can
consume 10 bananas, 3 apples and
a half a melon in a day. Also, if
enough chimpanzees sat typing on
a word processor for a long
enough time, it is a statisical
probability that one of them would
eventually write out the works of
Shakespeare. If Shakespeare sat
typing at a word processor long
enough, is it a statistical pro-
babiliy that he would ever consume
10 bananas, 3 apples, and a half
a melon in one day?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep14-03, 12:14 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if...Er, I mean, The average adult chimpanzee can consume 10 bananas, 3 apples and a half a melon in a day. Also, if
enough chimpanzees sat typing on a word processor for a long enough time, it is a statisical probability that one of them would eventually write out the works of Shakespeare. If Shakespeare sat
typing at a word processor long enough, is it a statistical probabiliy that he would ever consume 10 bananas, 3 apples, and a half
a melon in one day?
NOPE but there is a very real possibility that he will, in typing, use the words melons, in reference to her.....the word Bananas in reference to His.....the word Apple in concordance with the obviousness of reference to that event's.........Knowing all along the "to live by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" can have a much better statistical probablity of generating a longevity in the outrageously "lively personna(s)" that have access to the 1/2 melon of her eye, the 10 Bananas of his lunch and the 3 apples of the events success, but only as they were typed into the sonnet of the bard's 'ode to a poem' that melodically interupted his quotient of cacophany that was erupting from his flying flingers at the Clef'board of that days com-put-errrrrssss!

Who the Heck is William Shakespeare???

zoobyshoe

Sep14-03, 04:42 PM

Originally asked by Mr.
Robin ParsonsWho the Heck
is William Shakespeare???
It is fun to go to Shakespeare
plays because he used so many
famous sayings.

The other day when I was lying
in a gutter (or maybe it was a
ditch) thinking about isochronous
pendulums, a certain Polish avia-
tor of my acquaintence stumbled
over me and began ranting about
predictions of the coming ice age
that could be deciphered from the
songs of the Fool in King Lear
using the navigation charts issued
by his employer. To convince him
he was drunk I snaped a cigarette
ligher on in front of his face,
whereupon his breath ignited
causing him, briefly, to resemble
a Japanese film monster. What do
I do to stop the nightmares this
has incited?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep15-03, 04:58 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
The other day when I was lying in a gutter (or maybe it was a ditch) thinking about isochronous pendulums, a certain Polish aviator of my acquaintence stumbled over me and began ranting about predictions of the coming ice age that could be deciphered from the songs of the Fool in King Lear using the navigation charts issued by his employer. To convince him he was drunk I snaped a cigarette ligher on in front of his face, whereupon his breath ignited causing him, briefly, to resemble a Japanese film monster. What do I do to stop the nightmares this has incited?
Rent the movie "Field of Dreams" fall alseep while watching the movie, but make certian you are covered in moisturizer beforehand, now, while sleeping, repeat the expression "There is lotsa places like Home", repetitively, over and over, again, as to ensure that, while you are sleeping, you are not aware of the excersize, that is, while you sleep, stimulating your mind to changes in the functions of that Zippo that you used to ignite the idiots breath, such that, when you awake, an entirely new set of nightmares will have joined into the previous set as to ensure you plenty of viewing while sleeping, or awake, but no more room for any Japanese films monsters, if it comes near you again just yell out "Dorothy! Dorothy!" to make it vanish into thin nightmareishlandium. (I tried this, works great!)

What Is the answer to the riddle?

zoobyshoe

Sep15-03, 05:18 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What Is the answer to the riddle?
Nuncle never knew, so
The Fool had a Field Day.

I recieved a check in the mail
yesterday for $10,000.00, or so
it seemed. Turns out the fine
print explained it to be a non-
negotiable replica of the real
check I would recieve if I first
sent them a check for $350.00
to cover the taxes on these
"winnings". So I sent them the
replica of a check for $350.00
that I "won" last week which
I could have claimed had I sent
them $29.99 to cover the taxes
for those "winnings" with a note
that they could deduct the $29.99
from the $10,000.00. I thought to
myself, "This all is a much better
explanation of why space-time is
curved than a rubber sheet and a
ball." I suppose I could have used
the replica of a $10,000.00 check
to buy a replica of a new used
car, but by then I was all about
confused.

What, then, was the replica of the
question?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep16-03, 10:05 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I recieved a check in the mail
yesterday for $10,000.00, or so
it seemed. Turns out the fine
print explained it to be a non-
negotiable replica of the real
check I would recieve if I first
sent them a check for $350.00
to cover the taxes on these
"winnings". So I sent them the
replica of a check for $350.00
that I "won" last week which
I could have claimed had I sent
them $29.99 to cover the taxes
for those "winnings" with a note
that they could deduct the $29.99
from the $10,000.00. I thought to
myself, "This all is a much better
explanation of why space-time is
curved than a rubber sheet and a
ball." I suppose I could have used
the replica of a $10,000.00 check
to buy a replica of a new used
car, but by then I was all about
confused.

What, then, was the replica of the
question?
This Highly Ordered Answer/Responce!

Why is it that I find that I haven't the time to type out really good long storylike answers AND quetions?

P.S. Zoob, can ya fax me about $10,000, I need to buy some stamps!

zoobyshoe

Sep16-03, 12:25 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
P.S. Zoob, can ya fax me about $10,000, I need to buy some stamps!
I could fax you a replica of some
stamps except that my fax machine
is a non-negotiable replica of
a fax machine (a facsimile
facsimile, as it were) and I haven't got a replica of a phone
with which to call San Diego
Pseudo-Gas and Faux-Power Co. to
ask them to hook up my simulated
electricity, which is the only
kind of juice it will respond to.

Once when I was performing the
Rachmaninov second in front of
an audience of about 400 people
I suddenly became sensible of the
most tremendously urgent need to
shout the words "So's ya muddah!"
at a very high volume.
My neurologist tested me for
tourettes but declared me free of
this condition.
What causes this and how do you
deal with it when you are per-
forming the Rachmaninov Second?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep16-03, 01:56 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I could fax you a replica of some stamps except that my fax machine
is a non-negotiable replica of a fax machine (a facsimile facsimile, as it were) and I haven't got a replica of a phone with which to call San Diego Pseudo-Gas and Faux-Power Co. to ask them to hook up my simulated electricity, which is the only kind of juice it will respond to.
Try the "imitation" cell that you use at your pretend workplace, cause the need is imminent!

Would you falsify your work history, pretending that all of the plagerisms that you have induldged in, is really supposed to be to your accreditation??

zoobyshoe

Sep16-03, 02:52 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Try the "imitation" cell that you use at your pretend workplace, cause the need is imminent!

All I have is a replica of an
imitation cell which I can't
charge up for the same reason.

Would you falsify your work history, pretending that all of the plagerisms that you have induldged in, is really supposed to be to your accreditation??
Whenever I'm seeking employment
as a plagarist I make it a point
to plagarize the work history
part of the application. Likewise
once hired, all the work I turn
in to the boss consists exclusive-
ly of plagarisms of the other
plagarists plagarizing, which
always impresses him or her.

Once when I was performing the
Rachmaninov second in front of
an audience of about 400 people
I suddenly became sensible of the
most tremendously urgent need to
shout the words "So's ya muddah!"
at a very high volume.
My neurologist tested me for
tourettes but declared me free of
this condition.
What causes this and how do you
deal with it when you are per-
forming the Rachmaninov Second?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep16-03, 04:17 PM

Originally quiried by an imitation of the replicant that is the xerox of the duplicantion of the copy, zoo/by/shoe(s)
Once when I was performing the Rachmaninov second in front of an audience of about 400 people I suddenly became sensible of the most tremendously urgent need to shout the words "So's ya muddah!" at a very high volume. My neurologist tested me for tourettes but declared me free of this condition. What causes this and how do you deal with it when you are performing the Rachmaninov Second?
It arises from a little know fact that, in the 'true' Russian of the name, it is actually representational of "Rack Man In OV", codewording for the pronunciation of the Overture is the symbolically representational presentation of the elements "O" and "V", hence, we find that due to the torrodial corrlelations of the stung out stringsets vibrational variance, in triplet, (no less) results in a harmonic inducement of "fortissimo expresso" dabbed in a lightly battered seasoning sauce of lemon and herbs, that eructs forcefully past the vocal cords in an inharmonious bellicousing verbalization of "So' ya muddah!", all having been traced back to one "Porky Pig" (Snoutius Piglettensus repeti'ti'ti'ti'vus) and his insistance of his having aquired his "stutter" from his "mudder".

Humm woke up in that field again, but this time it was both sunny and cold, how the heck did that happen?

P.S. Zoob, thank$!

zoobyshoe

Sep16-03, 06:01 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Humm woke up in that field again, but this time it was both sunny and cold, how the heck did that happen?
Coming too in a sunny, cold field
usually indicates you've been
indoctrinated into a new religion
such as K-Mart Red Light Worship
or possibly The Sanctfied Church
Of The Little Red Engine That
Could, or it could have been those
mustachioed pirates who call them-
selves "The Elder Brethren Of
Torpor And Hebetude In Waiting For
The Coming Age Of The Man With The
Slender Small Toe And His Cohort,
Miss Sally O'Malley.

P.S. Zoob, thank$!
What did I do now while I wasn't
paying attention?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep17-03, 09:17 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What did I do now while I wasn't
paying attention?
On Behalf of D'a Brudders Tank$s a mililllililllion for Da Saleing of De farm to Ust!

Why?? Oh Why did zobyshoe sell out the Family Farm??? (Moan [:(])

zoobyshoe

Sep19-03, 09:41 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why?? Oh Why did zobyshoe sell out the Family Farm??? (Moan [:(])
"Zobyshoe"? This must be something
that happened in a perpendicular
realm where such people as "Mr.
Robin Persons" and "Fz-" dwell.

How many perpendicular versions
of Mr. Robin Persons can exist
in the same universe at the same time?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep19-03, 09:45 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
How many perpendicular versions
of Mr. Robin Persons can exist
in the same universe at the same time?
UNCOUNTABLE! sadly, aren't ya happy I'm the only one in this one, he-heeeeeeewheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

What is the square root of the exponent, squared to the logarithm of 42?

zoobyshoe

Sep19-03, 10:30 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
UNCOUNTABLE! sadly, aren't ya happy I'm the only one in this one, he-heeeeeeewheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

You may have more perpendicular
alter egos in this universe than
you realize.

What is the square root of the exponent, squared to the logarithm of 42?
The only answer I'm permitted to
give to that question, by reason
of my prior affiliations with the
non-denominational Board of Direc-
tors Of The Foundation For The
Advancement of The Study Of Found-
ational Advancement Studies, is:
"Tuesday".

Please Help! Homework problem:
Joe is a bartender. On weekdays
he works at bar X. Everyday a
rigid body of length L enters the
bar and gets a drink.
On weekends Joe works at a dif-
ferent bar, Bar Y. Every day a
rigid body of length L enters this
bar and gets a drink.
The rigid body in bar X has three
points marked along its length
which are designated M, R, and P.
The rigid body in Bar Y has three
points marked along its length
which are designated M, R, and S.
Joe can see no difference between
the two rigid bodies other than
the one difference in the desig-
nations. He wonders if they are
the same rigid body clumsily
pretending to be two different
rigid bodies.

How does Joe find out if they are
separate rigid bodies, or the
same one?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep19-03, 11:02 AM

You may have more perpendicular
alter egos in this universe than
you realize.
WOW he's on to us. No hes's Not, shutup you idiot or he'll figure it out. you shutup, and stop telling me to shutup, will ya!

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
Please Help! Homework problem: Joe is a bartender. On weekdays he works at bar X. Everyday a rigid body of length L enters the bar and gets a drink. On weekends Joe works at a different bar, Bar Y. Every day a
rigid body of length L enters this bar and gets a drink. The rigid body in bar X has three points marked along its length which are designated M, R, and P. The rigid body in Bar Y has three points marked along its length which are designated M, R, and S. Joe can see no difference between the two rigid bodies other than the one difference in the designations. He wonders if they are the same rigid body clumsily
pretending to be two different rigid bodies.
How does Joe find out if they are
separate rigid bodies, or the
same one?
(X^L/MRS7)/Y^MRP42 then split them into two (2) different lines of force, halve the sections into several pieces, BB'Q the remnants of the secondary sections, that were extraneous to begin with, re-amalgamate the leftovers into a delicious wholesome and nutricious snack for later Ooops (that's the recipe) I meant re-amalgamate the remnants into sections that are divisible by Pi, then you will be able to tell if the sum of the parts are greater then, (>) less then, (<) or equal then (=) to the original, hence Knowledge of exactly where the treasure was reburied, Ooops I mean you will now know just who it is that bodifies "Bod rigididus" X/Y

P.S. Don't forget to tell Joe, he claims (It's a FALSE claim!!) he has an outstanding Bill, why he placed Bill outside I'll never know. (hope Bill had a raincoat for that huricane)

Once you have CONCLUSIVE evidence of zoobyshoes, real identity, what will you do with it?

zoobyshoe

Sep21-03, 12:25 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Once you have CONCLUSIVE evidence of zoobyshoes, real identity, what will you do with it?
Report to the Royal Cryptozoolog-
ical society for your medal.
(Don't get exited: it's just
anodized aluminum)

In the event this were an actual
emergency should you first...?

A.Batten down the hatches
B.Save women and children first
C.Sniff glue
D.Glue women to the children
E.Glue women and children to the
hatches
D.Sniff glue
F.Gluey glue
G.Glue glue to glue
H.Goo goo ga goo
I.0000000000000
J.
K
K
K

BoulderHead

Sep21-03, 12:33 AM

Answer: Make women and children sniff zoobieglue.

Question: What is zoobieglue most commonly used for?

zoobyshoe

Sep21-03, 01:07 AM

Originally posted by BoulderHead
Question: What is zoobieglue most commonly used for?
It's used in place of gluons in
element 126: Zoobinium

Where would I be able to buy
Zoobieglue in 55 gallon drums?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep21-03, 10:35 AM

Originally asked by zoobygluie
Where would I be able to buy Zoobieglue in 55 gallon drums?
Where else, at the zoo-be-glued store, on e-Bay, although I gotta tell ya, I heard that that stuff is really really (I mean REALLY) inexpensive, so inexpensive that they actually got paid to recieve it!

"Zoobygluieeeeeeeeeee" is one of the most adhesive substances known to humanity, but NOT to the greys, why?

ExtravagantDreams

Sep21-03, 03:24 PM

"Zoobygluieeeeeeeeeee" is one of the most adhesive substances known to humanity, but NOT to the greys, why?

Obvious, the greys can build space ships that actually hold together.

Where on earth did these grey come from anyway?

zoobyshoe

Sep21-03, 06:57 PM

Originally posted by ExtravagantDreams
Where on earth did these grey come from anyway?
Your average grey space alien is
a native of Boise, Idaho.

How many 55 gallon drums of Zoobie
glue does the average grey space
alien fraternity consume per frat
party?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep22-03, 12:39 PM

Originally asked by ZOObySHOE
How many 55 gallon drums of Zoobie glue does the average grey space
alien fraternity consume per frat party?
Well it is actually an inverse function as the quantity consumed has a reverse preportional effect inasmuch as the percentage of ingestion declines with the affectivnesse's surmounting of the ingestions affectation. IN other (simpler) words "the more they consume, the less affect it has on them" hence the real amounts remain secret, to this day!! as we'll need to kill you, if you can figure it out.
Signed; "Bubba 'n the Boys" (Written in lieu of MRP)

Since MRP is the ONLY person on the planet who knows the real, and needed amount of "55 gallon drums of zoobie-glue' to have the effect that is the cause of the effects reaction, what does it measure in degrees(°) Rankine??

liljediboi

Sep22-03, 10:59 PM

well. halfway to the original goal of 1000 posts. haha. id post a dumb question, but i just got 54/100 on a test, so i feel dumb enought thank you.

zoobyshoe

Sep25-03, 12:13 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Since MRP is the ONLY person on the planet who knows the real, and needed amount of "55 gallon drums of zoobie-glue' to have the effect that is the cause of the effects reaction, what does it measure in degrees(°) Rankine??
There is a small conference room at the end of a cramped corridor in an abandoned underground bunker beneath the West Wing of the White house where full grown men are presently growling at each other in a vigorous difference of opinion over this very issue. It is likewise, strangely enough, the subject of a "thread" of graffiti in the third stall of the men's bathroom on the ground floor level of the Mall Of The America's in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

What should a person do if they discover that the Person they have been corresponding with over the internet actually passed away several years ago?

Robin PARSONS (ABT 1925 - 10 Dec 1991)http://kropf.org/html/d0005/I219.html

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep25-03, 10:33 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What should a person do if they discover that the Person they have been corresponding with over the internet actually passed away several years ago?
Robin PARSONS (ABT 1925 - 10 Dec 1991)http://kropf.org/html/d0005/I219.html
Come to the realization that the internet has gone etherial and that it is presently connected to "The Beyond" in such a manner that communicating with the dead is now as simply as www.talkingtodeadpeople.grav thereby connecting the "World Wide Weeb" with the "Universal Metaphysical Realm" (UMR) as to enable all of the persons, past, present, and future to communicate in an open, and friendly, fashion, to further the profiteering of all of the "Communal Charities" all over the Universe. So remember. please GIVE, the dead need the ca$h! (Some of them are being asked to pay to enter Heaven, to bad they couldn't take it with them!)

How do you go about collecting on a bequest, that is in a name similar to your, but all along knowing that, since you are adopted, it cannot really be any relation to you, but you need the money, so you try anyways, but you don't know how??

zoobyshoe

Sep25-03, 11:57 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons How do you go about collecting on a bequest, that is in a name similar to your, but all along knowing that, since you are adopted, it cannot really be any relation to you, but you need the money, so you try anyways, but you don't know how??
Legal adoption into the clan Parsons constitutes legal membership in the clan Parsons with all the attendant rights to loose change provided you could establish a link between your adoptive parents and the deceased namesake which would best be accomplished by calling yourself "The Lowlander", getting a large sword, and lopping the heads off of every Parsons who may be of more potentially direct relation urging yourself on with the motto:"There Can Be Only One!"

