- #1
Mk
- 2,039
- 4
Franzbear lives in a small suburb, spending the earlier years of his life on a steady diet of soda pop and ritalin, trying out different drugs and spending the rest of his time around a local 7-11.
Tired of his life in the small Colorado town... not South Park, Franzbear starts to break down and leaves to start a new life in the big city
Franzbear's very excited to be able to start a new life in "The City" and starts to have fun causing all sorts of mischief. But eventually Franzbear wakes up to reality and notices that Franzbear is all alone with no one else. Franzbear then becomes a rebel, spending his time with other criminals in an alley doing drugs and other things. After his run in with the law, he gets a successful desk job, in a small cubicle by the window in a stapler manufacturing company. Franzbear fills out paperwork, which he finds very boring, compared to his previous life of walking the streets and causing trouble. He started to eat the bad staples, that were thrown away, because he went bankrupt.
It was not a very healthy diet for Franzbear, who soon turned ferromagnetic.
The magnetism rendered Franzbear sterile, for which he did not like. Franzbear wrongly turned to magic for the solution. Franzbear always had a soft spot for the horny beauties... sometimes a hard spot. So he bought some on the French black market.
He often rode them all day long before that over-consumption of too many staples. They took turns though, to be fair. The unicorns would ride Franzbear too.
Nothing made him happier.
One day Franzbear bought a sloth, three-toed it was, and pretty stinky. Franzbear didn't like it, but he didn't want to give it away or kill it. It was attached to him. Literally.
One day Franzbear was pushed off a wooden rollercoaster, and fell off into a canyon. A boulder fell on his sloth, and it died. Franzbear cut it off with his pocket knife.
Franzbear became hysterically happy, and replaced the sloth with a butterfly, three-toed it was, which he later cooked, and ate for dinner. It wasn't much, but it was better than the staples.
Franzbear got food poisoning from it, so he went to Mr. Doctor and got cured faster than a ham.
One day his boss found out how many staples Franzbear had eaten. It was exactly 279,356,934,023.5349. Franzbear was fired, making the staple job the 36th job he was fired from.
He went to go work at a glue factory.
He liked the glue more than the staples, but constantly worried that someone would take his unicorns and make magic glue, so he hid them in the Congese jungle.
Franzbear was still scared, so he quit his very important job of stirring bubbling epoxy.
God saw Franzbear tell his boss he was quiting. God became disgruntled...
Tired of his life in the small Colorado town... not South Park, Franzbear starts to break down and leaves to start a new life in the big city
Franzbear's very excited to be able to start a new life in "The City" and starts to have fun causing all sorts of mischief. But eventually Franzbear wakes up to reality and notices that Franzbear is all alone with no one else. Franzbear then becomes a rebel, spending his time with other criminals in an alley doing drugs and other things. After his run in with the law, he gets a successful desk job, in a small cubicle by the window in a stapler manufacturing company. Franzbear fills out paperwork, which he finds very boring, compared to his previous life of walking the streets and causing trouble. He started to eat the bad staples, that were thrown away, because he went bankrupt.
It was not a very healthy diet for Franzbear, who soon turned ferromagnetic.
The magnetism rendered Franzbear sterile, for which he did not like. Franzbear wrongly turned to magic for the solution. Franzbear always had a soft spot for the horny beauties... sometimes a hard spot. So he bought some on the French black market.
He often rode them all day long before that over-consumption of too many staples. They took turns though, to be fair. The unicorns would ride Franzbear too.
Nothing made him happier.
One day Franzbear bought a sloth, three-toed it was, and pretty stinky. Franzbear didn't like it, but he didn't want to give it away or kill it. It was attached to him. Literally.
One day Franzbear was pushed off a wooden rollercoaster, and fell off into a canyon. A boulder fell on his sloth, and it died. Franzbear cut it off with his pocket knife.
Franzbear became hysterically happy, and replaced the sloth with a butterfly, three-toed it was, which he later cooked, and ate for dinner. It wasn't much, but it was better than the staples.
Franzbear got food poisoning from it, so he went to Mr. Doctor and got cured faster than a ham.
One day his boss found out how many staples Franzbear had eaten. It was exactly 279,356,934,023.5349. Franzbear was fired, making the staple job the 36th job he was fired from.
He went to go work at a glue factory.
He liked the glue more than the staples, but constantly worried that someone would take his unicorns and make magic glue, so he hid them in the Congese jungle.
Franzbear was still scared, so he quit his very important job of stirring bubbling epoxy.
God saw Franzbear tell his boss he was quiting. God became disgruntled...
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