Create a Math Poem for College Students

[ermines]

hey guys, i was just wondering if you could help me make a poem about math, college math, that is.

i know you guys are very talented at this, and I'm not.

any theme is okay...

hope you could really help me guys... :)

 

[Math Is Hard]

1) what class is this for?

2) got any words that rhyme with Pythagoras?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Tea-bag torus?

Flea-bag taurus?

 

[Chen]

http://mathstory.com/Poems/Mathpoemspage.html

 

[Math Is Hard]

hmmm.. ok, Zoob, you're right - that's too hard. we should take some liberties with the name pronunciation first

a brilliant old man named Pye-THAH-garus,
yada yadda you yada you yada ya,
yada yada you ya -
yada yada you ya,
Til he popped some prescription Viagaras.

(the middle part's giving me trouble)

 

[Math Is Hard]

or maybe limericks are the wrong way to go altogether for this project. they just have a tendency to come out naughty.

 

[zoobyshoe]

No one could beat W.S. Gilbert at this sort of thing. Do you know the Modern Major Generals song:

I am very well aquainted, too, with matters mathematical.
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical.
About binomiel theorem I am teaming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypoteneuse!

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Math Is Hard
or maybe limericks are the wrong way to go altogether for this project. they just have a tendency to come out naughty.

Yeah, but I just accidently found two more rhymes for Pythagorus:

Cattaugarus - a county in NY

Catadromous: living in freshwater and going to the sea to spawn <~eels>

 

[Math Is Hard]

It doesn't get much easier with Leibniz! ;-)

 

[Artman]

Here is a weak attempt:

In college level Math
My grades will be taking a bath.

Algebraically speaking,
The answers I'm seeking,

But finding no more than half.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Artman
Here is a weak attempt:

In college level Math
My grades will be taking a bath.

Algebraically speaking,
The answers I'm seeking,

But finding no more than half.

Artman, I found this quite inspiring, and it stirred me to take what you offered and develop it further:

In college level math
My grades will take a bath.

Algebraically speaking,
My grades: they will be reeking.

In calculus, Newtonian
My grades will make me moan again.

Despite statistical luck,
My grades will surely suck.

 

[Artman]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Artman, I found this quite inspiring, and it stirred me to take what you offered and develop it further:

In college level math
My grades will take a bath.

Algebraically speaking,
My grades: they will be reeking.

In calculus, Newtonian
My grades will make me moan again.

Despite statistical luck,
My grades will surely suck.

Going on...

To try and rise from this defeat,
I'll carefully select my seat.
To sit beside the college brain
Is the goal I seek now to attain.

Until I'm found, at his answers peaking,
I'll muddle through by tricks and cheating.
But if I'm caught I'll be thrown from class
And wind up on my lazy...Butt.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Excellent!

 

[ermines]

woohoo! thanks guys! now that really is a good poem...it actually tells what I'm currently going through in my math class--failing long test after long test, that is.

thanks guys for the inspiration :)

 

[FZ+]

Found this when Googling for Tensors:

http://www.ee.duke.edu/~wrankin/misc/tensor.html

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by FZ+
Found this when Googling for Tensors:

http://www.ee.duke.edu/~wrankin/misc/tensor.html

That one's quite a masterpiece.

 

[Math Is Hard]

If you ever need a poem about a physicist for inspiration, this one's quite amazing:

from http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_122.html

Schroedinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!
Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!
(Not bad, eh? Don't worry. This part of the verse
Starts off pretty good, but it gets a lot worse.)
Win saw that the theory that Newton'd invented
By Einstein's discov'ries had been badly dented.
What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, "Don't panic,
No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic.
Consider electrons. Now, these teeny articles
Are sometimes like waves, and then sometimes like particles.
If that's not confusing, the nuclear dance
Of electrons and suchlike is governed by chance!
No sweat, though--my theory permits us to judge
Where some of 'em is and the rest of 'em was."
Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck
The comforting linkage of cause and effect.
E'en Einstein had doubts, and so Schroedinger tried
To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.
Said Win to Al, "Brother, suppose we've a cat,
And inside a tube we have put that cat at--
Along with a solitaire deck and some Fritos,
A bottle of Night Train, a couple mosquitoes
(Or something else rhyming) and, oh, if you got 'em,
One vial prussic acid, one decaying ottom
Or atom--whatever--but when it emits,
A trigger device blasts the vial into bits
Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime
Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.
The cylinder's sealed. The hour's passed away. Is
Our kitty still purring--or pushing up daisies?
Now, you'd say the cat either lives or it don't
But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won't.
Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
To some this may seem a ridiculous split,
But quantum mechanics must answer, "Tough @#&!
We may not know much, but one thing's fo' sho':
There's things in the cosmos that we cannot know.
Shine light on electrons--you'll cause them to swerve.
The act of observing disturbs the observed--
Which ruins your test. But then if there's no testing
To see if a particle's moving or resting
Why try to conjecture? Pure useless endeavor!
We know probability--certainty, never.'
The effect of this notion? I very much fear
'Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.
Till soon the cat doctors will say in reports,
"We've just flipped a coin and we've learned he's a corpse."'
So saith Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, "You're nuts.
God doesn't play dice with the universe, putz.
I'll prove it!" he said, and the Lord knows he tried--
In vain--until fin'ly he more or less died.
Win spoke at the funeral: "Listen, dear friends,
Sweet Al was my buddy. I must make amends.
Though he doubted my theory, I'll say of this saint:
Ten-to-one he's in heaven--but five bucks says he ain't."

