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Chuck Norris math jokes

  1. Nov 3, 2012 #1
    Chuck Norris can solve a system of equations of parallel lines.
    When Chuck Norris was given a math test, he wrote "Violence" as the answer to all the questions. He got an A+ because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.
  2. jcsd
  3. Nov 3, 2012 #2
    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  4. Nov 3, 2012 #3
    I bet Chuck Norris used projective geometry to do that. :biggrin:
  5. Nov 3, 2012 #4
    Care to explain what that is? I haven't been to college yet.
  6. Nov 3, 2012 #5


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    Yep. That and a big foot.
  7. Nov 3, 2012 #6


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    Dearly Missed

    Chuck Norris makes constructions out of transcendentals with his bare hands.
  8. Nov 3, 2012 #7


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    Chuck Norris can recite the digits of pi... backwards.
  9. Nov 4, 2012 #8
    For Chuck Norris [itex] \sigma_A \sigma_B < \left| \frac{1}{2i} \left\langle \left[ \hat{A},\hat{B} \right] \right\rangle \right|[/itex] for any A and B.
  10. Nov 4, 2012 #9


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    Chuck Norris can pound any series into terrified convergence.
  11. Nov 5, 2012 #10


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    After this article, I don't think Chuck Norris deserves to be the internet god anymore.
  12. Nov 5, 2012 #11


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    Just for micromass:


    The is some math here, maybe.
  13. Jan 25, 2013 #12
    Chuck Norris can count to infinity.
  14. Jan 25, 2013 #13
    Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.
    Chuck Norris can find the roots of quadratic equation with negative discriminant in the set of natural numbers.
    Chuck Norris can differentiate Weierstrass' function.
    Chuck Norris once squared the circle only with a compass.
    Chuck Norris knows the biggest prime number.
  15. Jan 25, 2013 #14
    I feel inclined to opine that he is the most prominent mathematician in the history of mathematics.
  16. Jan 25, 2013 #15
    Chuck Norris listed all the real numbers.
  17. Jan 25, 2013 #16
    Chuck Norris doesn't do mathematics, Chuck Norris is mathematics.
  18. Jan 25, 2013 #17
    Yes. Chuck Norris, himself, is the cumulative body of logic and reasoning. All mathematicians are his great devotees.
  19. Jan 28, 2013 #18
    Chuck Norris decides whether or not P is the same as NP.
    Chuck Norris knows a consistent set of axioms capable of proving all truths about the relations of the natural numbers.
  20. Jan 28, 2013 #19
    Chuck Norris understands quantum theory and isn't shocked by it.
  21. Jan 28, 2013 #20
    Jimmy, the entire humanity bows before Chuck Norris as he brought the quantum theory into "existence". He need not understand it.
  22. Jan 28, 2013 #21


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    I still think this one is top:

    Chuck Norris can write down all decimals of [itex]\pi [/itex]...backwards. :biggrin:
  23. Jan 28, 2013 #22
    True. If the barber in a village shaves all men who don't shave themselves then who shaves the barber? Chuck Norris, for to call him just a man is to invite a Roundhouse Kick into Oblivion. It therefore follows that Set Theory is consistent and complete.

    Chuck Norris once felled a forest with the Axeiom of Choice and the sharpness of his mind.

    Chuck Norris's foot moves so quickly that his victims are killed by the terrible energy of light that's been blue-shifted by his big toe. His Roundhouse Kicks are the only known source of gamma ray bursts.

    Chuck Norris's Beard Theory beats String Theory any day of the week.
  24. Jan 28, 2013 #23
    Once, while visiting Fermat, Chuck Norris showed him a wonderful math proof on Numbers Theory, occupying about half page.

    He took back the paper when left.
  25. Jan 28, 2013 #24


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    Chuck Norris's proofs make Cantor's proofs look like a physics calculation.
  26. Jan 29, 2013 #25


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    This... this is clever.

    Chuck Norris knows how to write "BOOBIES" on an upside down slide rule.
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