4 Restaurants Where You'll Never, Ever, Get a Table

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the concept of exclusive and difficult-to-access restaurants, exploring the bizarre and humorous aspects of dining experiences that are perceived as challenges or ordeals. Participants share their thoughts on the nature of these establishments, the absurdity of certain dining practices, and the implications of exclusivity in the restaurant industry.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants question whether the article is a joke, expressing skepticism about the authenticity of the described dining experiences.
  • One participant describes a restaurant with a humorous sign that sets strict dining rules, highlighting the absurdity of certain menu items.
  • Another participant shares a humorous anecdote about a fictional spa idea, suggesting a parallel to the bizarre nature of the restaurants discussed.
  • Several participants reference other unusual dining experiences, such as eating sushi off naked people or dining in total darkness, indicating a trend of extreme dining concepts.
  • There are mentions of specific restaurants like the French Laundry and Rao's, noted for their exclusivity and difficulty in securing reservations.
  • Participants express curiosity about how such exclusive restaurants sustain their business despite the challenges of accessibility.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants generally agree on the humorous and absurd nature of the dining experiences discussed, but there is no consensus on whether the article is a serious commentary or a spoof. Multiple competing views on the nature of exclusivity in restaurants remain present.

Contextual Notes

Some participants reference specific dining establishments and their reputations, but the discussion does not resolve the underlying questions about the business models of such exclusive restaurants.

Who May Find This Useful

Readers interested in culinary trends, restaurant culture, or humorous takes on dining experiences may find this discussion engaging.

Evo
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I'm wondering if this is a joke. It's sounds too bizarre to be true. Anyone know if this is a spoof?

Restaurants Where You'll Never, Ever, Get a Table

Today, restaurants are something else: experiences, challenges, sometimes ordeals. Arrive at 5:30 or 10:30, not any reasonable dinner hour; sit in cramped quarters on tiny chairs; eat what the chef tells you to eat, and you'll take the damn sauce and like it. Oh, and no friggin' photos, dirtbag! What's important isn't being cosseted and well-fed, anymore, it's submitting to the authoritarian strictures of some arbiter of culinary taste who is obviously far, far hipper than you'll ever be. And — even more important — doing it before anybody else does.

Read more: http://www.thedailymeal.com/four-restaurants-where-youll-never-ever-get-table/4177?page=0,0#ixzz1Tcd47sTO
 
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The sign on the front door sets the tone: "No Collarless Shirts, No Gang Tattoos, No So-Called Gluten Allergies, Lactose Intolerance, Diverticulitis, or Other Sissy Affectations."
:smile:

..can't say enough about such specialties as the three-and-a-half-pound Choker, a patty of raw coarse-ground beef tongue slathered in peanut butter and blue cheese dressing concealed inside a loaf of Wonder Bread; or the spaghetti-with-white-clam-sauce spring rolls with pineapple aioli; the spicy catfish oatmeal with smoked snail eggs; or the ranch dressing milkshakes with Baco-bits and pickled chard.

I'd try the spring rolls. Not as bad as some of the signature creations on Master Chef.
 
Evo said:
I'm wondering if this is a joke. It's sounds too bizarre to be true. Anyone know if this is a spoof?

I'm pretty sure it's a humor piece.

My friend and I once came up with an idea for an exclusive spa to take advantage of dumb rich ladies. For $500, we would offer an exotic facial treatment guaranteed to leave your skin pink and glowing - basically you would be taken into a room and slapped in the face by hostile Syrian women* until your complexion was rosy.

*my friend was Syrian so that's where that came from
 
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Math Is Hard said:
I'm pretty sure it's a humor piece.
Considering some of the "real" places I've seen on tv, it makes you wonder. They had me until I got to the "Satansdottir" sisters, then I figured I'd been had, but then again...

I've seen places where they eat sushi off of naked people, where diners are blindfolded and eat in total darkness, eating with their hands. There's that dining experience in San Francisco, where they announce via twitter where and when they're going to have dinner and serve weeds and animals they catch in the area, apparently they don't have a permit to do this, so the location keeps changing.
 
I'm hungry.
 
micromass said:
Reminds me of this:

http://pruned.blogspot.com/2006/12/kgb-hotel.html
Buwahaha.

This 'hotel',” writes Tim Bryan, “proudly bills itself as 'unfriendly, unheated, uncomfortable and open all year round'. But that's the point. A stay here is reality tourism writ large, a chance to experience at first hand (albeit handcuffed for part of the time) the brutal, degrading regime of a damp, rotting red-bricked naval jail built in 1905 to house the czar's mutinous sailors. New management took over in the 1970s: the KGB.”

So instead of a Presidential Suite with an ocean view, everyone will only have the choice of either solitary confinement or the interrogation room. Instead of pleasant greetings from a cheery staff, patrons will be welcomed with gun fire and barking orders from (former) Soviet prison guards. And instead of signing the guestbook, you'll be processed, photographed and given your arrest card.
 
Ooh, ooh! I choose the interrogation room!
 
They forgot the French Laundry in Napa. I believe you need to reserve a spot like 6 months in advance?
 
  • #10
khemist said:
They forgot the French Laundry in Napa. I believe you need to reserve a spot like 6 months in advance?
There are places like Rao's where only "la familia" and celebrities can get a table.
 
  • #11
Evo said:
There are places like Rao's where only "la familia" and celebrities can get a table.

How do they sustain business? Charge out the ***?
 
  • #12
khemist said:
How do they sustain business? Charge out the ***?
Basically, but celebrities are always lined up for these kind of places, they are always full.
 
  • #13
Evo said:
Basically, but celebrities are always lined up for these kind of places, they are always full.

I guess if they will let you in might as well...

I was surprised to see a SF restaurant on the list. Wait, on second thought, I am surprised there were not more.
 
  • #14
I don't understand. If you can never get a table, then how does the restaurant make money?