What's the inside scoop on the upcoming Physics Forums movie?

[zoobyshoe]

Here's the inside scoop on the backroom wheeling and dealing going on as we speak concerning Robert Altman's upcoming project, Physics Forums:

For reasons that should be obvious to anyone who has seen Contact, Ivan Seeking will be played by Jodie Foster. The lovely, mischievous Math Is Hard will be portrayed by Math Is Hard look-a-like, Rene Zellweger. The role of Integral goes to veteran actor Wilford Brimley, and Greg Kinnear is pushing his agent to get an audition for the, as yet uncast, role of Danger.

Mike Meyers loved the script but he can't seem to understand Einstein isn't actually one of the characters in the screenplay and keeps working on an "Old Dr. Smart" impersonation. This is annoying producers who are trying to steer him into the role of Brewnog.

Robin Williams wants tribdog, of course, but he's too old, so that's still up for grabs. Gale17 will be played by ...um...meh...hehe...yah...Juliette Lewis. (Her former costar, Woody Harrelson, also wants Danger, but only if that character is rewritten to be a serial killer in his offline time.)

Salma Hyak has gone on record saying she'll sell her soul to the devil to play Miss Evo, but they're telling her she already looks too old. The Olsen twins were turned down for the same reason.

Marlon will be created from scratch using all the leftover software from Jar-Jar Binks, and yomamma has tentatively been handed to Steve Erkel creator, Galeel White.

That's all the dish we have on it to date. Anyone with a sharp ear to the grapevine who hears more, feel free to drop us a line, right here.

 

[honestrosewater]

Mother Teresa was exhumed to play Moonbear, but during franznietzsche-contender Verne Troyer's audition, she was bent over to slap him and couldn't be straighted back out. The part of Moonbear will now be played by everyone's second favorite nun: Whoopi Goldberg.

 

[arildno]

As Huckleberry, we will see a return of Keiko (from the "Free Willy" movies) to stardom; of particular interest is how well Keiko's flappers will represent Huckleberry's feet.

 

[honestrosewater]

Finding a suitable arildno was proving very difficult. The closest to a Norwegian actor that could be found was Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sean Connery. Upon hearing this, arildno was so appalled that he slept with the producer so he could play himself. Upon hearing this, Sean Connery also slept with the producer, but no one knows why.

 

[brewnog]

Mother Teresa was exhumed to play Moonbear, but during franznietzsche-contender Verne Troyer's audition, she was bent over to slap him and couldn't be straighted back out. The part of Moonbear will now be played by everyone's second favorite nun: Whoopi Goldberg.

Sadly Whoopi Goldburg has had to pull out of the Moonbear part due to unforseen circumstances, and the producers have instead had to turn to everyone's third favourite nun, Robbie Coltrane.

 

[matthyaouw]

Hugo Weaving seems keen to play the part of Smurf. A decision on the part has not yet been made, but in light of his earlier performances, director Zooby thinks he shows promise.

 

[arildno]

Finding a suitable arildno was proving very difficult. The closest to a Norwegian actor that could be found was Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sean Connery. Upon hearing this, arildno was so appalled that he slept with the producer so he could play himself. Upon hearing this, Sean Connery also slept with the producer, but no one knows why.

There's always Dolph Lundgren or Liv Ullmann..

 

[honestrosewater]

This just in- Dolph Lundgren and Liv Ullmann are being considered for the part of Sean Connery. Even though one of them is woman?? Well, that's Zoobywood for ya.

 

[arildno]

I wouldn't mind if my part was played by either Stellan Skarsgård or Max von Sydow; but they're otherwise engaged, I think.

It'll end up with Liv Ullmann, I'm afraid..

 

[hypatia]

I'm just hopeing that this isn't one of the movies where the book was better.

 

[franznietzsche]

This has to be the single scariest thread of the past five minutes, hands down. Ca-reepy.

 

[Evo]

zoobie, that is great! Who's playing you?

I assume the nocturnally roving purple jellyfish will play themselves?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

zoobie, that is great! Who's playing you?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/39/150px-Johnwaynegacyclown.jpg

 

[FredGarvin]

Oh. Now that is just freaking me out.

 

[JamesU]

and yomamma has tentatively been handed to Steve Erkel creator, Galeel White

NO! I do NOT accept!

 

[Danger]

NO! I do NOT accept!

I agree; Jaleel is way too tall. I think that a baby Ewok should be shaved for the role.

