Deep Thoughts: New & Used Thoughts to Ponder

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SUMMARY

This forum discussion centers around humorous and thought-provoking quotes, often referred to as "Deep Thoughts." Participants share a variety of quotes from notable figures, including Robert Stack, George Bush Jr., and Jack Handey, showcasing a blend of humor and wisdom. The quotes range from political commentary to whimsical observations about life, reflecting a diverse array of perspectives. The discussion highlights the cultural impact of these quotes and their relevance in contemporary discourse.

PREREQUISITES
  • Familiarity with cultural references in American humor
  • Understanding of notable figures in politics and entertainment
  • Knowledge of the context surrounding "Deep Thoughts" from SNL
  • Awareness of the significance of quotes in shaping public perception
NEXT STEPS
  • Research the history and impact of "Deep Thoughts" on SNL
  • Explore the works and quotes of Jack Handey
  • Analyze the rhetorical techniques used in political humor
  • Investigate the influence of humor in public speaking and political discourse
USEFUL FOR

Anyone interested in humor, cultural commentary, and the intersection of politics and entertainment, including writers, comedians, and social commentators.

  • #31
Danger said:
Hi honey! Where you been? Oh crap, the old man's reading this, ain't he?
I mean... hi Tsu. How you been?
Hi, sweetie! :biggrin: I been good! 5 acres keeps me real busy! How you been? I see you've been in rare form lately! :devil: Keep up the good work. :biggrin: Oh. And don't worry about Ivan. He can't read the small print. :wink: :smile:
 
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  • #32
Tsu said:
5 acres keeps me real busy!
I'd expect so, especially if you're still having to work around that deceased ruminant. (I mean the deer, not Ivan.)

Tsu said:
How you been?
Very well, thanks. Your sisters have been keeping me alert (and nervous).

Tsu said:
I see you've been in rare form lately!
It's been said that my humour is very rare; at least, it's certainly not well done.
 
  • #33
FredGarvin said:
- Chef from South Park

He was really talking about football, but I am a hockey player who can't stand football, so I changed it just a bit.[/size]

It works better for hockey anyway.

I'll have to write that one down.

Viruses make email less secure

-Some guy who's name i forget
 
  • #34
"I haven't had sex for so long I've forgotten who ties who up"

- Joan Rivers


"Too succeed is not enough - others must fail" (I can't remember who)
 
  • #35
Danger said:
I'd expect so, especially if you're still having to work around that deceased ruminant. (I mean the deer, not Ivan.)

I've not been working around the deceased ruminant (which is covered in lime and cedar shavings) although I have been repairing the damage the other two deer are doing to my flower gardens. :rolleyes: Oh well... I'd rather have deer lying around in my front yard with me than have nice rose bushes and unmunched columbine. :smile: I got a bit sunburned today, though, so I'll have to be careful the rest of this week.


Your sisters have been keeping me alert (and nervous).

Excellent. :devil:


It's been said that my humour is very rare; at least, it's certainly not well done.

Good point. :smile:
 
  • #36
Tsu said:
I've not been working around the deceased ruminant (which is covered in lime and cedar shavings)
Good mix for the smell, as long as it doesn't catch on fire. Isn't moisturized lime severely exothermic?

Tsu said:
I'd rather have deer lying around in my front yard with me than have nice rose bushes and unmunched columbine.
It certainly can be handy if you're hungry. Don't you guys have a barbecue coming up soon?

Tsu said:
I got a bit sunburned today, though, so I'll have to be careful the rest of this week.
I thought I told you to wear something while you're working. Bad enough what might get burned, never mind distracting the old guy so's he trips and falls into a dead deer or something.

Tsu said:
Excellent. :devil:
They have been performing above and beyond the call.

Tsu said:
Good point. :smile:
A hint of hesitation there would have been the compassionate approach.
 
  • #37
Danger said:
Very well, thanks. Your sisters have been keeping me alert (and nervous).
Yep, we've only had to resort to mild electroshock a few times. Nowhere near the fun we had torturing tribdog. :devil:
 
  • #38
So, how do you warn Danger that he's in danger?

Danger Danger!

What! What!

No, DANGER!

Yes, WHAT!

I see no escape.
 
  • #39
Ivan Seeking said:
So, how do you warn Danger that he's in danger?

Danger Danger!

What! What!

No, DANGER!

Yes, WHAT!

I see no escape.
:smile: You don't! :devil: He has no idea of what Tsu and I are capable of doing when we put our minds and medical knowledge together.
 
  • #40
"I read somewhere that drinking is harmful, I gave up reading"

"For me, old age is fifteen years more than I am now"
 
  • #41
Ivan Seeking said:
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
:smile: LOL :smile:

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, SNL, great stuff. That story about Disney Land...kinda like this?

http://img282.echo.cx/img282/8549/tombstone4xy.jpg
 
  • #42
SOS2008 said:
:smile: LOL :smile:

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, SNL, great stuff. That story about Disney Land...kinda like this?

http://img282.echo.cx/img282/8549/tombstone4xy.jpg



:smile: :smile: :smile:

Life imitates art!
 
  • #43
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw **** you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.

These are just hilarious
 
  • #44
This was allegedly one of Neils Bohr's favourite stories:

A physicist had a horseshoe hanging over the door of his lab. His colleagues were surprised to see this, and asked him if he thought it would bring luck to his experiments. He replied "No, I don't believe in superstitions. But I have been told that it works even if you don't believe in it."
 
  • #45
Ivan Seeking said:
So, how do you warn Danger that he's in danger?

Danger Danger!
Just don't call me 'Will Robinson' and we'll get along fine.

Moonbear said:
:smile: You don't! :devil: He has no idea of what Tsu and I are capable of doing when we put our minds and medical knowledge together.
I figure I'll find out soon enough if you ever catch up to Artman.
 
  • #46
A closed mouth gathers no foot. (Saw it and grabbed it). :biggrin:

And worthy of Jeff Foxworthy,

If you have to mow your driveway, it's time to fix the asphalt. :biggrin:
 
  • #47
The well known chinese philosopher confucius once said -
Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

Man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion.

He who fish in other's hole often catch crabs.

No difference between man and mouse - both end in kitty.


History is just one damn thing after another Attributed to WINSTON CHURCHILL
 
  • #48
What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other direction?

If we still had long tails, how would we dress?

Is it a coincidence that at least one finger is small enough to fit into the nostrils? Does this mean that at some time the nose pickers flourished while the big fingered hominids died out?
 
  • #49
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why
aren't people from Holland called Holes?

-Some character from another forum