Critique Request: Listen to "Rite of Ash" by Cory R

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I'm thinking of uploading this piece to my portfolio, but I'm not sure if it's up to standards. As always, I'd like as many third part perspectives as I can get so I'm hoping the fine people here at PF with their impeccable tastes could perhaps lend me their ear. Listen to this on good speakers with a lot of volume, as this is a very dynamic track! Takk.

http://soundcloud.com/cory-r/rite-of-ash
 
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hm... not sure what effect you are going for, but to me it sounds like the second half needs some more bass or drums or cymbals or something to make it more epic...
overall pretty good tho, sounds like a movie soundtrack, like a battle or the build up to some grand event.
(though I was not listening on brilliant speakers...)
 
The last third is fine as it is, but it could use more subtle rise, rise, rise, then fall to build up the emotion or tension.

Very nice piece.