Lame Jokes

lisab

Someone broke into the police station overnight and stole all the toilet seats. The thief left no clues, and police have nothing to go on.

Borek

Anna should start to post in Relationship

lisab

What goes off, until you turn it off?

rohitm95

cow crossed the road

Borek

Go deeper inside, there will be a detour through Narnia.

Ivan Seeking

Picabo [Peekaboo] Street, the former World Cup alpine ski racer from the U.S., was fired from her new job as an ICU nurse, today. Why? When she answered the phone she would say, Picabo, ICU...

dkotschessaa

IMP

Someone in a Prius actually tried to race me the other day, I had him for the first 100 feet but then my legs gave out.

Borg

I was out of gas.

Borek

If you can solve - you are too close!!!

I like Serena

Hehe. So if you can't solve, all is good? :P

Char. Limit

Sorry, the logical equivalent is "if you are not too close, then you can't solve!"

mrcheeses

Ohm my god! :o

dkotschessaa

if you can solve you are too close

Also
"You can't solve or you are too close"
"It is not the case that You can solve this and you are not too close"

dkotschessaa

And now, switching to inductive logic:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

dkotschessaa

Denying the antecedent, (as well as dessert:)

A logician said to his son, “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you can’t have any ice cream.” Upon hearing this, the son choked down a plate of broccoli, and his father, duly impressed, sent him to bed without any ice cream.

FtlIsAwesome

I need one of those. xD