Are You Practicing These Good Manners?

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the topic of good manners, particularly in social settings and dining etiquette. Participants share various practices and beliefs about appropriate behavior, with a focus on interactions between genders and table manners.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants suggest that a gentleman should open doors for ladies and position himself between the road and the lady when walking.
  • Others emphasize the importance of specific dining etiquette, such as not eating with elbows on the table and switching the fork to the right hand after cutting meat.
  • A participant mentions the significance of offering assistance to a lady when navigating stairs or exiting a vehicle.
  • There are differing views on the importance of table manners, with some arguing that they reflect deeper issues of upbringing and compatibility in relationships.
  • One participant introduces the concept of the "Fork Test" as a criterion for evaluating potential partners based on their dining etiquette.
  • Some express disbelief at the idea of breaking up with someone over their table manners, while others defend the importance of such standards.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants generally share a concern for good manners, but there are multiple competing views on what constitutes proper etiquette and the implications of these behaviors in personal relationships. The discussion remains unresolved regarding the significance of dining etiquette in assessing compatibility.

Contextual Notes

Some claims about etiquette are based on personal experiences and cultural backgrounds, which may not be universally applicable. The discussion includes various assumptions about gender roles and expectations in social interactions.

JasonRox
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Let's see what we all know about good manners...

I know to...

1 - Always open the door for a girl.
2 - Watch girl walk to door after dropping her off.
3 - Keep face clean while eating.

What do you know?

I know more, but I'll leave some open.
 
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JasonRox said:
Let's see what we all know about good manners...

I know to...

1 - Always open the door for a girl.
2 - Watch girl walk to door after dropping her off.
3 - Keep face clean while eating.

What do you know?

I know more, but I'll leave some open.

Ouch and double Ouch, you said. Girl Twice
2 - Get out of car, open her door escort her to door.
3- Chew with mouth closed. :biggrin:
 
A gentlemen, when walking with a lady, should position himself between the road and the lady!
 
Take a lady's elbow when climbing stairs so she can manage her hemline, especially if she's in heels.

When decending stairs position yourself below the lady so you can prevent her from stumbling.

Take your time walking around the vehicle so she can adjust her "whatever" before she exits.

When she exits a vehicle offer your hand so she can steady herself.

When being escorted through a restaurant don't assume the Maitre de will seat your lady guest. Steady her chair but let the lady pull her chair towards the table so you don't knock her feet out from under her.

When a lady approaches you and you are seated stand up and allow her to sit before you.

Don't immediately assume you are to order for the lady at a restaurant.
 
wolram said:
Ouch and double Ouch, you said. Girl Twice
Hey, he's young enough to be allowed to get away with it. :biggrin:
 
I know that you should:

Respect age, both young and old.

When in doubt, assume the best intent from your next.

Listen and learn.

Don't be fascionable late, be precice.

Admit when you are defeated and not gloat over your victory.

When having dinner at home, you should offer to serve dishes close to you.

In Finland, always accept an offer to a Sauna or excuse yourself for health reasons.



Now, this list sounds modest, but is surprisingly difficult for me to spit out my manners. I hope that's a good excuse. :biggrin:
 
I can't believe the way some people eat their food at the table. They eat like barbarians. Such simple manners go a long way.

-Never eat with your elbow on the table
-Assuming you are right handed after you cut a piece of meat, put the knife down and out of your right hand and switch the fork to your right hand and then eat. Too many times people just cut and eat with the fork still in their left hand.
-Have your napkin in your lap
-Drink in the upper right
-When you are finished put the knife and fork together at the top of your plate.
-Chew with your mouth closed
-Don't slurp soup

You wouldn't realized how impressed employers will be with simple table manners that your mom taught you.
 
gravenewworld said:
-When you are finished put the knife and fork together at the top of your plate.
not the traditional number 5 position?
 
gravenewworld said:
Assuming you are right handed after you cut a piece of meat, put the knife down and out of your right hand and switch the fork to your right hand and then eat. Too many times people just cut and eat with the fork still in their left hand.
:bugeye: I can't imagine eating like that. People are skilled enough to eat with their left hand without sticking the piece of meat up their nose..

