# Chuck Norris math jokes

Chuck Norris can solve a system of equations of parallel lines.
When Chuck Norris was given a math test, he wrote "Violence" as the answer to all the questions. He got an A+ because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.

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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Demystifier
Chuck Norris can solve a system of equations of parallel lines.
I bet Chuck Norris used projective geometry to do that.

I bet Chuck Norris used projective geometry to do that.
Care to explain what that is? I haven't been to college yet.

dlgoff
Gold Member
I bet Chuck Norris used projective geometry to do that.
Yep. That and a big foot.

arildno
Homework Helper
Gold Member
Dearly Missed
Chuck Norris makes constructions out of transcendentals with his bare hands.

Hurkyl
Staff Emeritus
Gold Member
Chuck Norris can recite the digits of pi... backwards.

For Chuck Norris $\sigma_A \sigma_B < \left| \frac{1}{2i} \left\langle \left[ \hat{A},\hat{B} \right] \right\rangle \right|$ for any A and B.

Demystifier
arildno
Homework Helper
Gold Member
Dearly Missed
Chuck Norris can pound any series into terrified convergence.

Gold Member
After this article, I don't think Chuck Norris deserves to be the internet god anymore.

dlgoff
Gold Member
Just for micromass:

The is some math here, maybe.

Chuck Norris can count to infinity.

Demystifier
Chuck Norris can count to infinity.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.
Chuck Norris can find the roots of quadratic equation with negative discriminant in the set of natural numbers.
Chuck Norris can differentiate Weierstrass' function.
Chuck Norris once squared the circle only with a compass.
Chuck Norris knows the biggest prime number.

Demystifier
I feel inclined to opine that he is the most prominent mathematician in the history of mathematics.

Chuck Norris listed all the real numbers.

Demystifier
Chuck Norris doesn't do mathematics, Chuck Norris is mathematics.

Chuck Norris doesn't do mathematics, Chuck Norris is mathematics.
Yes. Chuck Norris, himself, is the cumulative body of logic and reasoning. All mathematicians are his great devotees.

Chuck Norris decides whether or not P is the same as NP.
Chuck Norris knows a consistent set of axioms capable of proving all truths about the relations of the natural numbers.

Demystifier
Chuck Norris understands quantum theory and isn't shocked by it.

Demystifier
Chuck Norris understands quantum theory and isn't shocked by it.
Jimmy, the entire humanity bows before Chuck Norris as he brought the quantum theory into "existence". He need not understand it.

dextercioby
Homework Helper
I still think this one is top:

Chuck Norris can write down all decimals of $\pi$...backwards.

Demystifier
Chuck Norris decides whether or not P is the same as NP.
Chuck Norris knows a consistent set of axioms capable of proving all truths about the relations of the natural numbers.
True. If the barber in a village shaves all men who don't shave themselves then who shaves the barber? Chuck Norris, for to call him just a man is to invite a Roundhouse Kick into Oblivion. It therefore follows that Set Theory is consistent and complete.

Chuck Norris once felled a forest with the Axeiom of Choice and the sharpness of his mind.

Chuck Norris's foot moves so quickly that his victims are killed by the terrible energy of light that's been blue-shifted by his big toe. His Roundhouse Kicks are the only known source of gamma ray bursts.

Chuck Norris's Beard Theory beats String Theory any day of the week.

Once, while visiting Fermat, Chuck Norris showed him a wonderful math proof on Numbers Theory, occupying about half page.

He took back the paper when left.

Demystifier
WannabeNewton
Chuck Norris's proofs make Cantor's proofs look like a physics calculation.

FlexGunship
Gold Member
Chuck Norris can recite the digits of pi... backwards.
^^^^^^^^^
This... this is clever.

Chuck Norris knows how to write "BOOBIES" on an upside down slide rule.