What's the best way to explain to a sword weilding maniac that what you just said was "Yes, I am a person," and not: "Yes, I am a Parsons"?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep25-03, 12:15 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What's the best way to explain to a sword weilding maniac that what you just said was "Yes, I am a person," and not: "Yes, I am a Parsons"?
From a minimium of fifty (50') feet!

When you are fifty feet (50') from this 'sword wielding maniac', you decide to tell him that you meant "Person" not "Parsons", and he pulls out him 457 magnum, takes aim, what is the best direction to jump, left?, right?, forwards?, backwards?, up? or down?

zoobyshoe

Sep25-03, 12:52 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When you are fifty feet (50') from this 'sword wielding maniac', you decide to tell him that you meant "Person" not "Parsons", and he pulls out him 457 magnum, takes aim, what is the best direction to jump, left?, right?, forwards?, backwards?, up? or down?
This would be a good time to lean 17 degrees left of the normal, rotate on that axis, and scoot into the conveniently located perpendicular universe you'll find located just ahead.

Recently, when I was repelling down the side of Big Ben, London, England, I encountered a black and white stray cat who was trying to pound in a piton as part of his continuing effort to ascend the clock tower. When I pointed out the large number of pitons already in place from previous feline conquests of the monumental time piece, he hissed aggressively at me and inexpertly hurled his hammer in my direction. It suddenly occured to me that I had found the answer to a question that had been nagging me for years: Why do you never see cats playing softball? Obviously, I seemed to have discovered, cats can't pitch.
In light of the facts of this anecdote, how many hairs does the average cat shed during the ascent of Big Ben to the cat lounge in the rafters above the clockwork?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep25-03, 01:56 PM

Recently yelled from the side of a clockface, in the U.S.A., (while holding his pistol, and ranting) outside the place of work of zoobyshoe
Recently, when I was repelling down the side of Big Ben, London, England, I encountered a black and white stray cat who was trying to pound in a piton as part of his continuing effort to ascend the clock tower. When I pointed out the large number of pitons already in place from previous feline conquests of the monumental time piece, he hissed aggressively at me and inexpertly hurled his hammer in my direction. It suddenly occured to me that I had found the answer to a question that had been nagging me for years: Why do you never see cats playing softball? Obviously, I seemed to have discovered, cats can't pitch.
In light of the facts of this anecdote, how many hairs does the average cat shed during the ascent of Big Ben to the cat lounge in the rafters above the clockwork?
Well according to the Journal "Essential Catter", the average number of Hairs shed by any given Cat in a given period of time will be the exponent of the cats weight multiplied by the average numeber of Birds eaten in the last twelve years. But it is clearly stipulated that Cats encountered While climbing the face of Big Ben (NOT the same as the Statue of Liberty!!!!) have a severalfold increase in Hair dander, Hair loss, and Fur Ball cough-up factors. The resulting figures gave credibility to the theory that climbing the face of a Clocktower, imbues into said Felines, the very same mentality as that of serial Snipers, hence it is known that the effects of the Post traumatic stress Inducement that arises from the placing of the Cats paws upon the faces of dials, hands, or clock faces, arrests the nomally resistant affective hair retention system of the dermus of Feline climbers to the degree that shedding of hair at such altitudes is in congrouity with the known factors of fur ball eruction to the degree that the Actual number of hairs becomes impossible to establish with any reliability beyond the present known count of Seventy seven thousand, per milisecond, per lumen, per tick of the clock. (Completely different if done in the darkness, so we won't even go there!!)

Now, what I really want to know is exactly how many times has zoobyshoe climbed?

zoobyshoe

Sep25-03, 02:50 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Now, what I really want to know is exactly how many times has zoobyshoe climbed?
It's interesting you should ask that question because , once, when repelling down a rope that had been thrown up into the air by an Indian Fakir I encountered that mystical gentleman while he was on the way up. Not able to contain his curiosity as to how I had come to be "up" there in the first place, he interviewed me on the matter for several minutes but none of my clear and simple answers seemed to satisfy him, so I came to the conclusion he was unaware of the elementary laws of western physics, and that this ignorance is what allowed him to go around throwing unsupported ropes into the air and climbing them in the first place, and that for both our sakes I ought probably not disabuse him of any illusions at that particular time.

Shortly before World War I, I was excavating some coal from a family mine at the back of our property in West Virginia when I broke through the bituminous wall ahead of me into a very small chamber in which an Indian Fakir was napping.
He awoke, asked what year it was, and upon being told, he said that he had been holding his breath in there for 137 years, but that, much worse, he had been holding a couple other things and wanted directions to the nearest outhouse.

As I lead him toward that goal he chattered away in the manner of a man who'd been alone too long and began hinting, rather obviously, that if I would only ask him he would be happy to explain the interesting story of how he'd come to be trapped in the coal seam all those years before.

Having work to do, I left him at the outhouse and returned to the mine. When I emerged at the end of the day, he was nowhere to be found, and I never saw him again.

Given the facts of this anecdote, what is the maximum amount of Indian Fakirs, in weight, that a single West Virginian Miner can extract from a seam of soft coal in a sixteen hour work day?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep25-03, 04:58 PM

Originally asked by a soot darkened coal miner from lost ridge Louisiana who speaks in nothing bigger then three letter words in pidgeon "fringlish" Translated herein into "regular English" by one 'zoobyshoe'...(a real cracker-upper)
Given the facts of this anecdote, what is the maximum amount of Indian Fakirs, in weight, that a single West Virginian Miner can extract from a seam of soft coal in a sixteen hour work day?
Well statistically speaking, the shear number of "Fakirs", in the world, limits the resultant mean average annual imput of "Fakirs" into coal seams, resulting in a false reading that misconscrues the values averaging (that is requisite to have the required knowledge) as to respond soundly to the inquiry, as it has been quired, hence we must be able to analyse the shear values of "Fakirs" relative to the output of seamed coal, per capita, per day, per tonne, per season, per methane releases (as well) in a reletively normalized fashion. So the answer would be around twelve (12)

Given that while I was descending into the abyss of the Atlantic Ocean, I saw a woman, riding her bicycle, on the bottom, but she had no clothes on, so she was getting extremely wet, how many monkeys did it take to oil the bike chain?

zoobyshoe

Sep28-03, 11:15 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Given that while I was descending into the abyss of the Atlantic Ocean, I saw a woman, riding her bicycle, on the bottom, but she had no clothes on, so she was getting extremely wet, how many monkeys did it take to oil the bike chain?
Frankly, I don't know. I consulted the classic on this matter, J. Jefferson Johnson's The True And Accurate Use of Simians, Marsupials, and Lemurs in Chain Drive Lubrication but I found, to my disapointment, that he completely neglects to address the whole issue of bicycle chain lubrication for marine use. I can't tell you how surprised I was at this gap in such an otherwise comprehensive treatment of the subject.

Earlier in my life I had the rare opportunity of meeting the famous Russian composer, Plinckoff whose sonatas for the upper fifteen notes of the Pianoforte changed music forever, sort of. He regarded me as if I were something that had squirmed out of a soft, brown apple, and declared: "You will never understand how to perform my compositions! Do not try!" To which I replied: "Even the goatherd of Vladivostok, with his milking-nimbled fingers does not understand how he should perform your compositions. Should he not try? Whereupon Plinckoff put his arm around my shoulder and said:"What a bright young performer you are! I will compose for you, someday, if I live that long."

I soon forgot all about him. Did he live that long?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep29-03, 01:30 PM

Originally Composed by zoobishoe
Earlier in my life I had the rare opportunity of meeting the famous Russian composer, Plinckoff whose sonatas for the upper fifteen notes of the Pianoforte changed music forever, sort of. He regarded me as if I were something that had squirmed out of a soft, brown apple, and declared: "You will never understand how to perform my compositions! Do not try!" To which I replied: "Even the goatherd of Vladivostok, with his milking-nimbled fingers does not understand how he should perform your compositions. Should he not try? Whereupon Plinckoff put his arm around my shoulder and said:"What a bright young performer you are! I will compose for you, someday, if I live that long."
I soon forgot all about him. Did he live that long?

Well not unlike you zoobyshoe, I too have an extensive collection of reading materials, and in a perusal of the MOST recent copy of "Composers Who Compose Composite Compositions while Camping" your Mr. Plinckoff was exposed for what he truly is, a Composite Fraud, as it arises that the man has NEVER, ever, composed a singular piece of Compositional work, for himself, never mind that even the ones that he could possibly lay a Side Claim to, as having assisted in compostion, it turns out that his major contribution to the compositional effort(s) was to provide the paper, hence he is nothing but a fraud and is not even worth looking up in the "Anuals of Persons, Famous, or InFamous, Living, or Dead, composed, or Decomposing" (nevermind I seem to have misplaced my most recent copy of that one, sooo...) for the simple fact of the matter is that he will probably not even be listed in such and illustrious publication as it would be denegrating to the Editors of said noble enterprise.
That stated, he is still alive, and well, deep well actually, as it seems that he owes his creditors mucho buck$$$ for all of that stolen paper.

While reading in the "Anuals of Journal Anuals" the article stated that the history of "The Journal" was an 'anual', (and that this was a yearly event) hence, the question is begged as to just what time does the publication get distributed, annually?

zoobyshoe

Sep29-03, 04:11 PM

Originally misspelled(sp?) by Mr. Robin Parsons
While reading in the "Anuals of Journal Anuals" the article stated that the history of "The Journal" was an 'anual', (and that this was a yearly event) hence, the question is begged as to just what time does the publication get distributed, annually?
By simply calling their headquarters in Potosi, Missouri I was able to learn that the answer to that question is a straightforward 2:49 P.M. I called back several times in succession, asked the same question and recieved the same answer. I thought to myself, "Hm, that sounds suspiciously consistent. What's really going on here?" I am now camped in the grove of trees across the road from their offices with a pair of high-powered binoculars trained on their third floor suite, writing to you from a wireless laptop.

Shortly before World War One I had the peculiar experience of a chance encounter with the Russian conductor Fyevor Hotanivich Scaldinyevski on the streets of Far Rockaway, Queens, New York. He regarded me, a complete stranger to him, with a look of anger one would only expect from someone bent on revenge for the seduction of his wife, and shouted "The celli! The celli! Why can't the celli count a simple 13/21 rhythm!
What's the problem with them!!??"

Fearing for my life I kicked him in the shin and ran.

On the train back to Brooklyn I divided 13 by 21 and got .619047619, but that didn't seem to mean anything in particular.
Years later, though, I recieved a check made out to precisely that amount as the sum total of the royalties earned by the sale of my book Scaldinyevski: The Far Rockaway Years. Given that I had purchased the only copy of that book that ever sold myself, that decimal took on a mystical signifigance for me whose true meaning I have still not completely fathomed.

In light of the facts of this anecdote, what do you suppose is the best use to be made of 5000 unread copies of a biography of an angry and menacing Russian conductor?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Sep29-03, 05:31 PM

A truncated citation of the quetion that was originally posited by one zoobyshoe, male of female, AKA 9 of 7 * (?)
In light of the facts of this anecdote, what do you suppose is the best use to be made of 5000 unread copies of a biography of an angry and menacing Russian conductor?
One word, P-R-O-J-E-C-T-I-L-E-S, as in, should it be that that deleterious, and offensively impudent progression of an scalar notation, Ever threatens you again, call upon us all, and we will assist you in the launching of the 5000 superflous volumes of the tome, towards the offending indication of a primate, as to ensure that anyone, and everyone, knows, with an aclarity that is clearly/presently, unknown, NOT TO MESS WITH THE ZOOB!

So how many unread tomes does it take to completely bury a former Russian psuedo (poser) Composer?

(BTW I read that book, "Scaldinyevski: The Far Rockaway Years" they have a smuggled copy of it, here in the Kingston library. Reeks of the fish that it was buried in, in transit to Canada, or is that just the Authors scent??)

*Editors (blue) notation, don't know why that Boob Parsons is still sooooo silly, knows darn well that it is supposed to be "Y of X" and NOT "9 of 7", probably just watched too much television, in his life.
If He makes such errors again, please inform me, Thanks Editor.

zoobyshoe

Oct1-03, 05:36 AM

Originally wondered by the wonder boy, or boy wonder ROBIN So how many unread tomes does it take to completely bury a former Russian psuedo (poser) Composer?
How many tomes to entomb? Twenty times twenty.

(BTW I read that book, "Scaldinyevski: The Far Rockaway Years" they have a smuggled copy of it, here in the Kingston library. Reeks of the fish that it was buried in, in transit to Canada, or is that just the Authors scent??)
I love the smell of Zoobies in the morning. Smells like...napalm.

As a young man, shortly before World war One I had the enchanting experience of a chance encounter with famed Russian violin virtuoso Skrachimir Scrichanovich Shrilikovki on an elevator in the Department of Public Works in Chatsworth, N.Y. U.S.A.
He regarded me, a total stranger to him, with the look you'd expect to see on the face of a man who happened to notice an automobile-flattened animal on the side of the road, and said: "That's odd. I was certain I'd flushed twice." To which I retorted, "I thought you had, too". Whereupon he put his arm around my shoulder and said, "You are an impertinent and oblique young man. Someday you will make a big noise in the world, but people will mistake it for a large truck
going by outside."

Given the facts of this anecdote, disgorge, if you would, a response to the following quetion: why don't animals learn to look both ways before crossing?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct1-03, 01:52 PM

Originally SUNG (off key) by one known as the Y of X, or the male of the female, or zoobyshoe..."The reek of Napalm, in the morning"
As a young man, shortly before World war One I had the enchanting experience of a chance encounter with famed Russian violin virtuoso Skrachimir Scrichanovich Shrilikovki on an elevator in the Department of Public Works in Chatsworth, N.Y. U.S.A.
He regarded me, a total stranger to him, with the look you'd expect to see on the face of a man who happened to notice an automobile-flattened animal on the side of the road, and said: "That's odd. I was certain I'd flushed twice." To which I retorted, "I thought you had, too". Whereupon he put his arm around my shoulder and said, "You are an impertinent and oblique young man. Someday you will make a big noise in the world, but people will mistake it for a large truck going by outside."
Given the facts of this anecdote, disgorge, if you would, a response to the following quetion: why don't animals learn to look both ways before crossing?
Well, very clearly, the answer is in your little short anec-doting inasmuch as it is simple to note that that Famed Russian Violin Virtuoso plays with such force, that he is emitting sounds that only animals can hear, hence he is instigating a deafening volume of sound that is circumnavigating the planet, as a resonant harmonic that only all of the Non-human animals can hear, and it's interpretation into "Common Animal English" (language) is "It is safe to cross the road now", probably why the use of the analogy of your face as appearing as that of a crushed particle of road kill, one that required a 'second flushing' to evacuate from the face of the planet.

Clearly his notation of you making a large mark in the world, but it being mistaken for "A large truck", shows how little he realizes about your current situation, as, to the best of my knowledge (TTBOMK) you have NOT been mistaken for any kind of large truck, but rather the sound of a growing mushroom, blooming late in the season, and clearly ready to pollinate!

Given that it is so clear that zoobyshoe, napalm scented, is ready to pollinate, are there an volounteers?

zoobyshoe

Oct1-03, 05:27 PM

Originally chortled by Mr. Robin Parsons in an obvious fit of marshmallow intoxication
Given that it is so clear that zoobyshoe, napalm scented, is ready to pollinate, are there an volounteers?
There seems to be and endless stream of Gray Space Alien Wenches, Paralyzing Old Hags, Succubi, and Telemarketers clammouring for this opportunity. I have been refering them to you.

A recent perusal of the famous "Whinings" of the ancient Roman thinker and life commentator, Scabius Cankerous, brought this particularly thoughtful story to my attention:

"This morning I was awaken at sunrise by the sounds of some Phoenecian sailors playing upon the lyre and tambour and singing wistfully in their own tongue as they passed by outside my window. Perhaps the song expressed a longing to return to their homeland, or perhaps to the women waiting for them there, or perhaps just to be back on their great ships bound for some new, wonderful port. These, at least, were the ponderings about their song that passed through my mind as I rose up from my litter and flung the contents of my chamber pot out the window on them for waking a sick man from his slumber."

Now enlighten me if I missed something, but I found the story to be extremely confusing given that the ancient Romans are famous to this day for their celebrated indoor plumbing.

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct1-03, 07:28 PM

Originally posited by a now pregnant(?) zoobyshoe2
A recent perusal of the famous "Whinings" of the ancient Roman thinker and life commentator, Scabius Cankerous, brought this particularly thoughtful story to my attention:
"This morning I was awaken at sunrise by the sounds of some Phoenecian sailors playing upon the lyre and tambour and singing wistfully in their own tongue as they passed by outside my window. Perhaps the song expressed a longing to return to their homeland, or perhaps to the women waiting for them there, or perhaps just to be back on their great ships bound for some new, wonderful port. These, at least, were the ponderings about their song that passed through my mind as I rose up from my litter and flung the contents of my chamber pot out the window on them for waking a sick man from his slumber."
Now enlighten me if I missed something, but I found the story to be extremely confusing given that the ancient Romans are famous to this day for their celebrated indoor plumbing.
Well tie down my dogs and give me a shot of Canadian Club, Consider yourself enlightened by this one, A chamber pot IS considered indoor Plumbing for people whose only other idea of Plumbing were "Lead W(h)ineglasses!

So I was out walking in the woods, one cold and frosty afternoon, accompanioned by my neighbours dog Sheba. A fresh snow had fallen, the day earlier, covering the ground in white, to a depth of about six inches, that crunched underfoot.

