Statement of Purpose for us physics grad

In summary, the conversation discusses the writer's passion for physics and their desire to pursue postgraduate studies in the field, specifically in relation to the innovation of new materials. They highlight their academic achievements and experience in the industry, as well as their goal to contribute to the development of PhD programs in their home country. The writer also expresses interest in joining Brandeis University due to its strong research focus and resources.
  • #1
kthouz
193
0
Dear,
here is a statement of purpose that I have prepared for an admission in postgraduate in USA. Please any comment is welcome.
____________________________________________

From many years ago, the discovery and invention of new material has enhanced the world’s development. For instance, in some applications, metals have replaced wood. Centuries later, semiconductor materials were introduced and allowed us moving from huge computers of the size of a house to smaller and faster pocket computers, blackberry... Inspired by such evolution, I have always had the love of physics in the way that I can use it to make new types of materials to build a better world. As a graduate student in applied physics, my goal is to continue physics as a subject of my postgraduate course especially in fields related to the innovation of new materials.

Since my young age, I was curious about how things work: How come that we can hear voices from radios? Why do people cook in metals but not in plastic? Those were the kind of my questions. It is my father who made me a point that all of that depend actually on the properties of materials. Since, I started interested in physics such that in my high school I did Mathematics and Physics Option and then after I could graduate in applied physics, material science option, at Kigali Institute of Science and Technology (KIST).

During my training at KIST, I always made an effort to perform well in the way that, in second year, I was selected to be part of a team of three interdepartmental students (physics, electronics and mechanics) who participated in an inter-university contest of making the fastest solar powered car toy. In fourth year, my final year project was entitled “Thermodynamic Properties of Ionic Associates of CsCl on the Basis of High Temperature Mass Spectrometric and Quantum Mechanical Investigations”.
The latter project was so well done that I got an opportunity to work on another work entitled “Theoretical Study of Structure, Vibration Spectra and Thermodynamic Properties of Cluster Ions in Vapors over Potassium, Rubidium and Cesium Chlorides”. This work was presented and proposed for publication during the International Conference on Pure and Applied Chemistry (ICPAC), held in Mauritius in 2010.

In November 2010, our team was invited in the National University of Rwanda’s Third International Research Conference, where I gave a presentation entitled “Theoretical Study of Properties of Cs2Cl+, CsCl2–, Cs3Cl2+ & Cs2Cl3– ions: Effect of Basis Set and Computational Method” in which part of my final year project work was used. The same topic was presented in a symposium, regional integration of human resources in science and technology, organized by the Ministry of Education and the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) and held at Kigali in December 2010.

Among other things, I underwent a two months internship in an industry called BRALIRWA. This is a well renowned beverage industry where I was working in the engine room. It was an opportunity for me to observe and understand some physics principles in the real life where things are no more ideal. I also had a chance to be part of its personnel team of more than 200 people.
In addition, during my path at KIST, I was part of team that got an idea to start the first association of physicists. That association is called KIST Physicists Association and I was elected the advisor in charge of research.

As a postgraduate course, I will be pleased by having Physics because I like that subject. Furthermore, seen a few number of instructors having a PhD in physics in my country, there is no PhD program in Rwanda and I would like to undergo a training that will provide me with enough ability to conduct physics researches and hence contributing to the building and enhancement of PhD granting programs in Rwanda. I should emphasize that, this few number of qualified instructors and scientific researches is one of the causes of the lack of industrial investment in our country. In other words, there still not enough qualified personnel to work in industries.

In order to accomplish my objectives of making new materials and building PhD granting programs in Rwanda, I wish and hope to remain in academia as a professor so that I can pursue my research interests while training and recruiting others to solve relevant problems in physics. For that purpose, as training in research skills and postgraduate studies, I would like to join Brandeis University because it has larger physics research groups that have already started projects related to materials’ innovation. For instance I would like to be part of Professor Seth Fraden’s team. In addition, Brandeis University is well placed since Boston is among the best research centers of the world. Hence, I would like to take advantage of the emplacement and its facilities.
______________________________________________
 
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  • #2
What ideas are you trying to get across?
 
  • #3
Vanadium 50 said:
What ideas are you trying to get across?

Excuse me, do you mean you're getting nothing from it? is it such fake?
 
  • #4
kthouz said:
Excuse me, do you mean you're getting nothing from it? is it such fake?

Vanadium is simply asking what your objectives are - what do you want the person reading your statement of purpose to feel, to understand about you as an individual? What are the core things you think are important to advertise about yourself? Answer those questions when maybe someone can guide you - but it's important to do that for yourself as well.
 
  • #5
You can get one, or at most two ideas across in this statement. What do you want those ideas to be?
 
