No need for apologies - the whole point of this thread, I believe, is to attempt an explanation that can be understood by non-experts (or amateurs, or laymen, or jal's grandma, depending on who's doing the explaining). I think confusion over jal's posts in particular is completely excusable, since it's his grandma who seems to define the lower limit of required knowledge for this thread. ;-) If his posts are confusing, then he should be asked to explain them, you shouldn't feel deficient.
As for your humor - hey, I picked up the ironic tone! But remember, annoying as they may be, that's what smilies were invented for. :-P
Now ... back to our regularly scheduled discussion (which I'm thoroughly enjoying too, by the way - I just haven't recently had any keen insights into how to explain any of this better than what's been posted.)