Suddenly I heard a cry, "Whaaaaaa" was the sound, just like a Babies cry, and I listened for it again as I noticed the dogs ears perking up at the noise. It resounded again, and I could tell that, although it sounded just like a human baby, the noise had a quality about it that distincted it from human, and I knew then that it was not of human origin.

Quickly I instructed the dog, Sheba, "Go see" I said to her, and off she went scurrieing into the forest that was a thickset grouping of low cedars growing in a eutriphieing swamp like wetland. I followed her pawprints as she was quite capable of travel in these woods, wheras I was somewhat hindered by my size and inablity to scent out the source of the wailing.

Suddenly I came upon it, the dog standing duty off to the side, there it was, a Snow White Rabbit, caught in a snare wire, its leg wrapped around the securing line that tied the wire to the brush, and the other end of it snared around the rabbits throat, choking the air out of it.

I could easily hear the rabbit's raspng breaths, and could see that, every time it struggled against the wire, it's hind leg would tighten the line, as to choke it, even tighter, generating a further "Rasping and Gargling" sound from the rabbit's frantic breathing.

With the dog watching, I attempted to remove whatever of the wire that I could, but was impaired by the tangled lines around the animals foot, so I shifted attention to the line at the leg and decided to remove the wire from it's brush securing point, as to be able to further manipulate it. Getting the wire off of the Brush was simple enough, but as soon as I had accomplished that, the rabbit bolted, off into the deeper woods, well out of view, and me there, with the setting sun, and darkness, quickly approaching this mountain wetland habitat.

Once again, I sent faithful Sheba after the Rabbit, after all, she too seemed to sense the peril that the frightened animal was in, and that this was something that she did not want to seem to hurt as she once agian, upon finding the critter, held her distance till I got there.

The Rabbit was on it's side, panting and gasping for air with it's leg jerking the wire tighter and choking it more and more. I moved quickly again to this time remove the line from the Rabbits foot. That done, this time I wasn't about to let go of the animal, and I suspect it knew it too.

Gently I picked up the rabbit by placing both of my hands around it's body, and used one hand to search out the line of heavy brass wire that was around it's throat. too thick was the line, and so tight that there was no way I was going to be able to remove it, without harming the animal, or by using tools that just weren't available to me, at this site in the woods.

With the darkness quickly arriving, I decided to take the rabbit back to the house, as to find a pair of cutters, to release it from it potential death. Holding it, as to allow it's body to drop down from my clasped hands around it's chest position, I began the carry of a lifetime, holding a live wild creature in my two hands, attempting rescue.

On the way I could feel that animals heartbeat, as I stroked the back of it's head, 'tween it's ears to attempt to calm it down while I made the half hour walk home. Sheba was her perfectly poised self, not even bothering me about the fact that I was carrieing a live Rabbit, she just went about her business, of sniffing things, and walking along with me, as if this were the most normal of things to be doing. She was used to me, and my long walks so it was kinda normal for her now.

On the way, the rabbit very suddenly decided to attempt a break for freedom, it started Kicking wildly with it's hind legs, trying to get at the hands that held it, but to no avail, as I had my grasp high enough up, on the animals body, as to ensure that it's hind legs couldn't reach my hands, and it's flailing wasn't strong enough to cause anything more then a reaction of me, lifting it a little higher up in the air, as to avoid getting kicked in the face by some accidental backkick.

Arriving at the house, I went for the tool shed immediately. Finding the wire cutters I tried again to calm the animal, placing it on the workbench and starting to cut away at all of the wire that I had not been able to previouly get off of it's body. Down to the last one, the wire around its neck, gently probing in with the wire cutters, I found the line 'tween the jaws of the pliers and I gave them a gentle squeeze, YEEEOOOOOWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEE did that Rabbit bolt, it was FREE and it knew it!

After it's running around the tool shed, for what seemded an indeterminable amount of time, it finally stopped, but woudn't ya know it, right in front of the door. I knew I had to let it go, so I slowly made my way towards the door, it finally hopped off towards the rear, so I opened the door, it saw that, and bolted out the door, right past my two feet, like a little bolt of lightening.

As it exited the Shed, it ran out about ten feet, turned towards the direction of the forest from whence I had gotten it, started to run towards there, but just slightly after it had turned towards the direction of it's home, it slowed slightly, turned it's head towards me, just a little (as the see out of their eyes slightly differently then us) bit, and it grunted to me, then fled off into the forest and I never saw it again.

Now, in human english, what was it that the rabbit said to me, when it grunted, in rabbit??

BTW this is actually a true story, this really happened to me, BUT, not unlike Biblical stories, there are only two other witnesses to the events, God, and the dog, but, TTBOMK, the dog has since departed this earth, and apparently God isn't really talking to much to some of you, (What did you do to deserve that??) soooo, Believe it, or, well, Whaaaatever!

P.S. Anyone up for adopting a slightly mishapen, napalmed, grey alien derivitive baby?? call the Zoo line (666) 1-800 I need zoob's love now

zoobyshoe

Oct2-03, 06:25 AM

Originally asked by a poor soul suffering delusions of grandeur in that he compares the narrative of an episode of his life to a Biblical story and who is also under the erroneous impression that a male zoobie can become pregnant . Please send him your spare Haldol and Zyprexa.Now, in human english, what was it that the rabbit said to me, when it grunted, in rabbit??
What a remarkable well educated rabbit that was! His grunt was the very compact rabbit version of the following citation from the memoirs of Scabius Cankerous:

"There is, among the men of Rome, a kind of philosopher who advises us to be content with the misfortunes doled out by the Nature~Soul saying that there is always a sublime reason for these troubles. These `philosophers' claim the boil on my *** is there in accordance with a higher good and must be accepted as inevitable and necessary for the world to continue as it is. I think, therefore, that it would be good that they all develop boils so that the good of the universe might be thereby increased, and that, in this vein, Rome would be a positive Utopia if all men could only be afflicted with these good boils, and it would become a nation of the upstanding since no one could take their ease in sitting any longer."

-Scabius Cankerous
Whinings

In other words, the rabbit was saying that, even though you had just freed it, it had just been through the worst day of its life and although your capture and handling of it were for its ultimate good, it was still pretty much scared witless and hoped you weren't expecting any effusive show of gratitude, under the circumstances.

Quetion: What peculiar neurological damage can account for Mr. Robin Parsons' decision to characterize me as pregnant?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct2-03, 11:58 AM

Originally WHIIIIINED by zoobyshoe
Quetion: What peculiar neurological damage can account for Mr. Robin Parsons' decision to characterize me as pregnant?
Telepathy!

Out of what orifice is zoobyshoe's resultant "child" (for lack of a better, or less insulting word) being birthed/born through?

zoobyshoe

Oct2-03, 06:51 PM

Originally pondered by the most ponderous poltroon:Parsons
Out of what orifice is zoobyshoe's resultant "child" (for lack of a better, or less insulting word) being birthed/born through? Since the word "child" is not insulting when applied to new borns, your suggestion that it is clearly means you have neglected to accurately translate the sentiment behind this quetion into English from the original Parsophrenia, to coin a term, and as the quetion stands (in complete incoherence) it is unanswerable. It is, therefore, an example of the stupidest of all stupid quetions, and is right where it belongs: in this thread.

Once, as a young man, before World War One, I had the extrordinary experience of a chance encounter
with the Greek philosopher, Plato,
(this was way before World War One) who pushed me up against a marble column outside a public edifice one day and began ranting about some lost civilization that had been destroyed in an earthquake. To prove to him that he was in the throes of a manic delusion I bodily carried him to a nearby spring rich in dissolved lithium carbonate and forced him to sit in the water for several hours untill his delusional state subsided.
When he had regained his sences he lamented that he had already written the whole weird tale down, had it copied many times over by busy scribes, and dispatched to libraries and private collections all over the mediterranean.

In light of the incident described in the above anecdote, what relation might be said to exist between the term "Play Dough" and the name "Plato"?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct3-03, 04:22 PM

Originally uttered by the most unutterable X+1 that has roamed the facia of the sphere in , well, the last thirty seconds...zoobyshoe
Once, as a young man, before World War One, I had the extrordinary experience of a chance encounter with the Greek philosopher, Plato,
(this was way before World War One) who pushed me up against a marble column outside a public edifice one day and began ranting about some lost civilization that had been destroyed in an earthquake. To prove to him that he was in the throes of a manic delusion I bodily carried him to a nearby spring rich in dissolved lithium carbonate and forced him to sit in the water for several hours until(l) his delusional state subsided.
When he had regained his sences he lamented that he had already written the whole weird tale down, had it copied many times over by busy scribes, and dispatched to libraries and private collections all over the mediterranean.
In light of the incident described in the above anecdote, what relation might be said to exist between the term "Play Dough" and the name "Plato"?
Monopoly Money and the corrrect Roman translation of the encrypted word 'Plato', (as to it's root meaning) decoded being; P-Lat(e)-O(h)! as in "Mr. P is a going to be Late.....OH! but he only gots Monopoly Money, no real ca$h". So the relationship is clearly seen as a mutable form of a plastic coupled to the timely observation of the tardiness of the encumbent form of 'mutable neuronal plasticity' presently tie'ping.

That said, we ask something in the above statement, what?

zoobyshoe

Oct3-03, 06:23 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
That said, we ask something in the above statement, what?
See other thread for tedious reply.

Does "Fat liver" have anything to do with "Fat Tuesday" or "Fats Waller"?

FZ+

Oct3-03, 06:53 PM

Only in the theory of FAT GUT, which is marvellous but too long to fit in this post.

Why do Mr Robin and zoobyshoe dominate this thread?

zoobyshoe

Oct4-03, 03:58 AM

Originally posted by FZ+
Why do Mr Robin and zoobyshoe dominate this thread? There is, at this very moment, a consortium of nearly 70 sociologists, psychiatrists, psychologists and psychotics deeply concentrating on discovering the merest toehold of understanding from which to launch a heavily funded research project whose goal is to formulate the outlines of an hypothesis about this phenomenon. The predicted date of the time when it may become reasonable to start wondering when the hypothesis will be ready to be alluded to with confidence is 6 April 09. Untill then try thinking about something else.

Why doesn't Fz+ dominate this thread? He has the ambition, intelligence, Batman-villain-style lust to dominate essentially pointess enterprises. Warum nicht?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct4-03, 11:55 AM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe, the other "denominator"
Why doesn't Fz+ dominate this thread? He has the ambition, intelligence, Batman-villain-style lust to dominate essentially pointess enterprises. Warum nicht?
Good Question!! so here's your answer.....

Originally asked by zoobyshoe's other "denominator"
See other thread for tedious reply.

Why is it that people all ways accuse "others" of doing exactly what it is that they do?

zoobyshoe

Oct4-03, 11:13 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why is it that people all ways accuse "others" of doing exactly what it is that they do?
Try accusing "yourself" of doing exactly what it is that others do, and you'll see why: it's alot less fun.

What could account for the fact that the fine pumpkin you brought home for Halloween appears to be still growing?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct5-03, 09:54 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What could account for the fact that the fine pumpkin you brought home for Halloween appears to be still growing?
The Ghost within....

On a short trip through a field yesterday, midst the Sweet white clovers and the Queen Annes lace, I found a rabbit track, could it be the same one as I had had previous chance to encounter?

zoobyshoe

Oct5-03, 10:21 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
On a short trip through a field yesterday, midst the Sweet white clovers and the Queen Annes lace, I found a rabbit track, could it be the same one as I had had previous chance to encounter?
The tracks you saw actually belong to a little known species of Duiker, which is a very small sort of deer-like animal that frequents clover/lace meadows and has fangs. They can leap ten feet and are bloodthirsty when bored so do not enter the meadow again without practising your repertoire of soft show dances and witty banter to entertain him should he discover you.

How do you account for the fact that you are just about positive the fine Halloween pumpkin you recently purchased seems to understand every word you utter in it's presence, but pretends to be stone deaf?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct5-03, 11:31 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
How do you account for the fact that you are just about positive the fine Halloween pumpkin you recently purchased seems to understand every word you utter in it's presence, but pretends to be stone deaf?
From the Ohhh so obvious Wry smilie upon it's face.

When a Witch, gets on her broom, (electrolux now-a-days I here, but it's only a rumor) how does that help her to lose weight?

J-Man

Oct5-03, 02:19 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When a Witch, gets on her broom, (electrolux now-a-days I here, but it's only a rumor) how does that help her to lose weight?
This is a strange phenomenon known only to apply to "bad" Witches. Apparently the antigravity aspects of said broom form a covalent bond with the water in the Witch's body. The water is drawn out, thereby decreasing the nomative weight of the witch, runs down the length of the broom to where it randomly coagulates between the bristles until it falls to the ground. This is why it rains so much this time of year.

Why doesn't this work for "good" Witches?

zoobyshoe

Oct6-03, 01:31 AM

Originally posted by J-Man
This is why it rains so much this time of year.

Why doesn't this work for "good" Witches? Before answering let me say that, in addition to being the first coherent and accurate explanation of autumnal rain I have ever encountered, your response also has opened a window to an undertanding of the cause of the change to liquid state when "bad" witches come in direct contact with water. I am thinking along these lines: being nearly anhydrous would cause them to rehydrate at a rate in excess of what the cellular connectivity could bear. I'm afraid this is just speculation, however, and merely meant to prod those with more information into giving the matter serious consideration.

The "good" witches have no need of cleaning implements in their transportation, because they practically weightless already and the mere thought of levitation induces it: they have already lost what weight they ever had to lose.

How do you account for the fact that the Halloween pumpkin you personally hunted down and bagged yourself in a pumpkin patch near your California home has been found to bear a small tag on it's underside instructing you to call the Departement of Fish, Game and Pumpkin Tracking, Fayetteville, Louisiana, USA, if found?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct6-03, 08:43 AM

Originally flewn in on "Pumkins Airlines" Piloted by zoobyshoe, "Pumkin Airlines we always land with a soft pLoP"
How do you account for the fact that the Halloween pumpkin you personally hunted down and bagged yourself in a pumpkin patch near your California home has been found to bear a small tag on it's underside instructing you to call the Departement of Fish, Game and Pumpkin Tracking, Fayetteville, Louisiana, USA, if found?

Government Bureaucracy!

(P.S. sssst...be careful with that Pumkin, It's Military Grade, worth More then you are)

Are we now going to go on a "Halloween" theme, for weeks on end, till the end of the weeks, till "Halloween", and all of the "Halloween" theme items can be trumped out of the 'closets of the mind' as to employ the uselessness of knowledge, that is useful, if it is used in this theme event history till we all know it all off by heart, only to forget it till next halloween, then we will try to remember it all over again a to repeat as nessecary?

zoobyshoe

Oct6-03, 09:32 AM

Originally mumbled in a noticabley irritated tone by some very grumpy version of Mr.Robin ParsonsAre we now going to go on a "Halloween" theme, for weeks on end, till the end of the weeks, till "Halloween", and all of the "Halloween" theme items can be trumped out of the 'closets of the mind' as to employ the uselessness of knowledge, that is useful, if it is used in this theme event history till we all know it all off by heart, only to forget it till next halloween, then we will try to remember it all over again a to repeat as nessecary? Does a werewolf sh*t in the woods?

How would you react if, on Halloween night, the doorbell rang and you open it only to find ten little men in old fashioned prison garb banging on stones with a hammer?

theEVIL1

Oct6-03, 10:17 AM

there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Laters.

zoobyshoe

Oct6-03, 10:25 AM

Originally posted by theEVIL1
there are no stupid questions, ...
There are, however, stupid quetions.

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct6-03, 12:11 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
How would you react if, on Halloween night, the doorbell rang and you open it only to find ten little men in old fashioned prison garb banging on stones with a hammer?
Ask if they had seen Mr. P Lately.......

What if the answer to the quetion, is found in a riddle, but the riddle isn't the answer to the quetion, but the answer to the riddle's question, is the answer to the answer of the riddle, which in turn then solves the riddles need of responding to the original qeution?

zoobyshoe

Oct6-03, 01:08 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What if the answer to the quetion, is found in a riddle, but the riddle isn't the answer to the quetion, but the answer to the riddle's question, is the answer to the answer of the riddle, which in turn then solves the riddles need of responding to the original qeution? This is obviously the non-denominational view of the issue but you have forgotten that this is a Southern Baptist matter with neo-presbeterian congregationalist overtones that was, you will remember, first introduced into the issue from the issues own sine qua non enigmatic riddilism, prior to any attempt to formulate riddilistic enigmaticism, which most practitioners of the art would agree is just a corruption of the qetion and anser format of inquirizational responsiveness joking in all earnestness, here, mysterious riddlism is something quite distinct altogether, obviously, but you have never ansered that point to your own complete confusion and cling to the illusion of pre-surrealistic quethtions andth anthers,(I mean that in the Parkinsonian, not Parsonian, mode) during which, the whole time, syntactical infelicity substitutes for humor instead of employing humor qua humor, but riddles wearing joke's clothing hiding behind the erroneously coughed up furball that lies at the earth's end.

Did Einstein ever know this kind of joy?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct7-03, 11:10 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Did Einstein ever know this kind of joy?
Actually, from some recent reading I found out that the "Joy" that Einstein enjoyed, was of another nature, as that was, apparently, the name of his "bateau au voile" that he used to enJOY, till the winds died, and the Suns set, and the Cows came back out "agin", in da mornin!

So, if you are running your computer, and the Cruise Control takes over and skids you out fiercely on the dry surface of the information highway, do you pick yourself back up again or, just stay down!??

zoobyshoe

Oct7-03, 11:50 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons So, if you are running your computer, and the Cruise Control takes over and skids you out fiercely on the dry surface of the information highway, do you pick yourself back up again and restart/reboot/rerun, or, just stay down!??
I let my chauffeur and mechanic handle all that stuff.

