Is a Spouse Necessary for Fulfillment?

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Discussion Overview

The discussion explores the necessity of having a spouse or companion in life, examining the reasons behind the desire for companionship versus the possibility of living alone. It touches on themes of loneliness, societal expectations, and personal fulfillment, with contributions reflecting on both emotional and evolutionary perspectives.

Discussion Character

  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants argue that the need for a companion is socially constructed rather than inherently necessary, suggesting that individuals can find peace within themselves.
  • Others propose that while companionship is not essential, it can enhance life experiences and provide emotional rewards.
  • There is a suggestion that societal and media influences shape perceptions of loneliness and the need for a spouse.
  • Some participants assert that humans are social animals with an evolutionary predisposition towards relationships, indicating a biological component to the desire for companionship.
  • One participant emphasizes that being at peace with oneself and wanting a relationship are not mutually exclusive, challenging the notion that one must choose between the two.
  • Several posts reflect on the idea that loneliness is not inherently "wrong," but rather a state that can be experienced.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants express a mix of views, with some agreeing that companionship can be beneficial while others maintain that it is not necessary. The discussion remains unresolved, with competing perspectives on the importance of having a spouse.

Contextual Notes

Some assumptions about the definitions of "need" and the implications of loneliness are not fully explored, leaving room for further discussion on these concepts.

rogerk8
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Hi!

I wonder why we need a companion in life.

Let's face it, we might as well live alone.

Lonelyness is a boring kind of life but who has actually told us it is "wrong"?

When it comes to sex you can have sex with yourself and it need not be so bad.

Yet we think we need someone.

Many people would say this is evoloutionary.

I say it comes from parents, society and media.

We don't need a spouse.

We need to find peace within ourselves.

Be in peace with who you are and stop feeling like a loser because you can't find your spouse.

He/she will come to you when the time is right.

In the meantime, try to keep your hopes up and do not ever think you are a loser if you happen to be unwillingly alone!

Roger
 
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Why do you think it was ever claimed we need a spouse? I never heard of that. Many people want one, some dont.
 
You only need a spouse if you're married.
 
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SW VandeCarr said:
You only need a spouse if you're married.
:-p
 
A life decision
Will you be sane or not lonely?
 
rogerk8 said:
Hi!

I wonder why we need a companion in life.

We don't.

Let's face it, we might as well live alone.

Lonelyness is a boring kind of life but who has actually told us it is "wrong"?

It's not wrong. It's just lonely.

When it comes to sex you can have sex with yourself and it need not be so bad.

I know of no one who is physically capable of having sex with themselves. And even if you could, I don't think it would be nearly as much fun as it is with someone else. Kind of like how playing catch naked with yourself isn't nearly as much fun as it is with someone else.

Yet we think we need someone.

Many people would say this is evoloutionary.

I say it comes from parents, society and media.

I would say the need to be with someone else is built in through evolution.

We don't need a spouse.

We need to find peace within ourselves.

Be in peace with who you are and stop feeling like a loser because you can't find your spouse.

Some itches you just can't scratch by yourself.

He/she will come to you when the time is right.

Meh. I've never believed this.

In the meantime, try to keep your hopes up and do not ever think you are a loser if you happen to be unwillingly alone!

Roger

Agreed!
 
rogerk8 said:
I wonder why we need a companion in life.

You don't technically need any friends, let alone a partner but they make life a whole lot more enjoyable. Most people find that spending time with loved ones that they can share life experiences with quite rewarding.

rogerk8 said:
Let's face it, we might as well live alone.

See above.

rogerk8 said:
Lonelyness is a boring kind of life but who has actually told us it is "wrong"?

I do agree that western culture portrays introverts as a negative but just because it is for some people doesn't mean it's acceptable for all.

rogerk8 said:
When it comes to sex you can have sex with yourself and it need not be so bad.

Technically you can't. That's by the by though, I'll simply say that this point links with my first. Sure you can do many things by yourself but sharing the experience, especially with a loved one, can be rewarding in a way that going solo just can't be.

rogerk8 said:
Yet we think we need someone.

If you mean "need" as in "important for a satisfying and rewarding life" then yes it is needed.

rogerk8 said:
Many people would say this is evoloutionary.

I say it comes from parents, society and media.

Humans are social animals, ones that seem predisposed to serial monogamy, so it certainly has an evolutionary component.

rogerk8 said:
We don't need a spouse.

See "need" definition above.

rogerk8 said:
We need to find peace within ourselves.

Having a partner and being at peace with yourself are not mutually exclusive.

rogerk8 said:
Be in peace with who you are and stop feeling like a loser because you can't find your spouse.

I agree that people shouldn't feel too cut up about being single but that's not a reason not to ever pursue a relationship.

rogerk8 said:
He/she will come to you when the time is right.

Sometimes life will drop a good thing in your lap but a lot of the time you have to go out and look for it.

rogerk8 said:
In the meantime, try to keep your hopes up and do not ever think you are a loser if you happen to be unwillingly alone!

Agreed. But as I said already being content with oneself and wanting a relationship aren't mutually exclusive as your thread title would suggest.
 
This went down hill, post deleted, thread closed.
 

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