You are as dazzling as a pregnant cow attired in electrical sockets.

[honestrosewater]

I just stumbled across this: The Surrealist Compliment Generator. (Refresh for more.)

 

[arildno]

I found this one:

"Your delightful banana reminds me of a cosmonaut in high heels."

 

[honestrosewater]

Oops, I think I broke it:
"Sir, what exquisite breasts you have!"

 

[arildno]

This one is rather grotesque, IMO:
" How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation? "

 

[Danger]

I just stumbled across this: The Surrealist Compliment Generator. (Refresh for more.)

This, if nothing else, should teach me not to sleep. Try to bag a few hours before work and that greets me in the morning! By the by, mine comes up in Italian. Any fix?

 

[hypatia]

Oh!, how you inflict me with wounds of paranoia and desire... hah!

 

[arildno]

I managed to get my banana compliment twice..
Does that mean anything?

 

[hypatia]

well sometimes a banana is just a banana

 

[arildno]

well sometimes a banana is just a banana

But the trouble is: I don't LIKE bananas, they taste awful! (the ones from the shop, I mean)

 

[Dayle Record]

Seven donkeys and a concubine cannot compare with the tarnished sheen left in your path of combustion.

 

[motai]

What??!

"Your skin emanates such a porcelain sheen that I am tempted to stamp WC across your bosom and under your armpits."

If I try to complement a girl with that... oh my. I don't want to think about what would happen to me then...

 

[arildno]

"In hunger you most certainly drool your tongue like a well-oiled pendulum, swinging to and fro in a sinusoidal frieze befitting a wounded mosque."

No comment..

 

[Danger]

"In hunger you most certainly drool your tongue like a well-oiled pendulum, swinging to and fro in a sinusoidal frieze befitting a wounded mosque."

No comment..

No need. That pretty much says it all.

 

[Moonbear]

You mutter such objects of equine delight, while in a basket of hounds and toes, that the mind's ability to sew together slices of mordant ivory becomes tamed with visions of Tamils in Constantinople.

It almost sounds like it means something.

Okay, and upon refreshing twice (I skipped the one that looked like it was French), I got this!

The dimples of your breasts do pucker evocatively when you smile.

I think I'm going to stop now, best to quit while I'm ahead (I think).

 

[arildno]

This one was rather kinky:

"Come, let me gnaw your fingernails that I may absorb and lose myself in the wise and gritty detritus that is you."

 

[BobG]

A pick-up line sure to lure only the most exciting of maidens - I think I'll use it in a C&W bar.

The spark of intelligence in your blinking eyes is not unlike the glow from the teeth of an electrocuted axe-murderess.

 

[BicycleTree]

This site is awesome!

 

[BicycleTree]

You so truly know your inner plankton, it is a revelation not unlike discovering an impacted toll booth upon the plains of Patagonia.

This one is most pleasing.

 

[Danger]

Quote:
The dimples of your breasts do pucker evocatively when you smile.

Evocatively? Are you two related?

 

[BicycleTree]

You know, I don't think this is a surrealist compliment generator. I think it's just a surrealist compliment database. Some of the compliments hang together too well to be randomly generated.

 

[Smurf]

"You have no socially redeeming value. "

Oh come on even I could do better than that.

 

[Smurf]

lmao
"If you were a camel your humps would be esoterically bald from overuse."
That one's better

 

[Danger]

"You have no socially redeeming value. "

Are you sure you didn't link into 'StatsCan' by accident?

 

[honestrosewater]

You know, I don't think this is a surrealist compliment generator. I think it's just a surrealist compliment database. Some of the compliments hang together too well to be randomly generated.

Yeah, the same compliments keep repeating too. Too bad. I found this when I was looking for a metaphor generator which shouldn't be too difficult to construct, but the ones I found generated nonsensical metaphors (and some of them weren't even metaphors but similes)- quite a let-down. Oh well.

 

[Dissident Dan]

"A legion of French Bosoms could not match the lucid beauty of your toenails!"

I'm going to have to try that...

 

[Dissident Dan]

"Your sunburnt skin is as beautiful as gangrenous flesh peeled from an amputated limb."

'nuff said.

edit...it just keeps...getting...better

"I would gladly eat chamberpots of your sickled beans and thalassemic rice."

"Your nose hairs scare me." ...yeah, that's a very complimentary compliment

 

[Smurf]

Your voice is as beautiful as a bra snapping on a sunburnt back

I like it

 

[loseyourname]

"Soft sausages would gladly procreate in the bathwater of your verisimilitude."

It seems to be generating empirical impossibilities.

 

[arildno]

God knows thou art a collop of my flesh. - W. Shakespeare, 1 Henry IV


Perhaps he wasn't such a big literary genius after all..

 

[Alkatran]

Possible dangerous to use:
Your fingers are as divine as the pope's nostril hair.
Thine right eye so plitherates that thine left eye doth graze uopn it.
If I were to combine your blood, toes, and hair, it might not be you, but it would be enough for my basic desires.
You wear your breasts to their full extent, like a man with an uncontrollable bulge in his apartment.

Senseless:
Troglodyte kidneys measure your eyes in sardonic spasms not unlike the movements of an albatross buried in creosote.
Its a far far better thing I do than to require that you find me a hammer and pummel me with all due diligence, but yet remember that it is I, your solicitor, who keeps you from aligning too much with the listerine salesman.