Ooooo! I just heard the magnetic field flip! Should we now call the North Star the South Star?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct7-03, 01:06 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Ooooo! I just heard the magnetic field flip! Should we now call the North Star the South Star?
NOPE it's now the star formerly known as North, with the new combinatrix naming of SNORTH STAR and N'SOUTH STAR.
How did you hear the field flip. I thought I had done that entirely silently this time, musta been that confuctivationalmodulatrixing booberplayer timing.............

If the Earth's magnetic field flipped, and the last time nothing over 39 Kgs survived the toss, what are you going to do, this time, if you weigh in at 80 kgs?

zoobyshoe

Oct7-03, 01:38 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons If the Earth's magnetic field flipped, and the last time nothing over 39 Kgs survived the toss, what are you going to do, this time, if you weigh in at 80 kgs? Revert to my amoeboid state just before the event, divide into two 40 kg amoeba (amoebi?), wait it out, and when it is over think up a new user name for the new Zoobyshoe.
(Perhaps: Mr. Zooby Shoe.)

(Ah, comme je suis malin!) Where can one find one of those incredibly delicious pumpkin and liverwurst on sourdough sandwiches like they used to serve on the Rive Gauche, somewhere along le Rue de Lapin Mort, in the Cafe Vagabond back before the War?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct7-03, 01:56 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
(Ah, comme je suis malin!) Where can one find one of those incredibly delicious pumpkin and liverwurst on sourdough sandwiches like they used to serve on the Rive Gauche, somewhere along le Rue de Lapin Mort, in the Cafe Vagabond back before the War?
Not sure about that, but you could try here in Kingston, "The Store Famous" might have them, I was in there the other day, couldn't afford Fame, so I bought rolling papers instead, but maybe you could afford it, or one of those famous sandwiches.

So what would you do when you find out you have been running the proverbial race of "The Tortoise, and the Hare", you are the "Hare", and this writter is the "Tortoise", you realize that the race is a planetary one, 70 % of the planets face is water, "Tortoises" can swim really really well, and Hare's are nicknamed "Shark's Q'tips" to all Ocean dwellers?

P.S. There really is a store called "The Store Famous" here in Kingston, corner of York and Barrie.

zoobyshoe

Oct7-03, 02:33 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons So what would you do when you find out you have been running the proverbial race of "The Tortoise, and the Hare", you are the "Hare", and this writter is the "Tortoise", you realize that the race is a planetary one, 70 % of the planets face is water, "Tortoises" can swim really really well, and Hare's are nicknamed "Shark's Q'tips" to all Ocean dwellers?
Since the term "Shark's Q'tips" means "Of no use whatever to sharks", given they haven't any apparatus for manipulating a Q'tip and no interest in eating them, this is no concern. As for the expanse of water, this could be quite an obstacle. I think I will lie down, and take a nap, while my unconscious mind works it out.
P.S. There really is a store called "The Store Famous" here in Kingston, corner of York and Barrie. I know. I own that store.

Once, when I was dozing at a table outside a cafe in Paris called Le Lapin Dormant a somewhat familiar voice from a few tables away caught my attention, and, opening one eye slightly I was horrified to see it was my old high school math teacher, Mrs. Quadraticus, who was something like a cross between a screw at Alcatraz and a Tasmanian Devil. I dissapeared from the premises rapidly, and in the process, neglected the bill. This has been weighing on my conscience heavily in the intervening years and I wonder what I should do about it?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct7-03, 07:26 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Once, when I was dozing at a table outside a cafe in Paris called Le Lapin Dormant a somewhat familiar voice from a few tables away caught my attention, and, opening one eye slightly I was horrified to see it was my old high school math teacher, Mrs. Quadraticus, who was something like a cross between a screw at Alcatraz and a Tasmanian Devil. I dissapeared from the premises rapidly, and in the process, neglected the bill. This has been weighing on my conscience heavily in the intervening years and I wonder what I should do about it?
"Yes son, your dilema is very clear to us all here at the "Phone in Psychiatric Center", The "PPC" where every call is important to U$, surely you have realized that you should immediately phone Mrs. Quadraticus and apologize to her in full, with admonitions upon yourself for eternal damnations should you ever have such heathens thoughts, about such a pure woman, EvEr again, failing that, you should do a self imposed penance as recomended by Sister Aldat Dizcip'line, from 'Our Lady of The Oaken Rulers", she'll make darn certain that that old adage of "Give a man an inch, and he'll think he is a ruler", never crosses your mind, (or knuckles too) and from there you can led a live of purity, and chastity that is the life you have always dreamed of! From that, you can probably make New friends, and with them, earn yourself some real honest money, then you can go back to that sweet little cafe, in "Paras", like ya done told us, and work off your debt there too. Don't forget sweety, we have your credit card number, thanks bye!

What if all of a sudden, isn't?

zoobyshoe

Oct8-03, 09:48 AM

Originally murmured over the "Help For The Hapless Hotline" by Mr.Robin Parsons, defender of psychopathic math teachers and disciplinarian clergy, and soon-to-be Prime Tyrant of "The Canadian Nationalist Party Of The Too Distracted by Internet Interests To Be Employed":What if all of a sudden isn't?"
There are precedents for this, and one hears rumors, so don't be surprised if suddenness isn't as unexpected as you would anticipate.

Once, when I was snoring sweetly at a cab stand in Paris, waiting for one of those two horse power taxis ironically refered to as "Les Lapins Rapides" I dreampt I was repelling down the side of coordinate system K' and encountered several tortoises plodding along a vector roughly 67 degrees off the normal of my own in a coordinate system K9 that was in relative motion with K' at a leisurely velocty of roughly 2 mph. I though to myself that if I let go my hold and landed on the back of one of those tortoises I could take a nap there while it transported me. But I woke up to see the taxi driver staring me in the face saying "Alors! Vous venez ou non?" On the way to my little Chambre, I related the narrative of this dream to him, and he responded "Je sais. Tout le mond a le meme reve." And so: Does Mr.R.P., too, have the same dream?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct8-03, 10:37 AM

Originally snored into existence by the dream state of the "hariest of the hares" "slowest of the speedy" "deluded of the deluding, when being decieved" and generally "All round sound of emittent gases" zoobyshoe-The Foist, really number 12, in of all the "Books of ten"
Once, when I was snoring sweetly at a cab stand in Paris, waiting for one of those two horse power taxis ironically refered to as "Les Lapins Rapides" I dreampt I was repelling down the side of coordinate system K' and encountered several tortoises plodding along a vector roughly 67 degrees off the normal of my own in a coordinate system K9 that was in relative motion with K' at a leisurely velocty of roughly 2 mph. I though to myself that if I let go my hold and landed on the back of one of those tortoises I could take a nap there while it transported me. But I woke up to see the taxi driver staring me in the face saying "Alors! Vous venez ou non?" On the way to my little Chambre, I related the narrative of this dream to him, and he responded "Je sais. Tout le mond a le meme reve." And so: Does Mr.R.P., too, have the same dream?
Nope riding on a tortoises back is NOT on of my dreams cause I know all of those tortoises and I'll tell you about them, they look innocuous enough, but get near enough to any of them, and you will get to find out just how sharp a tortoises beak can be, nevermind the claws on the feet. See really they are the ones who employ the Sharks Q'tip's, use them for after going to the bathroom (or something like that) which is why you never find any washed up on the shoreline, well, except the ones that got away, but usually they are quite well marked, if they have any head, or brains, left at all (those kinds of tortoises are real fat lovers, and you brains is mostly fat sooo...) after those ones have had there way with anyone. So in conclusion, well clear enough, pedantic little ploglidites need not apply.

Just the other day I got a call from my foister sys, and was asked to assist them, in the Yukon, so I got on my bicycle and road out to the place that we had agreed upon. Arriving there the next day I noticed that my back wheel was slightly off, in the spoke tensioning, so grabbing my trusted spoke wrench I twisted the nipple till it cried out. My foister asked me to help, I had, and was now ready to return home to my tent, but wait, what had happened here?

zoobyshoe

Oct8-03, 11:46 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons who, grumpy, after a long, sleepless night trying, without success, to salvage his essentially meaningless "Shark's Q'tip" metaphore, came to the decision, for reasons only understandable to the mind of one who could put such extended thought into the subject of tortoises wiping themselves, to ask this oblique quetion:
...but wait, what had happened here?
Given the ambiguity of the evidence presented, any specific retort would be wild speculation. I would rather present an expression of hope that the character on the bicycle experienced an epiphany of some sort amounting to the realization that a "funny" thread on a public internet forum should not be confused with an opportunity to engage in not-so-thinly-veiled, somehat uncomfortably direct, man-on-an-analyst's-couch, freeform, monologising about personal problems which readers are in no position to address in any usefull manner under the circumstances, and who wish things could just go back to being whacky and careless here, there being many other locations for every nature of intense and serious discussion of authentic problems.

So, while you are waiting for Godot:

If this had been an actual emergency you should:

A. Burn the bicycle at the stake?

B. Place it in a crate and ship it to Batelles for efficiency testing?

C. Harness it to tortoises for a tow back to the Yukon?

E. Look up the word "sesquepedalian" in the Oxford English Dictionary?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct8-03, 12:53 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
A. Burn the bicycle at the stake?

B. Place it in a crate and ship it to Batelles for efficiency testing?

C. Harness it to tortoises for a tow back to the Yukon?

E. Look up the word "sesquepedalian" in the Oxford English Dictionary?
F. explain to the self-inflated respondant that although he accuses of "too much time" to the other side, he too seems to have all the same amount of time, and uses his life experaince, oooop nay has none, otherwise he would have been able to discern the difference 'twixts people like him, and myself. After all, me engaging in any work, in this country, would be paramount to me paying taxes to the Facist who oppresses me, (how stupid is that?? or better put how stupid is the one who recomends that?? but I digress) and that is about as anti-democratic as one can possible get, (but he is an American what does he know about democracy??) so I would continue to venture forth, and include whatever I possible can to get a laugh (if possible) and including maligning myself, as I have in the past, but not maligning others (to severely) as it just isn't funny, as exemplified by the above posting.

Would you feed the hand that bites you?

EDIT Changed the quention!! lOOk!! over there!----------->>>

zoobyshoe

Oct8-03, 05:55 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Would you feed the hand that bites you?
It's funny you should ask that quetion because I can't really think of a horror movie that included the device of a hand with teeth, a biting hand. It seems that they've thought of just about everything, but that has never come up.

Once when I was at my villa in Italia, I overheard one of the servants saying to himself: "Nell'aria fredda della notte scura il mio spirito e invincible." At which, I had to chuckle, and say to myself, "Yeah, you wish." Given the facts of this anecdote how do you suppose Arnold Schwarzenegger won the election?

sandinmyears

Oct9-03, 08:13 AM

Do you think "Edelweiss" will become the new state song/anthem?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct9-03, 08:47 AM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
Once when I was at my villa in Italia, I overheard one of the servants saying to himself: "Nell'aria fredda della notte scura il mio spirito e invincible." At which, I had to chuckle, and say to myself, "Yeah, you wish." Given the facts of this anecdote how do you suppose Arnold Schwarzenegger won the election?
Coupled with;
Originally posted by sandinmyears
Do you think "Edelweiss" will become the new state song/anthem?
Well the second quention answers the first quention, by way of an answer derived from the first quention's riddle, that isn't answered by the answer to the second question, but by an answer that comes from the answer to the second question, that answers the first quention's answer, by reference to the responce of the answer's quention.

Got that?

zoobyshoe

Oct9-03, 08:53 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Got that?
Got milk. Haven't got that.

If Peter pecker pricked a peck of pickle pickers, how many years would he get?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct9-03, 08:59 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If Peter pecker pricked a peck of pickle pickers, how many years would he get?
Time served, and about five years less then the person who dreamed up the question.

If you were travelling in outer space, and something happened, what was it?

zoobyshoe

Oct9-03, 09:04 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If you were travelling in outer space, and something happened, what was it?
I wouldn't mind being in space right now. In space I couldn't hear you get your tenses mixed up.

Now that Arnold S. is Governor of the state of California do you think we'll be seceding from the Union?

sandinmyears

Oct9-03, 09:21 AM

ALTERNATIVE ANSWER:

Time served, and about five years less then the person who dreamed up the question.

Q: If you were travelling in outer space, and something happened, what was it?

A: If I were to serve time, outer space would be the space to do it where time has no meaning.
__________________________________________________ ____________________

Now that Arnold S. is Governor of the state of California do you think we'll be seceding from the Union?

A: If you resign from the union, you may find yourself in the same predicament as Jimmy Hoffa. :D

Q: When all it said and done and fought and tried to all avail,
Do you keep on pushing, fighting, trying, or give in and vote for Dan Quayle?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct9-03, 07:14 PM

Origianlly posted by sandinmyears
Q: When all it said and done and fought and tried to all avail,
Do you keep on pushing, fighting, trying, or give in and vote for Dan Quayle?
Well, being from Canada, Yeah sure!

If trying, and fighting, and effort and everything you do/try doesn't work, why is it that then, and only then, nOt trying, is the thing to try?

zoobyshoe

Oct9-03, 07:21 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If trying, and fighting, and effort and everything you do/try doesn't work, why is it that then, and only then, nOt trying, is the thing to try?
You cannot try to not try without trying. Try tickling.

Whyis Mr. Robin Parsons up past his bedtime?

sandinmyears

Oct9-03, 08:21 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Why is Mr. Robin Parsons up past his bedtime?

A: Though robins are typically known to go to bed (and wake up) early, parsons, on the other hand, must stay up late in order to contact the members of their congregation on a regular basis.

Q: In the Guiness Book of World Records, who was the youngest person to have ever been born?

photon

Oct9-03, 09:28 PM

They were about 2i years old. ("i" is for imaginary number.)

What does the "T" stand for in T-shirt?

sandinmyears

Oct10-03, 12:11 AM

Originally posted by photon
What does the "T" stand for in T-shirt?

A: "T"

Q: Is it really Dolly Parton's hair that makes her "top heavy?"

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct10-03, 08:56 AM

Originally posted by sandinmyears
Q: Is it really Dolly Parton's hair that makes her "top heavy?"
PSsssst NOPE! Pssssst it's really her Brain!

Since Dolly Parton is already World ReKnown, will typing her name, here, make her even more Famous?

zoobyshoe

Oct10-03, 09:08 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Since Dolly Parton is already World ReKnown, will typing her name, here, make her even more Famous?
It will, and you will be happy to know she is already on a plane on her way to Kingston to personally
thank you. (Clean up the tent!)

Given the impending marriage between Dolly and Mr. Robin Parsons, won't it simply be easier for all involved for Mr. Robin Parsons to become Mr. Robin Parton than it would be for Dolly Parton to become Dolly Parsons?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct11-03, 10:42 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
(Clean up the tent!) DONE!!
Given the impending marriage between Dolly and Mr. Robin Parsons, won't it simply be easier for all involved for Mr. Robin Parsons to become Mr. Robin Parton than it would be for Dolly Parton to become Dolly Parsons?
Nah, I would become Mr. Dolly Parton, and she could become Mrs. Dolly Parton!

If the situation was, somehow, rearranged such that it was actually Greg Bernhardt who was going to marry Ms. Parton, what would that result in?

zoobyshoe

Oct11-03, 01:39 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If the situation was, somehow, rearranged such that it was actually Greg Bernhardt who was going to marry Ms. Parton, what would that result in? As with anyone who married her he would find himself with more than a handful to handle.

Is is true that the common "June Bug" has sences which enable it to detect AM frequencies, thus accounting for its inability to demonstrate anything amounting to "skill" when it comes to landing at the end of a flight?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct12-03, 03:09 PM

Originally postulated by zoobyshoe
Is is true that the common "June Bug" has sences which enable it to detect AM frequencies, thus accounting for its inability to demonstrate anything amounting to "skill" when it comes to landing at the end of a flight?
Well while reading the latest edition of "The Ontological Musings of The Temporally Neophytic vernal Flying Insect" I came across the quotation of the premature Author ranting something along the lines of enjoying the cronings of people like Conway Twitty, The Melodies of J. Cash, the tunes of a Ms. Dolly Parton as well, but some aside notation of him clamouring about a friend of his, who, apparently was born with crossed antennae, and seems to be under the impression that he is about to come into a small horde of Human possessions, a truck, a house, a guitar, a wife, a dog, a tractor, that kind of stuff, so who knows?

Well then, that does beg the question, Who knows?

sandinmyears

Oct12-03, 06:18 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
...seems to be under the impression that he is about to come into a small horde of Human possessions, a truck, a house, a guitar, a wife, a dog, a tractor, that kind of stuff, so who knows?

Well then, that does beg the question, Who knows?

A: I fail to find the question you are begging.

Q: If E(minor) is the relative minor to G(major); A(minor) is the relative minor to C(major); and D(minor) is the relative minor to F(major); then according to Einstein's theory of relativity, what key should Dolly Parton be singing in if her bra cup side is a "Double D"?

zoobyshoe

Oct12-03, 07:33 PM

Originally posted by sandinmyears Q: If E(minor) is the relative minor to G(major); A(minor) is the relative minor to C(major); and D(minor) is the relative minor to F(major); then according to Einstein's theory of relativity, what key should Dolly Parton be singing in if her bra cup side is a "Double D"?
One doesn't need relativity to know that as long as she is wearing a Well-Tempered Brassiere her singing will sound good in all keys.

They say Bach had 21 children because his organ had no stops.
Others have suggested he had an instinct for choosing wives who never suffered from headaches. What is the real reason behind his prolificity?

FZ+

Oct13-03, 07:46 PM

Bach was an early pioneer of Everett's many worlds theory, and hence was able to exploit loopholes in the laws of the universe to "interact" briefly across universes - as long as he was really quick about it, he had all the energy for the "reactions" he required just from quantum uncertainty.

