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Classmate who smells...awkward moment

by Femme_physics
Tags: classmate, moment, smellsawkward
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lisab
#19
Apr13-11, 02:43 PM
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I guess you could sugar-coat it a bit (basically a white lie) and say, "I have allergies, and for some reason I have a reaction when I'm near you."

Not sure if the first part of the statement is true, but it is true that you "have a reaction" when he's near.
JaredJames
#20
Apr13-11, 02:46 PM
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Quote Quote by lisab View Post
I guess you could sugar-coat it a bit (basically a white lie) and say, "I have allergies, and for some reason I have a reaction when I'm near you."
"Uh, yeah, you see I have this allergy and it always flares up around you..."
"Really? What are you allergic to?"
"Bad smells"
Not sure if the first part of the statement is true, but it is true that you "have a reaction" when he's near.
Possible downside: he believes it's the little amount of aftershave he uses and decideds to just completely give up...
Proton Soup
#21
Apr13-11, 11:52 PM
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Quote Quote by I like Serena View Post
It depends on how smart he is.

He should already have figured it out.
If he has, it probably doesn't matter all that much what you do, just be cool about it.

But if he hasn't figured it out, it's bad that you rejected him, when he doesn't know why.
It will make him feel insecure and that's a bad place to be.

If or when you tell him, I think it's important that you make clear you kind of like him, but that you just can't stand the smell.
I think you should avoid telling him that he should wash more, that is, avoid telling him what to do, just make clear what it is that you dislike. He can draw his own conclusions and take appropriate action, or not (depends on how much he likes you and wants to please you).
i disagree. it seems that some people can be plenty smart and plenty stubborn, too. especially if they're a bit on the socially disabled side. we've had them coming on the forum complaining about others complaining that they don't bathe.

and speaking of funk, i chose a seat poorly today. i kept getting a whiff of loaded diaper. only have a wild guess of which one it was.
KingNothing
#22
Apr14-11, 02:57 AM
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You could be honest with him, or avoid the discussion. Frankly the whole "hinting game" that girls play is really stupid.
xxChrisxx
#23
Apr14-11, 03:03 AM
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Quote Quote by lisab View Post
I guess you could sugar-coat it a bit (basically a white lie) and say, "I have allergies, and for some reason I have a reaction when I'm near you."

Not sure if the first part of the statement is true, but it is true that you "have a reaction" when he's near.
This is a typical response from women, lie to protect feelings. It's completely the wrong one for a man to deal with. It just sets someone up for a bigger blow later. Being honest and to the point is by far the best option when dealing with a man.

He may genuinely not know he smells, which will be embarassing but he'll make a conscious effort.
He may know and it's because he has a medical condition (such as http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trimethylaminuria) - which will also be embarrasing but at least there is an explination.

Or he may just be smelly and not care, so there is no harm in telling him.
Femme_physics
#24
Apr15-11, 08:18 AM
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I told him today. Yes, I also told him that I like him but that I smelled a bad smell at tuesday's class that I thought was coming from him and that's why I moved. It was kinda awkward and embarrassing, he was unsure what to say, got a bit defensive and told me he's always putting on the deodorant. I wasn't really sure what to say back. "I'm not sure what it was, I just had to move." I said. Though, I'm sure it was him and he's in denial. He did say eventually "I appreciate your honesty."

Suffice to say, it was a really short and awkward conversation and I didn't sit next to him that day or spoke to him that day. Damn it. But, it had to happened I guess...


