Caltech Physicists Successfully Split The Bill

[Math Is Hard]

Good for them! We've been grappling with this problem for years at UCLA .

PASADENA, CA—Sequestered in a private booth at a Pasadena-area Cheesecake Factory for nearly 25 minutes, a party of eight California Institute Of Technology physicists emerged exhausted but visibly excited Friday evening after successfully splitting the bill.

"This is an important day for us, not only because it marks Professor [Wayne] Newbury's birthday, but because we have accomplished a feat thought unimaginable ever since [late computational physicist Philip] Eisenreich found that it was impossible to calculate how a group of paired bodies, set in motion by the presence of a solid-state check, could come to rest at a non-variable, evenly distributed mathematical constant," said lead party organizer and theoretical physicist Dr. Cynthia Dreyfuss.

Before the arrival of the check, several early bill-splitting theories were proposed, including a simple process of dividing it into eight identical fragments, the Random Contribution Model, and a theory posited by Newbury himself—who insisted that he was bound to treat everyone—which was widely rejected on the basis that it would undermine the whole objective of the evening.

"When the check came, we all immediately agreed that the total of $284.57 could be defined as an irrational number of dollars for a party of eight to spend at a chain restaurant," said Dreyfuss.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/52324

 

[franznietzsche]

Good for them! We've been grappling with this problem for years at UCLA .

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/52324

:rofl: :rofl:

That reminds me of dinner with all the physicists from Stellar Hydro Days a few weeks ago. We learned exactly how many theoretical physicists it takes to split a bill.

 

[daveb]

I don't know, I'm a bit skeptical. We've been fooled like this before. I want to see their data first

 

[franznietzsche]

After reading the article, I'm sorry to say it was a little deja vu. Really reminds me of that dinner during the conference.

 

[Math Is Hard]

After reading the article, I'm sorry to say it was a little deja vu. Really reminds me of that dinner during the conference.

Were there pitchers of alcoholic beverages involved? If so, how did you calculate the user to pitcher ratio? This is a common area of dispute within our department after gatherings and frequently dismantles our calculations.

 

[Evo]

This is so funny! I HATE going out to eat with large groups because there is always at least one skinflint that has to calculate their fair share of the bill down to half of everyone elses. "Oh, I only had one of the appetizers"

 

[franznietzsche]

Were there pitchers of alcoholic beverages involved? If so, how did you calculate the user to pitcher ratio? This is a common area of dispute within our department after gatherings and frequently dismantles our calculations.

No pitchers, a few margaritas, some coffee, and a LOT of flan.

No, the punchline to the question: "How many theoretical physicists does it take to split up a bill?" is...

1 to show that he can't count 20s 10s 5s and 1s simultaneously.
9 to show they can't add, subtract, divide or multiply to save their lives
and 1 guy who keeps rembering something else he ordered and throwing in a few more bucks. like that second margarita. oh and the coffee. Oh and the flan, how much was that?

The other undergrad and myself found it hilarious.

 

[Rach3]

After reading the article, I'm sorry to say it was a little deja vu. Really reminds me of that dinner during the conference.

Strange. In my experience they don't divide the check, it's written off as a business expense.

 

[Rach3]

"When we kept coming up short by $15, we thought the solution might lie in a damped simple harmonic oscillator, so we mapped complex modes of vibration in diatomic molecules, found the zero-point vibration of the n=0 ground state, studied the motion of atoms in a solid lattice, and formulated the theory of heat capacity," Patel said. "Turns out we were on the wrong track, but it was helpful to know what definitely didn't work."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

[franznietzsche]

Strange. In my experience they don't divide the check, it's written off as a business expense.

Well this was an informal conference (Not like a major APS meeting). Twelve speakers, twenty or so people, plus a few LANL summer students like me.

 

[Moonbear]

:rofl: There's one group of people I go out with that I've learned to just go ahead and enjoy myself buying one of the most expensive dishes on the menu, because, no matter who has what, they'll always insist on just splitting the bill so everyone pays the same, and they all order expensive meals. So, I might as well have an expensive meal too than get something inexpensive and pay for theirs anyway.

With another group, there's a person who ALWAYS insists on paying the entire bill, so I keep things inexpensive knowing this will happen.

And, then I have a friend who will break out the calculator to calculate the exact proportions of each shared dish that everyone had and will split the bill to the penny.

I've since learned that the easiest thing to do is to first ask the server if they can give us each separate checks if we're going to be paying for our own meals in a group.

So, I think they left a few variables out of their calculations.