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http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/02/13/greene.gracious.gesture/index.html?hpt=C1
I stumbled on this puff-piece and began to read it because of the mention of a "five star general"... which would be news to me in this century. Of course, the title worked, and by the time I'd realized the bait was there, the hook was in.
Not a bad one it turns out, because this describes the kind of common courtesy, and uncommon courtesy that people seem to be losing sight of. It doesn't matter who you are, or where you are in life; it costs little to nothing when you make another feel genuinely at ease. Let's face it, we've all been there in some way at some age... don't we wish one of these fellows had been there?
I often find that people in the "West" are less concerned with humiliation, or view it as beneficial when there's cause. I'm not weighing in on that, but in the cases outlined here, I think we can all agree that nothing was to be gained from it. When I hear about Hosni Mubarak being "spared humiliation" I laugh... this is what it really means, not soothing the ego of a wannabe-pharaoh.
What did he do next? Well, you already know, or read the story!
So... not just courtesy, but sparing someone more than their "lesson's worth" of embarrassment or shame... what do you think? Have we come far enough that we should buffer these kinds of experiences, or if you break Sinatra's alabaster, should you be crucified? Is it all just a matter of image? Personally, I see real value in mitigating shame and humiliation, but not eliminating it. These are stories in which the person was ALREADY going to be mortified, but now much less so. So how do you defuse a tense situation that is, truly, nobody's fault?
I stumbled on this puff-piece and began to read it because of the mention of a "five star general"... which would be news to me in this century. Of course, the title worked, and by the time I'd realized the bait was there, the hook was in.
Not a bad one it turns out, because this describes the kind of common courtesy, and uncommon courtesy that people seem to be losing sight of. It doesn't matter who you are, or where you are in life; it costs little to nothing when you make another feel genuinely at ease. Let's face it, we've all been there in some way at some age... don't we wish one of these fellows had been there?
I often find that people in the "West" are less concerned with humiliation, or view it as beneficial when there's cause. I'm not weighing in on that, but in the cases outlined here, I think we can all agree that nothing was to be gained from it. When I hear about Hosni Mubarak being "spared humiliation" I laugh... this is what it really means, not soothing the ego of a wannabe-pharaoh.
CNN Bob Greene said:
What did he do next? Well, you already know, or read the story!
So... not just courtesy, but sparing someone more than their "lesson's worth" of embarrassment or shame... what do you think? Have we come far enough that we should buffer these kinds of experiences, or if you break Sinatra's alabaster, should you be crucified? Is it all just a matter of image? Personally, I see real value in mitigating shame and humiliation, but not eliminating it. These are stories in which the person was ALREADY going to be mortified, but now much less so. So how do you defuse a tense situation that is, truly, nobody's fault?