Naughty words that engineers can get away with saying

[brewnog]

Well, lectures would be boring without compiling such lists, so here we go.

The definitive list of rude words that engineers can get away with saying!

Oh, and if your mental age is greater than thirteen, please just hit the back button now before you think any less of me.

-Flange
-Gusset
-Penetration
-Lubrication failure
-Ring Expander
-Shaft (especially when combined with Thrust)
-Orifice gauge
-Back-end wetness
-Head loss
-Good lay

You may have noticed that some of these are rather vague, but I'm sure with concentration you may extract some of the wit hidden therein.

I will eventually devise a game, whereby the words are organised into a points system, and you score points when you manage to get that word into a technical report without being censored. Obviously, you'll all have plenty more words to add to the list, so naturally I expect it to be stickified within the next 20 minutes or so.

(Am I allowed to do this? Am I going to hell?)

 

[the number 42]

-Flange
-Gusset
-Penetration
-Lubrication failure
-Ring Expander
-Shaft (especially when combined with Thrust)
-Orifice gauge
-Back-end wetness
-Head loss
-Good lay


(Am I allowed to do this? Am I going to hell?)

In a lubricated handbasket, my friend.

 

[Moonbear]

This reminds me of a funny story. You know I study reproduction. So, I was chatting with some other folks from a lab where their email system had a "rating" on it that I guess was supposed to help be a spam filter or something. It rated emails with 1 to 4 chili peppers based on the amount of sexually explicit words used in incoming emails. As you can imagine, in a lab that deals entirely with reproduction and reproductive behavior, a good number of their emails were getting flagged. So, they started a competition of emailing each other about their experiments to see who could get the most chili peppers while keeping the emails entirely about work. They weren't sure if there was any admin who monitored chili pepper emails, but they were almost hoping for it.

 

[matthyaouw]

Back in college, in geology classes it was always fun to be able to describe something as "a load of shist", or exclaim "Oh shist" loudly in the event of annoying circumstances. We got quite a few glares from the teacher. Ah, puerility was grand, truely.

 

[FredGarvin]

An accepted term for a device used to back pressure a jet engine while running (we do somewhat frequently in R&D testing) is...wait for it...Butt Plug.

 

[brewnog]

An accepted term for a device used to back pressure a jet engine while running (we do somewhat frequently in R&D testing) is...wait for it...Butt Plug.

Fantastic!

I just remembered about Big End too.

 

[Monique]

Penetrance is also a term used in genetics

The other week me and my bf were at a DIY store, where we had to get some tools to fix some pipelines. The piping at our house is really strange, a male fitting is coming out of the wall while a female fitting is usual. So my bf stops a worker there and starts asking questions about female and male parts and how to fit them together. The guy looked really weird and said no one had ever asked him that before.. he probably wasn't familiar with the terms.. he looked shocked

 

[russ_watters]

Probe.
Nipple.

 

[Artman]

Grab a wrench and tighten those nuts before that bladder bursts. Twist the cock shut, change the glands on the pump and rechrome your valve balls.

 

[the number 42]

Tits.

I'm not sure if this is a technical term, but there is probably a good case for it being so.

 

[Evo]

Grab a wrench and tighten those nuts before that bladder bursts. Twist the cock shut, change the glands on the pump and rechrome your valve balls.

Perhaps tribdog shouldn't be allowed to view this thread. I think he gets enough ideas on his own.

 

[BobG]

Once in a while, I give a class on the fundamentals of satellite orbits and the semi-latus rectum seems to be everyone's favorite part of the ellipse. If they snicker at that, you start to wonder what they mean when they talk about giving their virtue up.


One of the satellites I used to work with had enhanced PMS.

That was an enhancement added after it was launched, so we even had a class about PMS for all the operators. It was pretty important stuff to learn. Because it was an add-on, you had to disable the satellite's PMS before you could swap the PIP.

PMS - Power Management Software
PIP - Programmable Information Processor

 

[Artman]

Grab a wrench and tighten those nuts before that bladder bursts. Twist the cock shut, change the glands on the pump and rechrome your valve balls.

Unless, of course, your balls are stainless steel. Then you won't need to touch them. Just put your stem back in, tighten the body down, and flush the system.

 

[Moonbear]

That was an enhancement added after it was launched, so we even had a class about PMS for all the operators. It was pretty important stuff to learn. Because it was an add-on, you had to disable the satellite's PMS before you could swap the PIP.

I'm sure every guy on this board would appreciate a class on disabling PMS!

See, I don't have to snicker at terms that sound like they mean something sexual and don't, I get to use the terms and they mean exactly what they sound like. Then again, it was difficult to get through the part of my public dissertation defense where I had to define the distinction between mounts, intromission and ejaculation, knowing full well my parents were in the audience!

 

[Artman]

I'm sure every guy on this board would appreciate a class on disabling PMS!

See, I don't have to snicker at terms that sound like they mean something sexual and don't, I get to use the terms and they mean exactly what they sound like. Then again, it was difficult to get through the part of my public dissertation defense where I had to define the distinction between mounts, intromission and ejaculation, knowing full well my parents were in the audience!

Reminds me of the scene from Mel Brooks' "High Anxiety" where the chidren are watching the lecture on human sexuality in psychological development and he starts using baby words.

Inside joke for Mechanical Engineers:

Where do exotic dancers get their water?


From stripper wells.

 

[Integral]

I recently received an email at work entitled "Backside scratch investigation" I seemed to be the only one to notice! I refused to read it. I knew that if I did it would be some totally boring report on some tool that was mishandling wafers or some such thing. I preferred to leave it sitting in my inbox for a good laugh, with my own interpretation as good as anything else.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

There is a white, gelatinous byproduct found in the effluent from industrial rice cookers. One of the major companies has an official term for this slimy stuff that floats on the water: Spooge.