I once had a date who talked so loud and much that people at other tables shushed him to quiet down :rolleyes: a good manner suggestion: don't embarrass your date :wink:
 
  • #10
Drink in the upper right? Change the fork between hands whilst eating?

The best manners i have is to always let the lady go first, they love that.
 
  • #11
use fork/knife when eating food
 
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  • #12
Don't eat your own boogers.

(well, stoned inspired me. And mom's rolling over in her grave now.)
 
  • #13
zanazzi78 said:
A gentlemen, when walking with a lady, should position himself between the road and the lady!
Actually, in the city, a man should walk on the inside. I learned the reason when I lived in Chicago and dated a very "streetwise" Italian. We were walkng on Rush Street and he insisted on walking on the inside, between me and the buildings. He explained that muggers and purse snatchers hid in the doorways and would grab at women, he wanted to put himself between me and possible harm. I had never even given any thought to it before then.
 
  • #14
Echo 6 Sierra said:
Take a lady's elbow when climbing stairs so she can manage her hemline, especially if she's in heels.

When decending stairs position yourself below the lady so you can prevent her from stumbling.

Take your time walking around the vehicle so she can adjust her "whatever" before she exits.

When she exits a vehicle offer your hand so she can steady herself.

When being escorted through a restaurant don't assume the Maitre de will seat your lady guest. Steady her chair but let the lady pull her chair towards the table so you don't knock her feet out from under her.

When a lady approaches you and you are seated stand up and allow her to sit before you.

Don't immediately assume you are to order for the lady at a restaurant.
Ooh, major points for E6S. :approve:
 
  • #15
gravenewworld said:
I can't believe the way some people eat their food at the table. They eat like barbarians. Such simple manners go a long way.
-Assuming you are right handed after you cut a piece of meat, put the knife down and out of your right hand and switch the fork to your right hand and then eat. Too many times people just cut and eat with the fork still in their left hand.
YOU ARE CORRECT! I will break up with men that do not know this basic rule of dining etiquette. Also, the fork should not be upside down. I am horrified at how many people don't know how to eat. If you ask my daughters what the test is to judge if a man is worth dating, they will tell you what gravenworld said, I call it "The Fork Test". I'm absolutely serious. It is my MAIN pet peeve.

When my older daughter met a guy she really liked, she told me "he passed the fork test!" (she had asked me what to look for in a man)
 
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  • #16
Evo said:
YOU ARE CORRECT! I will break up with men that do not know this basic rule of dining etiquette. Also, the fork should not be upside down. I am horrified at how many people don't know how to eat. If you ask my daughters what the test is to judge if a man is worth dating, they will tell you what gravenworld said, I call it "The Fork Test". I'm absolutely serious. It is my MAIN pet peeve.

When my older daughter met a guy she really liked, she told me "he passed the fork test!" (she had asked me what to look for in a man)

Breaking up with someone over how they hold a fork? That is absolutely absurd!
 
  • #17
mattmns said:
Breaking up with someone over how they hold a fork? That is absolutely absurd!
Not really, it has to do with deeper issues such as basic upbringing and culture. I'm not saying they are necessarily a loser, but history has proven to me that men that can't hold a fork correctly have turned out to be incompatible with me for other reasons.

That doesn't mean that a guy can't learn correct table manners. Ok, I will admit I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to etiquette. :frown:
 
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  • #18
Evo said:
When my older daughter met a guy she really liked, she told me "he passed the fork test!" (she had asked me what to look for in a man)

Yea Evo. I told mine this is what to look for in a man:

Ask yourself three questions about your guy:

1. Will you kill me if I break up with you?

2. Will you harm my children?

3. Where do you go to get your paycheck cashed?

The last in reference to a local bar in the neighborhood which advertised, "pay day checks cashed here".