--CECIL ADAMS

 

[Artman]

Originally posted by FZ+
Found this when Googling for Tensors:

http://www.ee.duke.edu/~wrankin/misc/tensor.html

Really cool use of math terminology and concepts.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Math Is Hard
If you ever need a poem about a physicist for inspiration, this one's quite amazing:

That one is hysterical!
I loved the ending especially.

 

[tribdog]

Here's a quickie, by me, use it if you want it:

To graph mathmatic knowledge
is a simple calculation.
With addition at the bottom
further up to integration.

The line that charts my learning
isn't straight, as you will see.
My upward move took quite a curve
thanks to geometry.

Then came transcendental functions
and my upward climb was spent.
Until I had a breakthrough
helped by Texas Instrument.

I took a little tangent
for a required humanity.
It was a pain that fried my brain.
asked pi, I answered "Three?"

Now I think I'm back on track.
All sines are in ascession.
I postulate my learning curve's
an infinite progression.

The end
I don't know is ascession is even a word, but I couldn't think of a -sion word that meant upward movement, give me a little while.

 

[thunderfvck]

If math was all about fun
I wouldn't need to buy a gun
and rape your mother as you run
O semen cloaked one!

 

[tribdog]

If math was all about fun
I wouldn't need to buy a gun
and rape your mother as you run
O semen cloaked one!

O thunderfvck
We are in luck.
That you have shared your prose.
I think it's sick,
and you're a dick
You have problems and it shows.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Tribdog, you are extremely good at this.

(Ask someone who was raised Catholic for that upward movement word you need. It happened to the virgin Mary.)

-Zoob

 

[Monique]

O thunderfvck
We are in luck.
That you have shared your prose.
I think it's sick,
and you're a dick
You have problems and it shows.

Oh, you are a genius!

 

[tribdog]

ermines, why don't you come up with a list of words you'd like in your poem and give me a couple of hours to work on it. I won't guarantee greatness, but it'll be good.
I'm like the Domino's pizza of poetry. Poems delivered in 30 minutes or less. Unless you are stoned or starving it won't be the best thing you've ever had, but it's quick and good and cheap.

 

[Artman]

Here's a quickie, by me, use it if you want it:

To graph mathmatic knowledge
is a simple calculation.
With addition at the bottom
further up to integration.

The line that charts my learning
isn't straight, as you will see.
My upward move took quite a curve
thanks to geometry.

Then came transcendental functions
and my upward climb was spent.
Until I had a breakthrough
helped by Texas Instrument.

I took a little tangent
for a required humanity.
It was a pain that fried my brain.
asked pi, I answered "Three?"

Now I think I'm back on track.
All sines are in ascession.
I postulate my learning curve's
an infinite progression.

The end
I don't know is ascession is even a word, but I couldn't think of a -sion word that meant upward movement, give me a little while.

Brilliant piece, Tribdog. Your next one was good too.

 

[tribdog]

Float like a butterfly, Sting like triginometry
by Brian Whipple

My fight with mathematics
began when I was only one.
"Take two steps, now take two more"
I could walk to any sum.

My next bout was fractions.
It came with my first brother.
He got half of all my stuff.
Two thirds-when mother had another.

The easiest of all my fights,
and there is no room to bicker,
came when learning lines of force.
Call me the vector victor.

Challenges come from round the world
from lands I'll never see.
I beat alpha and omega and pi.
They're no longer Greek to me.

When calculus stepped toe to toe
a reputation to impress
I knocked it out with suprising ease
I calculate I couldn't calcu-less.

I have a wicked combo
A mix of Ali and Einstein.
I can conquer any concept
just pick a place and name a time.


rereading this I thought of a different final line
You bring your brain, I'll bring mine.
lol, thought of one while I was typing that one. this last one is the best because it goes with the Ali title. so final stanza should be:

I have a wicked combo
A mix of Ali and Einstein
I can conquer any concept in math
'cause I'm the greatest of all time.


It helps if you say the last line in Muhammed Ali's voice: I'm thee greatessst uv all ti-immme.

 

[gazzo]

There was a man called aristotle,
Who once got his tongue stuck in a bottle.
Then he traveled through time,
To find the meaning of rhyme,
and ooh that's why we've became mathematicians.

:(