Dumb Product Concepts

Ivan Seeking

Dedicated to products that work, but are worthless, wasteful, or silly.

The inside-the-shell egg scrambler

Pengwuino

I'd buy it.

Ivan Seeking

Why? Does it hurt your little flippers to use a whisk?

Pengwuino

I'm a messy cook.

TubbaBlubba

Can't help but think of this.

turbo

Pretty stupid idea unless you like your eggs heavy and rubbery. If you want nice fluffy scrambled eggs you have to add water or maybe milk, and whisk the mix to entrain lots of air into it. This gizmo might seem to be a wonderful idea to people who have no idea how to cook, though. They probably sold a bunch of 'em. Ron Popeil owes his success to the gullibility of fools.

TubbaBlubba

Uh. I just made scrambled eggs a few hours ago. Take 3 eggs, put them in a large glass, mix them together with a fork. Heat up the plate and put on a small wok pan (works best, in my opinion), add a small amount of butter, when it's melted, pour in the egg mix. Swirl them constantly, taking them off and on the pan if neccesary, and when they have the right consistency, stop. Result: Perfect scrambled eggs.

I've never heard of having to whisk air into them. Must be some FOREIGN method.

Ivan Seeking

I agree with Turbo and so do top-tier chefs. About twelve years ago, Tsu and I attended a brunch at a high-end hotel, in Portland. The scrambled eggs were so good that I made a point to hunt down a chef and ask how they were made. Based on what he said, I needed to add about three times as much milk as my mother had taught me. Sure enough, that was the trick.

Part of my objection to a product like this is the waste. It is convenience taken to the point of aburdity. I actually find products like this to be offensive.

It takes energy to manufacture and distribute any product. In a year, when you throw it away, it will go to a landfill and probably last for decades, if not much longer. Any convenience found here is trivial. Products like this are plague on our energy-hungry, oil-powered society.

turbo

Try it. You'll never go back. If you want to make a really fluffy base for an omelet, you need to use a liquid lighter than egg, and entrain the air.

TubbaBlubba

Omelet? Why would I want to make an omelet when I'm making scrambled eggs? The point of scrambled eggs are to NOT make an omelet.

Ivan: I kind of agree. Plus, when I want eggs, I want protein, seems a bit silly to pour in milk, which is pretty much liquid carbohydrates. But I'll try it som time. My mother taught me to use nothing but eggs and butter and rejected the notion of adding milk.

turbo

The point I was making is that when you are making a nice fluffy omelet, you can't keep disturbing the eggs. If you want perfect scrambled eggs, they don't need to be disturbed either. That just knocks down the entrained air and densifies the eggs while they are cooking. I like my scrambled eggs nice and light, and you have to treat them gently to get them that way.

TubbaBlubba

Seems like two different dishes to me. But I'll give it a shot some time.


Well, they're certainly better than the products that DON'T work at all. And you can always make a tangent to products that don't have a real function, such as collectible figures or the like.

...


I should totally start collecting Home Shopping Network products.

mugaliens

Both turbo and Ivan are correct: Lots of milk, and you can't disturb the eggs! The other trick is to prepare your ingedients well in advance and allow them to warm to room temperature before starting the omelette.

Mom (little old lady type who's been to some of the finest restaurants in the world) says I make better omelettes than any she's tasted elsewhere. :) Of course she may just be playing nice because she's my mother...

JaredJames

Anyone seen Dragons Den on BBC 1 (UK)?

Most of the stuff that shows up on there could easily fit this thread. You may be able to catch it on BBC iPlayer if you're interested.

Dr Lots-o'watts

This one actually showed up on the Dragon's Den, and it's available in local stores.
http://www.bananaguard.com/

GeorginaS

My mother brought me one of those last year when she came to visit me. I laughed so hard that it hurt. She was serious about it, though, telling me that I could "take my banana to work for lunch safely". Assuming I bring bananas with me in the first place, and assuming that I drop-kick the piece of fruit all the way to the office.

Because, I mean, honest to Pete. Bananas come with their own packaging built right on. What a terrible waste of plastic and resources for such a stupid and specific purpose. The thing got passed along from friend-to-friend until it found a home with someone who thought it was entirely dumb enough to actually use.

berkeman

Well, except for those of us that commute on motorcycles and carry our stuff in courier bags. My bananas regularly get bruised -- guess I should try to find me a bananaguard!