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Lame Jokes

by quddusaliquddus
Tags: jokes, lame
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genepool
#1657
Aug28-11, 06:35 PM
P: 1
Quote Quote by Lancelot59 View Post
I don't get it.
I didn't either at first.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Bit of a stretch.
lisab
#1658
Aug28-11, 08:05 PM
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Quote Quote by genepool View Post
I didn't either at first.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Bit of a stretch.
well, it is in the Lame Jokes thread!
Lancelot59
#1659
Aug29-11, 01:12 AM
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Quote Quote by genepool View Post
I didn't either at first.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Bit of a stretch.
Maybe if you stretch it past the breaking point...but okay.
ThomasT
#1660
Aug29-11, 03:08 AM
P: 1,414
Quote Quote by lisab View Post
well, it is in the Lame Jokes thread!
Exactly. There are far to many clever and funny jokes in this thread imo.
ThomasT
#1661
Aug29-11, 03:12 AM
P: 1,414
This is especially for Lancelot59:

Dracula goes to Rome and checks into the Grand Italia Hotel.
The bellhop, after bringing in his coffin, asks if there is anything he
can do for him. Dracula says, "Yes, there is," and lunges for the boy's
throat. After draining the blood from him, Dracula throws the bellhop's
lifeless body out his bedroom window. The body lands on a policeman
stationed in front of the
hotel. The impact sends the policeman sprawling to the ground.
Meanwhile, Dracula still has not satisfied his bloodlust, so he goes
into the hotel's hallway and grabs a chambermaid. When finished with
her, he throws her drained body out the same window. This body, too,
lands on the unfortunate policeman, who has just managed to dust himself
off after the first assault. This time, however, he was knocked cold.
A half hour later the police commissioner arrives on the scene and
manages to get the unconscious officer back to his senses. "Officer
Vetillo, can you explain what is going on here?" the commissioner asks as
he looks at the dead drained bodies on the ground.
"I don't honestly know, sir. [Racial slur removed]"
ThomasT
#1662
Aug29-11, 03:14 AM
P: 1,414
A fellow goes to confession and tells the priest, "Father, I've
had an affair with another woman."
"I see," says the priest, looking very grave. "But, I cannot grant
you absolution until you tell me who she is."
"Well, okay, Father," says the guy somewhat reluctantly. "Her name
is Pussy Green, and she's a blonde and a knockout."
The following Sunday, this gorgeous blonde makes her way down the
aisle and into the front pew. The priest takes a few good looks and
finally asks the altar boy, "Son, is that Pussy Green?"
The altar boy stoops down and peers, then says, "No, Father, I think
that's just the reflection from the stained glass windows."
Lancelot59
#1663
Aug29-11, 10:48 AM
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P: 675
Quote Quote by ThomasT View Post
This is especially for Lancelot59:

Dracula goes to Rome and checks into the Grand Italia Hotel.
The bellhop, after bringing in his coffin, asks if there is anything he
can do for him. Dracula says, "Yes, there is," and lunges for the boy's
throat. After draining the blood from him, Dracula throws the bellhop's
lifeless body out his bedroom window. The body lands on a policeman
stationed in front of the
hotel. The impact sends the policeman sprawling to the ground.
Meanwhile, Dracula still has not satisfied his bloodlust, so he goes
into the hotel's hallway and grabs a chambermaid. When finished with
her, he throws her drained body out the same window. This body, too,
lands on the unfortunate policeman, who has just managed to dust himself
off after the first assault. This time, however, he was knocked cold.
A half hour later the police commissioner arrives on the scene and
manages to get the unconscious officer back to his senses. "Officer
Vetillo, can you explain what is going on here?" the commissioner asks as
he looks at the dead drained bodies on the ground.
"I don't honestly know, sir. [Racial slur removed]"
Eh...I think I get it.

Quote Quote by ThomasT View Post
A fellow goes to confession and tells the priest, "Father, I've
had an affair with another woman."
"I see," says the priest, looking very grave. "But, I cannot grant
you absolution until you tell me who she is."
"Well, okay, Father," says the guy somewhat reluctantly. "Her name
is Pussy Green, and she's a blonde and a knockout."
The following Sunday, this gorgeous blonde makes her way down the
aisle and into the front pew. The priest takes a few good looks and
finally asks the altar boy, "Son, is that Pussy Green?"
The altar boy stoops down and peers, then says, "No, Father, I think
that's just the reflection from the stained glass windows."
I get it...
FtlIsAwesome
#1664
Aug29-11, 03:41 PM
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P: 193
A creeper divided by zero.




Borek
#1665
Aug31-11, 08:38 AM
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P: 23,402
There are two rules that lead to a success:
1. Never say everything you know.
fuzzyfelt
#1666
Aug31-11, 03:30 PM
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P: 742
Quote Quote by Borek View Post
There are two rules that lead to a success:
1. Never say everything you know.
I didn't get it the first time I clicked on this thread. Luckily I accidentally clicked on it again!
BobG
#1667
Sep2-11, 08:37 AM
Sci Advisor
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P: 2,278
A Colorado man whose foot was trapped under a trailer for almost 30 minutes freed himself by cutting off all five of his toes. He wrapped his foot up in his shirt and drove until his cell phone was finally able to receive a signal and then called an ambulance. He should have called a tow truck.

Montrose man cuts off toes to free foot from six ton trailer
turbo
#1668
Sep2-11, 08:42 AM
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P: 7,363
Quote Quote by BobG View Post
A Colorado man whose foot was trapped under a trailer for almost 30 minutes freed himself by cutting off all five of his toes. He wrapped his foot up in his shirt and drove until his cell phone was finally able to receive a signal and then called an ambulance. He should have called a tow toe truck.
Fixed that for you.
Isaacsname
#1669
Sep3-11, 01:38 PM
P: 60
What's the difference between narcolepsy and ...ZZZzzzzzzZZzzzzzz....zzzzZZZzzzzzz
HeLiXe
#1670
Sep3-11, 03:06 PM
P: 410
lololz
jtbell
#1671
Sep3-11, 10:30 PM
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P: 11,631
A man walks into a pet shop.

Says he: "I'd like to buy a frog."

Sales associate: "Yes, sir. Would you like flies with that?"
leontd
#1672
Sep4-11, 03:49 AM
P: 16
A caveman fought his way out of the cave when he heard "VOTE NOW FOR CHANGE"!
HeLiXe
#1673
Sep4-11, 10:10 AM
P: 410
Quote Quote by leontd View Post
A caveman fought his way out of the cave when he heard "VOTE NOW FOR CHANGE"!
I don't get it
FizixFreak
#1674
Sep5-11, 09:45 AM
P: 188
What did argon said to florine when she told him that he was very insensitive..........?

Argon simply didnt reacted


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