:smile:
 
  • #19
saltydog said:
Yea Evo. I told mine this is what to look for in a man:

Ask yourself three questions about your guy:

1. Will you kill me if I break up with you?

2. Will you harm my children?

3. Where do you go to get your paycheck cashed?

The last in reference to a local bar in the neighborhood which advertised, "pay day checks cashed here".

:smile:
First, I would hope my girls have enough smarts not to even have to wonder those things about a man, they wouldn't be talking to low life in the first place. I never have. (I don't think your girls would have trouble either, it's an intuitive thing)

Trust me, the "fork test" works. The men that pass it have always been absolutely wonderful. That doesn't mean that men that were raised without proper table manners can't also be nice, it's just something that has never failed. This thread "is" about "good manners".

To me, someone shoveling food into their mouth with their fork in the wrong hand is the same as if they started chewing on their toenails at the dinner table. :bugeye: Maybe they're nice, but we're not compatible.
 
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  • #20
Unless your a doctor, don't answer your cell phone at the table.

Nerve make a public display of yourself.

Always let the elderly people go first{door, lines}.

If your unsure how to behave at a social event, look around and see what others are doing.

Don't stand right in front of the bathroom door when waiting for you partner.

And I walk sort of slow..and it bugs me when someone I'm dateing, won't match my pace. More so if he has me by the hand...I feel like I'm being dragged.
 
  • #21
I just started a new job and had lunch with two people there that I think are fairly sharp. One guy was shoveling food into his mouth with his fork upside down and in his left hand like he was shoveling dirt into a pit, and the other was cramming huge amounts of food into his mouth so that his cheeks were bulging as he chewed. I was about to vomit.

I guess I am terrible for feeling this way, but I was raised to eat slowly and politely, it wasn't a race to the death. I think people in large families where food was scarce have the tendency to shovel food into their mouth. I've heard that from some people, either you stuffed yourself as fast as possible, or went hungry.
 
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  • #22
I don't know this fork business. I must be uncouth.
 
  • #23
Also - I had this Chinese roommate one time, who used to make loud smacking noises as he ate. That bugged the hell out of me.
 
  • #24
In some cultures smacking and burping are compliments.

I've noticed that the Japanese aren't familiar with fork etiquette, but that's understandable as they are new to it. They seem elegant though, even holding their forks wrong. They take small bites and have elegant movements. They hold the fork delicately with the tips of their fingers. It's the holding of the fork with a ham fist that repels me the most.

I only hold westerners to my "fork test".

I said I was a fork snob. :frown:
 
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  • #25
BTW - do these formal table rules apply to informal situations? Like barbeques, picnics, or very casual restaurants?
 
  • #26
Evo said:
Not really, it has to do with deeper issues such as basic upbringing and culture. I'm not saying they are necessarily a loser, but history has proven to me that men that can't hold a fork correctly have turned out to be incompatible with me for other reasons.
A smart woman would teach him how.
 
  • #27
juvenal said:
BTW - do these formal table rules apply to informal situations? Like barbeques, picnics, or very casual restaurants?
No, only formal dining. I eat ribs and chicken like a pig. :redface:

I think eating fried chicken with a fork and knife is wrong (my relatives do that). Some foods just require full frontal attacks with the teeth. :blushing: Gnawing food off the bone is wonderful.

edit: my spelling is getting really bad
 
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  • #28
Smurf - good point. I thought that women often look at men, especially marriage-worthy ones, as "projects".
 
  • #29
Evo said:
No, only formal dining. I eat ribs and chicken like a pig. :redface:

I think eating fried chicken with a fork and knife is wrong (my relatives do that). Some foods just require full frontal attacks with the teeth. :blushing: Knawing food off the bone is wonderful.

I guess we'll only be able to have PF BBQ's and picnics, then. :smile:
 
  • #30
Smurf said:
A smart woman would teach him how.
I've tried Smurf, but then they complain about me only bathing once a year and it gets ugly. :frown:
 

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