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Do older adults understand youngsters?

  1. May 1, 2006 #1
    Do "older" adults understand youngsters?

    Half an hour ago I received a call from my teacher. It's my 7th this year from the same person. She keeps on calling my house whenever I do something wrong or she doesn't like. Everytime I'd missed an assignment she calls me. It's not because I don't want to, it's because at that time I find something better to do. I'm fully aware of consequences, grades and the like. I don't want to spend all my time doing a single homework from a single subject, I want to enjoy the life. Why should I give out all I can just to receive a good place in a grave yard? She doesn't understand nor I do. She doesn't draw conlusions from events nor I do. She keeps on calling me, but haven't she noticed that I didn't change? I keep on doing the same thing, and she keeps on telling me the same thing and that I do the same thing everyday. The same thing everyday is not about homework, is about my notebook, and lunch. Although I know her reason, and logic, I don't know why she doesn't care about others' feelings.

    She has already hurted me more than most of the people. At the beginning, nobody participated, she'd been getting angry every single day, yelling, screaming, trying to take a revange, and seeing that, I tried to participate to save her day, make it happy and don't spoil it by acts of others. I'd answered her every question, and sometime given some opinions, what did I receive instead? A home call, that I pretend to be too smart and to know everything. After all, I hadn't had even a notion of being "smarter" than others. I kept talking to her, and trying to show her that I'm different than she thinks, it didn't work out. From then not only whenever I didn't do the homework I received a call, but also whenever I didn't participate and didn't answer her questions.

    I don't have such problems with other teachers. I might even say, I have good relationships with teachers, most of them are my school friends, except for her. We talk, but she doesn't listen to me. She tried to put other teachers against me, and It worked out for a while. Teachers really thought that I'm a cynic and selfish person. Then well, maybe though I don't see such trait inside me, I really am that? It's alright now, it's all fixed, but it hurts, it hurts a lot. I can't withstand misunderstanding of my personality, because it brings towers down within a few seconds.

    After all she's a good teacher. Some people are just driven by stereotype, and stereotypical reasons, not understanding the true sense at all. I may as well say that similar thing happens with my parents, and grandmas/pas
    They don't understand.
    Why older adults don't understand and learn from youngster? Do they think they know better, or are masters of youths? Will there ever be time when we start learning from each other, no matter of physical, mental appearance, age, gender? After all we're all alike, although not the same.
  2. jcsd
  3. May 1, 2006 #2


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    Sounds like you're being a little naive here. Who said you understand her/him? Just because you understand the teacher's reason or logic, it doesn't mean you understand them in particular.

    If I had to choose from a teacher's opinion or a student's opinion without hearing them, I'd choose the teacher's opinion. Most students think they know what is right, but clearly they do not.

    For example, you complain that she/he calls you when you don't do your assignments. Well, if those are the rules, those are the rules. That's that. You can't sweet talk all your teachers into accepting the way you are about doing nothing. If I was a teacher, and I had a potentially bright student like you, I would not only call your house all the time, but setup parent-teacher meetings every week until you start doing them. Call me an ass or what you will, but when you become wiser, you'll know better and keep your mouth shut.

    You're asking that your teacher stops caring about you. For me, it's a dream to have a teacher care about you. Stop taking this for granted.

    Do your homework and do your best. Just trust me on this one.

    Note: I was the same way before. Now I'm 22 years old. Not only did my past behaviour and attitude slap me in the face now, it also punched me right in the face. Now that hurts.

    (I did not get physically hurt. It's just a saying for screwing up really bad.)
    Last edited: May 1, 2006
  4. May 1, 2006 #3


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    That's exactly what it all means. Very well put, Jason. :approve:
  5. May 1, 2006 #4


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    She cares a lot about you, something you should be grateful for.

    The best way to fix it is to do better, and take into account her suggestions. Do your homework and care more about school. Learn much, and keep your options open for your future. You are very intelligent, and want to keep your options open.
    Last edited: May 1, 2006
  6. May 1, 2006 #5


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    Personally, I think it shows that she thinks you have potential you're not using. Thank the stars and thank her for caring enough about you to bother to call you. Any other "normal" teacher might've just flunked you and been on their merry way.

    And you're a student. Doing assignments is your duty. There's nothing saying you can't have fun, but you're supposed to complete the work first.

    If you don't care enough about the class to bother with assignments, just talk to the teacher and tell her you don't care, you're flunking out, don't bother calling. That would be more honest. Just don't expect any favors from her down the road.

    And you're too young to think about graveyards. I know a ton of people who expressed very similar sentiments to you when they were in school (and acted on it) who're now caretakers of graveyards because they couldn't get any other jobs.

    A good education is not overrated, no matter what the prevailing pop culture opinion is these days.
  7. May 2, 2006 #6
    Thanks for the words Jason.

    I'd be a good news reporter, it's all a little bit exaggerated. It doesn't look so bad like one may conclude from my first post. By the situation I wanted to describe and say that Adults are often driven by reason and logic and rarely by feelings. Sometimes their reasons may hurt others and they don't give a thought about it. I think home calls from school don't do any good. People won't change by that, it just creates a bigger distance between a student and a teacher. A simple conversation with student may do more, than calling home and talking to parents. The situation above was caused by me, and I'm aware of that. She calls because she cares, but once you receive too much 'care' from others you start to dislike it. It's good to have something but not too much. When people start to care about you and base the progress of the class on you, then you receive too much pressure, stress, and all similar things, finally running out of fuel as you cannot disapoint neither of those. A few hours ago I had a conversation with teacher, and it all is solved. I know how I made a mistake, and how mistaken was my thinking of her mistake and care for feelings. Now I'll try to fix myself and do all the work, after all I come to school and school doesn't come to me, therefore I should follow the progress. Above all, I still don't know why most of the adults don't care about young feelings.

    Thanks everyone for responses.

    From now on I shall do every single assignment. I get it now. I don't think that what I've done was very intelligent.

    I like what you just said. It made me think about something, if you don't want to lose your life working hard and not accomplishing anything, spend part of your life doing very good in school. Then you'll be able to choose the job you want and what is closest to your interest as that will make your job nice and pleasurable. Otherwise if you don't care and do good in school, you'll be forced to take whatever they give and whatever gives a notion of money, probably losing your life on work full of hate.
    Last edited: May 2, 2006
  8. May 2, 2006 #7


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    By design, teachers are tenacious in wanting kids to learn. Its kids like you that turn them in to bitter, old malcontents.

    I suspect she does understand your point of view, but whether or not she really does isn't relevant: what you are doing is wrong and, like a good teacher, she is trying to change it.

    Not caring is a disease common among teenagers and virtually all eventually realize that if allowed to go on that way, they'll regret the mistakes it leads to. Ie, high school dropout-ism has been a recent topic in the news and in PF these days and virtually all who are interviewed years later regret it. The damage it does to your life if you drop out is crystal clear.
    Last edited: May 2, 2006
  9. May 2, 2006 #8


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    heartless - consider turning your negative feelings into something positive. As others have indicated, the teacher has shown concern for your academic performance.

    Don't forget to thank your teacher at the end of the school year. :smile:
  10. May 2, 2006 #9


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    This is very true. Keep reminding yourself of this on the days when you don't feel inclined to study. If you put in the effort now and do well, you'll have more doors of opportunity open to find a job that is fun and fulfilling when you're older than if you play now and spend the rest of your life in a miserable job. Nobody would say you should never have fun as a kid either, but you're not really a kid any more...you're a teenager, and partway between being a kid and an adult, so you need to learn to balance your time between play and hard work.
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