Dealing with Personal & Academic Problems: Seeking Help and Moving Forward

[Villhelm]

Ok, I don't know if this is an appropriate place to be posting this, maybe someone can offer a suggestion, but if anything I really need to just get this off my chest, even if it's to strangers online.

Over the last couple of years I've been slowly building up a lot of problems for myself personally and academically and the main cause is that I'm a borderline alcoholic for which I've only realized in the last week when my flat mate had to haul me to an exam I didn't even know I had, and I've more than likely flunked most of my other exams this semester plus have a practically nonexistent attendance record at most classes.

I've been making stupid excuses to myself for skipping classes, missing deadlines and doing shoddy work - I'd convince myself that for the time spent, I was doing an acceptable, even good if not utterly heroic all-nighter even if the piece of work was actually pathetic and barely passing. I'd also convince myself that one day didn't matter, that there was always tomorrow, and then the next day and the day after that and so on and that's how I've spent most of this last year, just frittering days away because I'd rather spend it at bars getting hammered.

I've not drank for about a week now, have been to AA meetings twice and my room mate's been helping me a great deal and things are going ok, but it's tough trying to adjust and I have a lot of apprehension about dealing with people who I've let down and am taking things slowly for now, but I don't want to leave myself open to getting used to not dealing with things again either. My family probably doesn't know anything as I've neither visited since last summer nor talked to them honestly about how I'm getting on, I do plan on informing them, but at the moment I just want to clear my feet academically. I will have resit attempts in august, but I'm not sure whether I should talk to my academic adviser/councillor about this before or after them, primarily because I've been a cocky bullcrap merchant with him this last year already regarding missed classes & deadlines and how I'd definitely try harder for the next one, which never lasted long ... but I don't want to arrive at his office again with nothing but more arm waving because I doubt I'd handle his reaction all that well at the moment as I do now really care what he thinks of me, so I'm not sure whether I might be better just keeping my head down for now and getting through my resits so I can feel confident about reintroducing myself to the world. I know it's maybe a little weird to want to please my advisor of all people, but I'm not going to knock any motivator I can get at the moment and that's another part of the reason I'm not sure I want to inform him right now and risk to burst the bubble while I'm still fragile.

Anyway, I'm going to spend my first day in the library today, what a rebel :)

 

[fasterthanjoao]

I will have resit attempts in august, but I'm not sure whether I should talk to my academic adviser/councillor about this before or after them, primarily because I've been a cocky bullcrap merchant with him this last year already regarding missed classes & deadlines and how I'd definitely try harder for the next one, which never lasted long ...

I would speak to your academic advisor just now to let them know about your situation. Telling them after your resists wouldn't really serve any purpose, it would maybe only make you feel better about things. Keeping your university in check with any difficult times you're having (and this applies to everyone) is important. They want you to succeed, and if they can help, normally they will. This goes double for things like missed exams or poor performances. If you speak to a doctor about your problems as well then (how do you US guys do it?) you might get a medical certificate. If not, then telling your university might at least allow a note to be put on record so that, in the future, they are aware of the reasons for your poor attendance and exam results.

Finally, good luck, Villhelm! it sounds as though you are going in the right direction - well done.