Physicists Discover Neutrinos Just Little Italian Neutrons

[DrChinese]

https://www.theonion.com/physicists-hail-major-breakthrough-after-discovering-ne-1844363984

"Confirming the search for the mysterious Godfather particle was finally over, physicists at the University of Chicago hailed what they call a major breakthrough Monday after discovering neutrinos are just little Italian neutrons. “We’ve long believed neutrinos were created by nuclear reactions inside stars, but the truth is they’re just neutrons that originated in Tuscany, Piedmont, Sicily, and other regions of the Italic Peninsula,” said astrophysicist Dr. John Marder, whose experiments that involved shooting beams of neutrinos from a particle accelerator allowed scientists to observe that the Italian neutrons left behind nearly imperceptible trails of marinara sauce. "

No offense intended for my Italian friends. I'm American, so it should be easy to get me back.
(And please note the source as being a satirical site. This is literally fake news.)

 

[fresh_42]

I'm American, so it should be easy to get me back

Too easy these days. There is no challenge in stating the obvious.

They could have at least combined the story with Gran Sasso instead of Sicily.

 

[Vanadium 50]

Another Onion: https://www.theonion.com/bush-finds-error-in-fermilab-calculations-1819566086

And, in a non-science favorite (but favorite of scientists): https://www.theonion.com/pragues-franz-kafka-international-named-worlds-most-ali-1819594798

 

[jtbell]

physicists at the University of Chicago hailed what they call a major breakthrough Monday after discovering neutrinos are just little Italian neutrons.

I bet one of those physicists was Enrico Fermi's grandson.

 

[George Jones]

I knew that I smelt onions. My South Asian wife often fries onions, which produces a strong odour. Since she is not in the house right now, this left the most likely possibility as ... The Onion!

 

[256bits]

discovering neutrinos are just little Italian neutrons

Little baby neutrons, that grow up to be big adult neutrons.
Stop. Physics is over and take a vacation.
That completely explains the whole big bang thing.

 

[epenguin]

But in fact the term 'neutrino' did come from a bit of obscure Italian wordplay, one of those (IMO rather tiresome) scientific 'in' jokes.