Where's the fun in that?

zoobyshoe

Oct13-03, 11:20 PM

Originally posted by FZ+ Where's the fun in that?
Well, it's counterintuitive fun.

Sometime after the War of 1812 but before World War One, I found myself to be the age of fourteen., and, that being the case, I ran away from home and found employment aboard a whaler out of Falmouth, Massachusettes, USA. One day, not very far at all off the coast of Tenerife, another sailor and I were pulling the holystone back and forth across the deck scraping up the drippings from the recent tarring of the ratlines, when all of a sudden my companion in this task pinned my ears back to my scull by breaking out into a full-voiced sea chanty whose lyrics were the foulest you could imagine and whose content was the story of an imaginary unnatural relationship he proposed was taking place on a regular basis between the old man and the first mate.

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct14-03, 12:21 PM

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
What do you do with a drunken sailor?
Do you mean before you hijack them, to become a drunken sailor, or post hijacking, cause post hijacking is easier, push!

If the planet turns it's full circumference (~25,000 mi) in 24 hrs, (~1,100 mph) how the heck do we get twenty five time zones?????, on the face of the planet?

Tom Mattson

Oct16-03, 05:43 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If the planet turns it's full circumference (~25,000 mi) in 24 hrs, (~1,100 mph) how the heck do we get twenty five time zones?????, on the face of the planet?

Time is dilated at the equator. This is a well-known result of the Theory of General Triviality.

If humans weren't meant to eat animals, then why are animals made of meat?

zoobyshoe

Oct16-03, 10:04 PM

Originally posted by Tom If humans weren't meant to eat animals, then why are animals made of meat?
We cannot eat animals because they have a face. You cannot eat anything with a face. The meat at the store, is different from animal meat, because it doesn't have a face. I don't know how they get the faces onto the meat when they make it into animals, but once they do, you can't eat it.

If you kidnap a kitten are you a catnapper?

Doc

Oct16-03, 10:16 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe

If you kidnap a kitten are you a catnapper?

No, you just saved it from getting eaten by my dog!

If the earth is 'fatter' around the middle (equator) then it has to be farther from the center (on average) than any other point on the planet. Why is it then that water flows towards the equator when it is clearly UP HILL?

The above question has a serious answer which I would HOPE that many of you would know. Feel free to answer it in ANY way you choose.

zoobyshoe

Oct16-03, 10:47 PM

[i]Originally posted by The above question has a serious answer which I would HOPE that many of you would know. Feel free to answer it in ANY way you choose.
In that case let me tell you about life on my homeplanet, Zoobonia, where there is no equator. There are four magnetic poles, all in constant motion, and the axis of rotation shifts at the drop of a hat. This is why hats are outlawed. Water runs anywhere it wants there because each molecule is outfitted with its own little feet and zoobyshoes. We spend most of our time catching water. Sometimes these things we have there that are something like skunks fall into the water traps and it's very unpleasant to get them out.

What's the least unpleasant way to get a zoobonian sort-of-like-a-skunk-thing out of a water trap?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct17-03, 01:11 PM

Originally asked by a quizical zoobonian
What's the least unpleasant way to get a zoobonian sort-of-like-a-skunk-thing out of a water trap?
Well in these kind of cuircumstances, it is best if you just leave the little sucker there till they either, die of natural causes, or leave of their own accord, as anything else you try will result in a zoobinian skunk-like-thing-a-ma-jogger spraying you completely, without remorse, with an odor that cannot be described, suffice to say it is as near lethal, as lethal can be, without being lethal.

How close can you get to lethal without being lethal?

zoobyshoe

Oct17-03, 01:45 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How close can you get to lethal without being lethal?
No Zoobonian would be able to answer that quetion because on Zoobonia life and death are quantized: you're either one or the other. If a zoobie flops over and stops moving, he's dead. If he's not dead he won't flop over and stop moving.
This was a big problem for me when I first came to this planet and went big game hunting. I shot a bear and it flopped over and stopped moving. I guess you can imagine what happened next

What happened next?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct23-03, 01:17 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What happened next?
It arose, and asked this stupid quention........

If a bear does "their business" in the woods, why do they keep getting those ridiculus residual cheques, from those 'toilet paper people', every week, in the mail?

zoobyshoe

Oct24-03, 05:14 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If a bear does "their business" in the woods, why do they keep getting those ridiculus residual cheques, from those 'toilet paper people', every week, in the mail?
Toilet paper comes from trees. Trees are protected by Smokey The Bear who frequently cautions: "Only you can prevent forest fires!"

So these checks are under-the-table payments in remuneration for the demeaning dog-and-pony show bears are always putting on for people who come across them in the woods when they don their hats and, pretending to be Smokey, tell them not to burn the woods down.
No woods, no toilet paper. That's what the companies are up to.

When bears rub their backs on trees to allieviate the terrible itching the trees are suffering in their dry, cracking bark, isn't it nice of them?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct24-03, 12:12 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
When bears rub their backs on trees to allieviate the terrible itching the trees are suffering in their dry, cracking bark, isn't it nice of them?
That's funny, and the Bears told me it was all a "Conspiracy Theory" Ha hahahahahahaahh!

If the Bears really are being nice to the trees, how is it that the trees reciprocate?

zoobyshoe

Oct24-03, 07:19 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If the Bears really are being nice to the trees, how is it that the trees reciprocate?
The trees provide cover for the bears to hide behind when relieving themselves.

When someone is standing behind a tree staring at it, can the tree sence it is being watched? Or can it only see out the front?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct25-03, 04:27 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
When someone is standing behind a tree staring at it, can the tree sence it is being watched? Or can it only see out the front?
The answer to the quention, can be found, simply, by standing 'Behind' a tree!

When a tree "releaves" itself in the woods, what does it use as wipe?

zoobyshoe

Oct27-03, 02:28 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When a tree "releaves" itself in the woods, what does it use as wipe?
In general I know myself not to be qualified to address Botany quetions, therefore your best bet is to call your local chapter of The Society For The Advanced Study Of Plant Excretions who, I'm sure, will be able to placate your curiosity about this.

If a tree falls over in the woods, and there is no one there to hear it, who is there to free the bears that get trapped by the falling tree, because they were too distracted doing their "business" to get out of the way?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct27-03, 09:13 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If a tree falls over in the woods, and there is no one there to hear it, who is there to free the bears that get trapped by the falling tree, because they were too distracted doing their "business" to get out of the way?
The Society For The Advanced Study Of Plant Excretions, which is why when I called, them no one was there!

If a member of a society, isn't there, are they still a member?

zoobyshoe

Oct27-03, 10:41 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If a member of a society, isn't there, are they still a member?
To the best of my knowledge, most societies operate on the opposite of the Hotel California principle: you can leave any time you want, but you can't check out.

If a bear falls over in the woods and there's no one to hear it, would the bear's own testimony as to whether it made a sound be acceptable?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct27-03, 10:51 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If a bear falls over in the woods and there's no one to hear it, would the bear's own testimony as to whether it made a sound be acceptable?
(i)D(i)Dot Typisssst here, as lawyer for the bears my client invokes his "Fifth Amendament" Rights, refuses to responce on the ground(s) of his inability to do so, and my refusal to translate anything he can, does, or might, mention to me.

* How stupid do you need to be, to write out a joke, send it to The Johnny Carson Show, only to remember, later, that the place that you learned the joke from, was watching The Johnny Carson show!!??

P.S. * Actually did that! [o)]

zoobyshoe

Oct27-03, 11:05 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
* How stupid do you need to be, to write out a joke, send it to The Johnny Carson Show, only to remember, later, that the place that you learned the joke from, was watching The Johnny Carson show!!??
Degree of stupidity is not the issue here. This is a matter of a very special and entertaining variety of stupidity the likes of which were not seen again till this thread.

If a comedian falls over in the woods, and there's no one there to laugh at him, is it still funny?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct27-03, 11:53 AM

Originally asked by a rapacious zoobyshoe
If a comedian falls over in the woods, and there's no one there to laugh at him, is it still funny?
Depends upon the angle of the fall, and does he do a "tuck and roll" and most importantly, was he hit by the tree, cause YA, it's (not) funny!!

If you run out of funnies, should you begin to make them up??

Zargawee

Oct27-03, 12:28 PM

If you run out of funnies, should you begin to make them up??
Nahh , I will import them. I won't bother myself with that [zz)]

Why human can't talk to cats while cats can talk to cats ? are cats more intelligent than human ?

Mattius_

Oct27-03, 12:45 PM

Has anyone kept up with and read everyone of these 54 pages of post???

zoobyshoe

Oct27-03, 07:19 PM

Originally posted by Zargawee are cats more intelligent than human ?
Of course they are! Haven't you ever looked up to see your cat staring at you? It's like they know something!

If a cat falls over in the woods what was it doing walking on two feet in the first place?

syano

Oct27-03, 08:04 PM

If a cat falls over in the woods what was it doing walking on two feet in the first place?

The cat was praying…it’s impossible for cats to pray without putting their two front hands together in front of their face, so they stand up to free up their hands.

Does a cat in the woods get sidetracked if it falls down in the middle of a prayer?

zoobyshoe

Oct28-03, 06:35 AM

Originally posted by syano Does a cat in the woods get sidetracked if it falls down in the middle of a prayer? I shouldn't think so. Probably all that happens is it will go to hell.

When I was in college, back before World War One, the physics professor once delivered an extrordinary lecture on the true nature of the Aether, which he likened to a fishbowl sitting in a spring fed pool, whose surface was continually disturbed by pebbles tossed by careless children. No one had the vaguest idea what he meant. He backed it all up with formulas and even tossed pebbles at the students. Then he began plucking hairs from his beard, one by one, and holding them up for us to examine cried: "See?, See?" We all left, never returned to his lectures, and were all shocked to discover we had been given high grades when the year was over.

Given the facts of the above anecdote, if a debearded professor falls over into a spring-fed pool while clutching pebbles and crying "See?, See?" but theres no one there to hear him, does the Aether still exist?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Oct28-03, 11:52 AM

Originally penned by an emotionally stable, yet pensive and curious zoobyshoe
Given the facts of the above anecdote, if a debearded professor falls over into a spring-fed pool while clutching pebbles and crying "See?, See?" but theres no one there to hear him, does the Aether still exist?
Thats hillarious, I was just havng this very debate just last week with my world reknown Ontological Professor Dr. Dot Diit. They stated that the proving of it was expletive, inasmuch as, it's obviousness was only slightly precluded by it's opacity, coupled to it's clear diaphaneous nature that provided a translucent view of the zero light value emissions that are know to occur for such and such a regions of space. Now as long as he doesn't drop the pebbles, then you will have what you saught, from the outset, but the truest of proofs is clearly inset in the bubbles of expression of proof, that is the "See See" statements, as they eminate from within the actual mediums supposed existent vacuum.

Given that strength of proof, should anyone in the entirely of the planetoidial region, decide anything other then the obvious?

zoobyshoe

Oct30-03, 04:36 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Given that strength of proof, should anyone in the entirely of the planetoidial region, decide anything other then the obvious?
The answer to that leading quetion, leads me to its answer, namely: that very goal toward which the bait draws the respondant, which, in less clear terms, could be thought of as an affirmative or anti-negative conclusion. But that might be too hasty. So let me look more closely at the word obvious. Let me repeat it to myself so many times it is no longer obvious what it means, which is a meaningless way of obviating the quetion about the word obvious, a statement which means more than it sounds like it means, but I don't expect that to be obvious to anyone.

What percentage of people reading that do you suppose understood it?

sandinmyears

Oct30-03, 05:36 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What percentage of people reading that do you suppose understood it?

A: I'm sorry Zooby, could you please restate that? I didn't quite understand your quetion? [:D]

Q: If you pull off a flies wings, is he now a "walk?"

And no, Zooby, I didn't steal that quetion from "you know who." He stole it from me in a telepone (note the mispelling) conversation. It was mine first. [;)]

zoobyshoe

Oct31-03, 07:43 AM

Originally posted by sandinmyears
If you pull off a flies wings, is he now a "walk?"
This quetion makes assumptions about the possesive form of the word "fly" that I don't think the quetioner is qualified to make. It additionally makes assumptions about the gender of the the fly that are gratuitous, and therefore, superfluous. It also makes assumptions about the status of the fly in terms of it being living or dead. For if we start to ponder whether or not a change in its ability to fly requires a change in its name, then we might just as well ask if all non-living flies shouldn't be called "lies".

If you pull the wings off a boeing 747 what do you call it?

sandinmyears

Nov1-03, 12:41 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If you pull the wings off a boeing 747 what do you call it?

A: Why, a "crashing 747," ofcourse.

Q: Does mozzerella cheese support the "String Theory?"

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov1-03, 08:55 AM

Originally posted by sandinmyears
Q: Does mozzerella cheese support the "String Theory?"
Only when it is supported by a circular distribution apparatus with it's incumbent "meteoritic" facing.

Why does the face of a pepperoni pizza, look like (all strung out) meteor crators?

S = k log w

Nov1-03, 02:43 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Only when it is supported by a circular distribution apparatus with it's incumbent "meteoritic" facing.

Why does the face of a pepperoni pizza, look like (all strung out) meteor crators?

Because of the collisions of the Chucky Cheese Particles (ccP)

Queton: Since "Queton" is a Brie cheese http://www.finefoodworld.co.uk/html/2002win.htm

shouldn't it be the Brie theory? [pro]

sandinmyears

Nov1-03, 03:41 PM

Originally posted by S = k log w
Queton: Since "Queton" is a Brie cheese http://www.finefoodworld.co.uk/html/2002win.htm
shouldn't it be the Brie theory? [pro] [/B]

A: Ah, but it's QUETION, not QUETON. Note the spelling. (Or mispelling). String cheese would be more appropriate.

Q: If Einstein stuck his finger in an electric socket, would it relax his hair?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov1-03, 06:37 PM

Originally posted by sandinmyears
Q: If Einstein stuck his finger in an electric socket, would it relax his hair?
Nope! straightened it right out and the give it a curvature of spacetime every time he turned his head. (a novel demonstration device he called it)

If you are using "Strung out Cheese Brie" theoretic's, shouldn't your questions eventually cause the arousal of gaseous eminations?

Zeke

Nov2-03, 12:31 AM

i sUpporat publick Educashun haha just a joke

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov2-03, 08:58 AM

Originally posted by Zeke
i sUpporat publick Educashun haha just a joke
Apparently........

sandinmyears

Nov2-03, 02:39 PM

Originally posted by Zeke
i sUpporat publick Educashun haha just a joke

Actually, I used to be an elementary education teacher and at that time there was a trend to encourage the child to write the way that felt right to encourage him or her to be creative.
[o)]

So lets see some creativity Zeke!

~Sandy

______________
BACK TO STUPID QUETIONS:
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons:If you are using "Strung out Cheese Brie" theoretic's, shouldn't your questions eventually cause the arousal of gaseous eminations?

Zeke

Nov2-03, 10:47 PM

i saw it on a t-shirt and thought it was funny i go to public school and i do just fine

zoobyshoe

Nov3-03, 09:47 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons If you are using "Strung out Cheese Brie" theoretic's, shouldn't your questions eventually cause the arousal of gaseous eminations?
An insightful and quite correct supposition, clearly based on intuition honed by years of experience in the field of gastrointestinal/cheese interaction. However you will be rejected by the mainstream till you can provide equasions. Work some up in your spare time and the Nobel pize will be forthcoming.

This (cheese), and the subject of "meteoritic facings" naturally segues into lunar issues: if the moon were composed of cheese (notice I am not asserting it is, this is a hypothetical proposition only) how long could the cheese needs of humanity be met by the quantity of cheese represented by the moon?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov3-03, 11:57 AM

Originally posted by a chesse filled, ergo-eubulent, zoobyshoe
This (cheese), and the subject of "meteoritic facings" naturally segues into lunar issues: if the moon were composed of cheese (notice I am not asserting it is, this is a hypothetical proposition only) how long could the cheese needs of humanity be met by the quantity of cheese represented by the moon?
Humm, you obviously have read the proposal, now we are going to need to.....well, forge!!t you ever even though of this question, eh buddy, as the Bioys, "Rocky" and "Bustr" are not gonna like it if the "Big Cheese" (ifin's ya knows whats I means) gets wind of the fact that you have effectively proposed taking over The Bosses new, and latest, business venture...if I was youse buddy, I'd change my name.......and leave town, something like that if ya gets my drift.........oh ya, the Bosse's figures indicate that given that the moon, as edible cheese, is ten percent of the Earths weight, the cheese should last at least until 2012.

WHat the heck is a "Bustr"?

MSI

Nov14-03, 01:37 PM

it is a groub of letters making an unusable word like my ones [:))]

what is the @@@@ when it goes to the $$$$ and it get the ####, go up down?
now that is a stuped question [;)]

sandinmyears

Nov14-03, 03:43 PM

Tsk Tsk. Not supposed to use 4-letter-words. [g)]

zoobyshoe

Nov15-03, 11:45 PM

Originally posted by MSI what is the @@@@ when it goes to the $$$$ and it get the ####, go up down?
Obviously an economics quetion. Sell your stock in NBC, buy four goldfish, name two of them, let the other two choose their own names, don't ever let them look through telescopes, and make sure they pay their own cable bills.

If you spent 30,000.00 to have your face surgically altered to resemble a goldfish, who would really care?

FZ+

Nov16-03, 11:23 AM

The guy who is selling you the surgery would.

How much are you willing to pay for breast implants for your dog?

BoulderHead

Nov16-03, 12:27 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
How much are you willing to pay for breast implants for your dog?
I'd 'blow my wad' in order to raise the self-esteem of my beloved pet. [:D]

Would calf-implants for the beloved canine be considered extravagant?

J-Man

Nov16-03, 12:31 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
How much are you willing to pay for breast implants for your dog?
I'm tempted to give $0.02, but that is probably far over the going rate.

