Winter Classes for Men: THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

[BobG]

I can't decide which classes to take. Class 1 (below) sounds useful. The group practice in Class 3 sounds fun, but the class starts kind of late. Class 9 sounds great, too, but I'm not sure I can find the class room. Class 11 would be okay, but I'm not sure I like role-playing games. Class 13 sounds best of all, but the class schedule would virtually eliminate any chance of taking 2 classes at a time (unless I decide to take Class 3 and 13).

Winter Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, Jan 30, 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED! TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .​

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM


Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM


Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.



Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.



Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon , 2 hours.



Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined



Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .



Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.



Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I showed this list to my wife just so she could see how much better I am than other husbands. She signed me up for 4 classes. That's alright, I got a list of her shortcomings too, which this posting is too narrow to contain.

 

[Evo]

OMG!

I just burst out laughing and I'm at work.

 

[Astronuc]

Class 11 seems fundamental.

I probably need one on "Shopping Appreciation". I never learned that one. I appreciate not having to shop.

 

[marcusl]

When I saw the title of the post, I thought "I'm sure BobG has talked about work before, has he quit and gone back to school?"
You really suckered me in!

 

[BobG]

When I saw the title of the post, I thought "I'm sure BobG has talked about work before, has he quit and gone back to school?"
You really suckered me in!

What? A person can't do both? I've worked since I was junior high (newspaper route). I even found most of the houses and only got lost in the elevator once.

 

[jim mcnamara]

Oh, God! I got to get my weenie-waving wall-peeing 21-year old into this one:

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

He's diabetic and sweet pee is sticky as hell.

 

[jim mcnamara]

The heck with it - he needs almost all of them - do they remedial classes too?
He should start with that level I think.