iron can bond to copper.
It happens so that the electron clouds must fit, as in Lego roghly speaking. Some atoms electron clouds fits better with some kinds of atoms and worse with others. Thas has to do with the pauli prinicple, that states that no fermin can occupy the same quantum state. This is the thing that prevents the world from collapsing. If we not had the pauli principle, atomic nucleus would not exist, and all eletrons would be in lowest state and so on. The pauli principle is not a force, science it does not comes from a potentail, nor it has exchange particles transmitting the field quanta.
And then you of course have competing forces in atom-bonding; at some temperatures atoms bond togheter and form a solid (helium becomes solid at very very low temperatures but mercury is liquid at room temperature)
The force that holds atoms in a crystal togheter is electromagnetic force, and the principle that prevents atoms to beeing to close (actually certain electron states) is the Pauli principle.