 

[JamesU]

how tall are you danger?

 

[Danger]

how tall are you danger?

You'd be about up to my ankles.

 

[JamesU]

so that makes you...35 feet tall?

(I'm 5'7")

 

[BobG]

so that makes you...35 feet tall?

(I'm 5'7")

Danger is in the circus. He spends a lot of time walking on his hands. Since he usually does his acts on stilts, that would make him about 2'3".

 

[JamesU]

I think the opening sequence should be at one of moonbear's parties. and then...BT should come in and everyone starts freaking out, so moonbear, comes to me to tell me so I can mix up my cure for BToli...the rest is up to the writers

 

[Math Is Hard]

I've heard that the part of Zooby will be played by Bob Heironimus, a retired Pepsi bottler from Yakima, Washington.

 

[JamesU]

I thought zoobyshoe was going to be played by an actual zoobie. and who's playing the statutory ape?

 

[JamesU]

and what is the storyline of this movie?

 

[Danger]

so that makes you...35 feet tall?

(I'm 5'7")

No, I'm 5'9", but I'm going to be standing on your ears so you can't get up.

I thought zoobyshoe was going to be played by an actual zoobie.

Peter Mayhew kept one of his old Chewbacca costumes just for this occasion, so he'll be pretty ticked off if he doesn't get the part.

and who's playing the statutory ape?

I was going to say 'Michael Jackson' until I read the name more carefully. Now I guess it would have to be Clyde from 'Every Which Way But Loose'.

 

[brewnog]

I've heard that the part of Zooby will be played by Bob Heironimus, a retired Pepsi bottler from Yakima, Washington.

You almost heard right.

What you meant to say was that parts of Zooby will be played by Bob Heironimus. Currently, they want Mr Heironimus to play Zooby's nose, left arm, and ankles, but they're open to discussions and Zooby's fingers are keen to appear as themselves.

 

[1123581321]

as said earlier, the movie startes at one of moonbears innocent parities, when one of the drunken rofl's decides to look into the telescope. before he gets there, he takes some acid, which gives him wild visions of impending doom. the whole crowd of faces, also drunk, begins to see the visions too. they then go wild on the Earth causing rampent death and distruction. it is up to the members of the physics forum, lead by greg (that dude from revenge of the nerds), to take them out. PF acts as a gang of norseman from the 11th century ad, where I (played by adam sandler) am the barezerker (not spelled right). yes, i am the crazy dude who runs around screaming and freaking out the smile army. zoobyshoe acts as the magician, and uses his magic power to put up a strong defence, until he is struck down by a party balloon. Chroot (bruce willis) takes his place, but is currupted by the all-knowing rolf. he turns of the members, until greg removes his membership, causing him to wither and melt. The all-powerful engineers, lead by their master fred garvin (because he has the cool helocoptor avitar)(played by harrison ford) , build a trebuchet which will launch fibo's army of bareserkers into the smilie's lines, where they cause massive distruction. eventually, the army of PF baffels the crazy smilies by telling that they came from the 6th dimension and they need to go back. with the world almost gone after the smilie rampage, the PF members feel the urge for a smoke...
The end?

Fibonacci

 

[JamesU]

is this one of those movies that isn't going to make a lot of money so they make a cheap game out of it called "physics forums adventures" where you can play all the general discussion characters but you have to start out as danger and make your way up to everyone?

 

[JamesU]

as said earlier, the movie startes at one of moonbears innocent parities, when one of the drunken rofl's decides to look into the telescope. before he gets there, he takes some acid, which gives him wild visions of impending doom. the whole crowd of faces, also drunk, begins to see the visions too. they then go wild on the Earth causing rampent death and distruction. it is up to the members of the physics forum, lead by greg, to take them out. PF acts as a gang of norseman from the 11th century ad, where I (played by adam sandler) am the barezerker (not spelled right). yes, i am the crazy dude who runs around screaming and freaking out the smile army. zoobyshoe acts as the magician, and uses his magic power to put up a strong defence, until he is struck down by a party balloon. The all-powerful engineers, lead by their master , build a trebuchet which will launch fibo's army of bareserkers into the smilie's lines, where they cause massive distruction. eventually, the army of PF baffels the crazy smilies...
to be continued

there's two problems with that. you didn't say who's playing greg, and chroot isn't involved

 

[Danger]

you didn't say who's playing greg, and chroot isn't involved

Greg is playing Chroot; you are his footstool.