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Twisted Wishes

by twisting_edge
Tags: twisted, wishes
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Math Is Hard
#37
Nov22-06, 01:08 PM
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Quote Quote by Mk View Post
I think you need a wish Echo.
I wish Echo 6 Sierra would make a wish.
twisting_edge
#38
Nov22-06, 01:10 PM
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Quote Quote by Echo 6 Sierra View Post
EDIT: DANGIT!! I wish I could remember to make a wish.
Your wish is granted. You are consumed with the desire to place wishes in this game, displacing all other activities in your life (assuming you had any to start with, of course).

I wish Zotchie (my cat) was just slightly less feral in her behavior.

(It's easy to come up with a wish when one is in the process of losing one's toes to the vicious little beast even as one types.)
theCandyman
#39
Nov22-06, 02:26 PM
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Quote Quote by twisting_edge View Post
I wish Zotchie (my cat) was just slightly less feral in her behavior.
Granted, your cat has become so domesticated it starts sleeping in your bed and using the bathroom when you need to use it.

I wish for world peace.
twisting_edge
#40
Nov22-06, 02:36 PM
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Quote Quote by theCandyman View Post
I wish for world peace.
Your wish is granted. A dictator takes over the entire world and enslaves all the people. Those that would resist have been entirely eradicated.

I wish my car ran well without consuming any fuel.

P.S.: Zotchie already sleeps on the bed (the more easily to fang me at her leisure when she wakes up for a midnight snack), and uses the bathroom when I do.
BobG
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Nov22-06, 02:37 PM
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Quote Quote by theCandyman View Post
Granted, your cat has become so domesticated it starts sleeping in your bed and using the bathroom when you need to use it.

I wish for world peace.
Granted. The Sun will become a red giant, bringing everlasting peace on Earth.

I wish I had some sunscreen.
Math Is Hard
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Nov22-06, 02:56 PM
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Quote Quote by BobG View Post
Granted. The Sun will become a red giant, bringing everlasting peace on Earth.

I wish I had some sunscreen.
Granted. Unfortunately, it's tuna fish flavored sunscreen and now a pack of feral cats follows you everywhere you go.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.
Moonbear
#43
Nov22-06, 03:08 PM
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Quote Quote by Math Is Hard View Post
I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.
I can't resist...your wish is granted. Unfortunately, you discover that Oscar Mayer is more twisted than your wish and dips his weiner into places you never wanted to go (it was tough keeping this one PG-13 ).

I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.
turbo
#44
Nov22-06, 03:17 PM
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Quote Quote by Moonbear View Post
I can't resist...your wish is granted. Unfortunately, you discover that Oscar Mayer is more twisted than your wish and dips his weiner into places you never wanted to go (it was tough keeping this one PG-13 ).

I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.
Your wish is granted. The big, trollish-looking fellow who lives by the bridge takes your clothes down to the river and pounds them with rocks. Unfortunately, you are still wearing them.

I wish that my (t)rusty old Nissan pickup would never wear out.
BobG
#45
Nov22-06, 03:18 PM
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Quote Quote by Moonbear View Post
I can't resist...your wish is granted. Unfortunately, you discover that Oscar Mayer is more twisted than your wish and dips his weiner into places you never wanted to go (it was tough keeping this one PG-13 ).

I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.
Granted. I'll do your laundry for you. You don't mind if everything comes out the same color, right? It'll make it easier to color coordinate your outfits. You're not too picky about the size either, right? The tighter, the better.

I really wish I had ....

No, wait, I can't just repeat the same wish.

I wish I had a leaf blower.
twisting_edge
#46
Nov22-06, 03:19 PM
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Quote Quote by Moonbear View Post
I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.
Your wish is granted. You are now married to Quasimodo.

I wish they'd quit cutting down all the trees on my street.
SticksandStones
#47
Nov22-06, 03:22 PM
P: 104
Your wish is granted. The trees grow so large, that they cause damage to the power lines and catch fire.

I wish for a new tree.
Moonbear
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Nov22-06, 03:24 PM
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I had no idea so many people would jump to do my laundry!

Quote Quote by turbo-1 View Post
I wish that my (t)rusty old Nissan pickup would never wear out.
Quote Quote by BobG View Post
I wish I had a leaf blower.
Quote Quote by twisting_edge View Post
I wish they'd quit cutting down all the trees on my street.
All three are granted: they quit cutting down all the trees on t_e's street, and start cutting down all the ones in BobG's neighborhood instead. Unfortunately, they have also delivered all the leaf blowers to BobG's neighborhood, so all the leaves dropped by the new forest growing in t_e's neighborhood must be raked by hand. turbo's pick up never wears out, but it also never turns off and sounds a lot like a leaf blower running all night long. His neighbors are threatening to club him with the logs they collected from BobG's neighborhood.

Well, since I got such wonderful help with the laundry......I wish for a new wardrobe.
BobG
#49
Nov22-06, 03:29 PM
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Quote Quote by Moonbear View Post
I had no idea so many people would jump to do my laundry!







All three are granted: they quit cutting down all the trees on t_e's street, and start cutting down all the ones in BobG's neighborhood instead. Unfortunately, they have also delivered all the leaf blowers to BobG's neighborhood, so all the leaves dropped by the new forest growing in t_e's neighborhood must be raked by hand. turbo's pick up never wears out, but it also never turns off and sounds a lot like a leaf blower running all night long. His neighbors are threatening to club him with the logs they collected from BobG's neighborhood.

Well, since I got such wonderful help with the laundry......I wish for a new wardrobe.
Granted. You've just inherited all the costumes from 'Brady Bunch, The Movie'.

I wish togas were back in style.
twisting_edge
#50
Nov22-06, 03:37 PM
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Quote Quote by BobG View Post
I wish togas were back in style.
Your wish is granted. You now live with a bunch of people who watched Animal House far too many times for their (or anyone else's) good.

I wish I were as good at coming up with wishes as I am at the snappy answers.

[edit: the original wish was "I wish I had a really powerful computer", but I changed it immediately....evidently not soon enough, though.]
Evo
#51
Nov22-06, 03:54 PM
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Quote Quote by twisting_edge View Post
I wish I were as good at coming up with wishes as I am at the snappy answers.]
Your wish is granted. Now you can't come up with snappy answers OR wishes.

I wish I had turkey sandwich.
turbo
#52
Nov22-06, 03:57 PM
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Quote Quote by Evo View Post
Your wish is granted. Now you can't come up with snappy answers OR wishes.

I wish I had turkey sandwich.
Your wish is granted. You have dry breast meat on white bread with no mayo seasonings, or anything else. Unfortunately, that is the only food you get from now on.

I wish it was tomorrow already, so I can eat the from-scratch pumpkin pie that's in the oven.
Moonbear
#53
Nov22-06, 04:05 PM
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Quote Quote by turbo-1 View Post
I wish it was tomorrow already, so I can eat the from-scratch pumpkin pie that's in the oven.
Granted, unfortunately, the pumpkin pie is STILL in the oven and burnt to little more than ashes by morning, but you get to enjoy licking up the dust.

I wish I had woken up a few hours earlier today to have gotten a few more chores done by now.
McGyver
#54
Nov23-06, 02:39 PM
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Your wish is granted! From now on, every day you wake up - it will be November 22nd, 2006. After several repeating days, you will either figure out an efficient way to perform these chores in less time, thereby creating additional open time - or - you will decide the chores are unnecessary, and then you will have lots of available time.

I wish I didn't have to learn and remember tasks in my office.


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