From Garden State:
Sam: Hey, I recognize you.
Andrew Largeman: Oh, did you go to Columbia High?
Sam: No, not from high school, from TV. Didn't you play the retarded quarterback?
Andrew Largeman: Yeah.
Sam: Are you really retarded?
Andrew Largeman: No.
Sam: Ooh, great job man! I really thought you were retarded. I mean, you're better than that Corky kid and he's actually retarded. If there was a retarded Oscar you would win, hands down, kick his ass!
Here's another:
Sam: If you can't laugh at yourself, life's going to seem a whole lot longer than you like.
Andrew Largeman: All right, so what are we laughing at you about?
Sam: I lied again... I have epilepsy.
Andrew Largeman: Which part are we laughing about?
Sam: had a seizure at the law office where I work, and they told me their insurance wouldn't cover me unless I wore preventative covering.
Andrew Largeman: What's preventative covering?
Sam: The helmet I was wearing... Oh come on, that's funny. That's really funny, I mean I'm the only person who wears a helmet to work who isn't putting out fires or racing for NASCAR. But what do you do, I can't quit... their insurance is amazing, what do you do? You laugh. I'm not saying I don't cry but in between I laugh and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good.
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Btw, loseyourname, I thought "Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind" was a very good movie.