Physics Forums: The Movie

zoobyshoe

Here's the inside scoop on the backroom wheeling and dealing going on as we speak concerning Robert Altman's upcoming project, Physics Forums:

For reasons that should be obvious to anyone who has seen Contact, Ivan Seeking will be played by Jodie Foster. The lovely, mischievous Math Is Hard will be portrayed by Math Is Hard look-a-like, Rene Zellweger. The role of Integral goes to veteran actor Wilford Brimley, and Greg Kinnear is pushing his agent to get an audition for the, as yet uncast, role of Danger.

Mike Meyers loved the script but he can't seem to understand Einstein isn't actually one of the characters in the screenplay and keeps working on an "Old Dr. Smart" impersonation. This is annoying producers who are trying to steer him into the role of Brewnog.

Robin Williams wants tribdog, of course, but he's too old, so that's still up for grabs. Gale17 will be played by ...um...meh...hehe...yah...Juliette Lewis. (Her former costar, Woody Harrelson, also wants Danger, but only if that character is rewritten to be a serial killer in his offline time.)

Salma Hyak has gone on record saying she'll sell her soul to the devil to play Miss Evo, but they're telling her she already looks too old. The Olsen twins were turned down for the same reason.

Marlon will be created from scratch using all the leftover software from Jar-Jar Binks, and yomamma has tentatively been handed to Steve Erkel creator, Galeel White.

That's all the dish we have on it to date. Anyone with a sharp ear to the grapevine who hears more, feel free to drop us a line, right here.

honestrosewater

Mother Teresa was exhumed to play Moonbear, but during franznietzsche-contender Verne Troyer's audition, she was bent over to slap him and couldn't be straighted back out. The part of Moonbear will now be played by everyone's second favorite nun: Whoopi Goldberg.

arildno

As Huckleberry, we will see a return of Keiko (from the "Free Willy" movies) to stardom; of particular interest is how well Keiko's flappers will represent Huckleberry's feet.

honestrosewater

Finding a suitable arildno was proving very difficult. The closest to a Norwegian actor that could be found was Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sean Connery. Upon hearing this, arildno was so appalled that he slept with the producer so he could play himself. Upon hearing this, Sean Connery also slept with the producer, but no one knows why.

brewnog

Sadly Whoopi Goldburg has had to pull out of the Moonbear part due to unforseen circumstances, and the producers have instead had to turn to everyone's third favourite nun, Robbie Coltrane.

matthyaouw

Hugo Weaving seems keen to play the part of Smurf. A decision on the part has not yet been made, but in light of his earlier performances, director Zooby thinks he shows promise.

arildno

There's always Dolph Lundgren or Liv Ullmann..

honestrosewater

This just in- Dolph Lundgren and Liv Ullmann are being considered for the part of Sean Connery. Even though one of them is woman?? Well, that's Zoobywood for ya.

arildno

I wouldn't mind if my part was played by either Stellan Skarsgård or Max von Sydow; but they're otherwise engaged, I think.

It'll end up with Liv Ullmann, I'm afraid..

hypatia

I'm just hopeing that this isn't one of the movies where the book was better.

franznietzsche

This has to be the single scariest thread of the past five minutes, hands down. Ca-reepy.

Evo

zoobie, that is great!!!! Who's playing you???

I assume the nocturnally roving purple jellyfish will play themselves?

Ivan Seeking

FredGarvin

Oh. Now that is just freaking me out.

JamesU

NO! I do NOT accept!

Danger

I agree; Jaleel is way too tall. I think that a baby Ewok should be shaved for the role.

JamesU

how tall are you danger?