love at first sight/appearances

Nikitin

How important are appearances (smell, looks et.c.) from a biological standpoint? I heard that the "better looking" the person is, the better he appears as genetically suitable for the female.. Is this true?

I've heard that apparently partners with different looks are attracted to each other - but then again there are lots of partners who look alike each other.. What do you think? Is such an analysis of a person a good way to find a partner who is attracted to you?

DanP

It;s a bit more complex that that, but looks count a lot.

Different attracts is bull.

No. And what is more important is who you are attracted to, not who is attracted to you. Why should you care that X or Y is attracted to you if you wouldn't sleep with them never ever ?

lisab

Dan...just, ...

DanP

I know, I know, I'm gonna burn in a very special level in hell :

Nikitin

well, I just read about it and thought it was interesting. wanted to know peoples opinions.

PS. it's not like I would use this like a guide to find a girl, I think you misunderstood :D

DanP

You'd think, eh ?

turbo

If you want to find a girl, BE NICE. You don't have to be tall, muscular, handsome, etc to attract girls - just BE NICE. Guys who are decent, caring, and comfortable to be around attract women who are worth having a relationship with. If a girl only looks for physical characteristics or money (guy whose parents bought him a new car in HS, for instance), or peer-status (quarterback of the football team) she really isn't worth your effort.

DanP

Humans universally want someone who is nice to them. But that alone, will only get you so far. The total package is important. And the best predictor of getting a second date is physical attraction.

I seen men who where the nicest beings around, they would always be respectful and nice and caring towards women. And they fall in love, they would do just about anything for her, and they got completely shut off. It's not like the woman in question didn't want someone who is nice to her. She simply wanted a different man to be nice to her.

And she was with that man. One which maybe wasn't so nice to them (not a jerk either), but it averaged to more than the "nice guy".

Just being nice wont amount for too much.

turbo

Being nice lays a LOT of track with the ladies. I had lots of female friends (as opposed to girlfriends) in HS, and the ones that were "just" friends often played match-maker, trying to hook me up with other girls. They seem wired that way. I stand by my BE NICE rule.

DanP

It pays off to have female friends, yeah. Good relations with females means more social connection , you are never alone and you are never hungry. Pretty useful for a man, which benefits a lot from those links.

But as I said, when you want to bed a women, being nice will get you only so far.

Evo

+ 1

Looks have never mattered to me, I dated men based on them being nice, intelligent, and funny. My girlfriends always asked me why I was attracted to *homely* guys. They weren't homely to me. I'll take personality over looks any day.

DanP

You are atypical Evo :P After all, you are the one who dumped a football player just because he had a rock hard body. And btw, personality can be even more deceiving than looks. It's not so easy to see through another human sometimes, especially when blinded by attraction. You get together with someone, time passes, and slowly his true colors will show. And bang, bang, surprises follow.

turbo

When I was in college and living in my own apartment, I didn't know any women who could cook. They would come to my place for food. Two very pretty ladies from across the street would gladly show up on any supper invite. They'd bring a couple of decent bottles of wine, and I'd serve them home-made stews, whole wheat bread, spaghetti, garlic bread, biscuits, etc. Inexpensive, simple foods, that you couldn't get on-campus or in local restaurants - at least not properly-prepared with good quality.

DanP

Hell yeah ! Food with friends. Awesomeness.

Evo

I have definitely been fooled before. I have found some attractive men to have great personalities, but mostly they are jerks and I avoided them. I find that my idea of what is physically attractive is not the norm. I see men on tv and in magazines that women go nuts over and I think they're hideous. One facial feature that always attracted me was a large nose, go figure.

DanP

What exactly is a jerk in this context ? Where exactly is the line between a jerk and a man with options in your view ?

Evo

A jerk is someone that is more concerned with what he wants, he doesn't see a relationship as an equal partnership, he wants a woman that looks hot as a trophy to make other men jealous. They play games. Women can also be jerks, they do the same things. I want no part of it.