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Lame Jokes

by quddusaliquddus
Tags: jokes, lame
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jtbell
#2341
Nov27-12, 08:35 PM
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Quote Quote by IMP View Post
K9P
Hmmm.... phosphorus nonopotride?
Jimmy Snyder
#2342
Nov28-12, 02:34 AM
P: 2,179
Quote Quote by jtbell View Post
Hmmm.... phosphorus nonopotride?
You're in.
Isaacsname
#2343
Nov28-12, 06:00 PM
P: 60
I grew up in a Mexican-Jewish family, we always had a Jesus pinata for Hannukah.

I'm so confused
Isaacsname
#2344
Nov29-12, 08:49 AM
P: 60
Quote Quote by Jimmy Snyder View Post
You're in.
You just wanted to fire off a plug about body fluids.
dkotschessaa
#2345
Nov30-12, 06:56 AM
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P: 586
A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think
I'm shrinking!"

The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a
little patient."
Isaacsname
#2346
Nov30-12, 09:08 PM
P: 60
Take any website, news sites and Wikipedia work great, and enter the http address into the bar on " Gizoogle " for an instant translation to " hoodspeak ".

http://www.gizoogle.net/

*Warning, if you have an aversion to foul language, look away*

*Otoh, this may be useful to teachers in the inner cities*
jtbell
#2347
Nov30-12, 09:32 PM
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Why did the salmon cross the road?



Because it was being chased by a hungry chicken.
IMP
#2348
Dec4-12, 04:22 PM
P: 71
A woman puts an ad in the paper looking for a man who wouldn't run away at the sight of commitment, who wouldn't hit her, and could fulfill her while making love. Two weeks go by and nothing. Finally one day the door bell rings. She opens the door and sees a no-armed, no-legged man.

She looks at him and asks, "How do you expect to fulfill my wishes?"

He explains, "I have no arms to hit you with and no legs to run away."

Then she says, "And the last part?"

He looks at her and says, "I rang the door bell, didn't I?"
dkotschessaa
#2349
Dec4-12, 05:22 PM
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P: 586
Quote Quote by Isaacsname View Post
Take any website, news sites and Wikipedia work great, and enter the http address into the bar on " Gizoogle " for an instant translation to " hoodspeak ".

http://www.gizoogle.net/

*Warning, if you have an aversion to foul language, look away*

*Otoh, this may be useful to teachers in the inner cities*
This is so awesome. Here's a section on graph theory:

"A "graph" up in dis context be a collection of "vertices" and "nodes" n' a collection of edges dat connec' pairz of vertices fo' realz. A graph may be unpimped out, meanin dat there is no distinction between tha two vertices associated wit each edge, and itz edges may be pimped out from one vertex ta another; peep graph (mathematics) fo' mo' detailed definitions n' fo' other variations up in tha typez of graph dat is commonly considered."

I can't wait to learn more about unpimped out graphs.

haha "
Da papa written by Leonhard Euler on tha Seven Bridgez of Königsberg n' published up in 1736 is regarded as tha straight-up original gangsta papa up in tha history of graph theory."
OmCheeto
#2350
Dec4-12, 08:44 PM
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Quote Quote by dkotschessaa View Post
This is so awesome. Here's a section on graph theory:

"A "graph" up in dis context be a collection of "vertices" and "nodes" n' a collection of edges dat connec' pairz of vertices fo' realz. A graph may be unpimped out, meanin dat there is no distinction between tha two vertices associated wit each edge, and itz edges may be pimped out from one vertex ta another; peep graph (mathematics) fo' mo' detailed definitions n' fo' other variations up in tha typez of graph dat is commonly considered."

I can't wait to learn more about unpimped out graphs.

haha "
Da papa written by Leonhard Euler on tha Seven Bridgez of Königsberg n' published up in 1736 is regarded as tha straight-up original gangsta papa up in tha history of graph theory."
It is very funny. I put the url for this page in, and didn't see much out of the ordinary, as I usually just skim the first 5 or 6 words. So I decided to read Borek's post fully:

Quote Quote by Frajilized Borek
Junior is buyin a freshly smoked up TV set fo' his wild lil' flat, n' he ordered it all up in tha web. Our thugged-out ***es was chattin all up in tha time n' he holla'd some shiznit like "the joint has flavas dat was so irritatin mah eyes exploded afta I put tha order". Right back up in yo m****f***** a**. So I busted some lyrics ta his *** "Cizzlel tha order, yo a** won't need TV now".
I didn't share this revelation, as, well, there is a LOT of inappropriate "foul language".

-------------------------
But it was fun to imagine Borek talking like that.
Drakkith
#2351
Dec4-12, 08:56 PM
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Read this: http://www.gizoogle.net/tranzizzle.p...it+Dis+Shiznit
Borek
#2352
Dec5-12, 01:51 AM
Admin
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P: 23,363
Quote Quote by OmCheeto View Post
Quote Quote by Frajilized Borek
Junior is buyin a freshly smoked up TV set fo' his wild lil' flat, n' he ordered it all up in tha web. Our thugged-out ***es was chattin all up in tha time n' he holla'd some shiznit like "the joint has flavas dat was so irritatin mah eyes exploded afta I put tha order". Right back up in yo m****f***** a**. So I busted some lyrics ta his *** "Cizzlel tha order, yo a** won't need TV now".
AlephZero
#2353
Dec5-12, 10:37 AM
Engineering
Sci Advisor
HW Helper
Thanks
P: 6,948
There used to be a cleaner version of this called "jive" included in some versions of Unix. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jive_filter
Jimmy Snyder
#2354
Dec7-12, 07:40 PM
P: 2,179
South Jersey - Dec 7, 2012. A crowd of angry commuters, frustrated because their train was more than usually late, dragged the clerk from the ticket booth and tied him to the track and left him there to die. The poor man starved to death.
jedishrfu
#2355
Dec7-12, 08:11 PM
P: 2,782
Funny but true. A senior citizens home was having trouble keeping all the residents from wandering off. Someone suggested they build a fake bus stop out front. Local residents came initially to wait and home staff told them that it was fake.

The strategy worked whenever a resident was missing they'd look outside and see they were waiting for the bus. A staff member would go out and sit with them for awhile and then invite them back inside. Later when residents became anxious about seeing someone or going home the staff would suggest they take the bus.

Recent NPR story about a home in Germany ( or was it radiolab - I keep forgetting maybe ill just take the bus)
jedishrfu
#2356
Dec7-12, 08:15 PM
P: 2,782
Update it was radiolab but where is that darn bus?

http://www.radiolab.org/blogs/radiol.../the-bus-stop/
dkotschessaa
#2357
Dec14-12, 07:47 AM
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P: 586
(going around FB, but I like sharing here)

Did you hear that Oxygen and Potassium went on a date?

It went OK.
Isaacsname
#2358
Dec16-12, 03:08 PM
P: 60
What pickup line did Mr. Potatohead use on the future Ms. Potatohead ?

" Hey baby, what say we go make some fries ? "


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