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Almighty Cleanse ™

by Ivan Seeking
Tags: almighty, cleanse
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_Mayday_
#19
Feb10-08, 04:51 PM
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Quote Quote by mgb_phys View Post
I was worried that mine was less than 6ft - but fortunately the next ad was for a big pickup being swung around on a centrifuge so I compensated by buing that instead!
Oh my that was good!
larkspur
#20
Feb10-08, 06:53 PM
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Quote Quote by Math Is Hard View Post


Turbo Cleanse™
Good one MIH!
GeorginaS
#21
Feb10-08, 10:00 PM
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Quote Quote by Math Is Hard View Post
It sounds like it would clean the bathroom, clean your colon, and provide eternal salvation - all for one low price!


Okay, I hurt myself laughing at this.
chroot
#22
Feb11-08, 01:14 PM
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Maybe uncontrollable belly laughter promotes frequent bowel movements, and thus the infomercial itself can help those suffering from stools under six feet in length.

And really, if man were meant to deliver six-foot porcelain monsters, one would think that the common toilet would have been made larger than 18 inches in diameter. If this man's product really worked, you'd have to re-fit your house with toilets the size of bathtubs. Just try to avoid falling in one of those, ladies, when your damned lazy husband leaves the seat up again.

- Warren
turbo
#23
Feb11-08, 01:17 PM
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Quote Quote by chroot View Post
Just try to avoid falling in one of those, ladies, when your damned lazy husband leaves the seat up again.

- Warren
We have a lady friend with a husband and a pack of little sons, and she made a point of asking everybody to leave the seat up! She said she'd rather put it down to use it than clean spatters off the seat.
_Mayday_
#24
Feb11-08, 01:19 PM
P: 815
Hold on a second...I've just realized how absurd this is. I am not even 6 foot, so it would be like giving birth to something longer than me, and the length of your colon, which it is apparently "cleansing" is nothing like that. Do we really need to debunk this one?
Poop-Loops
#25
Feb11-08, 01:58 PM
P: 863
Quote Quote by chroot View Post
Maybe uncontrollable belly laughter promotes frequent bowel movements, and thus the infomercial itself can help those suffering from stools under six feet in length.

And really, if man were meant to deliver six-foot porcelain monsters, one would think that the common toilet would have been made larger than 18 inches in diameter. If this man's product really worked, you'd have to re-fit your house with toilets the size of bathtubs. Just try to avoid falling in one of those, ladies, when your damned lazy husband leaves the seat up again.

- Warren
I can see this as an Olympic event.

Not just for length and girth, total mass, or whatever, but actual honest-to-God races, as to who can leave a trail of stool behind him. The 6-meter Stool Dash! Performance enhancement drugs, such as laxatives and muscle relaxants, are strictly prohibited.
mgb_phys
#26
Feb11-08, 02:49 PM
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Quote Quote by Poop-Loops View Post
Performance enhancement drugs, such as laxatives and muscle relaxants, are strictly prohibited.
what about turbo's chile?
Math Is Hard
#27
Feb11-08, 02:50 PM
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Quote Quote by mgb_phys View Post
what about turbo's chile?
turbo
#28
Feb11-08, 02:52 PM
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Quote Quote by mgb_phys View Post
what about turbo's chile?
I could use extra beans and really clean up in the competition.

Well, someone would have to actually clean up, and I don't want to volunteer for that position.
DaveC426913
#29
Feb11-08, 07:24 PM
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Quote Quote by _Mayday_ View Post
Hold on a second...I've just realized how absurd this is. I am not even 6 foot, so it would be like giving birth to something longer than me, and the length of your colon...
Are all of you forgeting the principle of extrusion? It's just a matter of good muscle control - and a really robust O-ring...
turbo
#30
Feb11-08, 07:40 PM
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Quote Quote by DaveC426913 View Post
Are all of you forgeting the principle of extrusion? It's just a matter of good muscle control - and a really robust O-ring...
Yes! Extrusion would win out. Low density materials, high pressure, small orifice..... Dave are you planning to win this thing?
Moonbear
#31
Feb11-08, 08:38 PM
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Quote Quote by chroot View Post
Maybe uncontrollable belly laughter promotes frequent bowel movements, and thus the infomercial itself can help those suffering from stools under six feet in length.

And really, if man were meant to deliver six-foot porcelain monsters, one would think that the common toilet would have been made larger than 18 inches in diameter. If this man's product really worked, you'd have to re-fit your house with toilets the size of bathtubs. Just try to avoid falling in one of those, ladies, when your damned lazy husband leaves the seat up again.

- Warren
The guy in that infomercial just looks creepy too.
Kurdt
#32
Feb11-08, 08:55 PM
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Would you be banned from competing if you had IBS?
Greg Bernhardt
#33
Feb11-08, 09:05 PM
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Here is part of the informercial, enjoy!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fVD2feFaQ-Q
Poop-Loops
#34
Feb11-08, 09:47 PM
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And when you win, people would throw Tums at you from the stands.
Greg Bernhardt
#35
Apr24-08, 05:56 PM
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Another product similiar, looks just as scammy
http://www.greenteaoffer.com/default.aspx?adid=gtv1001
Tsu
#36
Apr29-08, 11:42 PM
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Almight Cleanse - It's a bowel evacuant, a floor wax, AND a dessert topping!!!!!111


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