- #36
elibol
- 107
- 0
Originally posted by Thallium
Sex is not love. Sex is lust and desire.
what u quoted didnt have anything to do with lust and desire, nor sex. what are you implying?
Originally posted by Thallium
Sex is not love. Sex is lust and desire.
Originally posted by elibol
i think this has been stated too general, and should be a lot more circumstantial. more so based on each individual in the world, and that persons pre-existing relationships...
there are obvious reasons you have overlooked that monoamorous relationships are desired-> the simple fact that someone would rather have someone elses company as opposed to your exclusive company sort of makes you feel like ****.
and that's my point exactly, feel, emotion, things that separate us from animals.
i know animals have emotions, but not nearly as powerful as human emotion. which further backs my opinion.
so you know, i favor neither, and stand by the fact that it is very circumstantial.
and i feel you favor polyamorously relationships because of the circumstances you happen to live under right now...
i could be wrong.
Originally posted by Hurkyl
It would be nice if either side could make an argument that doesn't essentially start with the assumtion that their side is right.
Originally posted by elibol
there is one thing however i will reply to-> yes, i suppose the confliction i mentioned that one may run into when one desires to transist from a monoamorous relationship to a polyamorous one does describe jealousy directly... but jealousy seems so unavoidable for a person that is not interested in polyamorousity with a partner that is... i still think it is an important point to consider for anyone that is interested in polyamorousity with a pre-existing monoamorous relationship (which is the case for most people i believe).
Originally posted by Be Happy!
It is really interesting how the theme of jealousy keeps coming up- especially for those folks who don't like the thought of polyamorousness...
Having a relationship guided by jealousy seems counter to the idea of being with someone in the spirit of true friendship.
Wouldn't it make more sense to be in a monoamorous relationship without jealousy, as opposed to being in it because of jealousy?
Originally posted by physicsisphirst
if someone you love, loves and is loved by another, shouldn't that be something to rejoice in? is your love's happiness not worth much?
[?]
if someone you love, loves and is loved by another, shouldn't that be something to rejoice in? is your love's happiness not worth much?
I think the true qualm is not jealousy but selfishness. People put their own happiness over that of those they claim to love. I personally believe that if you truly love someone you will consider their feelings and happiness before your own.
Originally posted by Hurkyl
You seem to imply that Alice, knowing that Bob loves Cindy, is selfishly requiring Bob to love only herself.
Originally posted by Evo
Thanks physicsisphirst for bringing a happy ending to this tragedy!
I think that monoamorous relationships are difficult enough.
I'm a sucker for animals.Originally posted by physicsisphirst
and thank you evo - spot's fate was worrying me considerably!
You have hit the nail on the head. I believe that most people enter a relationship assuming that it will be monoamorous. I think it is safe to say that the majority of people would not be readily "open" to the idea of their "loved one" suddenly deciding that he/she wanted to include someone else.perhaps the real issue lies with this concept of 'relationship'.
Originally posted by Evo
You have hit the nail on the head. I believe that most people enter a relationship assuming that it will be monoamorous. I think it is safe to say that the majority of people would not be readily "open" to the idea of their "loved one" suddenly deciding that he/she wanted to include someone else.
Yep.Originally posted by Dissident Dan
Which is probably where a lot of the problems in monoamorous relationships come from.
Originally posted by elibol
basically, the more the people, the more complex the emotions/relationships are to be...
Hubba hubba.Originally posted by Evo
Casual sex is something totally different.
But in Africa, it's unusual, if not unheard of, for a woman to have more than one partner, correct?Originally posted by physicsisphirst
not necessarily, eli.
nor is the complexity you speak of a detriment.
there is an african saying that i like very much:
"it takes a whole village to raise a child"
it is really a wonderful idea in theory and in practice despite the apparent added complexity. it is by no means exclusive to the african continent either.
for it to be successful, however, it does require the relinquishment of possessiveness towards your children and of course, the curses of jealousy, hatred and fear. such actions are good for the children, the parents and the village.
there is no reason why the same cannot be applied to other 'relationships' (if that is what you want to call them). this by no means suggests that everyone has to jump into each and every bed in the entire village, but it does mean that you are required to view yourself and your mono/poly partner(s) in a somewhat different way.
again, the concept of 'relationship' and what it entails, perhaps should be carefully re-examined.
Originally posted by physicsisphirst
not necessarily, eli.
nor is the complexity you speak of a detriment.
Yes, we are!Originally posted by elibol
evo, we are posting on the same threads... COOL HUH?
Originally posted by Hurkyl
But one can try to establish a common ground, and then sketch a path from said common ground to the position one holds.
Or at the very least, try to at least sketch a path from some basic ideas that the other side might not agree with, but can understand.
Originally posted by hypnagogue
I would also like to say that pejoratively characterizing a desire for monoamorousness as jealousy is faulty reasoning. Desiring monoamorousness does not automatically imply a jealous personality.
Exactly. Also, besides it not necessarily being related to jealousy, how can one person assume that the two (or more) people he/she "loves" will get along with each other? That's asking quite a bit.Originally posted by hypnagogue
I would also like to say that pejoratively characterizing a desire for monoamorousness as jealousy is faulty reasoning. Desiring monoamorousness does not automatically imply a jealous personality. Say someone likes to set aside a few hours of the day to be alone and away from everyone else. Does this mean that the person has a selfish aspect to him? Does it this fact alone indicate anything other than a personal preference? It seems to me that saying monoamorousness must imply a jealous nature is no better than saying polyamorousness must imply a sexually perverted nature. Both can exist without the pejoratives with which we are sometimes so quickly tempted to associate them.