Physicist, mathematician and engineer jokes.

SrEstroncio

Found this while lurking around, thought I'd share:

http://www.cs.northwestern.edu/~ries...thphyseng.html

Bai bai.

Moonbear

I like the Hunting and Red Rubber Ball ones the best.

Argentum Vulpes

Hey I resent that red rubber ball joke. Now where is my ANSI book on offenses so I can figure out how much I resent it, or maybe it is in one of my ASTM books.

tiny-tim

I think the "sheep" joke gets it wrong …
i] surely the physicist would know all about how to make observations, while the mathematician may not even be aware that there are two-sided sheep?

ii] and anyway, it was a physicist, Dirac, who made the observation that this joke is based on …

From p.148 of "Quips, quotes, and quanta: an anecdotal history of physics" By Anton Z. Capri …

Jimmy Snyder

No, the mathematician lights the papers in the trashcan on fire reducing it to the previous case.

ninar

Whats a mathematician doing outside your home???
Well, (s)hes waiting for you to pay her/him for the pizza

Whats the most common question a mathematician will ask?
"Wooouuuldddchaaa like fries with your order sIIIIr/maaaaAAAm???

SrEstroncio

What's the difference between a mathematician and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family.

humanino

Would you add apples and oranges ?

tiny-tim

To a pizza?

Or to a π?

ninar

lllllloooooooooooooooooollll haha so sillyyy

Redbelly98

mgb_phys

Prime numbers;
Computer scientist; 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime,

Sheep in Scotland:
Astronomer: after seeing one sheep, - see all sheep in Scotland are black
Computer scientist; Ohh look baa-baas

redargon

Physicist: How does the universe work?
Engineer: How does an aircraft work?
Mathematician: Do you want fries with that?

These are generic and anything can be substituted for mathematician, we used to use: "Arts Major"

BobG

Close.

A physicist curls the fingers of his right hand with his thumb sticking straight out, then rotates is hand around and looks at it from different angles and thinks, "I'm actually getting paid to do this."

An engineer aligns the thumb, index, and middle finger of his right hand so they're all perpendicular to each other, rotates his hand around and looks at it from several different angle while thinking, "I'm actually getting paid to do this."

A mathematician carefully curls the fingers of right hand, and carefully stretches his thumb out along the spatula as the grease from each burger he flips leaves tiny little circular burn marks all along his forearm, he attempts to wipe the sweat from his brow with his left hand, but only smears hot grease across his forehead, and all the while he's wondering if there's some way he can hide in graduate school forever.

turbo

My musician friends and I used to use "drummer".

Ex: How many female vocalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. She holds the bulb in the socket and the world revolves around her.

mgb_phys

What did the drummer get on his theoretical physics exam ?

drool...

turbo

How do you know when the roadies have gotten the riser level? Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.