If they stopped making pennies, how would people be able to give their 2 cents?

selfAdjoint

Nov16-03, 02:05 PM

Originally posted by J-Man
I'm tempted to give $0.02, but that is probably far over the going rate.

If they stopped making pennies, how would people be able to give their 2 cents?

Write a check.

If arithmetic is incomplete, how many times can you put your two cents in without reaching a contradiction?

Moni

Nov16-03, 05:17 PM

Each and every forum you'll find Avatars after you name...
why???

FZ+

Nov16-03, 07:27 PM

If arithmetic is incomplete, how many times can you put your two cents in without reaching a contradiction?
###ERROR!!&$5321###

Each and every forum you'll find Avatars after you name...
Because in between snacks on the eighth day, God said....

How many monkeys and how much time would it take to type out the complete works of Shakespeare, on Microsoft Word?

BoulderHead

Nov16-03, 10:35 PM

Originally posted by FZ+
How many monkeys and how much time would it take to type out the complete works of Shakespeare, on Microsoft Word? [/B]
In such a case the Creationists would be 100% correct; it's impossible !!

*now for a rehash compilation*

If you could determine how long it would take for a grasshopper with a peg leg to poke out all the seeds in a dill pickle, and you could compute how long it would take for a rooster to hatch a hardware store out of a brass doorknob, could you calculate how far a rat turd would have to drop in order to break a shingle?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov17-03, 10:37 AM

Originally posted by BoulderHead
If you could determine how long it would take for a grasshopper with a peg leg to poke out all the seeds in a dill pickle, and you could compute how long it would take for a rooster to hatch a hardware store out of a brass doorknob, could you calculate how far a rat turd would have to drop in order to break a shingle?
Humm, Yes!, Hummm, Yes!, and about the distance from that last thoughts 'inception to completion/execution'!

How would you feel if you were the messenger who had to deliver the message, to Sir Isaac Newton, that the Scientific community, of the year 2003, had decided to rescind his accreditations for his presentation of the "Laws of Motion" ("An object at rest..." etc.) on the basis that they were not presented in a mathematical/quantitative manner?

selfAdjoint

Nov17-03, 11:35 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Humm, Yes!, Hummm, Yes!, and about the distance from that last thoughts 'inception to completion/execution'!

How would you feel if you were the messenger who had to deliver the message, to Sir Isaac Newton, that the Scientific community, of the year 2003, had decided to rescind his accreditations for his presentation of the "Laws of Motion" ("An object at rest..." etc.) on the basis that they were not presented in a mathematical/quantitative manner?

Smug.

And if you were Sir Isaac, how would you defend yourself?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov17-03, 04:25 PM

Originally posted by selfAdjoint
And if you were Sir Isaac, how would you defend yourself?
Numerically! of course.........

How are you going to defend Sir Isaac Newton's work, numerically?

selfAdjoint

Nov17-03, 09:28 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Numerically! of course.........

How are you going to defend Sir Isaac Newton's work, numerically?

Transcendentally, to be sure.

Is it irrational to argue transcendentally?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov18-03, 12:05 PM

Originally posted by selfAdjoint
Is it irrational to argue transcendentally?
Only if you use "Rational Imaginary Calculus"

What the heck do you do when you were hired to install a "Dumphries wall", the owner calls you up to tell you that he is "Certain it doesn't work" cause every morning he comes out, touches it, and it's cold, so he now wants you to warranty your work??

zoobyshoe

Nov25-03, 07:52 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What the heck do you do when you were hired to install a "Dumphries wall", the owner calls you up to tell you that he is "Certain it doesn't work" cause every morning he comes out, touches it, and it's cold, so he now wants you to warranty your work?? You explain to him that the sensation of cold upon touching a Dumphrie's Wall is a sure sign of a rare neurological disorder and that the wall doesn't need a warrantee, it needs a neurologist. Conversly, it may only need a large, egg shaped man to sit on it and keep it warm, but that he should be secured there with a seat belt. In other words, you can provide this egg shaped man, but he (the wall owner) will have to provide you with a warrantee that he will not let the man have a great fall.

If your last name was Dumpfrie and your parents gave you the first name: "Humpfrie", could all the King's psychologists and all the King's shrinks ever put you together again?

Silverious

Nov25-03, 11:38 AM

They'd get me in stitches if they tried.

What is the last number in pi?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov25-03, 11:56 AM

Originally posted by Silverious
What is the last number in pi?
Seven! (it follows the twenty two {22} that it divides!)

If a large 'egg' shaped man, came over to your house, and asked to be allowed to sit upon your "Dumphries wall" as to warm his backside, would you let him in?

zoobyshoe

Nov25-03, 05:16 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons If a large 'egg' shaped man, came over to your house, and asked to be allowed to sit upon your "Dumphries wall" as to warm his backside, would you let him in?
Certainly, as long as he agreed to sing "I am the egg man, they are the egg men, I am the Walrus! Goo goo ga-joob", for the duration.

If Humpty had lived long enough to hatch, what would have come out?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov25-03, 07:36 PM

Originally posted by "The Ova" zoobyshoe
If Humpty had lived long enough to hatch, what would have come out?
Obviously 'Dumpty'!! [6)] [6)] ( [*(] [*(] )

So you are "running up a hill, to fetch a pail of water", the Great Pumpkin is smiling down upon you because of your gracious attitude, you slip, fall down into a deep well, (past a sleeping rabbit) landing on your head, you awake, and find out that you are at home, but this isn't really your home, this is your antimatter home in the "Antimatter Universe", (parallel to ours) consequently if you meet your "opposite" (charge/state) BOTH Universes will be destroyed, and look, here you come now, what do you say to yourself to keep yourself from destroying BOTH Universes????? (eh what???)

zoobyshoe

Nov26-03, 09:59 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons So you are "running up a hill, to fetch a pail of water", the Great Pumpkin is smiling down upon you because of your gracious attitude, you slip, fall down into a deep well, (past a sleeping rabbit) landing on your head, you awake, and find out that you are at home, but this isn't really your home, this is your antimatter home in the "Antimatter Universe", (parallel to ours) consequently if you meet your "opposite" (charge/state) BOTH Universes will be destroyed, and look, here you come now, what do you say to yourself to keep yourself from destroying BOTH Universes????? (eh what???)
Thinking rapidly in antimatter mode, you ask yourself "What would I need to hear if I were him to make me stop?" You then realize he is wondering the same thing about you. Slowly, you back away from each other. Then you realize each of you is, chaotically, about to reverse charge, but that a ten minute interval of neutrality will preceed during which it will be possible to shake hands, ask how the family is doing, and remind each other to feed the cat as you prepare to exchange lives in each others respective universe.

Given the extrordinary number of feathers growing from the body of the average bird, where do they find the closet space to hang them all up when they go to bed at night?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov26-03, 12:00 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Given the extrordinary number of feathers growing from the body of the average bird, where do they find the closet space to hang them all up when they go to bed at night?
As a nesting "Robin" (in a tent) I can attest to the fact of the clear absence of closet space in any, and all, nesting facilities, BUT I have been authorized, by my fellow "fliers" to allude to the actual, and real, manner of storage (overnight) of our feathered suits...................."and you thought all of those eggs were babies??"

Given zoobyshoe's obsession with the Prime Minster of Canada, don't you think it's about time the two met?

zoobyshoe

Nov26-03, 07:10 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Given zoobyshoe's obsession with the Prime Minster of Canada, don't you think it's about time the two met?
Believe me, my people have called his people dozens of times trying to arrange just such a meeting, but he always bows out claiming that he's afraid to leave the country because a tent dwelling rabble rouser in Kingston is poised to launch a coup d'etat the moment he departs Canadian soil.

How would you account for it is you awoke in your tent one night to the sound of something sizzling, a strong odor of rotten eggs (H2S) a shower of sparks visible through the crack in the front flaps, and, from behind the tent, a Bach harpsichord partita being played by none other than Seymour Hayden?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov27-03, 04:04 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
How would you account for it is you awoke in your tent one night to the sound of something sizzling, a strong odor of rotten eggs (H2S) a shower of sparks visible through the crack in the front flaps, and, from behind the tent, a Bach harpsichord partita being played by none other than Seymour Hayden?
Clearly, they found me! (and apparently I had just flatulated, sorry [*(] [o)] ) (and the *sparks* are from the flares they were using, to light there way into the deep, dark, cavernous, field, that I am curently tenting in)

So now that I have been "found", where the heck does one go from here?

zoobyshoe

Nov29-03, 03:20 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons So now that I have been "found", where the heck does one go from here?
One interesting option might be to quickly smear some lipstick on, step out into the harsh searchlights and announce "I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille." Then, while they are preoccupied wrestling the big panavision into position for this important shot, run like hell for the woods.

In the event you are really too confused about this thing with an electron having 3/3 charge to make heads or tales out of it, are you required to pay your electric bill anyway?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Nov30-03, 05:56 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
In the event you are really too confused about this thing with an electron having 3/3 charge to make heads or tales out of it, are you required to pay your electric bill anyway?
Absolutely, ALL 3 thirds of it!

How many electrons, do you pay for, every month?

revesz

Nov30-03, 08:06 PM

How many electrons, do you pay for, every month?
I paid for 53385946837488 electrons last month.

Whats the going price on electrons these days?[

demoremda

Dec2-03, 01:37 PM

Hi ppl,
where can i file my stupid questions?[6)]

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec2-03, 03:12 PM

Originally posted by revesz
Whats the going price on electrons these days?
A little slice of "Truth and Beauty" (or is that 'top' and 'bottom')

Is that really a 'strangely' 'charming' quention??

Subset:
Originally inserted by demoremda
where can i file my stupid questions?
In the same place you have seemed to have misplaced your "Stupid quention" file!

Quention? see above!

zoobyshoe

Dec2-03, 11:36 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Is that really a 'strangely' 'charming' quention??
I am not among those who were strangely charmed by it, so I cannot speak for them, but I will say it was a charmingly strange quetion, if you look at it from 37 degrees west of the old firehouse in Abernathy, Texas at 5:32 AM on any clear June morning, provided there are no disproportionate magnetic disturbances.

What kind of shampoo do electrons use to keep their field lines so rich, full, and long (no split ends)?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec3-03, 07:21 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What kind of shampoo do electrons use to keep their field lines so rich, full, and long (no split ends)?
"Heisenburg Dual purpose Shampoo" helps your "field lines" to keep both their momentum, and position!

Why is "Heisenburg Shampoo" THE only choice for washing, rinsing, and conditioning your electrons??

zoobyshoe

Dec3-03, 02:45 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Why is "Heisenburg Shampoo" THE only choice for washing, rinsing, and conditioning your electrons??
I'm really not certain.

Since all electrons repell all other electrons, and electrons are indivisible, how do they reproduce?

selfAdjoint

Dec3-03, 04:31 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I'm really not certain.

Since all electrons repell all other electrons, and electrons are indivisible, how do they reproduce?

By spooky action at a distance.

How do spooks act when they are close up?

zoobyshoe

Dec3-03, 04:49 PM

Originally posted by selfAdjoint How do spooks act when they are close up?
They generally flash their CIA credentials and ask alot of questions.

How can you ever be sure that your cat, who seems to lie there for hours just watchingyou, isn't working for the CIA?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec3-03, 08:17 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
How can you ever be sure that your cat, who seems to lie there for hours just watchingyou, isn't working for the CIA?
You can tell, the second that its waveform collapses, hologram is over.......knock on the door.......YIKES!! [o)] [o)]

What do you say to the drunk, who shows up at your door, claiming to be your 'long-lost' drinking partner, and you're only twelve!

zoobyshoe

Dec4-03, 01:58 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you say to the drunk, who shows up at your door, claiming to be your 'long-lost' drinking partner, and you're only twelve!
Given the terrible fondness I had for demon rum between the ages of 5 and 9 years of age, I would believe him. However, that doesn't mean I would let him in.

On a recent trip to the Congo I had the honor of discovering a new species of microorganism which has the amazing ability to mimic the facial characteristics of all US presidents from the current holder of that office all the way back to Herbert Hoover. What possible evolutionary function could this ability have been selected out to serve?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec4-03, 06:48 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
On a recent trip to the Congo I had the honor of discovering a new species of microorganism which has the amazing ability to mimic the facial characteristics of all US presidents from the current holder of that office all the way back to Herbert Hoover. What possible evolutionary function could this ability have been selected out to serve?
Dang you zoob, now you need to be, AHEM *deleted*, how the heck did you find out about that plan, that one was the 'toppest' of "Top Secrets", the most covert of undercover covertness that could be applied, not since 'Area 52' has anything so sensitive been leaked out to the general public, and it's all your respocibility zoob, that plan was to develop a bacteria that could be used in case of an attack upon West Edmonton Mall, here in Canada. The idea was that as the terrorist came to plant their stuff, the bacteria, recognizing any terrorist by odor, would instantaneously tranmutate into a full life size form of several Former/Past Presidents of the U.S. who would then arrest and handcuff the "shocked" (and "awed") criminal/terrorist. (Bacteria can hide well in an urban environment)

Ah well "Go with plan B, boys............"

Now that the zoob has let slip your nations most important, and advanced, weapons defence system, what the heck is going to defend the U.S.A. (and the rst of North America) now?

zoobyshoe

Dec4-03, 07:05 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Now that the zoob has let slip your nations most important, and advanced, weapons defence system, what the heck is going to defend the U.S.A. (and the rst of North America) now?
Fortunately, there is still Z.O.O.B.Y.: The Zombie Optimized for Online Battle and Yardwork.

On a recent excursion to Tierra Del Fuego I had the peculiar experience of an encounter with a two inch tall lilliputian who was on vacation from Lilliput. He said that they prefer to spend the hollidays in cold remote places because they dislike crowds of tourists, which present dangers to them, most notably that of being stepped on. I asked him what he thought would prevent me from stepping on him right then and there, and was suddenly rushed by several million of his countrymen who overwhelmed me and staked me to the ground, Gulliver style.

Where on earth do lilliputians get so much rope?

Carla1

Dec5-03, 05:52 AM

Where on earth do lilliputians get so much rope? [/QUOTE]

From an over-active imagination needing to expend itself but choosing to do so towards a pragmatic end. Thus a lot of rope might come in handy one day, as it most certainly did, for nailing down giant foreigners and the like.

Where is your leader? Take me to him.

zoobyshoe

Dec5-03, 04:09 PM

Originally posted by Carla1 Where is your leader? Take me to him.
Go here:usimc
Address:http://community-2.webtv.net/zoobyshoe/joe/

On a recent trip to Amsterdam I visited the Rijkmuseum to view thw works of Vincent on display there. As I examined a little known landscape by that famous Dutch lunatic, I was stunned to see a perfectly formed crop circle in a wheat field in the landscape, and what appeared to be a flying saucer rising up from it into the sky, emanating all your typical Van Gogh swirlies of thick paint.

Is this not proof?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec5-03, 04:25 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
On a recent trip to Amsterdam I visited the Rijkmuseum to view thw works of Vincent on display there. As I examined a little known landscape by that famous Dutch lunatic, I was stunned to see a perfectly formed crop circle in a wheat field in the landscape, and what appeared to be a flying saucer rising up from it into the sky, emanating all your typical Van Gogh swirlies of thick paint.

Is this not proof?
Yes! it is not proof! as in proof of it not, or should we say that the proof not proven is the proof that is not the proof as that is what a not proof actaully is, not, isn't it proven not to be the not proof by the fact of the proof being the proven that is not, such that everyone can know that the not proof proves what is not proven!

How, was the weather?

zoobyshoe

Dec5-03, 04:57 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons How, was the weather?
It was a beautiful day. I strolled up and down. I bathed naked in a canal. I stopped at a cafe. I drank coffee naked. You can pretty much do anything you want in Amsterdam.

I bought some paint and a canvas and stood at the side of a canal painting plagarisms of van Gogh and Rembrant with my fingers claiming to be channeling those dead artists. No one cared. The whole thing was pretty much a waste of time. The weather was beautiful, though.

While at the Rijksmuseum I noticed an obscure drawing by Vincent of a landscape somewhere in the French countryside, and upon examining the details of the dots and squiggles he used to shade in a patch of rocky soil I percieved a coded message in proto-cuneiform which said:"Sun pick slobber joist and frimmeling tail pike staff." At first, I was very exited, but then I realized I had no idea what it meant. While I was removing the drawing from the wall to take it home for further study, three docents appeared and tackled me.

What was the big deal?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec7-03, 08:46 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
While at the Rijksmuseum I noticed an obscure drawing by Vincent of a landscape somewhere in the French countryside, and upon examining the details of the dots and squiggles he used to shade in a patch of rocky soil I percieved a coded message in proto-cuneiform which said:"Sun pick slobber joist and frimmeling tail pike staff." At first, I was very exited, but then I realized I had no idea what it meant. While I was removing the drawing from the wall to take it home for further study, three docents appeared and tackled me.
What was the big deal?
Well, whats the big deal you ask, if I stole (or attempted to steal) from you your Holy Grail of your reliigion wouldn't you be resistive? angry? ready to tackle the stranger and ensure that they do not remove the "Secrets to the Universe" that is clearly encompassed within that "proto-cuneiform" that is actually the very first example of "stenganographic" imbedding of information ever accompished by Humanity. As for exactly what the expression; "Sun pick slobber joist and frimmeling tail pike staff." means, well that is an 'International Secret' and can ony be devulged to 'Authorities' with a class (deleted) clearance rating because, well, you know, The mission is (This section deleted, you have no 'Authority' clearance) so that, obviously and clearly, proves it!

Now that the "Secrets of the Universe" have been completely revealed, what is there left to study?

zoobyshoe

Dec7-03, 09:16 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Now that the "Secrets of the Universe" have been completely revealed, what is there left to study?
Cindy Crawford.