 

[brewnog]

Thanks especially to Russ (how could nipples have escaped my mind? That never happens!) and Integral; I had to google Backside Scratch just to make sure I wasn't being had! Perhaps it's what you'd do if you were suffering from the old Back End Wetness?

Thanks also for staying on-topic. I was semi-expecting this to stray down the computer related route with cheap talk about 3.5 inch floppies, but we're all obviously far too mature (and yes, trib hasn't found us yet).

 

[Integral]

Another from my personal files! (Caution this concerns a possibly sexist tool

Some back ground the tool I work on has what we call the "extraction shoe" this shoe has a rubber extension which extends below the shoe sort of like a little skirt. In fact we call it the skirt. Well one of the engineers decided the skirt was to long and experimented with a shorter skirt. Well it turned out that the short skirt was not flexible enough to pass over a clamp which was well above the average height of the terrain the shoe had to clear.

I really had to exert a massive amount of self control and not make to many dangerous analogies (I work for a very PC aware company)* as I entered the information into our repair logging software.. When I was describing how the clamp ripped off the short skirt !


* At one point an engineer objected to references to the "master" and "slave" computers, they changed the software to read "primary" and "secondary"!

EDIT: Yes, Dilbert is written about the company I work for!

 

[franznietzsche]

* At one point an engineer objected to references to the "master" and "slave" computers, they changed the software to read "primary" and "secondary"!

You don't happen to work in LA county do you? There was a big hubub about the "master" "slave" thing a year back. I wanted to strangle the jackarse that complained. Changing it to primary and secondary is bad, because there are already primary and secondary masters and slaves. So what, now i have primary and secondary primary and secondary IDE drives?

Seriously, if your psyche is frgaile you can't handle "master" and "slave" terminology, move back in with your parents, you'll need them to protect you from those big bad mean people who insult your intelligence.

(i just realized my use of second person for referring to an indeterminate third person, please read it as such)

 

[Ivan Seeking]

My sex talk with dad, approx age 10 - verbatim

Dad: [point to an AC plug] This one is called the male and the outlet is called the female... Do you know why?

Me: Yes

Dad: Okay.

 

[russ_watters]

I'm sure every guy on this board would appreciate a class on disabling PMS!

Jeez, how could I forget - in the Navy you have PMS just about every day!

 

[Integral]

You don't happen to work in LA county do you?

Nope, I am in what they hoped would turn into the Si forrest, not quite there yet. The Co. I work for is pretty much credited with starting Si Valley.

 

[Moonbear]

* At one point an engineer objected to references to the "master" and "slave" computers, they changed the software to read "primary" and "secondary"!

We have the same problem in circadian rhythms research now. We refer to the endogenously rhythmic cells as "master" oscillators, and those that are dependent on signals produced via those cells as "slave' oscillators. Well, some editors have started getting too PC and not allowing those terms. The PI I work with was bouncing ideas off me for new terms, and had come up with the idea of describing them using the analogy of corporate headquarters and branch offices, until I pointed out that analogy completely breaks down when you realize in most corporations, there is no reliable communication whatsoever between the headquarters and branch offices.

My friend had to rename a newly discovered cell population when she published it in Science. She wanted to call them LuST cells for Lumbar Spino-Thalamic cells (they also happen to be important in the ejaculatory reflex). They made her change it to LST cells before they'd publish it. When she gives talks, she still informs the audience that the correct pronunciation is "Lust".

 

[Moonbear]

Jeez, how could I forget - in the Navy you have PMS just about every day!

Gosh, you'd think you guys could have gotten your cycles better synchronized with all that living in close quarters.

 

[tribdog]

The data collector on my GPS has STD and if the ground is really hard my pounder pulls out his bull prick.

 

[franznietzsche]

My sex talk with dad, approx age 10 - verbatim

Dad: [point to an AC plug] This one is called the male and the outlet is called the female... Do you know why?

Me: Yes

Dad: Okay.

That tame huh?

I have a great story on parental talks, but i think it might cross the decency line.

 

[Argentum Vulpes]

well how could you forget great things from good old Mechanical engineering?

-flashing
-ram rod

Or form the world of geology,

-cleavage

And just because I put myself through collage swinging a hammer during the summer.

-nailing
-pounding
-screwing
-12 inch studs

cheers all

 

[mathemagician]

Well, lectures would be boring without compiling such lists, so here we go.

And tests would be boring without questions like this:

A vertical cylindrical pump is used to move an unknown Newtonian fluid to a height of x cm above where it is stored. When a force is applied parallel to the shaft the unknown fluid will move the length of the tube and be discharged a spout at the top of the pump.

Information
The pump is a 50 cm long tube with a 20 cm diameter. The fluid is being pumped from 2 spherical containment vessels that sit just below the pumps and have a capacity of 300mL each.
A student has experimentally determined the stiffening constant of the shaft to be large enough to avoid any complex calculations. The inner mechanics of the pump are trivial in this question. Make reasonable assumptions to simplify your work.

a) A student uses the pump to cause all of the liquid contained in the containment vessels to be discharged in exactly 20 minutes. Assuming a 70% load delivery to load effort ratio, and given that 6L of the unknown substance can be compressed to 3L with a pressure of 50MPa in 2 minutes. How much work does Cindy do on the shaft?
(Hint: use the right-hand rule and assume head loss due to friction is negligible)

b) Explain how this problem would change if the fluid was non-Newtonian?
(Hint: if you have not already done so, you may want to draw a disagram to aid your explanation.)

 

[tribdog]

wow, who knew science could be so tittilating