(Funny thing though, someone moved away from ME at the break! I immediately went up to him and went "what the hell? do I smell bad?" and then I sniffed my armpits lol. He was like "god forbid of course not! There's just too much chattering in that area"....)
JaredJames
#25
Apr15-11, 08:20 AM
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Quote Quote by Femme_physics View Post
He was like "god forbid of course not! There's just too much chattering in that area"....)
Yeah, because a woman comes up to you screaching "what the hell? do I smell bad?" and you're going to tell her the truth...
xxChrisxx
#26
Apr15-11, 08:58 AM
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Quote Quote by jarednjames View Post
Yeah, because a woman comes up to you screaching "what the hell? do I smell bad?" and you're going to tell her the truth...
I would. I'd probably do it just to be awkward, and becuse it would be interesting to see the reaction.
lisab
#27
Apr15-11, 09:29 AM
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Quote Quote by xxChrisxx View Post
I would. I'd probably do it just to be awkward, and becuse it would be interesting to see the reaction.
You'd lie to make someone feel uncomfortable and awkward, just to see their reaction?
JaredJames
#28
Apr15-11, 09:31 AM
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Quote Quote by lisab View Post
You'd lie to make someone feel uncomfortable and awkward, just to see their reaction?
Assuming it's a lie.

My post was meant to say "even if she was, with that reaction to you moving would you tell her the truth?".
lisab
#29
Apr15-11, 09:37 AM
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Quote Quote by jarednjames View Post
Assuming it's a lie.

My post was meant to say "even if she was, with that reaction to you moving would you tell her the truth?".
OK, I understand. But to say something (truth or not truth) when your motivation is to see someone squirm...well, that's not a kind thing. I'm not saying you'd do that btw .
xxChrisxx
#30
Apr15-11, 10:35 AM
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Quote Quote by lisab View Post
You'd lie to make someone feel uncomfortable and awkward, just to see their reaction?
Depends completely on the scenario.

Run up to me, and use the phrase "what the hell? do I smell bad?" out of the blue. My immediate response would be yes.

Ask in a non crazy way and I would be honest.
Femme_physics
#31
Apr15-11, 11:02 AM
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Ask in a non crazy way and I would be honest.
LOL! It's just my personality.

But I actually do make sure to put deodorant, perfume and not wear something I wore without washing it. Plus, I'm a girl, so I naturally smell good anyway.
I like Serena
#32
Apr15-11, 11:19 AM
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Quote Quote by Femme_physics View Post
I told him today. Yes, I also told him that I like him but that I smelled a bad smell at tuesday's class that I thought was coming from him and that's why I moved. It was kinda awkward and embarrassing, he was unsure what to say, got a bit defensive and told me he's always putting on the deodorant. I wasn't really sure what to say back. "I'm not sure what it was, I just had to move." I said. Though, I'm sure it was him and he's in denial. He did say eventually "I appreciate your honesty."

Suffice to say, it was a really short and awkward conversation and I didn't sit next to him that day or spoke to him that day. Damn it. But, it had to happened I guess...


(Funny thing though, someone moved away from ME at the break! I immediately went up to him and went "what the hell? do I smell bad?" and then I sniffed my armpits lol. He was like "god forbid of course not! There's just too much chattering in that area"....)
I think it's a good thing that you approached him about it.
Apparently he didn't know yet and he really should know.
Also, I believe it's important to not just tell him and walk away, but to give him a chance to digest it, and by taking the time to listen to him and talk about it, you also show you care, and that you don't reject him as a person.

Sounds like you did right!

[edit]Just keep the chattering down will you? [/edit]
Borek
#33
Apr15-11, 11:26 AM
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Quote Quote by I like Serena View Post
Sounds like you did right!
We won't know without smelling a guy next month.
Femme_physics
#34
Apr15-11, 11:58 AM
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Quote Quote by I like Serena View Post
I think it's a good thing that you approached him about it.
Apparently he didn't know yet and he really should know.
Also, I believe it's important to not just tell him and walk away, but to give him a chance to digest it, and by taking the time to listen to him and talk about it, you also show you care, and that you don't reject him as a person.

Sounds like you did right!

[edit]Just keep the chattering down will you? [/edit]
Thanks Serena! :) I really appreciate your feedback.
I like Serena
#35
Apr15-11, 02:10 PM
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Quote Quote by Borek View Post
We won't know without smelling a guy next month.
@FP: will you let us know if he smells like roses next time?
Femme_physics
#36
Apr15-11, 02:22 PM
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LOL I feel kinda embarrassed to sit next to him now, and I'm still slightly worried he might smell tbh :P


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