Stalker23 said:
wait what am i saying
what about all the lone pairs around the flourines...each flourine has 3 lone pairs...thats 9 al together agaisn nitogens one lone pair? if lone pairs are so significant, then it would most deifinatly go towars teh flourines right?
dont mean to argues...jsut tryingo t understand a concept not even my tutor could show me
These are all good questions. And the only way to answer them is to tell you that textbooks often ignore the details you are probing, in order to present the basic concept involved as concisely as possible.
Picture the NF3 molecule with the 3 F-atoms below the N-atom, and a lone pair above the N-atom. Now keep in mind that F being much more electronegative than N will have a greater share of the bonding electrons. For every pair of bonding electrons, let's make the crude assumption that F gets 1.5 of them and N nets 0.5 (I'm too lazy to try and dig up the actual numbers). Armed with this "data", let's look at each of the atoms.
First the N-atom : It has 2 electrons (lone pair) above but 3 regions below, each containing only 0.5 electrons. So, there's clearly a net upward moment.
Now let's concentrate on the F-atoms : I'm going to pick anyone of the 3 F-atoms, and refer to the direction towards the N-atom as upwards. So, each F atom has 1.5 electrons above it and 3 lone pairs (2 electrons each) below. This gives each of the F-atoms a small downward (to mean away from the N-atom) dipole moment.
So, looking at the big picture, we have an upward dipole moment on the N-atom and a downward moment from the 3 F-atoms.
It takes a little more work to tell which of these two dipoles is stronger (very briefly, the dipole moment on N will be stronger - even though it's one against three - because it's a bigger atom and the charge imbalance is greater**), but at the very least, you can see why the two contributions act against each other, resulting in a small net dipole moment (upwards).
Your teacher was wrong to say that the dipoles from the 3 F-atoms cancel each other. That can happen only in the molecule was planar (which it clearly is not). No, they do contribute a net downward dipole moment which causes a reduction in the total moment. Hence (and assuming I've not made any careless error here), NF3 should have a much smaller dipole moment than NH3 (where the moments from the H-atoms point upwards - towards the N-atom - and hence, increase the total moment).
(** Ask, if you want a description of how to do this calculation. I might not respond in a hurry - I'm going out of town - but I'll throw in a neat way to figure this out, when I find some time. It's something you won't find in most any text. )