In the last century, during the height of battle, I was crawling up a sandy beach on some foreign shore with mortars exploding around me, and bullets zipping just over my helmet, my face running with sweat and salt water, when I can face to face with one of the foreign enemy soldiers who seemed to be crawling in the other direction. He looked me directly in the eye, and, in some silent, unspoken agreement we simply crawled past each other without any trouble.
However, when I made it safely to cover in the bushes I found to my dismay that the Hershey bar in my shirt pocket was squashed and mutilated. Why can't these things ever have a happy ending?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec7-03, 12:40 PM

Originally posted by (an obviously very depressed) zoobyshoe
In the last century, during the height of battle, I was crawling up a sandy beach on some foreign shore with mortars exploding around me, and bullets zipping just over my helmet, my face running with sweat and salt water, when I can face to face with one of the foreign enemy soldiers who seemed to be crawling in the other direction. He looked me directly in the eye, and, in some silent, unspoken agreement we simply crawled past each other without any trouble.
However, when I made it safely to cover in the bushes I found to my dismay that the Hershey bar in my shirt pocket was squashed and mutilated. Why can't these things ever have a happy ending?
Wow, is it ever clear that "The glass iS Empty!!" to you, your Hershey bar was "Mutilated and Squashed" after you crossed a battle field, (during a battle!!!!!!! [o)]) and you think that your still edible Hershey's bar is some kind of sign that life sucks?? wow, do you need psychiatric HELP!!!!!! Buddy, you lived!! celebrate it with your food!

Why is it?

motai

Dec7-03, 01:24 PM

He may have lived, but his chocolate is crushed! That is one of the worst possible tragedies to befall a soldier! Oh the agony! Its almost like getting shot, or a truck running over your foot.

To make it past the shingle and into the safety of the bushes and not knowing that your chocolate didn't survive is just terrible.

Proof is in the form of Homer Simpson. He screamed when he saw a donut being burned.

zoobyshoe

Dec8-03, 02:16 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why is it?
Then, therefore, cause I said so.
Wow, is it ever clear that "The glass iS Empty!!" to you, your Hershey bar was "Mutilated and Squashed" after you crossed a battle field, (during a battle!!!!!!! [o)]) and you think that your still edible Hershey's bar is some kind of sign that life sucks?? wow, do you need psychiatric HELP!!!!!! Buddy, you lived!! celebrate it with your food!

Where would I look to find the stupidity in this anser? I have looked, but I can't find it. Where is it?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec8-03, 06:39 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Where would I look to find the stupidity in this ansWer? I have looked, but I can't find it. Where is it?
And therefore, you have...............

When looking for stupidity, if/when you find it, doesn't that mean that you have really found that, within yourself?

zoobyshoe

Dec8-03, 01:11 PM

a PROFOUNDLY introspective morsel of speculation Originally posted by the remarkably wize Mr. Robin Parsons When looking for stupidity, if/when you find it, doesn't that mean that you have really found that, within yourself?
So, you think you're the Wizard of Oz, now?: "You didn't need to look for stupidity, you always had it within yourself!"

During my misspent youth I had the misfortune of falling in with a rogue who entertained himself by cheating people at 3 card Monte. As the schill, I pretended not to know him, and he would allow me to win a few times in front of the greedy onlookers, which would prime them to play and be fleeced.
One day a group of French Canadian farmers from pretty far out in the sticks of Quebec arrived at the table. I could see my partner fairly licking his lips at this easy prospect, and I began to win in front of them. After my second win they got bored and walked away.

How was the gravity, that day?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec9-03, 09:09 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
During my misspent youth I had the misfortune of falling in with a rogue who entertained himself by cheating people at 3 card Monte. As the schill, I pretended not to know him, and he would allow me to win a few times in front of the greedy onlookers, which would prime them to play and be fleeced.
One day a group of French Canadian farmers from pretty far out in the sticks of Quebec arrived at the table. I could see my partner fairly licking his lips at this easy prospect, and I began to win in front of them. After my second win they got bored and walked away.

How was the gravity, that day?
If You want a "Gravity Report" it is requisite that you include the longditude, latitude, and time of day, as to allow me to check just what I had had your sector established at, for that day. That is clearly written upon the form GRF.rep//56473829993048GUI875843900.000000offdre66547agctta gcctta°9 (in 'Latex' or "notedpadder.lie") that must have been hand replicated in quintiplicate-twice and submitted be the fastest bicycle messenger service currently know to exist on the face of the planet, such that it arrives at the orifice of the "Institute of Geophysical Gravitational Adjustments at Centrale Du Tour", Mirroring "The Acadamie du Magnetism Electrificant Au Grossessee" within a minimium of thiry five years, as we do not keep our records longer then that, (too much magma) or you will forfeit your admistration fee of three hundred thousand million million "peKUwinuckies".

{On a more personal notation Being the "Setter of the Gravitational Field Force" can sometimes appear as a tedious tasking, but it is actually fun! (sometimes) after all, you thought it was the wind that drove the skirts up, didn't ya?)

When setting gravitational field strengths, should it be an adjustable day?

zoobyshoe

Dec9-03, 09:46 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When setting gravitational field strengths, should it be an adjustable day?
I'm sorry, I seem to be suffering fom micropsia at the moment, or else there has been some exclusively lateral relativistic effect not forseen by Einstein in his musings on gravity, in this particular perpendicular universe from which I write.

Or have you been stretching the gravity out sideways by forgetting to calibrate the second dimension settings?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec9-03, 10:06 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Or have you been stretching the gravity out sideways by forgetting to calibrate the second dimension settings?
Ahem, clearly you didn't pass the "Gravitational settings adjusters" test, the "second dimensional settings" 'inter-dimensional' sure!, but "two dimensional"?? where have you been....aw well, 4getaboutit
P.S. you don't 'stretch' gravity, it'll rebound on ya, really badly you.......oooops!

When falling in a non gravitational environment, is it A) advisable to figure out why you are falling? B) figure out How you are falling? C) Figure out what you are falling through...? D) Figure out when, if ever, you will stop falling? E) All of the Above - 1 F) None of the Above G) None of all of the above that are below all of the above that is what you would have answered if the below had been above what had been the answer below it? H) None of your Freeeeeeek'in business?

zoobyshoe

Dec10-03, 05:15 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When falling in a non gravitational environment, is it A) advisable to figure out why you are falling? B) figure out How you are falling? C) Figure out what you are falling through...? D) Figure out when, if ever, you will stop falling? E) All of the Above - 1 F) None of the Above G) None of all of the above that are below all of the above that is what you would have answered if the below had been above what had been the answer below it? H) None of your Freeeeeeek'in business?
I believe these quetions are a surreptitious attempt to get me to take the very Gravitational Settings Adjustor's test you mentioned above to demonstrate my unfitness for such a position. This reminds me of something my old Professor of Testology used to spout when I was in college, back sometime before they changed the name of the Grand Canyon to what it is presently called, when we could get him to the local beer joint and pry his tongue loose with that hoppy beverage, which was: "When the testers come to test you, do you think that testing them in return is the true test of your testosterone, in truth?" And we all used to cry: "I suppose!." To which he would respond: "Buy me more beer." To this day I'm convinced none of that meant much of anything.

Every schoolchild knows that the acceleration of gravity is 32 feet per second/per second, or 9.8 m persec², but here's a fact about gravity that I bet alot of people didn't know, which is that at 10:56:34 A.M. on some Sunday mornings the gravity all over the world is colored with a hideous designer color in the range of chartreuse for a span of time lasting about 10-21 seconds. Heisenberg wanted to do a paper about it but no one cared. Tesla wanted to use it to power the worlds electrical grid, but couldn't find the funding. Nixon secretly spent millions of government dollars trying to find a way to change it to a different color.
Who wants gum?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec10-03, 09:33 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Every schoolchild knows that the acceleration of gravity is 32 feet per second/per second, or 9.8 m persec², but here's a fact about gravity that I bet alot of people didn't know, which is that at 10:56:34 A.M. on some Sunday mornings the gravity all over the world is colored with a hideous designer color in the range of chartreuse for a span of time lasting about 10-21 seconds. Heisenberg wanted to do a paper about it but no one cared. Tesla wanted to use it to power the worlds electrical grid, but couldn't find the funding. Nixon secretly spent millions of government dollars trying to find a way to change it to a different color.
Who wants gum?
Depends, what flavor is the gum? is it that "Chartruse Sky" flavor? cause that would be, well, gravitational! (That flavor reeeeally Sucks!)

When strolling through a gravitational field, is it better to be wearing a 'G-Suit'? to be a 'G-Man'? or just to be a 'G-sub'?

zoobyshoe

Dec10-03, 10:03 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When strolling through a gravitational field, is it better to be wearing a 'G-Suit'? to be a 'G-Man'? or just to be a 'G-sub'?
It's funny you should arrive at that particular quetion in your train of thought, because according to my schedule your train of thought was supposed to have pulled into a different station just now. This shows just how reliable thought train schedule writers really are. As a matter of fact, I'm cancelling my subscription to the "Thought Train Weekly Digest" and will return to the TV Guide, which is only occasionally wrong.

So, I'm sitting here surrounded by radionuclides and I'm getting concerned about the K-40 and Na-22 levels, and the darn Geiger Counter rolls over, groans, and I can see its spirit rise up and float away. So that's no use anymore. So what am I gonna do if a Gamma ray Burst from long long ago, in a galaxy far, far away arrives for supper and I"m not even aware of it?
Is it possible to sence background radiation with your backside?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec10-03, 05:58 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
So, I'm sitting here surrounded by radionuclides and I'm getting concerned about the K-40 and Na-22 levels, and the darn Geiger Counter rolls over, groans, and I can see its spirit rise up and float away. So that's no use anymore. So what am I gonna do if a Gamma ray Burst from long long ago, in a galaxy far, far away arrives for supper and I"m not even aware of it?
Is it possible to sence background radiation with your backside?
Yes but only by those astute enough to know that the radiation is penetrating them from the front, as backside felt radiation is not the same as frontside felt radiation, least not according to the Journal "Radiation Specialties Addressing the Global needs of Radiologists Knowing of Radiated Directedness in Spatial Symetries that are Translocatable Throughout Radiant Radiances in Radiational Relationships with Radioactive Nucleotides" Vol; 17 Pg 200004887364.4 in which it was specifically mentioned that 'frontside radiation' was severalfold considerationally differentiable from 'backside radiational' relationships, relatively speaking, of course..........

Hey a couple of Quebec farmers came by the other day, told me they saw the funniest looking human being that they had ever seen, playing cards or something, they felt sorry for that one, so they left, but tell me, where is my bottle?

zoobyshoe

Dec10-03, 06:10 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
but tell me, where is my bottle?
On its way to Tofua. It is being carried by an ocean current, so the ETA is a long way off. There's a message inside it. It is stoppered with a cork.

Recently it collided with the head of a woman who had slipped overboard from her ship on a particularly warm night for a refreshing swim. She was knocked unconscious.

That's another story. Important here, is the message in your bottle. Don't worry. It's safe. It will get there on time. I can't provide precise long and lat because "you know who" has found a way to frequent this forum disguised as a harmless engineering grad student from lower Szfortzania. Don't interact with that person, he'll just try to talk you into smoking enough happy tabbaccy to spill your G.U.T.s.

Who else was there, when all this happened?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec11-03, 10:33 PM

Originally asked by an impatient zoobyshoe
That's another story. Important here, is the message in your bottle. Don't worry. It's safe. It will get there on time. I can't provide precise long and lat because "you know who" has found a way to frequent this forum disguised as a harmless engineering grad student from lower Szfortzania. Don't interact with that person, he'll just try to talk you into smoking enough happy tabbaccy to spill your G.U.T.s.

Who else was there, when all this happened?
Well, there was Jimmy,
and Sally,
Joe,
George,
Jane,
Jill,
Christopher,
Al,
Frank,
Georgette,
Peter,
Milo,
Adam,
Priscilla,
Linda,
Lucy,
Orville,
Edna,
Ralph,
Edwina,
Charles,
someone who remained 'untagged' (as named)
Estelle,
Ellen,
Gwen,
Thomas,
& Tom,
Randal,
Nate,
Matty,
Alfred,
Another Lucy,
Bertram,
Barney (NO!! not!! the Dino!!!)
Alision,
and some Jerk named "Troggmorten"!

So just outa curiosity, who was missing, that was on "The list"??

zoobyshoe

Dec11-03, 11:34 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons So just outa curiosity, who was missing, that was on "The list"??
For reasons not yet alluded to I cannot be explicit, implicit, obtuse, or even vague about that. I can however be evasive and deceptive. Therefore the name you seek is not the second one up from the third one down after the guy we both recognise as "Baleen Boy" in a different context, all of which is an evasive lie (hint, hint).

Your average topologist wearing a vest and a coat on top of it can perform maneuvers to remove the vest without first removing the coat. That being the case, can he also remove his underwear without first removing his pants?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec12-03, 07:08 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Your average topologist wearing a vest and a coat on top of it can perform maneuvers to remove the vest without first removing the coat. That being the case, can he also remove his underwear without first removing his pants?
Only if he passes them through his "Stealth Socks" (patent pending) First, otherwise he will simply end up tying himself into 'knots' and need a 'knot theorist' to release him, (VEEEeeeery expensive, I hear, "tres Cher" $$$$$$$$Bigtime)

Is there really a difference between a "Not Theoretician" and a "Knot Theorist"?

zoobyshoe

Dec13-03, 09:00 AM

Originally pasteured by Mr. Robin Parsons direct from the mother cowIs there really a difference between a "Not Theoretician" and a "Knot Theorist"?
I met one of each once, and there was a difference, yes. Can't think now what it was, though.

I invented the following word recently, please provide a definition: squigifferous

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec14-03, 10:35 PM

Originally posted by a verbose zoobyshoe
I invented the following word recently, please provide a definition: squigifferous
Invented? HA!! what a joke! invented?! (NOT!!) it is one of the phylum of various marine cephalopod mollusks of the genus Loligo (..and related genera) hence it is of the "Squid Family", just that this particular type of squid tends towards a diet heavy in Iron (pardon the pun) and as such has a tendancey (But only a tendancy) to produce ink that is saturated with that iron content and as a result of that, it's "Ink Stream" defence tactic has evolved into a "Squiggly Squirt" from the more normal and common straight ink jet squirt.

(and the Zoob want's Y'all to think He invented it, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haa ha ha!)

Now this begs the question of, just where does one go to aquire the "Squigifferous Ink Pen Set"?

zoobyshoe

Dec14-03, 11:22 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons who, it seems, has once again broken into someone's house after dark to use their computer, and who had me going for a second there, actually checking the Webster's to see if such a word already existed, and who must be congratulated on his excellent pseudo-denotation (detonation?) of this neologismNow this begs the question of, just where does one go to aquire the "Squigifferous Ink Pen Set"?
This would be an item you'd search for at an antique store. They were handcrafted in Japan between 1901 when this species of squid was first being farmed for its ink, and 1955 when the Squiggiferous Ink Squid Blight took its toll on the Japanese squid farms devestating the population of this handy beast.

Now this begs the question of, what, really, is the proper remover for the ink of the squid in quetion? (I don't mean the cheap kind that also removes the skin.)

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec15-03, 12:14 PM

Originally posted by an obviously over-tired, and stressed out man, working way to hard at whatever he is doing, as it is all to clear that he is in need of a rest....need proof? read the responce! zoobyshoe
Now this begs the question of, what, really, is the proper remover for the ink of the squid in quetion? (I don't mean the cheap kind that also removes the skin.)
Pssssssst zoob it's got iron in it, use the magnet!

Why is it always when you need to recall something, and you are really really tired, you can't?

zoobyshoe

Dec15-03, 12:28 PM

Ogrinlltti opsoesd yb Mr. Robin Parsons Why is it always when you need to recall something, and you are really really tired, you can't?
Cssszzz xncnmmmmmmmmmm mllllllyyy
grooooooookkknerrrrrrm floooooooomspie squilllllltrii

sssshhhhhhchiiiiiiok joooooombro
zzzzzzzhnnnillyjgiiiiii ooojhpo uo dfo sfffffffzzzzzzz//////??????

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec15-03, 08:46 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
sssshhhhhhchiiiiiiok joooooombro
zzzzzzzhnnnillyjgiiiiii ooojhpo uo dfo sfffffffzzzzzzz//////??????
ABSOLUTELY!! ...and I have to tell you! I don't think(!) that I have, ever, in the entirety of my living!! have I heard it stated better!!!

Aside from that tarnish on my reputation, what else was inferred by that eloquent statement of the (I finally figured it out) Takeoff from the comic strip Shoe, Titled 'Zoo'? (hence we have the sematic strip "Zoo" by this guy in the strip 'Shoe')

wasteofo2

Dec15-03, 11:12 PM

WTF IS QWANTUM MEKANIKS?

zoobyshoe

Dec16-03, 12:15 PM

Originally posted by that well-known bearded, fugitive who was recently pulled from a hidey-hole in the floor of a Kingston Public Library, Mr. Robin Parsons Aside from that tarnish on my reputation, what else was inferred by that eloquent statement of the (I finally figured it out) Takeoff from the comic strip Shoe, Titled 'Zoo'? (hence we have the sematic strip "Zoo" by this guy in the strip 'Shoe')
What was meant was that the tarnish on your reputation was supposed to have been shoe polish; your reputation was meant to have been polished to a lustrous shine, at the zoo, by 'Shoe".

For Quetion, see post by WasteofO2 above.

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec20-03, 11:54 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
For Quetion, see post by WasteofO2 above.
Come on now, (way to easy) the number of mehcanics that must have been working on your car, for the bill to have achieved that need of Exponentiation!

While working on a car, how many mechanics does it take to "Change the light bulb(s)"??

zoobyshoe

Dec22-03, 05:02 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons While working on a car, how many mechanics does it take to "Change the light bulb(s)"?? Fewer, normally, than the number of light bulbs it takes to change a mechanic.

