Lame Jokes

HeLiXe

lololz

turbo

Why was the rap-singing stunt-pilot arrested?

For jinking and jiving.

Drakkith

This one...hurts...my brain...

HeLiXe

lololollollll that was so great

Ivan Seeking

Ivan Seeking

Son: Dad, how will I know when it's the right time to get married?

Dad: When the little stick turns blue.

Borek

- If I die first, please, marry Jake.
- I thought you hate him?
- Exactly.

gatztopher

Saw this here ( http://tony.aiu.to/jokes/condoms.html ) had to post it

The Klein Bottle Condom: Modeled after the Klein bottle by a sexologist/topologist doing a study on transpatial invagination, Kleins are only for the most adventurous condom wearer since it is almost as difficult to get one off as it is to get it on (doing either has been compared to solving Rubik's cube). Theoretically, since they are one-sided, they must be totally impermeable and therefore the most effective condoms. Others believe the condom is so effective because it redirects the load into the fourth dimension (this may explain the "warning: side affects include becoming one's own grandpa"). Each package comes with an instruction booklet that is, unfortunately, 58 pages long.

csmcmillion

One Young-Earth Creationist says to another "Which is closer - the Moon or Mexico"? The other points at the Moon and replies "The Moon - Duh! You can't see Mexico from here".

feathermoon

Two fish are in a tank, one looks at the other and says...

..."You man the guns, I'll drive!"

Get it? Fish can't talk!

feathermoon

Q: Why do so few flights take off from Wroclaw?

A: Because you have to be very careful when putting simple Poles on complex planes.

Ivan Seeking

Shouldn't that read, "You fish the guns, I'll drive!"?

I_am_learning

Teacher: There are 5 oranges on a mango tree. If I pick up 3 tomatoes how many potatoes would be left?
Students: It would be, 2 Elephants sir.
Teacher: Fantastic, How did you figure it out?
Students: Because we have omelets for our lunch today.

Moral of the Story: You have to brush your teeth twice daily, otherwise you would have rats on your home.

(Does this joke qualify for lame joke? (I don't actually know what a lame joke is?))

Isaacsname

Do you know what's the most difficult thing about licking hallucinogenic toads ?

They're ticklish when you get down around the testes.

Ivan Seeking

Last night, my wife, Tsu, and I had little disagreement. After a bit of discussion she agreed that I was right. "Of course I am", said I, "That's why God made me the man!"

She just stared at me; apparently left speechless by this amazing demonstration of perfect logic.

Drakkith

Was that all your stuff outside on the lawn this morning?

Lancelot59

Or mysteriously missing with a big black stain on the lawn?