Chuck Norris math jokes

  • Thread starter moonman239
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  • #1
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Chuck Norris can solve a system of equations of parallel lines.
When Chuck Norris was given a math test, he wrote "Violence" as the answer to all the questions. He got an A+ because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.
 

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  • #2
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
 
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  • #3
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Chuck Norris can solve a system of equations of parallel lines.
I bet Chuck Norris used projective geometry to do that. :biggrin:
 
  • #4
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I bet Chuck Norris used projective geometry to do that. :biggrin:
Care to explain what that is? I haven't been to college yet.
 
  • #5
dlgoff
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I bet Chuck Norris used projective geometry to do that. :biggrin:
Yep. That and a big foot.
 
  • #6
arildno
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Chuck Norris makes constructions out of transcendentals with his bare hands.
 
  • #7
Hurkyl
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Chuck Norris can recite the digits of pi... backwards.
 
  • #8
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For Chuck Norris [itex] \sigma_A \sigma_B < \left| \frac{1}{2i} \left\langle \left[ \hat{A},\hat{B} \right] \right\rangle \right|[/itex] for any A and B.
 
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  • #9
arildno
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Chuck Norris can pound any series into terrified convergence.
 
  • #10
Dembadon
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After this article, I don't think Chuck Norris deserves to be the internet god anymore.
 
  • #11
dlgoff
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Just for micromass:

japans-earthquake-chuck-norris-punching-the-ground-thumb.jpg


The is some math here, maybe.
 
  • #12
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Chuck Norris can count to infinity.
 
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  • #13
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Chuck Norris can count to infinity.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.
Chuck Norris can find the roots of quadratic equation with negative discriminant in the set of natural numbers.
Chuck Norris can differentiate Weierstrass' function.
Chuck Norris once squared the circle only with a compass.
Chuck Norris knows the biggest prime number.
 
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  • #14
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I feel inclined to opine that he is the most prominent mathematician in the history of mathematics.
 
  • #15
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Chuck Norris listed all the real numbers.
 
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  • #16
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Chuck Norris doesn't do mathematics, Chuck Norris is mathematics.
 
  • #17
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Chuck Norris doesn't do mathematics, Chuck Norris is mathematics.
Yes. Chuck Norris, himself, is the cumulative body of logic and reasoning. All mathematicians are his great devotees.
 
  • #18
Chuck Norris decides whether or not P is the same as NP.
Chuck Norris knows a consistent set of axioms capable of proving all truths about the relations of the natural numbers.
 
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  • #19
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Chuck Norris understands quantum theory and isn't shocked by it.
 
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  • #20
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Chuck Norris understands quantum theory and isn't shocked by it.
Jimmy, the entire humanity bows before Chuck Norris as he brought the quantum theory into "existence". He need not understand it.
 
  • #21
dextercioby
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I still think this one is top:

Chuck Norris can write down all decimals of [itex]\pi [/itex]...backwards. :biggrin:
 
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  • #22
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Chuck Norris decides whether or not P is the same as NP.
Chuck Norris knows a consistent set of axioms capable of proving all truths about the relations of the natural numbers.
True. If the barber in a village shaves all men who don't shave themselves then who shaves the barber? Chuck Norris, for to call him just a man is to invite a Roundhouse Kick into Oblivion. It therefore follows that Set Theory is consistent and complete.

Chuck Norris once felled a forest with the Axeiom of Choice and the sharpness of his mind.

Chuck Norris's foot moves so quickly that his victims are killed by the terrible energy of light that's been blue-shifted by his big toe. His Roundhouse Kicks are the only known source of gamma ray bursts.

Chuck Norris's Beard Theory beats String Theory any day of the week.
 
  • #23
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Once, while visiting Fermat, Chuck Norris showed him a wonderful math proof on Numbers Theory, occupying about half page.

He took back the paper when left.
 
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  • #24
WannabeNewton
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Chuck Norris's proofs make Cantor's proofs look like a physics calculation.
 
  • #25
FlexGunship
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Chuck Norris can recite the digits of pi... backwards.
^^^^^^^^^
This... this is clever.


Chuck Norris knows how to write "BOOBIES" on an upside down slide rule.
 

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