Medical Students training exercise

[Adrian Baker]

Medical Students training exercise...

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy
class with a real dead human body.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a
white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is
necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that
you should not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."

The Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the
corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same
thing," he told his students. The students initially freaked out,
hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a
finger in the anus of the corpse and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at the class and told
them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my
middle finger but sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay
attention."

 

[Monique]

Well, actually, remember that the great US blackout of 20-03 (as they called it :P)

That was my last few days working in the US in a Medical School, freshman year had just started for the Meds. Their first class? Anatomy. Location? Basement. They were right in the middle of their first class when all the lights went out, and stayed out, being in the basement of a building with corpses is not the most fun thing, right? Well, they came up being quite shaken :) nice initiation..

 

[Zantra]

LOL- that's classic. I'll have to remember that one

 

[zoobyshoe]

Very old joke, actually. I first saw it in a comedy made about 20 years ago: Doctor tells students the best way to test for diabebes is to taste the patient's urine. If it is sweet, suspect diabedes. He demonstrates on a cup of urine dipping one finger in and tasting the other. The denoument is the same.

 

[Adrian Baker]

All jokes are old really aren't they? There are about seven or so main 'joke formats' just the situations change. Anyway, I though it was funny.

How about this one then:

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs as soon as possible due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a presentative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lb. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5- day / 20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life,wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me."He's out the door or after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 bs, as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day / 50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone."This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."

 

[zoobyshoe]

I hadn't heard that one. Pretty good. Here's one that is at least 100 years old:At the height of battle during the Civil war, a wounded man beckons to a green, recently enlisted country boy. "Please," he says, "My leg's been shot to hell. Get me out of here. Get me to the doc!"

The boy throws the man over his shoulder and begins to run with all his strength through the smoke and whizzing bullets. Unbeknownst to him a canonball meant for another target cleanly removes the head of the man he is carrying.

A little further on an officer sees him running with the headless corpse. "Here you!", the officer shouts, "Where are you going with that?" The boy pauses and says: "He's wounded. I got to get him to the doc!"

"Wounded?" says the officer. "Son, that man's head has been blown off!"

The boy sets the corpse down, looks at it, and says, "His head?
He told me it was his leg!"