Who do you turn to if the mail order bride you recently ordered from Minnesota, and who you have discovered by E-Mail and phone to be an attractive, scintillating personage, reveals that she will be arriving to live with you soon, but that, due to her membership in the Church of Bod Dob, The Pallindrome Boy and manager of the shipping department at a wearhouse near you, the wedding must be delayed for 32 years, six months, four days and three hours, in observance of the Pallindromic Retrogression, and that there will be no premarital sex?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec23-03, 11:30 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Who do you turn to if the mail order bride you recently ordered from Minnesota, and who you have discovered by E-Mail and phone to be an attractive, scintillating personage, reveals that she will be arriving to live with you soon, but that, due to her membership in the Church of Bod Dob, The Pallindrome Boy and manager of the shipping department at a wearhouse near you, the wedding must be delayed for 32 years, six months, four days and three hours, in observance of the Pallindromic Retrogression, and that there will be no premarital sex?
Llac Dod Bob gnikaeps drawkcab, esrever !!gnihtyreve, And have some really good Sex!

Does it really qualify as a "Stupid Quetion" if/when you ask it in the "What do you do if..." form? {but not in the forum, but the form, ya know foaming, oops I mean.... yikes! [8)] )

zoobyshoe

Dec23-03, 08:49 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Does it really qualify as a "Stupid Quetion" if/when you ask it in the "What do you do if..." form? {but not in the forum, but the form, ya know foaming, oops I mean.... yikes! [8)] )
"Who do you turn to if..." is not the same as "What do you do if..." but, even if it were, it's stupid enough to be a stupid quetion.

Should the marriage be performed by:
1.) A psychiatrist

2.) An Exorcist

3.) Zooby, the cat.

????

timejim

Dec27-03, 12:10 PM

Originally posted by climbhi
Woohoo, a brand new forum to post in! Just thought it didn't feel quite right without this here. So in the tradition of PF 2.0 ask a stupid "quetion" and get a stupid answer back.

So to begin.... How long do you think it takes to reach a 1000 posts in this topic again?

Is a turtle really safer when he withdraws into his shell?
If not, then WHY?
Should a nuclear war happen, how many souls would perish while stopped at a traffic light?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec27-03, 08:18 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Should the marriage be performed by:
1.) A psychiatrist

2.) An Exorcist

3.) Zooby, the cat.

????
By a practising Doctor, Who has Religious training, that he aquired in his evenings off from Drama University, where he successfully portrayed that most mfamous on characters known to humaity, "The Cat in the Zoob" (Dr. Shooosh I suspect) but only if it is done in the truest form of the Zoobonian traditions that requires the participant Bride/Groom to....well it is Indescribable (you need to see it) so we will save some of the "possible descriptors" till later...

...But right now, we need! to know...Will he?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec27-03, 08:22 PM

Originally posted by timejim
Is a turtle really safer when he withdraws into his shell? Well, they really are safer inside there shells so it's a "moot point" question, congrat's!
If not, then WHY? See above
Should a nuclear war happen, how many souls would perish while stopped at a traffic light? What color is the traffic light????? you forgot the color of the traffic light!!!, how the heck can anyone answer any question (like that!!) without the color of the traffic light(!!!) included in the question???
P.S. What's the question?

zoobyshoe

Dec27-03, 09:09 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons ...But right now, we need! to know...Will he?
The answer is contingent upon many factors: the state of the gravity at the time in question, how much helium has been inhaled, who is in office, does it come with corn-on-the-cob or cole slaw, and many other variables uncertain.

Let's propose the following scenario: the fruit is polished, everything in SR and GR has been indisputably proven true, Homer's Odessy is lying open on the table at page 167, the butler passed away of a heart attack the night before, but no one realizes it yet, there is no music playing, there's plenty of toilet paper in all the stalls, and three students of Chaos Theory in three separate North American locations simultaneously forget their own E-Mail adresses? What do you suppose?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec27-03, 09:24 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Let's propose the following scenario: the fruit is polished, everything in SR and GR has been indisputably proven true, Homer's Odessy is lying open on the table at page 167, the butler passed away of a heart attack the night before, but no one realizes it yet, there is no music playing, there's plenty of toilet paper in all the stalls, and three students of Chaos Theory in three separate North American locations simultaneously forget their own E-Mail adresses? What do you suppose?
Well while "sup-posing" I have this tendancy to want to lie down, as it is in a supine position that 'posing' is accomplished for the longest duration of the increment of the needed restitutional perception that "Rights" the 'right' that has been not offended at the imposition of the perenial estimation of the lacking nessesity (that wasn't offered) while it's procurement was availed to the awaiting departed inasmuch as it all went really, really well!

Don't cha think?

zoobyshoe

Dec29-03, 07:54 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Don't cha think?
I do think, yes. Thinking is pretty much all I do. In the past two weeks I have hardly left the Zooby brush shelter at all I have been so busy thinking. I think I should get out more. That seems like something worth thinking about. I'll think about it.

Having recently read through the Minnesota Mail Order Bride's hand scrawled autobiographical sketches dispatched by flying messenger monkeys and recieved by me yesterday I find myself quite touched by her account her sufferings since having contracted MagnaMantisPreditoriality Syndrome, how many fiances she has lost due to post-coital hunger and subsequent anthropophagy, and I wonder if there isn't some way to change her into a furry, cute bunny instead using cutting edge physics and whatever might be lying around the kitchen or garage?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec29-03, 04:58 PM

Originally posted by an exuberant (soon to be wed!) ex-hill-erated flambouyant "Devil May Care" atti'tuded ZOOBYSHOE!
Having recently read through the Minnesota Mail Order Bride's hand scrawled autobiographical sketches dispatched by flying messenger monkeys and recieved by me yesterday I find myself quite touched by her account her sufferings since having contracted MagnaMantisPreditoriality Syndrome, how many fiances she has lost due to post-coital hunger and subsequent anthropophagy, and I wonder if there isn't some way to change her into a furry, cute bunny instead using cutting edge physics and whatever might be lying around the kitchen or garage?
Well, normally I don't advise such things, but (apparently) if you insert a regular barrel pen into the nose, (using it as the passageway for "the probe") and substitute a Robertson screwdriver for "The Probe", you can apparently re-adjust, or reset, the "tuning within" (on some models only!) but the precursory vulgarity that forewarns of the resultant ensuite tells of possibilities in the balancing systems subsystemic systemology, by siesmic inferance from site soundings, so it becomes the old adage "Buyer Bewear"

So, given this turn of events, do you think that the rotation of the twist was torrdially inspired by the revolution of the "Volvo" (the Greek, not the Latin) that as turned upon the wheel that spun the rotating disc towards the circularity of the rotational motions that were turned (to be seen spinning) in the 'round about' manner of rotation that attempted to exit, using the portal that was a connection to the elbow that turned towards the entrance of the exit (therein) in the back of the rear (facing the front) latched to the attachment that was pinned to the document that was stapled to the glued on partition of the interceeding intervention that caused the events that arose from the arisal of the emitting of the emission of emitants emitted, (in an 'E-missionary' position...HUH??) for the purpose of making the injector unite with the ejection systems direct injection process's, that injects a corner into the bend that goes around the right angle towards the point (that isn't pointed!) as per its cause, "having end" in its beginning, well, at the end of the beginning of the other that began whilst ending on a sour notation that rounded up to corner the end that wasn't spun, but spinning, connected and plugged into the receptacle that was recieving the end, of the beginning, that hadn't begun, thereby begging the question, (clearly) what for?

zoobyshoe

Dec29-03, 05:34 PM

Originally posted by sexual technician and technical sextitian emeritus Mr. Robin Parsons "...thereby begging the question, (clearly) what for?
For begging and questioning, clearly. You can, all you want, but I wont divulge. It's all encoded in gum pressed under table #2 at a cafe in Paris, Le Lapin Dormant, if you're really interested. Tolouse Lautrec once sat at that table. But his feet didn't reach the ground.

...becomes the old adage "Buyer Bewear"
Meaning what? "If the Zooby Shoe fits, wear it."?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec30-03, 09:56 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
...becomes the old adage "Buyer Bewear"
Meaning what? "If the Zooby Shoe fits, wear it."? Given the true nature of a Zoobonians foot, removing the W from the word Be Ware becomes the attentive indicator of the requisite wording: "Buyer Beear!"

Well, while waiting where we were, we went west, whipping wipes with "Wild West" wonderment, wonderful?? well, wine went well with western wear, wasn't while we waited, was while we wasted wallpaper's wistful "wastelandscape water well"?...was women who want wantonly? whooshing wonderfully? well, wasn't....who was?

zoobyshoe

Dec30-03, 10:47 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons ....who was?
Hard to say. Written records have been lost, and precious little got encoded into anyone's long term memory to begin with due to ethanol toxicity levels. I understood there was a cat on this excursion but you make no mention of this so who is to be believed?

And while out west, did you have the interesting experience of a visit to the graveyard at Old Sidewinder, Nevada, where it is rumored the revenances of those killed in shootouts during the town's heyday as a silver mining center, return at midnight each night to reenact their violent and premature exits from the world's stage?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Dec31-03, 06:36 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
And while out west, did you have the interesting experience of a visit to the graveyard at Old Sidewinder, Nevada, where it is rumored the revenances of those killed in shootouts during the town's heyday as a silver mining center, return at midnight each night to reenact their violent and premature exits from the world's stage?
Ahummmm (sadly) No.

Pretty Princesses Play Precisely, pretty people play properly, pretty persons play proportionately, pretty playthings play pretensiously, polite persons play personificationally, prosperous people play perfectly, Parsons plays persistently, perhaps plays possibly, "pourfavor" plays pleasingly, perchance? player? (<- DATS DUH QUETION)

zoobyshoe

Jan7-04, 02:26 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Pretty Princesses Play Precisely, pretty people play properly, pretty persons play proportionately, pretty playthings play pretensiously, polite persons play personificationally, prosperous people play perfectly, Parsons plays persistently, perhaps plays possibly, "pourfavor" plays pleasingly, perchance? player? (<- DATS DUH QUETION)
Prevenient porposes plunge peripatetically producing preposterous predation pressure, plundering potentially precious plasmodia.

Can cats compute? Do dogs digitalize? May marsupials multiply? Surely, snakes subtract?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jan7-04, 09:36 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Can cats compute? Yup! Do dogs digitalize? Nope! May marsupials multiply? Oh Ya! Surely, snakes subtract? Nope! But they can "subduct"

Can you answer this quetion without responding/replieing to the quetion?

zoobyshoe

Jan7-04, 09:47 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Can you answer this quetion without responding/replieing to the quetion?
On D-Day we dropped dummy soldiers on parachuttes over parts of Europe to confuse the Germans as to where the real invasion would take place.

Can you quetion this answer without quetioning the response/reply?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jan8-04, 09:43 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Can you quetion this answer without quetioning the response/reply?
YUP!..."On D-Day we dropped dummy soldiers on parachuttes over parts of Europe to confuse the Germans as to where the real invasion would take place."

While vactioning in Europe, on D-Day, there were a number of "dummy soldiers" dropped upon our heads (No! not literally!.. your so silly to think that!) and we then ascertained that they were, in fact, and in reality, NOT dummies, (they passed their respective IQ tests with parchuting colors) hence the question is sought, (to be responded to) that was, and had, been asked by the questioner?

zoobyshoe

Jan8-04, 12:05 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons While vactioning in Europe, on D-Day, there were a number of "dummy soldiers" dropped upon our heads (No! not literally!.. your so silly to think that!) and we then ascertained that they were, in fact, and in reality, NOT dummies, (they passed their respective IQ tests with parchuting colors) hence the question is sought, (to be responded to) that was, and had, been asked by the questioner?
The question sought, that was, and had, been asked by the questioner, was: "Who sits in the Cartesian theater?" Think about it. You'll be.

What is the acceptable I.Q. score needed to qualify as an enemy-confusing parachutte dummy?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jan8-04, 04:03 PM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What is the acceptable I.Q. score needed to qualify as an enemy-confusing parachutte dummy?
Reference; See, 'Mr. Robin Parsons'

How is it that a MMB with a Neofeminazi Mantismantra "Cooks her Meat"?

zoobyshoe

Jan8-04, 04:58 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons How is it that a MMB with a Neofeminazi Mantismantra "Cooks her Meat"?
The same way she burns it, only less so.

The recent fluctuations in the earth's magnetic field coincided yesterday with a full moon. Could these two factor together to account for the nightmare I suffered in my sleep in which, while trying to eat jello it kept shifting direction paramagnetically whenever I brought the spoon near and which jello kept being bombarded from time to time by what must have been cosmic rays, which left its surface pocked and cratered?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jan9-04, 09:27 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
The recent fluctuations in the earth's magnetic field coincided yesterday with a full moon. Could these two factor together to account for the nightmare I suffered in my sleep in which, while trying to eat jello it kept shifting direction paramagnetically whenever I brought the spoon near and which jello kept being bombarded from time to time by what must have been cosmic rays, which left its surface pocked and cratered?
No...

How is it that zoobyshoe experianced this intense nightmare that is, realistically, and "in actuality", an 'out of body' experiance that is being generated by the mind of the "One Man Thunk Tank" seredipitously?

zoobyshoe

Jan10-04, 06:00 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons, suddenly parsimonious with his answers
No...

How is it that zoobyshoe experianced this intense nightmare that is, realistically, and "in actuality", an 'out of body' experiance that is being generated by the mind of the "One Man Thunk Tank" seredipitously?
It is thus: how, "in actuality", realistically, not experianced, seredipitously. Out or in of body, Jello or nay.

Would you like some dressing for your salad speach?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jan10-04, 11:27 AM

Originally posted by Zoob! (The cat)
Would you like some dressing for your salad speach?
Yes, please a rather 'verbal' one, if it within the range of 'nouns' that you have available to cloth the verbage in a "simps" dress, as to present the vegetable's wordplayings as properly edible...

Think/Thought/thunk that thought thunk thinks thing, thinking thinks thing, thought thunk that there, thunk thought this theoretically, think, thinking thought thunk, thought that theme thought through think, therefore, thought thunk that thought, though think thunk that thought...thinking?

zoobyshoe

Jan12-04, 01:33 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Think/Thought/thunk that thought thunk thinks thing, thinking thinks thing, thought thunk that there, thunk thought this theoretically, think, thinking thought thunk, thought that theme thought through think, therefore, thought thunk that thought, though think thunk that thought...thinking?
Thinking thertainly throbs thermally though thubstantially thinner than thrilling "thunking". (That thounds thexual.)

I recently baked the following adjective from scratch using a recipe I threw together in my spare time: "stermitaceous". Please taste it and decide what its denotation should be.

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jan12-04, 02:58 PM

Originally posted by a petulantly inventive, although not morose, eubulent Zoobyshoe
I recently baked the following adjective from scratch using a recipe I threw together in my spare time: "stermitaceous". Please taste it and decide what its denotation should be.
Stermitaceous: of, or pertaining to, the Stermite period, the time when wild "stermites" ruled the planet, "stermiting" the enemies and friends alike....for further explainations see Stermitisms, Stermitatic, Stermitatisized, Stermiticious, and Stermitisisms...

As one who came from before the Age of the Stermites ("Seven days older then dust" I have been called/labelled) how is it that anyone, or anything, survived the both, horrible, and yet delicious, age?

zoobyshoe

Jan13-04, 01:34 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons As one who came from before the Age of the Stermites ("Seven days older then dust" I have been called/labelled) how is it that anyone, or anything, survived the both, horrible, and yet delicious, age?
Protection during the age of the Stermites was afforded to a very small percentage of life forms by virtue of their being genetically Anstermititic, that is: resistent to being stermitatisized. They were not affected by stermitisms, or stermitisisms, either. Some paleontologists have proposed that frustration at not being able to do anything having the least stermitatic effect on these life forms could in fact be what killed the Stermites off in the end. That, though, is just a theory.

Several recent discoveries among the papers of W.A. Mozart have given rise to considerable doubt as to whether he is the true composer of Mozart's unfinished piano quintet, or perhaps quartette, no one can tell, in three and 4/5ths movements, in the key of c# major, which most scholars believe would be the very first piece he ever composed in the 9th year of his life, were it to be authenticated as one of his, but several meaures of the mysteriously separately copied out manuscript of the 2nd violin part are clearly in the hand of the young genius' father, Mr. Mozart, which has people wondering how much of a hand the elder Mozart had in the whole piece to begin with, a possible explanation for why no one in particular can find much musical merit in this piece, authentic or not, but we can't be sure. Who, then, would like more coffee?

Mr. Robin Parsons

Jan14-04, 06:42 AM

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Several recent discoveries among the papers of W.A. Mozart have given rise to considerable doubt as to whether he is the true composer of Mozart's unfinished piano quintet, or perhaps quartette, no one can tell, in three and 4/5ths movements, in the key of c# major, which most scholars believe would be the very first piece he ever composed in the 9th year of his life, were it to be authenticated as one of his, but several meaures of the mysteriously separately copied out manuscript of the 2nd violin part are clearly in the hand of the young genius' father, Mr. Mozart, which has people wondering how much of a hand the elder Mozart had in the whole piece to begin with, a possible explanation for why no one in particular can find much musical merit in this piece, authentic or not, but we can't be sure. Who, then, would like more coffee? Well Stermitetically speaking, I would like more caffeine, but 4/5ths in the key of "C Corporal", would be the only way it could be done, with the Attached 'Codicil of need' of the authentification of the fraud by ways (and means!) of the truest of lie tellers detecting the heinous methodology of impuning the reality of the right of the authorial person'ages to do, what they had done, in the manner that they hadn't done it, to the very realistic reality that actually occurs in reality, sorta like the Fraud who wasn't fraudulent, ergo De Frauded...not to be confus'd with de Freuded, or "in-blottio"!

When a question 'arises', do you 'sit down'? (to coffee?)