I am at a cross roads and wonder if anyone has been here or what you all think. Let me start with some background. I went into college and picked a major- physics with a math minor. I found the material interesting but I was not absorbed by it. I figured that if i can get a degree in a hard field, I should be able to get a job afterwards. My GPA in physics was a 3.3 or so, 3.8 in math, and about a 4.0 in the electives. I really didn't study too much, pretty much did my homework and figured I was set. Graduated with my BS and had no idea what I wanted to do. I figured that I would apply to graduate school to eat up some more time and I would figure things out. I got into an aerospace eng. program at a major university. I was in the program for one semester before switching into the physics department. Eng. is not for me. :yuck: I got into the physics program without even taking the physics gre. After entering, I pretty much kept to myself. I basically only learned Q.M. in graduate school since I didnt take a course as an undegrad. My other classes were a complete waste of my time. Seriously. I know alot of that is my fault as I was burnt out on school and my profs would point me to a solution manual when asked questions during office hours. (Not all of them mind you)Soon, I stopped studying altogether. I received mostly B's in my classes, which I take as saying- "yes you showed up to class." Essentially my conceptual understanding not only stagnated but likely regressed during this interval. I was not happy with school. So I got out with my M.S. after submitting a thesis on semiconductor physics, which I didnt even think was worthy of a thesis. Somehow or another, I was offered a temporary position to teach the intro undergraduate classes at this school. A few of the profs recommended me for the position. I also started to teach at the local community college. I found it! I love teaching physics. Problem is that this school is now is letting me go since I do not have a PHD. (My reviews from students are very good by the way.) It does seem to me that even the community college really wants everyone to have a PHD as well for a full time position. (I have applied for the full time positions there with no luck yet; I do know the dept. head.) So while teaching physics, I realized how much I really do not know. I still make mistakes in the intro classes although not nearly as much now. Of course this is to be expected, I guess. I also realized that I am fascinated by the subject. I study it now more than I ever have in the past. I am currently going through all of my undergraduate texts and solving a great deal of the problems in them. Do I go back and get my PHD? I really couldn't pick an area to focus on when in school before and it is still hard now. I like all areas of physics. Secondly, in the back of my mind I wonder if I am able to do it? I am my own biggest critic and sulk for a week if i make a mistake in front of my students. I really felt lost in graduate school. It seemed everyone else had a grasp of what was going on and to me every class was about learning how to calculate this or that integral, etc. Maybe I am too classical minded?? I want to understand why and I was not getting that. Have you been down this road? I would like to hear your thoughts. Thanks for your time.