The Moose Cleanse: Natural Detoxing for Optimal Health

[dkotschessaa]

This is hilarious if you've ever read about "cleansing" diets or "detoxing."

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/02/the-moose-cleanse/272788/

Did you know that pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on earth? It's true. Moose are very in tune with their natural surroundings. The cavemen understood this, so why don't we? Ever see a moose drop dead of a heart attack? Or turn down some bark because it's worried about blood sugar levels?

Of course not.

It's an unfortunate reality of life that toxins are constantly building up in our bodies.

A moose cleanse is a natural way to release those toxins, to give your body a break. It's pure, it's simple, and it's natural. A moose is both in the forest and of the forest. And after just a few days on the moose cleanse, you will be too.

 

[Drakkith]

Buahahaha!

Look, your body works hard to break nutrients down into usable forms of energy, and sometimes your digestive system needs a break from digesting. Just like how sometimes your skin needs a rest from holding all your organs inside of you, or how your blood needs to take a rest from transporting dissolved gases away from your lungs

 

[Evo]

This is hilarious if you've ever read about "cleansing" diets or "detoxing."

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/02/the-moose-cleanse/272788/

This was awesome.

When you moose, you'll be able to process way more birch through bark stripping than you could ever just eat at one time.

Are you excited? Are you ready to make a commitment to stay focused throughout your moose cleanse? Know that this is something you're capable of. Get excited about your moose cleanse. Remember, it's not about "not eating" human food. It's about eating more pondweed. Moose with a partner, and create a moosing schedule so that you can structure your day around it. I recommend moosing every two hours.

:!) Who will be my moosing partner?

 

[Drakkith]

I think I'll have to pass Evo. This cereal tastes too good.

 

[dkotschessaa]

I think I'll have to pass Evo. This cereal tastes too good.

But "Remember, it's not about "not eating" human food. It's about eating more pondweed. "

 

[AlephZero]

Isn't "pondweed" another name for tofu?

But then I always get confused betwee tofu and tufa...