Meeting The New Workmate's Monkey: Shopping For A Toy

[tribdog]

I went to pick up the new guy for work and he has a monkey. Of course I went right over and did exactly what I wasn't supposed to do and looked her in they eye. I guess it made her mad. Now I'm shopping for an indestructible toy to give her to make up. I'm going to get her one of those things you see in doctor's offices with the wooden balls on curly wires. Just to see if she likes it. This is the first monkey I've ever been around. She's a crab-eating macque? something like that. I'm pretty sure I'm driving the new guy nuts by asking questions non stop.

 

[Moonbear]

I don't think monkeys make very good pets. Don't look her straight in the eye, and don't show your teeth when you smile around her either (people who work with monkeys in labs wear face masks, partially for disease protection since we can catch diseases from monkeys, but also so they can't see your mouth and attack when they perceive a toothy grin as a threat). I was half expecting you to say she ran right up to you and grabbed your leg.

 

[Evo]

Tribdog Hazard Warning

Rut Roh. DON'T LET IT BITE YOU!

Of primary concern when evaluating macaque bites are bacterial and B-virus infections. B-virus infection is highly prevalent (80% to 90%) in adult macaques and may cause a potentially fatal meningoencephalitis in humans. We examined seven nonoccupational exposure incidents involving 24 persons and eight macaques. Six macaques were tested for herpes B; four (67%) were seropositive. A common observation was that children and tribdogs were more than three times as likely to be bitten than adults. The virus must be assumed to be a potential health hazard in macaque bite wounds; this risk makes macaques unsuitable as pets.

http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/eid/vol4no1/ostrowsk.htm

 

[Math Is Hard]

Anybody want to lay odds on how long it will be before the monkey bites tribdog? I'll take 72 hours. Anyone else?

 

[Moonbear]

Rut Roh. DON'T LET IT BITE YOU!

Of primary concern when evaluating macaque bites are bacterial and B-virus infections. B-virus infection is highly prevalent (80% to 90%) in adult macaques and may cause a potentially fatal meningoencephalitis in humans. We examined seven nonoccupational exposure incidents involving 24 persons and eight macaques. Six macaques were tested for herpes B; four (67%) were seropositive. A common observation was that children and tribdogs were more than three times as likely to be bitten than adults. The virus must be assumed to be a potential health hazard in macaque bite wounds; this risk makes macaques unsuitable as pets.

http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/eid/vol4no1/ostrowsk.htm

tribdog, you remember that thread asking us when warning bells should have gone off when you were busy burning ham on the clean cycle of your oven? Well, the warning bells are clanging really loudly again!

 

[Moonbear]

Anybody want to lay odds on how long it will be before the monkey bites tribdog? I'll take 72 hours. Anyone else?

Um, when's he going to visit with the new toy? I say it will be about 30 seconds after he presents the toy to the monkey.

Where's jimmyP when we need a good bookie?

As long as we're setting up a pool on this, how about betting on where the monkey bites tribdog? I'm going to say on the leg, right where the pencil-stab wound is starting to heal.

 

[Evo]

Here are a few highlights of the report.

Viral infection rapidly progresses to central loci in the spinal cord and, eventually, the brain. Of 24 known symptomatic patients whose cases were reviewed in 1992, 19 (79%) died (CDC; unpub. data).

Before 1987, most surviving human patients had moderate to severe neurologic impairment, sometimes requiring lifelong institutionalization

The high percentage of death in known cases of human B-virus disease underscores the potential seriousness of all bite or scratch exposures from macaques.

Ongoing efforts to establish B-virus-free macaque colonies illustrate the difficulties of ascertaining B-virus-negative status, even with a battery of sophisticated laboratory tests and extended longitudinal follow-up of individual macaques

Apparently there is an extreme likelihood that this monkey is carrying the virus.

 

[Evo]

Um, when's he going to visit with the new toy? I say it will be about 30 seconds after he presents the toy to the monkey.

Where's jimmyP when we need a good bookie?

As long as we're setting up a pool on this, how about betting on where the monkey bites tribdog? I'm going to say on the leg, right where the pencil-stab wound is starting to heal.

Hey, I want in on this bet! Talk about easy money!

 

[Moonbear]

Hey, I want in on this bet! Talk about easy money!

Oh, we know nobody around here is foolish enough to bet if tribdog will get bitten; that's why it's a pool on when and where.

tribdog, got that? When you get bitten, please be sure to note the time, what you were doing immediately before the bite, and if you would kindly carry a tape measure with you, we'd like you to measure the distance from the bite to each of the locations people bet on. Whoever is closest on each wins the respective pool.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

My uncle brought a spider monkey back from the Philippines after WWII. For some reason it hated women...maybe because it had never seen any? My aunt put up with it for a time, until it started throwing its feces at her and all over the room whenever she walked by.

 

[franznietzsche]

Anybody want to lay odds on how long it will be before the monkey bites tribdog? I'll take 72 hours. Anyone else?

Put me down for 60 hours.

 

[franznietzsche]

Um, when's he going to visit with the new toy? I say it will be about 30 seconds after he presents the toy to the monkey.

Where's jimmyP when we need a good bookie?

As long as we're setting up a pool on this, how about betting on where the monkey bites tribdog? I'm going to say on the leg, right where the pencil-stab wound is starting to heal.

I'm betting on the hand where he burned himself with the magnesium fire starter.

 

[tribdog]

does the bite have to draw blood?
are we talking hours from now? or hours spent with monkey?

 

[tribdog]

oh, and put me down for 24 hours

 

[Moonbear]

oh, and put me down for 24 hours

Hey, I don't think you're allowed to bet on yourself! Now it's rigged for sure, tomorrow you'll be over there poking the monkey with your pencil until it bites you!

 

[JasonRox]

That's truly awesome.

I couldn't hang around with it though.

I have to look at everything in the eyes, except for girls though. Weird?

 

[franznietzsche]

That's truly awesome.

I couldn't hang around with it though.

I have to look at everything in the eyes, except for girls though. Weird?

wait, so the one that you should look in the eye, you don't...

 

[JasonRox]

wait, so the one that you should look in the eye, you don't...

That's how it works most of the time.

It's weird because when I meet a girl with killer eyes, I ... I ... I :!)