Postpone Senior Year to get Better Grades to go to a Competitive Grad?

[AliAllyMac]

I need advice!

I know exactly what I want to do in physics: I am already doing research at my university as an undergrad and I plan to make a career out of it after I get my PhD. But I have had the absolute worst time with general motivation due to a decade of depression. I am so scared that next year, my senior year, won't go well. I only took two classes this past quarter but still barely passed because I couldn't bring myself to study or do homework.

I have gotten rid of several stressors from my life, I am on multiple antidepressants specifically for the motivation issue, and I am doing everything I can to keep myself focused on school for next year. My biggest concern is that all of this effort will still result in no change in motivation and I'll end up being content with C's again, but this is probably terrible as a future graduate school applicant!

I was already planning on taking a brief break before grad school for this problem, but now I am wondering if I should move that up a year and put a pause on my undergrad education so I can potentially do better when I have fixed my motivation. But at the same time that feels like a BAD decision. I am unsure what to do or where to go from here.

Can someone please give me some advice or insight? Should I stick it out for next year and graduate with C's or take a break and finish when I am better prepared? thx

 

[gleem]

After a decade of dealing with depression, it is not under control. Any advice here will be of little consequence until you are assured of having it under control. You should be having this discussion with a physician, not a physicist.

 

[berkeman]

After a decade of dealing with depression, it is not under control. Any advice here will be of little consequence until you are assured of having it under control. You should be having this discussion with a physician, not a physicist.

@AliAllyMac -- This is good advice. Your doctor and your faculty advisor are the best people for you to talk with about this. I'll go ahead and close off this thread now.