  • #6
Vanadium 50 said:
You can get one, or at most two ideas across in this statement. What do you want those ideas to be?

ok now i got ur point. My main goal is to become a professor in physics of matter such that i can introduce a physics PhD granting program in my country.
About myself as individual, i have the love of physics and i have collaborated I am many different research projects
 
  • #7
OK, so let's look at your essay in light of the ideas you are trying to get across.

"My main goal is to become a professor in physics of matter such that i can introduce a physics PhD granting program in my country."

Where do you say that? It looks like it's introduced very late in the essay. (Also, it's not clear if you are actually from Rwanda). Would it be better to bring this up sooner?

"i have the love of physics". Do people who hate physics typically apply to graduate schools? Remember, you can get one or two ideas at most across. Do you think this is important?

"i have collaborated I am [sic] many different research projects". Do they know this from other elements of your application? More importantly, is this is the message you want to send? Just "collaborated" is awfully passive. What did you do? What did you learn?

Finally, have you ever heard of the five paragraph essay format? While it is certainly not the only way to write essays, it's very valuable.
 
  • #8
Remove the first two paragraphs. They add nothing to your essay.

One rule of writing statement of purposes is never mention your childhood, and never talk about your passion and love for physics. It's not that you aren't passionate about physics, but that everyone else that applies is also.

One other problem is that it's not obvious until the last sentence who you are writing the essay to. You need to talk more about the person you think is going to read the essay.
 
  • #9
Vanadium 50, thank you very much for your comments, very helpful and clear. Can you please tell me more about that "FIVE PARAGRAPHS ESSAY". I've never heard it before. Please, give me a link if you have any.
 
  • #10
kthouz said:
Can you please tell me more about that "FIVE PARAGRAPHS ESSAY". I've never heard it before. Please, give me a link if you have any.

Five paragraph essay is a format of an essay that is most commonly taught in the United States. I suggest you to do a little Google searching, but here are my short explanation and suggestion.

As the name suggests, it is an essay that is built from five paragraph. The first paragraph is usually your introduction paragraph, where you summarize the main topic of your paper and provide your thesis (i.e. the ultimate point of your paper). In your statement of purpose, this is where you should describe what you are applying for (i.e. PhD in physics) and your ultimate goal (i.e. becoming a professor, etc.).

The second, third, and fourth are you body paragraphs. In each paragraph, you should write about one specific point that you want to discuss. So for example, you can devote your second paragraph explaining why you want to go to a grad school in physics, and in third paragraph, you can describe any significant experience you've had that you want to go for grad school in physics (e.g. research experiences, classes you've taken, etc.). Note that while it is called "five paragraph essay," your essay doesn't need to have five paragraphs. So if you can think of only two body paragraphs, that's completely fine.

The last paragraph is reserved for the conclusion of your essay. You are essentially trying to "wrap up" your essay. You might want to summarize your essay (with a different flavor from your introduction), and perhaps explain why you want to go to physics grad school at that school in particular (you might be able to do this in your body paragraph as well).

My last advice is to keep your essay as short as possible; it is usually a good idea to keep your essay within a page (with font size 12 and single spaced; this is approximately 400-500 words). And you want to be concise and always to the point; if you start to ramble, the person who is reading this (i.e. admission officer) will get bored pretty fast.

Use my advice if you think this is useful; ignore it otherwise.
 
  • #11
A Google search of "five paragraph essay" gave 315,000 hits. Pick one.
 

1. What is the purpose of a Statement of Purpose for a physics graduate program?

A Statement of Purpose is a document that outlines your academic and professional goals, as well as your interest in pursuing a graduate degree in physics. It is an opportunity for you to showcase your unique qualifications, skills, and experiences that make you a strong candidate for the program.

2. What should be included in a Statement of Purpose for a physics graduate program?

A Statement of Purpose should include a brief introduction about yourself, your academic background, your research interests, and your career goals. It should also highlight any relevant experiences or achievements that demonstrate your passion for physics and your potential for success in the program.

3. How long should a Statement of Purpose be for a physics graduate program?

The length of a Statement of Purpose can vary, but most graduate programs will specify a word or page limit. Generally, it should be concise and to the point, typically ranging from 500-1000 words or 1-2 pages. It is important to make every word count and avoid including unnecessary information.

4. What sets a strong Statement of Purpose apart from a weak one?

A strong Statement of Purpose is one that is well-written, focused, and tailored specifically to the program you are applying to. It should also demonstrate your passion for physics, highlight your unique experiences and qualifications, and provide clear and specific examples to support your claims. On the other hand, a weak Statement of Purpose may lack focus, be too generic, or fail to provide concrete evidence of your qualifications.

5. Can I use the same Statement of Purpose for multiple graduate programs?

While some information may overlap, it is generally not recommended to use the same Statement of Purpose for multiple graduate programs. Each program is looking for specific qualities and qualifications, so it is important to tailor your statement to each program to demonstrate your fit and interest. This also shows your dedication and effort in applying to each program individually.

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